Expecting
by NanaMun
Summary: JasperxEdward. An artificial insemination phenomenon and a broken relationship leaves a young man pregnant, single and alone. Will he finally find the love and support he'd been looking for?
1. Four Weeks

**Author's Notes:** As I'm closing my other chapter fics, I'm getting ideas for new ones and this one just...popped out. It is my first JasperxEdward story. I really thought the dynamics of their characters would work well for this fic and well...I enjoy them as a couple too. This is indeed an AU fic, but MPREG. Although it is somewhat scientifically explained, it's not enough to be completely factual, because as of today, it isn't. I expect the chapters to be shorter than my usual stuff and it may or may not be long, depending on how people like it.

Do Not Own Characters.

**Expecting**

**Chapter One: 4 Weeks**

It had been a decade since the development of an artificial uterus, and male DNA created in a tiny little egg and it had been 8 years since the successful pregnancy and delivery of a healthy baby boy named Adam Steven Cass to two DNA sharing fathers. And with that, it had been 5 years since the rise of Domestic same-sex unionship and for the first time, some willing men, in place of their wives, were carrying. On time, it had been 2 years since I considered the idea of creating my own with the one I loved and as of 4 weeks ago, I did.

It has been 24 hours since my partner left me and at the age of 23, barely out of college, with the desire to be a stay-at-home father and perhaps live a somewhat similiar life to that of my own mother, I was left in our new apartment, with the master bedroom and the tiny closet room we reserved for our child.

I still felt ill from the insemination and I knew a bit of my ailes had something to do with the knowing that although everything he ever possesed was out of our home, there was something else he was missing - essential to him.

I went to our appointments as planned, checking up with my health and going over the books and brochures about my changing body - about the breasts I didn't have to milk a child or how constant back pains and swollen ankles were common. The A.I.S asked about him, where he was and when he was ever going to accompany me. I made up lies, covering for him. He was my age when men first had reproductive organs grown for them, and now he was 'on travels', although it was clear that I knew what he was really on travels for.

By the end of my 30th day, I was attending my first Expecting class. It was a requirement for me as a carrying parent. As explained by the A.I.S before conception, I was to attend a 9 month program with other expecting and veteren parents. It was network that shared stories, fear and pretty much anything involving that that was growing inside of us. They were all beautiful women, rosy cheeked and tearing with joy about the lives they were bringing to the world. One fairly calmer woman sat next to me in our circle. Her hair was a pleasant length, brown and flowed onto her shoulders. She turned her chocolate brown eyes to me and her eyes crinkled as she smiled.

"How far along are you?" She asked. It was my first time hearing her speak. Her voice, although not much louder than a whisper, was clear and audible. She kept our conversation amongst us as the women debated on food choices and how it applies to gender determination.

"4 weeks." I answered. It was my first time speaking in the group as well.

Her head tilted and she considered my words for a second, "The doctors are much more heralding with you, aren't they?" She asked with a smile.

"They are." I wasn't sure if she wanted me to go into detail. Many pregnant women found this as an atrocity.

"My best friend knows a couple in Orange County undergoing the same thing. They're about 30 weeks in." She offered, probably sensing my hesitation.

"I never met anyone who's-" I wanted to finish, but admitting that made me feel empty. He knew a couple, he worked closely with them for years. They already had a little girl with sandy brown hair like the dad that carried her and blue eyes like her other father. I never met them though.

"Me either," She answered thoughtfully, "It's really hard to pass for the tests. You have to be healthy, financially stable, emotionally stable," She went on, "How are you handling all the tests and hormones."

I could sense the genuine curiosity in her tone. It made me feel a bit more comfortable to share what I had to undergo, "It gets tough sometimes." I admitted, "I have to sort out the medication with one of those day sorters. You know, the one everyone's grandparent's use?" She giggled and that caught the attention of the mothers in the room. The Head Counselor's eyes rested on mine.

"Jasper is it?" She spoke softly, offering me a maternal smile, "Sweetheart, is there anything you want to talk about?"

I hesitated, locking eyes with her before glancing at the girl on my right, "It's okay, Jasper." She spoke my name as if it was of significance to her, "Esme is good help." My eyes were back with the older woman with kind eyes and I opened up, more so than I ever would have expected to that day.

* * *

The air was damp and heavy, but more liberating than it was before entering the building. The hour long session went by so quickly after the floor was opened up for me. In the short time that I had to talk, I finally admitted being left, being jobless and fearful of the unknown. I admitted that without my partner, I didn't see myself fit to be a parent. With professional care, Esme, along with the other women explained that what I was experiencing was similiar to that of many young single women.

_Single mothers._

Was I the first single, pregnant father?

The brunette met me outside, clutching a small purse that she had tucked under her arm. She waved an arm wildly to me as if trying to catch my attention, "Hey!" She yelled out, small puffs of air gathered before her face.

"I was waiting for you." I called to her, "I want to thank you for getting me to open up."

She caught up with me, stopping just feet away from the parking lot, "Oh, but I didn't do that. You did." She shook her head, "Oh! I'm Bella, by the way."

I didn't even have to decency to ask. I shook my head, surprised at my rudeness, "Sorry for not introducing myself. I'm Jasper Whitlock." I took her small hands in mine and we shook.

"No need to be formal. This is a meeting for peers. Esme has been a big help these last few months. Me and my husband have been trying for a year now. She was good support."

"Congradulations." She beemed at the support.

"And congrats to you too, Jasper." She smiled sweetly, "You're such a gentle person; being aware of what's going on, having priorities and fears. It's part of being responsible for a life."

We began a slow pace to where I assumed her car was, "And how far along are you?"

Her eyes shun and she turned to me, "I just entered my second trimester last week." A hand floated over her stomach as she spoke the words, "Ever since then, my husband has been attempting to take care of me like a damn princess. He was adament about giving me a ride here, but I'm still capable of driving." She ranted, feigning annoyance with a small blush in her cheeks.

"Sounds like he cares a lot about you." I couldn't hide the yearning that gave me.

"He's always been the chaser." She said more to herself than to me, but I was surprised to catch her brown irises staring intently at me, "Jasper, sometimes things happen at pivotal points in our lives leaving us weaker and more vulnerable than we have ever been before. And then, when we least expect it, something greater than what we had, comes along," That hand now rested comfortably on the small bulge on her abdomen, "I know it sounds like something from a fairy tale, but your miracle is right around the corner." She spoke, and with that, she rested her other hand on my flattened stomach, where something miraculous was indeed forming to be.

* * *

**AN**: I know I left some people's names out. I know what I'm doing with Edward, Jasper and Bella. And I even have Alice in the picture, but I'm still a bit unsure where to place other characters. Tell me what you think.


	2. Six Weeks

**Author's Notes: **I wrote a few chapters ahead, so I decided to throw this one out early, so readers can become more comfortable with the story. I will eventually go into the science of how Jasper became pregnant and what he has to go through physically – which is different from women, obviously- and how active such a proccess is. I honestly don't see this as a "mpreg" storty, considering how different it might be from most, but it does have a pregnant male...so...

Jasper's ex, although important to his current state, won't be seen until way later in the story and no, Edward isn't the ex and there will not be any "marriage" triangles. It's strictly a JasperxEdward story, although there will be another couple. And I'll leave that as a surprise.

Do Not Own Characters.

**Chapter Two: 6 Weeks**

Expecting class was becoming my second home. In just the three hours I shared with the 5 women, I felt a connection that I wasn't sure I'd ever feel even with a man in life. I looked forward to the next Wednesday and every week I wasn't disappointed. By the third week there, we had already set-up a few outside gatherings. Tanya, a first time mother was being blessed with a baby shower by the girls and Esme had plans of throwing a special party, but she was unclear as to what it was for. I got to hear a bit about their life and how they were handling motherhood, all except a petite, small girl who I had come to know as Esme's daughter Alice. At first, I assumed she was in the early stages of pregnancy, but after swapping a few stories, there was no hint of a husband, boyfriend or even a child. Eventually, she came out stating she was attending the meeting for moral support for the blonde woman who always sat beside her. She was a tall, beautiful blonde with an hourglass figure, yet I could already see the works of motherhood showing on her body. She spoke with a forced politeness, but it was clear she didn't want to be there and the only reason was the pixie-like brunette who carried herself with enough enthusiasm to make my head spin.

We had left the building that Wednesday to a clearer day than the days before. I was beginning to enjoy February in LA - so rainy and cool. Bella stepped outside next to me, donning a shawl that reminded me too much of an older woman. She was stepping very comfortably in the mother role.

"I guess its not going to rain tonight." She said lightly, juggling a set of keys in her hands.

"I was hoping it was going to." I commented, staring up at the grey sky, "At home, rain looks great, especially when I'm overlooking the valley."

"Where do you live?"

I sighed, "El Segundo." It was a perfect place to raise kids. That was the reason why we moved there.

"Oh," Bella smiled smally, "Esme's son lives there too."

I was pleasantly surprised, "I thought Alice was her only child." I smiled, thinking about a male version of the little pixie, "How does Esme function?"

Bella laughed and shook her head, "Edward's nothing like Alice - the opposite perhaps. He keeps more to himself and gives people space."

"You know so much about him." I didn't mean for the comment to come out as it did, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Of course. He's my best friend." And with that, it all clicked. The reason she came to these meetings, her sureness about Esme helping me my first day there. She was closer to these people than she let off.

"Is that how you met his mother?"

"Well, I knew his mother before she did any Expecting Care. She was my marriage counselor."

"Really?" I never would have imagined Bella needing counseling, "But you and your husband...."

"Oh no, no!" She waved her hand frantically, chuckling, "My first husband."

I felt my eyes bug. Bella didn't look any older than 25. how could she have been married twice, "I wouldn't have ever thought..."

"I know, I know." She sighed, "I got married at a very young age, right after high school actually. And by 21, we were having big problems. I met Esme after a debauchal and we have been close ever since."

"How did you meet her son?"

She laughed, "A few months after my divorce, I was discussing with Esme how I was looking to date again and she set up a date with me and Edward." She shook her head, "It ended horribly, but we became friends from there." Her cheeks puffed out before she loudly blew out air from her lips, "Whoa, a flashback through times. I forget that version of me, you know? It's like another world now with me and Mike." I couldn't help feeling a bit giddy. This was the first time she said her husband's name. She always referred to him, but shared very little, even in the meetings.

"I didn't mean to push about anything. I was just curious."

"Don't worry about it, Jasper." She waved a hand, "It feels good knowing I can talk about this." Her head suddenly snapped up and she was pressing her fingers onto my forearm, "Hey, do you want to get dinner? Mike is hosting poker game at home, so I figured I'd go to the cafe a few blocks from here. You can join me if you want." Her eyes searched mine in earnest and I couldn't deny the invitation. It was uplifting, fitting in so easily with Bella and it felt even better knowing that she wanted my company.

We each took our cars to the Shore Cafe, which was just a block or two from the beach, not far from my apartment. Once there, we found a comfortable spot in the back, ordering two caesar salads and lemon water. We talked over our food in the small, crowded restaurant. Bella better elaborated on her relationship with Esme and the family. They were originally from Seattle where Esme's husband had a successful carrer as a doctor, but eventually Esme was offered a project in LA helping victimized children of gangwars. It was something she was so serious about, taking trips out to California, staying for weeks before coming back home. Eventually Esme's husband surprised her with a transfer to a hospital in Hollywood, uprooting the family to Southern California. Bella went over how easily the family fit in, the son Edward took a liking to music and Alice became fascinated with fashion and Hollywood entertainment.

Bella rested her fork on an empty plate, "Now Edward does the score for that show Stolen Lives and occasionally for a rew era movies."

I gaped at her, "Stolen Lives?" I knew the show all too well, "I was obsessed with that show when I lived in Montgomery." It had to be in its sixth or seventh season if I was 23 and it was still airing.

"You're from Alabama?" Bella asked, "I thought I heard that twang." She teased.

"I thought I got rid of it." I sighed. I really didn't like being associated with my home anymore than I'm sure Bella liked being associated with her first husband.

"Do your parents still live there?" She asked, taking a quick sip from her water.

"I wouldn't know." I tried my best to shrug the topic off.

She frowned, "You don't speak to them?"

"No."

There was a moment of silence. I was fearful that I might have scared her off from talking. I wanted to talk, it was what I needed most these last weeks, but not about my parents and not about him. She surprised me when her fork clattered against the plate, "Edward was like that too."

I frowned, not getting what she meant, "What?" I thought that maybe I hadn't heard her correctly.

"After the whole date disaster we began talking. He didn't really speak much to his parents and he was extremely annoyed with Alice. It was hard bringing up Esme even when I innocently spoke about appointments I had with her. He was so bitter and I never understood why."

"Did you eventually find out?"

"Yeah, I did." She shrugged, "But that doesn't matter. What matters Jasper is that you're going to be a father yourself. And no matter what you may think your parents believe or how they treated you, you must come to terms with who you are and what they may have done to you. Don't pass this on to your child." I stared back at her, unsure what to say for the moment.

"Esme really must rub off on you." I commented.

She snorted, then in shock slapped her face, "Well," She blushed, still getting over her physical response, "I learned a lot of things about family from the Cullens more so than my own family."

I silently took her words to heart. I left home at the age of 17, with little money and no support because I was scared. It wasn't until 18 that I had finally contacted home, but by then, they had already known what I was. I couldn't stomach the rejection, so I completely ceased contact. I thought about Edward and what may have went through his mind when he isolated himself from his family. Did they eventually work through their differences? I was curious to know. Through time and relationship building, would I have the chance to ask Esme - or perhaps Edward?

**AN:** How is it coming out so far for you? Bad, good? Let me know. There's still time for me to work on the bulk of the story if I get any input now.


	3. Seven Weeks Part 1

**Author's Notes: **I know my chapters are tormentingly short, hence for the daily update, but the as the story gets more momentum, the chapters will be decent sized – just not as long as my previous stories. All questions you have – and they are good ones – will be answered, but in due time. Edward's history, Jasper's history, Bella's history, everything. I'm happy that people are a little curious.

Do Not Own Characters

* * *

**Chapter Three: 7 Weeks** **I**

"Did Esme say what the party was for?" It felt odd being out of the house on Thursday. I spent those days usually at home. It was the only day I had off my unofficial job and I usually took that time to sleep in and read tutorial books on Male pregnancies and parenting. In the last two months, my time revolved around this being's life and how I was going to squeeze him/her in my own. I was becoming fearful about how I was going to take care of an infant with a job that wasn't exactly real and so little money. The money I had saved over the years were diminishing without another partner to help take care of bills.

"No, but she's treating it as a big dinner." She kept her eyes on the road, carefully following the sharp turns up the mountain, "I'm thinking its a dinner for Edward. He called saying he was invited last night. It may be about the movie he was offered to compose for."

"What movie?"

Bella winked, "Stephen Spielberg." She squealed out a giggle.

I stared at her wide-eyed, "He must be really good."

"John Williams good." She turned the car off onto a gated drive-way, "Well, he did win an award last year. It was coming sooner or later, right?"

"I had no idea he was so successful." The more Bella spoke about him, the more interested I was becoming. If there was any reason why my interest was peaked, it had a lot to do with what I did see with the Cullen family. We pulled up to the wooden gate at the end of the drive-way.

"Oh, we have to beep the intercom for them to let us in." She pointed to a small panel on the tall wall closing in on the gate.

"I'll get it." before she could argue, I unbuckled, letting myself out. My foot crunched on pine twigs as I walked around the car to the panel. I pressed a round button with the bold label of "Call" and waited for a response. There was a loud click before I heard a male voice speaking to me from a speaker on the wall.

"Hello?" His voice was alluring even through the slight crackling through the transmission.

I stared at the speaker, not sure if I was supposed to speak into it, "Um, it's Jasper and Bella." I spoke loudly, hoping I could be heard.

I heard a faint chuckle before the male responded, "Jasper," He said my name so smoothly, I thought maybe for a minute we already knew each other, "Step back. I'm going to open the gate." I followed his orders, taking big steps towards the car. I was surprised to see the gates open inward. Why'd he tell me to step back? I got in the car and Bella inched us forward, taking in where she should park. I let out an audible gasp as I saw the massive Manor before me, big and white, mirroring that of the plantation houses back home. The front yard wasn't large, but the drive-way was expansive, arching around the yard, passing the front door where a train of other vehicles were. Bella parked behind a silver Volvo and we both got out. the front door was held open by Esme as she waited with open arms and light kisses to our cheek.

"Making an entrance, I see." Esme said in her soft voice, "I don't know whether to think that everyone else was too early or you two are fashionably late."

"So sorry, Esme." She apologized, "Mike was giving me trouble about carpooling pregnant." She rolled her eyes.

"Why isn't he here?" Esme scolded.

"Work, of course. I had to beg him to go, he was being stubborn about driving me."

Esme giggled, "Carlisle was the same way when I was pregnant with Edward." My ears perked up at the name, "Speaking of the devil, here he comes." I was expecting a young man to appear, but instead a gentleman around the age of Esme walked from down the hall, smiling graciously our way.

"Honey, our guests shouldn't stand on their feet so long." He said in a professional tone.

Esme shook her head, "See what I mean," She pecked his cheek affectionately, "Sweetie, this is Jasper Whitlock, the young man you were so intent on meeting." I found that an interesting thing for her to say, but I didn't question it, only taking Carlisle's hand as he extended it and mumbling a hello. I did catch, however, the pointed look he gave her. She waved him off with a laugh. I wasn't sure how to compose myself around him. He, in no way, seemed uptight or stiff. In fact, I felt a rather relaxing blanket of comfort from him, but these days, I was so on edge with men, I couldn't trust my natural instincts anymore.

"Jasper, why don't you join us in the family room," He offered, "Some of the ladies took to helping in the kitchen, if you'd like to join them."

I couldn't stomach the sight of food at the moment. Morning sickness was common with women during pregnancies and it was the same for me as well, only my reaction was to the vitamins and medication I was taking for the baby. My doses were to decrease after my second trimester.

"The family room is fine." I assured. Carlisle nodded and surprised me with a hand to the small of my back. Esme wasn't kidding about the coddling. I caught an exchanged look between the two women before smiles broke out on their faces.

"We'll be in the kitchen, sweetheart." Esme directed this to me, "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." I watched as they made their way to the back of the house where a series of chattering voices, clattering plates and laughter was drifting from.

"Jasper, excuse me if I'm getting too personal," Carlisle started as we made a sharp right to the an open room with two very expensive looking sofas and a crackling fireplace. I was a bit intimidated by the look of the room. It was a model example of upper class living, yet I felt myself easing in the atmosphere, "You're undergoing nausea at this state of the pregnancy?"

"Yes." I answered, unsure where he was going with the question. he gestured for me to take a sit. I hesitated for a moment, before planting myself on the nearest sofa.

"From the medication?" He added. I watched as his face calculated something. He was piecing things together. Of what, I wasn't sure of.

"Yes." I repeated. I couldn't say I was uncomfortable, but I was haunted with an anxiety, seeing his face set in concentrated concern.

"Okay." He nodded, "I'm sorry if I'm making you feel uneasy. I'm a doctor and I'm completely taken with the quick pace science has been moving the last decade. Unfortunately, because of my title, I'm not able to participate in some of the biggest progressions in male pregnancies. I want to know if you're put at any inconvenience." He said the last words slowly.

"I-I'm fine." I wasn't, but if it made him better to hear it, I wouldn't mind lying.

"Dad," Our conversation was cut short by a voice I was sure I heard before, "Mom needs help, sorting out the tables out back." My eyes followed the voice and fell on a rather beautiful looking young man, with soft green eyes like his mother and the stance of a professional like his father, yet he looked so different from them. His air shone a light auborn color, and his lips formed into a red heart, seperating only so a pink tongue ran along his bottom lip. I held my breath, not sure what to do, look away, pretend I didn't notice him or perhaps say hi.

"Ah," Carlisle said with a knowing sigh, "I'll get out there, before any of the ladies consider lifting anything in their condition." He casted his eyes to me, "Will you be alright here Jasper."

Before I could answer, Edward spoke first, "I'll keep him company." I gawked in his direction, clearly not able to digest what he just said. If his father knew that I was carrying, then he must know too, right? Alice _was_ his sister and I'm sure he heard it at some point. Carlisle seemed comfortable with that and excused himself from the room. Edward, with ease radiating off of him, began speaking to me, "In all honesty, my mother was a bit concerned that my father would start examining you like a patient. She sent me in here to let you off the hook."

"He wasn't..." I stammered, not clear what I should say. I wasn't scared of his father or anything, just concerned on how he viewed my situation, "I just didn't know if he was comfortable." I finished lamely. Edward examined me with the same concern his father had and I suddenly felt like a child. Did I look fragile and unmasculine to them. Did I look weak? I bit back an excuse to get up and leave the room. Men jarred me too much, too often.

"On you being pregnant?" Edward asked, "Or gay?" He said the words with so much nonchalance, I didn't know what to think. He was comfortable with it?

"Both?"

He nodded at my answer and in slow strides, came over to the sofa I was seated in and planted himself a safe distance away from me, "My dad just expressed concern for your well-being. If there is anything he thinks bitterly about your situation, it's how the A.I.S treats those willing to undergo the tedious examinations and tests to get this done."

I bit my lips, looking away, "Oh."

"And his views on your orientation. Well," I looked up just in time to see a smirk cross his face, "I came out twice to my parents. First to say that I was dating this completely beautiful Quarterback for USC and second, admitting I had no desires to become a doctor, but rather a musician. I went on for the longest time thinking he was angry about my boyfriend, but I came to learn that he was completely hurt that I wasn't following in his footsteps."

I took in his words, feeling my heart hammer in my chest. he didn't just say he was...? Is this what Bella meant as a disaster date? She found out he was into men? This beautiful, successful man that I heard nothing but good things about? He sat so relaxed beside me, sitting up only to catch the look that must have been clear on my face; shock.

"Wait a minute," he chuckled, raising a hand as if to stop something, "No one told you I was gay?"

**AN: **The identity of the absent father will be revealed next chapter. Stay tuned. And tell me what you think of this chapter!


	4. Seven Weeks Part 2

**Author's Notes: **I decided not to be a turd and merged two chapters that were just _too_ short. I'll try to keep these a bit longer. Every once in awhile a shorter one will be thrown out. There will be some weeks that aren't as eventful as they others (which is will be _very_ eventful). I give a HUGE thanks to those that don't really care for mpregger fics and is giving mines a chance. I really appreciat it. This sub-group of the slash universe gets little positive light.

I Do Not Own Characters

* * *

**Chapter Four: 7 Weeks II**

Why would such a thing be so surprising to me? It wasn't like I hadn't met gay men before. But I knew why this struck me as a bit uneasing. I hadn't been in the presence of a gay man since James. Granted, it hadn't been a month, but 30 days was enough to feel the absence of men.

Without knowing what I was doing, I was on my feet, scared, but I wasn't sure why.

"Jasper?" Edward's green eyes softened and I couldn't look anymore, "Shit." I heard him utter. I wasn't sure why he was upset, but I wasn't going to stay and find out. I turned on my heels, hoping to make it to the door, just to get out of the suffocating warmth of the house and the happy ringing laughter of women. I wasn't sure why I was there exactly or why that was physically taking a toll on me. I felt my body sway towards the wall before I fell into warmth.

"Jasper, can you hear me?" I heard his frantic whispers.

"I'm fine, just sick." I gulped down the rising bile in my throat and took in shaky breaths. The sickness could be pretty intense when I overexerted myself.

"Shit," I heard him say again, "Mom! Dad!" He called out. I heard a shuffle of footsteps and the gasps of women. I did my best to stand up, but Edward kept me leaned against him, "Don't move, okay?"

"What happened?" I felt Esme's hand to my forehead, "Honey, do you feel faint?"

"Nausea. I have nausea." I mumbled.

"Okay, let's get you back into the room." I heard the familiar deep voice of Carlisle, "You need to lay down for a while and drink some liquids."

I wanted to scream and fight. I didn't want to lay down in that room and I didn't want them to think I was weak. They expected me to crack like glass and I did, now I would be under everyone's eye. That wasn't what I was here for.

"Mom," I heard Edward hiss behind me as I was guided back to the couch, "You're right." I tried to follow the conversation, but the voices died down as I was settled on my back.

"Jasper!" Bella whispered, overlooking my body on the couch, "Did you get sick again?"

"Just a little."

"I'm so sorry that happened." I felt her fingers combing through the dampness of my hair. I was shaking and sweating like I had a strong fever, "I can take you home."

"No. I'm not going to ruin your day out."

She snorted, "We do these events all the time." She was quiet, stroking my hair, humming to herself until Carlisle came back in the room with a cup of water.

"Drink this for me, Jasper," He handed the cup to Bella, "We don't have Ginger Ale, so I'll head out to the supermarket-"

"No!" I exclaimed, shaking me head, "Water is fine." Carlisle watched me closley before standing up.

He turned to Bella, "If anything happens, let me know." She nodded and he left the room, giving us a moment. I sat up a bit, taking the water from Bella's hands and drinking it down, hoping that would do some good. I didn't want anymore attention on me. When I was done, Bella took the cup, placing it on the end table before continuing petting me.

"Can I tell you something?" I whispered softly.

"Hmm?" She answered, ceasing her actions, waiting for me to continue.

"It was more than nausea." She frowned, but didn't say anything, "I thought of James."

"Is that his name?" Bella asked, already knowing who I was talking about. I nodded.

"I refused thinking about that name, until now."

"What made you?"

"Edward." I spoke his name softly. Bella's mouth formed into a little 'O'.

"What happened, Jasper?"

"I felt..." My cheeks were heated in a blush, "attracted to him."

"That's okay, honey." She assured, "He's not unattractive."

"But, I feel so scared around men. I know that James left me because the thought of me carrying his child was disgusting. He couldn't stomach it." I started, feeling my stomach churn, "And with Carlisle talking about my condition and Edward telling me he was gay, I felt like my head was going to spin. I don't want another gay man to look at me like that anymore."

A look of understanding dawned on Bella's face, "Edward told you he was gay?" I nodded, "He doesn't openly speak about that to anyone, even to those who are most comfortable with it. That's a bit out of character for him. He must be very comfortable with you. " Bella gave me a kind smile, "He knows about your situation and although he is curious like the rest of us, he isn't put off. He would've turned down the invite for the dinner tonight if it bothered him so much. Especially considering that this night is about you anyway..." She bit her lip and looked away and giggled out a silent, "oops."

"Wait, what do you mean?" I sat up, giving her a testy look. I thought she didn't know what this was about.

"Well, Alice told me what this dinner was for when I was helping them in the kitchen. I'm not going to ruin it or anything. You need to hear it from Esme."

After about 15 minutes, I was able to sit up. Esme and Carlisle had taken to moving the dinner outside, considering how breezy and nice the weather was. Fresh air was exactly what I needed, even if I wasn't hungry. I was surprised to not hear much from Alice until I was feeling better.

"Hey Jazzy!" She welcomed me heartily, "Sorry I didn't greet you at the door, I had to cook _everything_." She said with a roll of her eyes. I couldn't help but notice how different the green eyes looked on her. Like shining emerald orbs contained in an unruly ball of energy. No matter what was going on around her, she always look fit to bust out in an exubarence of excitement.

"Don't get ahead of yourself." I was surprised to see the blonde speak beside her. She was setting the wooden patio tables silently until that moment. Her blonde hair, healthy and long, twirled and fell into light waves over her shoulders. I could see the little bump under the mound of swelling breasts as she took a much needed seat by Alice. She looked tired and annoyed.

"Well, Rose helped a bit." Alice gave in.

"Oh, and I didn't handle the pie and asparagus?" Tanya called from the french doors leading to the kitchen.

"Oh, if you want to split hairs!" Alice narrowed her eyes, but didn't turn her head to face Tanya.

"And let's not forget the fantastic mashed potatoes I concocted." Bella chipped in, sitting at the patio table across from Alice. She squinted up at Alice, a smirk on her face when Alice let out a huff of defeat.

"Yes, but who made the drinks and salad and lets not forget about the roast and-" she counted on her fingers, losing herself in what she assembled for the dinner. The sun shone dully over her shoulders, the huge blue umbrellas over the patio chairs, having no affect in protecting us from its rays. It felt new and odd sitting outside about to witness a rather typical gathering for these people. They seemed so relaxed with one another, trading jokes and light comments about family and history. And yet, from what Bella told me, this day had something to do with me? Was it an recruitment of some kind, or did they need me for something? It didn't seem like they had any pets. Being a house and pet sitter was really all I was used for these recent weeks. It was the only income I could temporarily require, because of my intense regimen with medicine and weekly visits to counseling and A.I.S office. I should have been use to big homes at this point, but there was something about LA and its aura that kept me baffled whenever I stepped in a Beverly Hills home or walked through a neighborhood with a small, yipping pup, chasing its own tail. Now there was a thing I couldn't understand - small dogs in Hollywood. I chuckled to myself, catering such a thought. I had forgotten Alice was talking to me. Apperently so did she and everyone else. the food was already assorted on three patio tables and everyone was digging in, laughing jovially.

"Jasper, honey," Esme was standing by my shoulders, a pitcher in hand, "Want some iced tea." My stomach churned at the idea of its contents. I politely declined. She gave me a gentle smile before moving on to the blonde Rosalie and then Bella. I took a chance to glance around, targeting where everyone sat. I saw no signs of Edward. I frowned, pulling up the last moments I saw him. He said something to his mother. Something about her being right. What was _that_ about? I tried to push the curiosity from my mind and contined to watch silently as the talking commenced. Every now and then, I was brought into a conversation or Bella and Alice would turn to me with a "Right, Jasper?" or Bella would reach over, taking my hand in hers to give it a squeeze. The dinner went on, until pie was served. By then, the sun was pass the hills and there was only a brownish, red glow across the sky.

The talking, although comforting, was bringing back that anxiety I once felt inside. I had a sudden compulsion to be alone, I made to get up, but was interupted when Esme cleared her throat from the french doors. The noise outside finally died down as eyes rested on her.

"I'd just like to say that over the years, I've been blessed with an ever-growing family and it's only getting bigger." She smiled proudly, eying Tanya, Rosalie and finally casting her eyes on me. I blinked in surprise, "Tanya called me this morning in such excitement, saying she is going to be giving birth to a baby girl." The air was filled with a collective cooing of women, "I know how much you wanted a little girl, but I must tell you, dear," and with this, she eyed Alice, "They are a lot of work." Alice smugly smiled in her mother's direction.

"Soon enough, Rose and Bella will be adding to our family and it's so special holding your hand as you take this journey," Even in the small glow of the night, I could make out her teary green eyes. Her hair whipped around her wildly and she tugged a strand behind her ear, "Tonight is about our family growing and-" Her eyes rested on mines again, "as we all know, our worlds changed, when a young, pretty blonde stepped into my office just 4 weeks ago, asking to be a part of it." The panic in my chest died, noticing the change of air in the room. Every feeling felt so tangible, like I was capable of holding it and rubbing it in me, so I could have that comfort with me wherever I went. _Family._ She called these women her family, because she was a part of their lives, everything that they went through, they told her, told all of us with no shame of consequence. and although, I never exposed everything about myself, talking to Esme, to Bella, to this family felt easy. And that, I didn't know how to handle. But I couldn't deny that it affected me in a very powerful way.

"Jasper, we're all here, even if we know very little about you, I just want to let you know,that you have people here that are willing to always lend an ear, a hand or a heart for you." She lifted her tall, thin glass of iced tea and everyone mirrored her actions. Bella's hand was across the table on my own again and Alice jumped from her spot to pull me in for a hug.

"Oh!" She squealed, "Now I can coddle you anyway I want and there's nothing you can do about it, Jazzy!

_____

Half of the party was back inside, relaxing by the fireplace, playing some game I couldn't make out from the kitchen. The mood of the evening was different from the mood of the day. It was child-like and loud, Alice, of course, playing as a prime ringleader for the madness. Rosalie, and Bella quietly chattered outside, yet I still could not find Edward. Did I scare him off? Was he hiding from me? He kept floating back into my mind like a hazy dream, filling my head with thoughts of jade green and red, circling around my skull like a halo. I wanted to speak with him. I trailed away from the noisy room, walking through the living room, until I was back in the hall again. I glanced up the staircase, feeling a sudden rush of curiosity strike me for the second time that evening. I took careful steps up, pausing only when I was at the landing. There were two directions to go ; straight and right. I wasn't sure which to take.

My mind was made up when I heard a smooth, melodic tune from my right. I turned, following the noise and the music picked up in pace, transitioning through emotions almost in a mind-numbing manner. It mirrored my emotions accurately, almost convincing me the musical soundtrack was for my ears alone. I listened, taking slow steps towards the sound. It eventually slowed once again to a near standstill, before picking up in sound and emotion again. It was like an endless torrent of waves and calms before storms. I was now by the door, where the music emitted from. My fingers hovered over the doorknob as I considered what was behind it.

But two things happened.

The music stopped.

And I heard someone call my name.

"Jasper?" I looked over my shoulder, catching a blur of blonde hair, before taking a step back, "You alright?"

"Fine, I-" I didn't know how to explain my actions. I clearly was guilty for sneaking upstairs.

"If you wanted a tour, you could have asked either one of us downstairs. We're never too busy to show you around." He spoke gently.

I felt relief, knowing I was off the hook, "You just looked to be enjoying yourselves." The comment made him smile.

"Jasper," he started, "This day is about you for more reasons than one."

"What do you mean?"

His expression looked troubled, but he spoke in a very gentle tone, "The girls have expressed concern about you. I know you're a very capable, young man, but they fear that you're handling your sitation alone. Are they right to suspect this?" He asked. There was an edge of Doctor in his tone.

"I-I'm okay." I said, meakly.

"Jasper, I know that Alice and Esme may suffocate your space a bit in the meetings. They're trying to keep out of your matters, in fact Bella has been your guard these last weeks." He rested a hand on my shoulder, "Esme is working in a different capacity as a counselor. She can be a personal guide, unlike the role of being strictly your shrink. So she'll take advantage."

"What do you mean?"

There was a moment of silence as he opened his mouth to speak. He seemed to reconsider something before saying, "Do you have any means of supporting your child after birth?"

"I-" I felt cornered with the question, "Carlisle, what does that have to do with anyone, but me?"

"I know this is a difficult time for you, Jasper. I know you were a victim of circumstance. But what Esme said downstairs holds true. We consider you family here and we can help."

"I don't need help." I shook my head, getting the picture. My thoughts were clouded. I couldn't be seen weak, not when that was the moment to be the strongest. I had to be strong for what was growing in me. And accepting their help was the first mistake. I just couldn't accept it.

"Bella said you would say that," He nodded, "So this is where I come in." His body language changed as he erected himself into a more formal posture, "I'm sure you know the history works of the Scientists performing the procedures on you. And I'm sure you're aware of the battles in the White House over the laws of what to do with male pregnancy and its carrier. Jasper, I have been interested in the well-being of A.I.S patients for years. What I'm going to ask of you is simple. I understand they document your vitals, weight, moods and other changes in you each week. Would it be alright, if I document the same things as well?"

I stared back at him, unable to answer for a moment, "I don't see why not..."

"And Esme will continue her job in guiding your through your pregnancy, but can she also keep track of your emotional and mental stability?"

"Why would she need to do this?"

Carlisle gave me a grim smile, "I believe that sometimes the scientists that helps you through these procedures, I believe they may forget that they are handling human beings. Sometimes your comfort and health may come as second priority to their selective experiments."

I felt the rising panic in my chest again. I would have never thought my A.I.S Doctor would have lack of care for my health. She was a patient, kind woman.

"Jasper," A hand was on my back, "We won't let anything happen to you." I inhaled deeply. I had very little of a trust support to begin with. Other than the girls at Expecting Care, I had a A.I.S Doctor who treated me and checked up on my body every week. I had known her for over a year. We had to go through a long process of extractions of my DNA, building the A.U out of my cells which would eventually be in me as I carried my child. She gave me the hormones and the medication that helped speed the proccess of blood created for nurturing my child. She knew James, they talked as he held my hand and occasionally lost themselves in the science of every test they tried on me. He knew everything about what was going on in my body, and I had no clue, so when he left, my Doctor became my only link to my transition.

"Whomever is handling your situation right now is doing a fantastic job," Carlisle spoke, "But my problem is not with that scientist, just the ones in charge and telling yours how to do his or her job."

"Okay." I nodded, "I get it."

"And," He didn't seem to want to say the last bit, but he spoke, "We'll compensate for the inconvienance of your time."

"Compensate?"

"We'll take care of you."

"I can't let you-"

"Jasper, I know you want to be able to take care of your child without outside help. As a father, I get that. But you must come to terms of your condition. So many women are pregnant and single and it is hard enough for them, even with the laws that protect them. There are no laws that protect pregnant men. Not yet. You're going to have to sacrifice something for your child, no matter. Just please, let it be your pride. No one will think any less of you."

-

-

-

**AN: **I know it's pretty typical to have James as Jasper's ex, but don't assume he's all evil. Just a neglectful father. Hmm, guess that is a bit evil. Do you like where this is going so far? Pondering when more characters will meet Jasper? Like oh say...Emmett and Jacob? Tee hee.


	5. Nine Weeks

**Author's Notes:** Back with another chapter. Took a break to breathe, gather my thoughts on the story and write a one-shot. Now I'm back, continuing this and closing my other stories. Enjoy!

I Do Not Own Characters.

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**Chapter Five: 9 Weeks**

It took a week to make my decision. Every Tuesday, Carlisle was to check up on me and my health. Depending on his work schedule, I was to meet him at home or he was to come to me. It was to start my tenth week into my pregnancy. I didn't know what to expect. And yet, his timing was perfect. That same week I accepted Carlisle's offer, I began a new stream of what the scientists like to call "vitamin doses". It left me a bit dizzy when I walked the dogs and eventually I had to call the owners, claiming I was under an ugly flu and didn't want to contaminate their households. If there was one thing I learned about taking care of people's dogs, be sure to mention they or their animals were at risk of something and they'd let you off the hook. I'm sure little dogs never caught colds, but it didn't seem to be the case with my employers. By that Friday, I was in an out of a stream of dead sleeps. I'd wake up for an hour, eat and pass out for another 8 hours. This continued for what seemed like only a day or two. I had lost track of time and place, only bathing when I thought about it, taking my vitamins everytime I noticed it was night again. My A.I.S explained to me that the vitamins were to regulate my sleeping patterns to that of a pregnant woman in her first trimester. I hadn't had time to recall, but from what I remembered, women functionrg fine when they were carrying children.

I woke up suddenly in my darkened room to heavy banging. The noise was like a hallow thud in my ears, echoing off the walls of my skull. I sat up in my bed. My body was bare with the exception of my loose pajama bottoms. I stood on my feet, catching myself when I almost tipped over. My eyes hurt and they felt heavy even after the marathon sleep. I turned on my hall light, tripping down the short narrow space to the door where the sound seemed to originate from. I had no idea who'd be at my door. Bella had only been over once, picking me up to carpool over to the Cullens. But she didn't seem the type to invite herself over.

Maybe it was a neighbor? Although, I couldn't see why I would need to be contacted. I opened the door and blinked to adjust my eyes to the sight before me.

"Why- why are you-?" I couldn't digest what I was seeing. There stood Edward, bronze hair dishelved, green eyes wide in fear. I noticed that he had on sweats and a maroon USC t-shirt. I couldn't piece together what was going on.

"Jasper," He spoke and I took a step back, startled that he was real. I had to be dreaming, "Jasper!" He was more insistant on my response, even taking a step forward, "Damnit," He cursed under his breath, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "I was just sleeping."

"You didn't hear your phone?" I shook my head, "That must have been one hell of a sleep. Your phone has been ringing off the hook for the last day. I could hear it from out here." He lifted up a small device in his hand. It was a cellphone. How did he get my number? He read the confusion on my face, "Bella called saying that you didn't come to the meeting today. She's been trying to call you since yesterday. She says that after the weekend she lost contact with you."

"And she sent you over?" I felt anger flare in me knowing that she felt she needed me to be watched. I made to close the door, but his palm was already flat against it, keeping himself in sight.

"Jasper, I'm right down the street," He kept his hands on the door, not budging, "Everyone has been calling to check up on you. You're required to attend the meetings, so it is only natural that everyone began to worry when you didn't show up. The only option we had left, was to check."

I stared at him for a moment, piecing everything he said. _We?_ Was he worried about me as well? How could he be, we had barely met two weeks ago, but something else distracted me. It was _Wednesday_? "Oh my-" I gasped, "I've been sleeping that long?" I panicked. The last time I had spoken to Bella was the previous Friday. That meant I missed both my appointment at the A.I.S and the Expecting Care meeting. I had been sleeping for four days!

"Jasper?" Edward, "Fuck, are you okay?"

My breath hitched, "I just didn't know I-" If I missed the A.I.S appointment, there was a chance of jeoperdizing my child's health. My hand fell to my flat stomach, "My baby..."

"It's okay, it's okay," he held up a hand, "Can I come in? I won't hurt you or anything."

I frowned, "Of course you won't." Why would he say such a thing?

He stepped in, closing the door behind him, "I talked to my father before I came here. He said there was a chance that you may be a bit out of it because of the medication. If you've just recently changed any dosage or if they added anything to your cocktail, then there will be some symptoms. I'm guessing you're having a bit of disortientation and exhaustion." He didn't wait for an answer, "Can you show me where you keep your medication?" He asked. I nodded and backtracked to my room, turning on the lamp light, wincing as my room brightened for the first time in nearly a week. I walked over to my dressar, sorting through some papers before pulling out a folder.

"This is the new list of vitamins they have me on."

"Vitamins?" he repeated in a skeptic tone, "They call them vitamins?" He gingerly took the thin, sky blue folder from me and scanned through it, opening his cellphone simultanously, "I'm going to check in with my father and mother and let them know you're okay."

"Alright," I nodded and decided to step out of the room to give him some privacy. I sat on the narrow staircase leading up to the second landing of my apartment, chin in hands until he silently walked out of my room a minute or two later.

"Alright, everyone's updated on your situation." He stood a few feet from me, his posture restrained and his eyes guarded. There was something bothering him.

"What is it?" I asked. I knew he didn't want to answer. He looked too cautious for his own good, "I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown. Stop treating me like I'm glass."

"I don't want to, Jasper," He juggled his phone between both his hands, sighing in defeat, "I don't want you to worry about your child." He sat at my feet and continued, "My dad says that you need to cut some of the medication in half, namely the vitamins they had given you during your previous visit."

"Why?"

He shrugged lightly, "I'd know if I was a Doctor, sweetie." He said casually. I felt my cheeks warm at the name. He raked his hair in a jerky habit, biting the bottom of his lip in thought. He didn't look to be in a hurry to leave.

"Why was she right?"

"Hmm?"

I knew it seemed to come from nowhere, but I couldn't deny that through the small gaps of me being awake, I had entertained the curiosity, "When I - you told Esme that she was right. What was she right about?"

His features contorted into panic, "Jasper, maybe we shouldn't talk about this-"

"Not glass, remember?" I reminded.

My blush deepened at the crooked grin he gave me, "I know." He leaned his back against the wall as his hands fumbled with his phone, "Right before you arrived to my parents' house, my mother pulled me aside like a misbehaving child. She explained that you were in a special situation and that you're very guarded about your ex. She said that I should refuse bringing up...men."

"Men?"

"She didn't want us having a discussion about my orientation, which wouldn't have been a problem if you were anyone else, but it just...slipped out." He winced, "And you had this immediate reaction."

"I'm sorry if I put you through that." I felt embarassed, "It was my first time thinking his name since-" I felt my shoulders shudder and I clenched my jaw shut.

"I think I should be the one that's sorry," A liquid-like feeling trickled down my chest and to my toes when he held my hand in his own, "And I really am. I can't even grasp an understanding of what you may be feeling right now." There was something so sincere about him. I couldn't understand why this trait was so strong amongst the Cullens, "I don't want you to believe that Bella isn't your confidant, but I am hers. She was worried about the time you spend alone. You left your family, right?"

"Yes."

"Yeah," He gave a knowing nod, "You can trust a maternal instinct. She was acting out in your well being."

"I'm not exactly keeping that a secret." I couldn't keep my mind off of the skin contact. His hand felt so cool and soft. His thumb massaged my knuckle out of habit. It caused a rush of desire in my gut and that made me anxious. My hand began to shake. He noticed and with a with jerk, his hand was in his lap again, "I'm sorry. I'm kind of-"

"Scared of men?" My eyes widened at his accuracy, "My mom has a theory, but I can see that she is right. The way you stared at my dad when he first spoke to you. You wouldn't hold eye contact with him." He was silent for a moment, "You're not inadaquate as a male."

"What?"

"That's my mom's theory. You are fearful of men, gay men especially. You don't feel attractive, desired or adaquate," He watched my expression carefully, "I'm sorry if I'm overstepping my boundries here, but I really do believe you're not made of glass and you can handle what I'm telling you."

I thought over his words for a second, "She is right." He seemed relieved, "I've never been much of a boy keeper or getter for that matter and just when I thought I was getting a happy ending..." My throat tightened and I felt that pang against my chest. I hadn't cried once, I never had the time to. And it wasn't until the last few weeks or so that he crossed my mind. I felt so small and foolish believing that he'd stay, "I'm scared because I know what happens when a man looks at me." I kept my eyes low, so I wouldn't have to see the disgust or repulsion in his own.

"I don't think that," He whispered. I wanted to laugh. The absurdity of that comment. Nice try. I doubt it even sounded convincing to him, "And neither does my father."

He was doing it again, sparing me hurt feelings. "It's okay if you're honest. I'm capable of handling it, really." I looked up, meeting his eyes to let him know I was serious, "I'm not going to do anything dangerous or hurt myself just because I'm not man enough for anyone else, so you don't have to check up on me because your parents or Bella or Alice say so. I can handle myself. I'm fine."

"No, you're not and you're not supposed to do this alone, Jasper." His voice was still a whisper, barely anything. He must have trouble telling the truth.

My head spun in a whirl of frustration and anger, "Hold your breath, Edward," Maybe this whole 'family' thing was a bad idea, I thought to myself. If they were here out of pity and in order to rid their own personal guilt, I wasn't going to be pathetic and let them, "Tell your father that I change my mind. I don't need his assistence with the medication, I'm fine. My relationship with you and your family is strictly business, Edward."

He pleaded with guilty eyes, "Please reconsider," I stood, walking over him and straight to the door, "Whatever intentions you believe we have, please let it go. No one is here to hurt you." He followed me, knowing that his invitation was expired. I held the door open for him. For a second he stood next to me, thinking hard, trying to sway my decision, "Jasper..._fuck_." He uttered and with that, stepped out into the hallway.

"I don't want to have to see you again, Edward." I closed the door, shutting him and his family out of my life.

_____

That night was the second worst after James left. I tossed and turned, had another wave of nausea and although my body was heavy and dillusional with exhaustion, I fought it with the fear of waking up knowing I truly had no one. I'd have to figure out how to do this, even if that meant selling all that James put into the apartment and moving into a small studio apartment out of El Segundo.

God, how I dreaded waking up.

Eventually I did, to a pounding worse than before. In a panic I was on my feet. There had to be a fire next door or an emergency. No one knocks that hard. With a quick glance to the clock, I was dashing out of my room. It was only 8 in the morning. I didn't ask who it was or checked, but opened it. I was a bit thrown at who I saw.

"Look, I don't need-"

"I don't know what you said to him, but it had him upset." She glared at me with the same green eyes. They flashed with anger and persistence, "Do you know how hard it was for me to get him to open up to us again? And here you go, nearly fucking it all up."

I couldn't help but feel the guilt. Whatever I had done, it affected her immensely and obviously him as well, "It won't happen again. I'm sorry." I apologized, feeling the pain in my chest. I didn't mean to upset him. I made to close the door but she did just as her brother had done the night before and kept it open with her hand.

"That's not working on me," She stepped in, "I didn't spend the last two hours getting your address out of Bella for nothing. We need to talk."

"I don't want to."

"Well too bad, Whitlock." She sniffed with her arms crossed, "Because this just became everyone's problem." I didn't see how so, "You've already entered our lives, shared stories for the last month and we couldn't help but care about you. Now you shut us out because you can't handle the truth?"

I felt a rush of a storm of feelings overpower me, "I can handle the truth fine." I had to have a seat. I marched to the stairs and planted myself, "That's what no one can digest."

"And what is the truth, Jasper?" She said, a hint of authority in her voice.

"I'm alone." That seemed to calm her down a bit. The anger died in her eyes and she uncrossed her arms.

"Let me tell you something," She said to me so calmly, I could have mistaken her speaking to a child, "I'm not allowed to do this because this might interfere with your counseling, but frankly I don't care. You are _not_ alone. This is what everyone have been trying to show you." She paced in front of me, "I mean, Bella calls you nearly everyday and it was because of your contact with her that someone _knew_ you weren't right. And she _cared_."

"No," I disagreed with a shake of my head, "She pitied me."

I saw the flash of anger again in her eyes again, "If heard you say that..." Her voice trailed off, "You didn't seem this way a few weeks ago. What's different?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. I knew exactly what changed. The night before when Edward lied, something in me snapped. I was so sick of everyone forgetting that someone left me, yet, treated me like a wounded creature because of what I was left with.

"Edward told me the conversation." It seemed she didn't expect I'd answer. She was going to figure it our herself, "He said your whole demeanor changed after you opened up about your ex," She snorted, "Well if you think we'd be like him and care for you and then leave-"

"I don't want to talk about this-"

"Look, you need to." She cut me off, "I'm here only because I want to understand just what crossed your mind to make you think such awful things about _us._" I was taken aback to see hurt etched on her face, "And I want to understand why out of all of all of us in my family that personally know you, Edward would be hurt by what you said the most. I'm starting to believe there is something you said that he wouldn't tell us."

My world titled and I had to rest my head on the wall to find leverage. He shouldn't have taken it so hard. What would it matter if I wasn't a part of their unit. What did it matter? "I just said I didn't need any of you." I answered back smally.

She replied with a deep sigh, "Yeah, that'd do the trick," I caught the motion of her hair flailing behind her as she shook her head. I wanted her to elaborate, but she left it at that, "I know he also feels guilty about your sudden change in behavior, but that isn't his fault. Jasper, I'm not here to tell you to suck it up, but it does get better. Stop thinking you were left with a burden and start seeing it for what it really is; a gift." That was the second time I heard my child referred to as something beyond special. And it was, but she had to understand...

"I don't want anyone to leave us," I frowned, "I can't bring myself to believe that I have anyone, because I truly don't. I'm not your family. I'm not your obligation."

She rolled her eyes, "Who said family is only limited to blood? Bella has known us for years, does that make her any less important to us than my distant cousin in Alaska?"

I opened my mouth to speak.

"Stop trying to come up with excuses for you to suffer because of the illusion that you're not good enough. You are. And stop treating my brother like shit." It was the first time I ever saw her use profanity.

"Alice, I really didn't mean to."

"Yeah, well next time be nice. And have gratitude for my mom and dad. They want you healthy and happy, as do I." Her arms were crossed again.

"It's not worth-"

"Jasper, if you finish that sentence, I will be your personal roommate for the remaining duration of your pregnancy." She growled, "I want you to call Edward and apologize today. He spent 18 hours at the studio yesterday and didn't even tell us that he was going to see you. He got one call from Bella and left his job which, is in Burbank by the way, and sped over here. Nearly killing himself in the process."

"What?" I stammered, "I thought he was coming from home?"

Alice shook her head, a scowl evident on her face, "No, he has a wild habit of sleeping in the studios when he's really into his work. He doesn't even come down to see _me_ in the middle of projects."

She didn't catch the shock on my face. I was trying my best to take in everything. I could have sworn it was Bella or some one else that pleaded with him to check up on me. I mean, he never said, but I brought it up and he didn't argue. Why would he drive so far just to see if I was okay? Was it because Bella was too distressed and pregnant and he wouldn't allow it? That had to be it. There was no way he'd come and check on me because he cared enough to.

_______

**AN: ** Don't worry. Edward would be explained throughout the next chapters. I won't leave you in the dark for long.


	6. Ten Weeks

**Author's Notes: **Sorry for the delay in this chapter, I've had it completed a few days ago, but never got around to posting it, due to me enjoying Spring Break too much and getting a cold as a result. To those that are a bit lost as to what the A.I.S are, I will go into explanation in later chapters, but to generally explain now, they are the scientist that handle and document the impregnation and pregnancy to those that couldn't carry before (infertile women, men). They "play" as OB-GYNs, pretty much. And a A.U is an "Artificial Uterus" which is also later explained. I'm not going to go into the science of the pregnancy that much, because clearly there is no explained way it can happen...yet, so I'm taking my imagination with me. I apologize if you see any gaps in facts through-out the story. If so, just keep in mind that this is fiction ; sort of slash science fiction in a sense, right?

I am so excited about pushing this story forward. I'm hoping it doesn't show in Jasper's and Edward's interactions. I don't want it to seem forced or too quick, but I am compelled to get to the falling in love part. But it'll be awhile.

I have no ownership of the characters of this story.

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**Chapter Six: Ten Weeks**

I had all the intentions to call Edward back, but it had crossed my mind that I didn't have the number until the following Monday. I felt like a fool for not asking and a bigger fool for not remembering it was him that had been calling me all day Wednesday night. I felt out of it and angry with myself. What was going on? Why was I becoming this hurtful person? I was always aware that I was a bit reserved and it had been brought to my attention numerous times when I was living at home that I had a temper, but it only ever flaired when I felt invaded or taken advantage of. The Cullens were only helping. Alice was right, I was supposed to be grateful, but I was being hard, especially to Edward who really didn't have to make me a priority to his rest or work.

I was guilty.

On Monday morning, Bella picked me up, offering to drive me to the Cullen's place. She had a planned luncheon with Esme and Alice and figured it would save everyone gas and pollute less if she picked me up instead of Carlisle, who had been adament that I not drive under my condition.

In the car, Bella eyed me like a mother to a guilty child, "You haven't spoken to me in nearly two weeks." She pointed out, unsatisfied.

"I-" I started, fumbling my hands on my lap. She had never been mad at me before, "There have been things happening to me that I -" I felt the anxiety building in my chest, "It wouldn't have been right to speak to you."

"I was scared for you," She admitted, "I wouldn't have called Edward if I wasn't. There wasn't much I could do with Mike home, locking me in the room with him," She stared off onto the road, "We had a fight. A _fight_, Jasper. We never fight. "

I stared out the window, unable to bring myself to look at her. There was a crushing noise in my head, and a sudden pull towards the ground. Without thinking, I threw open the door as she pulled out of my neighborhood and lost my breakfast on the sidewalk.

"Jasper!" She screeched, "Honey, are you okay?"

I shook my head, "Maybe you should go without me. I'll take a taxi." I made to get out, but she had an iron grip on my arm.

"Damnit, Jasper, get back in here!" She tugged me rather hard, and I was back in, "stop running when things get hard. And close the door."I did, shivering from the empty stomach. She leaned behind her, getting something from the backseat, "Here. I usually bring this, because I'm clumsy with drinks in the car." It was a white towel. She handed it to me gently.

"Thanks." I held it under my chin, wiping at the slimmy mess there. Luckily I had avoided my clothes.

She was driving again, but this time keeping her eyes on me for awhile, "Are you okay?" Her voice shook like she was frightened. I wasn't sure why.

"Yes, it's morning sickness." She gave me a weary look when I answered.

"Jasper," She said calmly, "I know that your body is experiencing different symptoms than mine was at that stage and that's why I think that it's good that we're here to help, especially Esme and Carlisle. We all want to help-"

"Please," My throat felt raw and clogged, "I don't understand why you want to, but I'm going to try my best to let it happen. I'm...scared. I didn't call or talk to anyone because I was scared."

"What were you scared of?" It was almost the same question I was asked nights before.

"I was promised support and love, Bella." I held my chin with the towel, feeling my stomach churn, "I don't want to be left again."

She didn't answer, but I could tell by the way she sniffled and nodded, that she could understand me perfectly.

_____

Esme let us in and both her and Carlisle greeted us warmly in the family room. They were both casually dressed, relaxed in matching slippers, gentle smiles on their faces.

"Hello dears." Esme said first, reaching in to hug Bella, before she got clear sight of me, "Carlisle." She said in what resembled an alert tone.

I suddenly felt strong hands on my shoulders, "What happened, son?" My cheeks warmed at the name. I hadn't been called that since I was in middle school. It surprised me at how comforted I felt at that.

"I just had morning sickness." I replied meakly. Carlisle stood at my height, but physically made me feel like a child. His eyes were different from the rest of the Cullen's, a soft grey, fitting perfectly with his blonde hair, another feature no one else in the family had. He could have easily been my father if I was ever lucky in life. I was left to his care, although it took much time before Bella could get Esme from my side.

Carlisle walked me up to his study where he checked all my vitals and asked me questions just as my A.I.S did on my weekly visits, yet there was something different about how he asked and exactly _what_ he asked.

My A.I.S, a kind, lean, tall brunette with thick rimmed glasses and sterling blue eyes would have asked me, "Now when was the last time you had morning sickness," Whereas, Carlisle asked me, hand on my skin, checking if I'm damp, "Okay, son, when are you usually experiencing the morning sickness, how often are they and how do you usually feel after? Is there mucus or is the contents black?" The need of thorough answers startled me, but I had to remind myself that I needed to trust him. He asked me about my occuring anxiety attacks, how often I was sleeping and what I ate. He took notes in a leatherbound journal and some more on his computer at his desk, a look of business on his face. On occasion, he'd mumble something to himself, a crease of concern on his face before moving on to the next question.

"Carlisle," I started after his last question regarding my libido, "What does this...?" I couldn't really understand where all these questions were going.

"Jasper, I'm sure in the beginning, the system had provided you with a light medication of hormones. With the child, the medication had to be distrupted, but what is going on in your body is the continuation of the hormone affects. These Scientists were able to create an artificial uterus in you, provided with coats of medication and other chemicals to make your child healthy and your body capable of handling carrying the fetus.

"Where hormones come in-" He sat back in his leather chair, "There will be a period of spikes and drops. And how I'll know where you and the child currently are in development, will be when those spikes occur." He pressed his pen to his lips in thought, "So there may be some personal questions I ask, but I assure you, they will never leave this room. All this information is between me and you."

I hesitated, my fingers in my lap as he waited patiently, "Uh, I haven't-" I shook my head, feeling my skin burn in heat, "I haven't woken up to any - or touched myself. I just can't with the sickness and I just don't want to think-"

He nodded, "I know." He jotted something down in the journal, "The impulse will come. You'll have strong desires for release and towards the third trimester, there may be illogical emotional responses to situations." He typed on the keyboards of his computer.

"Like... PMS?" I frowned. I knew enough from woman to realize that wasn't pleasant.

He chuckled, "Yeah, similar." He sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly, "That'll be all for this week, Jasper. I don't want to exhaust you with the information. Jumping ahead can be overwhelming."

"I'm fine," I argued, "I was never fully aware about what would happen to me. I was dumb, I know, but I always trusted my partner to know the science of it all, really."

He shook his head, closing the leatherbook, "There's nothing wrong with trusting your partner to work with you through this. You are both parents of the child." He slid the book across the desk towards me, "This is the journal that holds all the information you just informed me of. It's yours. If there is anything that you want to add to it, just write the date and put it down. On your next visits and those that follows after, I'll go over them and we'll talk of your health and your medication. I record everything here on my desktop, so no information will be lost from me.

"And with that," He stood up, "I hope you have reduced your intake of the medication by half. I'm sure Edward told you-"

"I didn't follow your advise at first. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, don't worry about it," He answered calmly, "Do you feel better now?" His grey eyes were focused and stern. It reminded me of how a dad reads to see whether his son was telling the truth when he asked if he had done his homework.

"Besides the intense sickness?" I asked, getting a light chuckle.

"Yeah, besides that."

"I physically feel better." I couldn't say the same went for me emotionally or mentally and he caught catch on.

His lips thinned and he opened his mouth to speak, but there was a shrill erupting from his pocket, "I'm sorry, son." He dug in his pocket, pulling out a blackberry, before stepping towards his door, "I'll take this outside."

"Oh!" I stood from the chair in front of his desk, "I'll go. I need fresh air." I waved my hand as he attempted to motion me to stay in my seat.

"Are you sure?" He didn't look comfortable with me leaving the room, "The call will be quick."

"I'm more than sure." I did my best to give him a convincing smile. It seemed to work and I was stepping out of the room, feeling a bit better to be standing and not under the eye of a Doctor. There was mumbling from behind the door. I didn't want to stay and catch any words, so I trailed down the hallway, searching for the stairs. My feet, in an automated response, stopped when it heard a familiar noise.

It was the melody again.

Was there some sort of radio playing that same tune, stuck on repeat or an elaborated grandfather clock that chimed on the hour?

Yet the melody was more rich this time around. There was something different about it. So it couldn't be either, right? I turned and once again in all curiosity, was lurking in an area of the house that no one gave me permission to walk. The music went on longer than I remembered, its changes more abrupt and loud than before. I wasn't sure why this struck me as intrguing, but I was lured in by the strong, elaborate emotions. I was in front of the door, listening intently, my heart fluttering along in unison. What was this? My breath, hitched in my throat, came out in a _whoosh_ of air when I pressed my palm to the door of the room, opening it.

And the music stopped.

My body froze, seeing the back of bronze hair, wildly unkept. He turned, green eyes on me in a daze.

"Your appointment's over already?" He spoke softly.

I couldn't answer right away. The thoughts rambling through my head, were all I heard. It was him playing that night, wasn't it? What was he doing here when he lived in El Segundo and kept to himself? Was this his old room? And how did he know I'd be here, when it was a last minute change?

I decided the latter was better to ask, "How did you know I was hear or that I'll-?"

"I came at the wrong time," He said casually, "I'm visiting on my day off. I didn't know you were coming until my parents explained-" He bit his lip, "They don't keep me informed on your comings and goings, Jasper..." He was silently telling me something with his eyes. It took me but a second to realize what it was.

I realized how my questions may have sounded like accusations more than querries, "I'm sorry." I needed to do better than that, "I shouldn't expect you to explain yourself to me when this is clearly your parents house. I didn't to mean sound so..."

"Scared?" He finished in a quiet whisper. He was fully facing me now on a black, plush stool, hands comfortably folded on his lap.

"I shouldn't have did that to you last week and I should have called..." This was harder than I expected it to be, "Alice told me you were upset. I didn't mean for you to be. I shouldn't have treated you or your family that way."

"Jasper, I should apologize for Alice invading your space like that. She may have taken it personally." He was quiet for a moment, biting his pink lips, "Fuck, I didn't think she'd do that." He looked angry with himself.

"I brought it on myself." He'd have to have seen it that way, right? I upset him when he was only trying to help.

"No, you were putting up a wall, because we come off too strong." There wasn't much else said, because just then the door opened.

"Edward, did you see-?" Carlisle saw me and blinked in surprise before masking it quickly, "Jasper, you alright?"

"Fine," I read his expression, "Is there something wrong?"

"The hospital called," He looked grim, "A girl, she-" He didn't seem compelled to finish.

"If you need to go-" I nodded, "I'll take a taxi." Carlisle was meant to take me home, but it really wasn't a big deal if I had a ride to pay for. It was the least I could do for taking up their time.

"No, I'm not going to allow that-" He composed himself, "I'll take you home."

"No, if it's important, I don't want you wasting time on a car ride." Before Carlisle could even come up with an argument, Edward held up a hand.

"I'll take him home." I looked to him, worry evident on my face, I'm sure. There was something about being in a car with Edward - the confined space - that unerved me. He was less like his family, both in how he interacted with me and by his history. The situation was intimidating in so many ways, because he was was beautiful, his demeanor was stoic and to top it off - he was gay. I wasn't sure I could handle that.

"Jasper, is that okay with you?" Carlisle studied my expression, and I knew right there I had to hide it. I nodded, not trusting myself to answer properly, "I'm deeply sorry for cutting our appointment short. The journal is on my desk. Please pick it up before you leave." He nodded to Edward, "Please..." Was all he said. The exchange between them was alarming. What was going on?

"I promise." Edward nodded and with that, Carlisle was out the door. I looked back to Edward, surprised to see his eyes on me, an emotion on his face that I couldn't read.

"I should get you home now, before you lose your nerve. I can see it on your face."

Carlisle seemed to believe me, but how could Edward see right through it? "How did you-?" What was the use of asking him such a question? "I'm sorry, Edward. I don't mean to be scared. It's just, I don't understand you. Please don't take it the wrong way."

If there was any trace of emotion on his face before, it was completely gone now, "I will take you home," He said in a leveled voice, "It'll be quick, I promise."

_____

My stomach tightened as soon as he started the engine. Not a word had been uttered between us since his father left the property and he was making no attempts at starting a conversation. It was my fault. I knew it was in something I said and it kept playing back in my mind. I made him mad. Damnit, I made him mad!

I fumbled clumsily with the seatbelt and tucked my shaking hands under my thighs. He noticed, but didn't say anything and pulled out of the gate, turning on the dirt road that lead us down the mountain. The leather interior smelled fresh, mixing in with a sweet scent that I easily associated with him. Despite the pleasant calm it gave my mind, it knotted my stomach even more and made my teeth shatter. He clicked his thumb against the steering wheel. I could make out a thin silver band wrapped around it. It fit snugly on his thin fingers. I looked away, hoping that with no sight of him, I'd feel better.

I didn't.

My heart hammered manically in my chest and I did my best to hold back a whimper of concern. What was going on with me?

And it hit me.

The night before he left. That car ride, that car ride. Oh God, I could remember. It was the last moment we shared in the car together. It was so intimate, yet silent, how he occasionally looked over at me. I thought maybe he was thinking fondly of our child, how it may have looked on me after 6 months, but I wasn't wise enough to know he was silently saying goodbye. My knee jerked in the seat and I had the urge to get out. I needed to leave before it would hurt.

I unbuckled the seatbelt of the car, unlocking the door and opening it. I hadn't realized that the car had stopped on the dirt road. There was a tug on my forearm and I was kept in the car.

"You need to stop running away from everything that reminds you of him." for that moment, I forgot about my anxiety, my fears and even James. How did he know?

But I kept my guard up, "What makes you think I'm running away?" I challenged.

"Because I did the same thing." His response was quick and heated, but he didn't look angry at all, just weary.

I stared at him wide-eyed, not sure what to say or do. I knew too little about his history to know what he ran away from or why. All I knew was that he kept from his family and a lot of that was when he was younger and a student in college. I was sure it had a lot to do with his orientation, but that was it. It was all theory from there. But what else did he know about me and James? Like he said, Bella was his confidant, so he must have known a bit of what I discussed in class, even if I had never said his name, I did mention coming out and the life that came after. He had to have known that one day I fell asleep happy and content and the next, woken up to an empty bed and no explanation.

James.

James.

Why was it that everytime I was around Edward, the memory of James hurt the most?

"Jasper, please breathe for me," He held out a hand, asking for permission, before resting it on his shoulder, "You have to breathe." I did, feeling an ease in my chest, "Good, just like that."

"I'm s-sorry." I panted, "I c-can't-"

"Yes, you can," He said, already knowing what I was going to say, "Please trust me, okay?" He rubbed soothing circles into my back, letting me lean onto his shoulder, feeling weak, unable to keep my wall up.

"You were angry."

"I wasn't, Jasper." He said cooly, "I'm just afraid that I'm getting too emotionally involved like my parents." He chuckled to himself, "My family has fallen in love with you Jasper, you have no idea."

It came out pained and high when I asked, "Why?"

"You're strong, even in this circumstance," He had to be joking.

I laughed darkly,"You just told me to _breathe_. There's nothing strong about me."

His lips were so close to my ear, he had to whisper, "The strongest of us forget to breathe, Jasper." He sat back in his seat, but his hand was still on my back, "Jasper, I respect that you need your privacy and that there are some things you don't want to discuss. And if you were anyone else, I'd tell my family to back off, but you're not." He left no room for me to ask why. He shifted the car into drive, continuing down the road, "For me to come to my sense that the world wasn't as it was, I needed people to drill it into my head; that's where Alice, Bella and my parents came to my aide."

"That's what family is for, Edward," I pointed out.

"It's interesting that you say that-" I knew where this was going.

"Don't say that I'm family," My hands, once tucked under my thigh and shaking, closed into fists on my knee.

"They say that because they want you to feel at ease as you would with family."

"I don't have a family." I said in exasperation.

"All the more reason, Jasper." Edward's eyes met mine and they were pleading as they were the last time we spoken, "My parents are professionals too. They helped me."

"Why are you so adamant about me sticking around? I came to the appointment, didn't I? I'm going to the meeting this Wednesday-"

"But you're still compulsed to run away or fight help." He thought for a moment, "If you knew what happened to me..." He trailed off, with a jerk of his head. There was a brief moment of silence as I considered his statment.

I was curious and I couldn't deny that I wanted to know, "It might help if you were willing to tell..." And the silence stretched on until we were in front of my apartment.

He parked, then shut of the engine, surprising me, "If I told you, would you promise to make things easier on yourself and everyone who cares?"

There was no way I could blindly agree to this, "No one ca-"

"Don't argue against it," He cut me off, "Just promise me and I'll tell you."

I wanted to bite my lip until it bled, but my curiosity won over. I needed to know what was behind that fury and emotion that went into his music. I needed to know how it never showed in the way he spoke and behaved and above all else, I wanted to know how he came around. There was a part of me that desired that strength. "I promise."

He smiled and my body responded in chills. He was too beautiful to be concerned with me, "Alright, I'm off next Monday as well. I can give you a ride to dad's and after we could do lunch?"

My stomach lurched again, but this time in a flutter of butterflies, "Lunch?" My brain froze and my body tensed.

He read it easliy, "If it makes you uncomfortable." He stated, "Maybe when you're ready, we could-"

"No!" I protested, startling him as well as myself. It surprised me how much I didn't want this oppurtunity to pass. "I'm fine."

"Alright. I'll take this answer now, but if you change your mind, call me."

"I won't."

There was a glint of something in his eyes, but I couldn't put a finger on it, "Call me and let me know."

* * *

**AN: **Alrighty, I'm hoping you guys saw the repitition of defiance with Jasper and those he interacted with. I wanted to emphasize how determined he is to handle himself alone, hence the "taxi" line used repeatedly and the desire to run. Not an action-packed chapter, but I will have another up shortly to make up for it. Thanks for reading and be sure to review and let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	7. Eleven Weeks Part 1

**Author's Notes: **Back from break and a brief drought of writer doubt. This chapter is pretty long compared to the last ones. I won't usually do this, seeing how I want to post chapters as often as possible. Hope you enjoy though!

Have No Ownership of Characters

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**Chapter Seven: Week Eleven I**

As soon as I entered my apartment, I panicked, taking deep breaths, feeling my legs buckle, until my rear was resting on my heels. I couldn't help but think of one word ; _date. _

I knew better than to believe that was so, but a week ago, I wouldn't have believed that someone as beautiful and kept together as himself would even take a moment to be alone with me by choice. I visited the A.I.S as expected and got the usual check-up, but no medicated changes. And on Wednesday, I kept silent, knowing it was a big week for Tanya. Her child was due anyday now. Bella met with me after class and suggested we do dinner. I didn't want her to think I was undergoing an inner battle of any sorts, so I agreed. We kept our conversation light and talked about her husband and his eagerness to have her baby's bedroom ready before the month was over. She tried to pry out some information about my ride home with Edward, but I kept my evasive act up until she got the picture and let it go. We ended the night with me promising to keep in touch over the week and I was off to continuing the rest of the week babysitting a Middle-aged divorced woman's two dogs for three days.

Monday came easier than the week before and for the first time in over two months, I went days without morning sickness. It seemed that what Carlisle instructed me to do was working. I noted it in the journal, happy that Carlisle wouldn't stare at that observation with that serious frown, but with a smile very much like his son's.

By Sunday, I called Edward, reminding him that I was okay with him driving me to his parent's house and taking me out to lunch. He seemed pleased that the schedule didn't change, but informed me there was a place he had an errend to run right after lunch.

"Is that okay with you?" He asked.

"It's fine." I assured, "I can take a taxi-"

"You're not taking a taxi anywhere." He laughed, "I was asking if it was alright if you could come with."

"Oh," I knew he couldn't see me blush, but it made me suddenly sheepish. He was comfortable enough to have me run errands with him? "If it's alright with you."

"Of course it is," His voice was suddenly soft, "I'll pick you up at 9."

_____

Edward was prompt.

He called, letting me know he'd be in front of the property at 8:55. I waited outside, with the leather journal in hand, standing just under the shade of a tree I'm sure was twice my age. There was a shimmer of silver and a hum of an automatic window rolling down before I noticed that it was Edward. He was out of the car almost instantly, walking around the front before opening the passenger side door.

"Are you ready?" I blinked, watching him, not sure whether I should be amused or put-off. I didn't want to arouse any doubts in his mind about our plans, so I swallowed and took careful steps towards the vehicle before getting in. He closed the door behind me and rounded back to his side before getting in and buckling up, "Have you eaten breakfast?" The question was hard to register. He asked me if I just ate? as absurd as it would have been to me perhaps months before, the idea of him asking clicked a switch in my mind. I was so intrigued by him and the blind intent of his family that I was forgetting exactly why he was even going through the trouble.

He stared at me, furrowing his eyebrows in concern. I didn't want to give him a chance to ask me if I was okay, "Yeah, I had yogurt."

"Yogurt?" He kinked an eyebrow. His lips twitched, but he turned away before I could figure if it was forming into a grin or a frown, "Sure you're not hungry?"

"I've been blessed with a streak of normal nausea-less days. I don't want to spoil it." I explained.

"A muffin and juice wouldn't hurt though." I heard the smile in voice.

"What?" I pressed, feeling like a child.

"Alice is the only other person I know that considers just yogurt for breakfast," He shook his head, "She sometimes gets under the impression that she needs to eat less." I didn't understand what he meant exactly until I pieced the conversation together in my mind. He must've thought I was starting to become hyper aware of my weight. I actually hadn't considered it.

The mood in the car seemed light enough for him to continue the conversation. He seemed mindfull not to bring up my condition, so the topic moved onto Alice and the quirks he had to deal with being raised with her. For someone whom seemed so reserved and to himself, he spoke quite a bit. It was a pleasant distraction from me creating a mirroring episode like the week before.

He made no mention of himself or what he planned to open up to me. We both knew that was for later, yet I had to wonder if it was something his parents would have been okay with. Granted, they were already involved enough with my personal life, wasn't it a stretch to have their son become a part of it? Was that what Carlisle was pleading for with his son, to keep our relationship strictly impersonal? I couldn't help but think maybe his parents wanted me clueless as to what his history contained.

The ride was quicker than I anticipated and soon I was out of the car - with the gentleman assistance of Edward - and walking towards the front entrance of the house. As if expecting us, the door was open and we let ourselves in. We were greeted with a waft of freshly cooked pancakes and the stimulating aroma of coffee.

"Edward? Jasper?" I heard the tinkle-like voice of Alice, She poked her head out from the kitchen down the long, wide hall, waving us over, "Just in time. I made breakfast for everyone. Mom's upstairs getting dressed and dad's in his study." She nodded in my direction as if indicating that the information was addressed to me, "Dad needs to eat." She hummed sweetly before disappearing in the kitchen.

Edward gave me an apologetic smile, "She won't take no for an answer, I'm afraid." He whispered low enough so only I could hear.

"That's fine, I have room for a pancake or two." He smiled knowingly and I took that oppurtunity to smile back, feeling a sudden rush in my gut. The moment couldn't last or I'd let it get to my head. I made my way upstairs, keeping in route to Carlisle's study. I stepped before the closed door, knocked twice and waited until he allowed me entry. I stepped in timidly, not knowing what to expect considering the last time we spoke, he was whisked away with doctorly duties. I was afraid of finding the answers of what transpired from that day on his face. To my relief, he looked well relaxed, if not happy to see me.

"You look so much better." He stood from his desk, walking over to welcome me with a gentle pat on the back.

"I struck to what you said and the nausea is nearly gone." I held out the leather journal to him, "I wrote down some of the changes that happened over the week."

He took the book, fingering through it with genuine interest and that smile that I had the desire to see, "This is what I wanted to see, Jasper. I'm hoping the rest of your pregnancy can go as smoothly as this past week." Be walked back to his desk, pulling out a small bag that I knew to have his equipement in it. He asked me to sit before taking my blood pressure, my temperature and asking me the same list of questions as the week before. He scribbled some notes on the journal and on his computer before nodding in satisfaction.

"I'm guessing Alice is expecting us for breakfast." He sighed, standing to his feet.

"Yeah, she implied that you needed to come down." I stood along with him, knowing we'd have to make a trip downstairs.

"We can take a break for now," He escorted me out the room, "I only have one more thing to ask of you and you can be on your way."

Alice was waiting, spatula in hand, and a stern look on her face. Sitting relaxed at the kitchen counter with a plate in front of him was Edward, a rather amused smile on his face as his sister uttered, "You two took too long." She pointed the object at us as if it was a weapon.

Carlisle patted my shoulder, ushering me to the plate of loaded pancakes before casting a sheepish glance at his daughter, "Duty called, angel."

"Oh, don't angel me," She poked him with her small pointer finger, but I could see the grin spreading on her face. I think the only time I had ever _really _seen her angry was that morning she came to visit me for the first time. I swallowed the rising anxiety in my chest, trying my best to not worry about whether or not she was angry with me. It wasn't the time to second-guess myself or their intentions. Bella wanted me to trust them, Edward, for some insane reason, wanted me to trust them. The problem that I just couldn't get past was why.

I couldn't hide my discomfort quick enough. Carlisle's back was to me, but Alice's eyes were on mine and I felt movement beside me as Edward stood up. He was close enough to touch me when I felt his breath on my cheek, "Hey, do you want to eat?"

There was no nausea this time around, but a tightening in my chest, a familiar panic. What if I couldn't do this?

"Jasper, stop it," Edward said lowly, "Please, just have a bite to eat."

"What about lunch?" I asked quietly, hoping I wasn't going to get anyone's attention.

He seemed to be thinking about something, before speaking again, "We can get a late lunch after I run my errand. I have a place we can go to talk."

Alice placed her spatula down on the counter, turning off the stove before turning to me again. She didn't move, but I could see the wheels turning in her head. Carlisle lifted his head, furrowing his eyebrows at us, but I couldn't let him guess that anything was up.

"I think I'll have a quick bite." I tried to sound light and unphased, but I wasn't sure it was working. Carlisle's frown only deepened. He looked from Edward to me and something in his eyes changed.

"Edward," He said in that father tone I couldn't help but recall. I did my best to repress the shiver that went through me. A regurgitation of memories played in my mind and I shuffled my feet forward to the small stack of plates next to Alice, "A word please." Carlisle gingerly placed his own stacked plate onto the counter before striding out of the kitchen. I couldn't look at Edward, so I waited until his footsteps followed before I could turn to get any food to eat.

"Hey," I jumped, forgetting Alice was in the room with me, "I wanted to apologise for last week." She spoke gentler this time, "I meant to last week, but being with Rosalie can be a full-time job," She looked up at me with sorry eyes, "I didn't mean to come down on you so hard and say those things, but I was really scared. After what we went through, I get so nervous that this will turn out exactly-" And the strangest thing happened. Her eyes welled up and she shut them, her mouth stopped forming words and her voice died in her throat. I stared at her, bewildered at this moment, at this situation. There was more to this family than they were letting on. Granted, I'm sure I had something to do with it, but there was a history here that they weren't telling me.

My hand lifted on its own accord, resting on her small back, a back so similar to a girl I used to be close to years ago. My heart swelled at an alarming rate and for a moment, I considered the idea that I could love Alice as well as Bella as sisters. Their love was bigger than the bodies they concealed them in, "Alice, are you okay?"

Her eyes blinked back tears and there was a sad grin on her face, "Peachy keen," She said, although I could hear the tightness in her throat.

"I deserved all that," I rubbed her back in soothing circles, "I shouldn't have treated Edward so harshly for trying to help me out-"

"Yeah, Edward," She rolled her eyes and this time her grin widened into something more genuine, "He let me have it when I told him what I did." She let out a snort of laughter that caught me off guard.

"He-?" I couldn't believe it. After hurting him like that, he was willing to stand up for me? I bit my lip, feeling my heart burn against my chest.

"Yeah, it's been awhile since I've seen him so fiery and heated about something," She eyed me through narrow lids, "I don't know what you're doing, Jasper, but something has sparked in him. He's usually so...distant, even now." She was quiet for a moment, her eyes glassing again before shaking her head, "Eat, before you see me when I'm _really _dangerous." I didn't hesitate, grabbing two flapjacks before I walked on over to counter. She poured me a class of orange juice and we continued our moment together in a peaceful silence.

____

Edward appeared in the kitchen again, a look of fury on his beautiful face. Alice, once again with spatula in hand was tossing aside the pan and putting the juice carton back in the fridge before she looked up and saw him, "Dad ream you?" She said, teasingly, although I could tell the issue was serious.

"Alice," He growled and I bit my tongue containing any noise that attempted to slip out. His anger frightened me, yet aroused something else I wasn't so familiar with.

"As well as I know, dad could see you're up to no good." She went on lightly, humming as she turned on the faucet in the sink.

His jaw clenched and I couldn't help but inhale deeply. When his eyes met mine, I looked away, "Was it something I did?" I said low enough for just him to hear me. Why else would his dad need him up there at that moment?

"No," All fury out of his tone as he tried to pursuade me otherwise, "My dad knows what I'm going to do." He said softly.

"What are you going to do?" I fingered the fork on my plate, watching the trail of syrup follow the metal. I was able to eat 3/4 of the meal and take down about a glass of juice before I felt satisfied. My stomach clenched automatically at the idea of a full meal. Edward took his time to answer my question, keeping silent long enough for me to question if he was going to answer at all.

"I'm going to give you a choice."

____

I walked the hall down to Carlisle's study, this time more nervous than before. I knocked and just as casually, he invited me in. He stood this time, in front of his desk, a thin strip of paper between two fingers. He looked troubled, but still put-together.

"I know you're going to give me trouble about this Jasper," He said with a twinkle in his eyes, "but believe me, this is the least me and my wife can do. I know you're an individual who prides himself in handling how he lives, but please," He handed me the sheet of paper, "allow us to thank you."

"Thank me for what?" I asked, not sure if he meant my weekly check-ups visits or something else entirely. Then I looked at the paper and gasped, "$1,500? Dr. Cullen, I can't take this!" I stammered.

"Dr. Cullen now, is it?" He laughed, pushing himself off the desk, "Jasper, I know your future is going to need much more than what your current part-time job can provide. By allowing me to use information about your condition, you're participating in something that can benefit thousands of future patients." The look in his eyes changed. For a moment, I thought he was going to continue, but he merely nodded his head towards the check, "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or cheap. It's the last thing any of us would of consider you, son." And there was a silence, a desperate silence that filled the room. The energy between us felt heavy with unsaid words and lost emotions, I wasn't sure whom it was coming from.

I pinched the paper between my fingers and chewed my bottom lip as I came to a conclusion. Whatever Edward had to say, he needed to spill all of it. There was some underlying problem that was threading between my relationship with the Cullens and if anything was going to keep this going, I had to know what it was.

"Alright," I caved in, "I won't fight your help."

____

It wasn't that easy. I knew I would never drop the excess baggage and allow a family to weave their way into my life without question, but I was going to try to consider their assistance with my pregnancy. I had to remember just as Edward stated, they were proffesionals.

We said our goodbyes to Alice and Esme, who had joined in the kitchen, putting away the last of the food. Edward and I were back in the car, heading out the gated drive-way.

"Do you like Echo Park?" He asked, when we were finally down the mountain, entering the traffic of workers out for lunch.

"I never been." I admitted honestly. I never had a reason to go.

"Want to take a walk there?" He said casually, but I couldn't help but notice the way he stared. My hand trembled, but not as bad as I expected it to. I knew that look, but I didn't want to think about it.

"It's a bit far isn't it?"

"We have time." He answered. I nodded a yes and we took the streets over, a ride in silence with my dangerous trail of thoughts.

____

Edward expertly parallel parked in front of a stretch of grass and pack of laughing children. We got out and made our way on the walkway before he spoke again, "You're comfortable?" I noted the way he looked me over, his eyes on my stomach a second too long. I felt a heat run through me, consciously placing my hand there. There was a bump that I hadn't noticed before. It could have easily been mistaken for a beer belly, but it didn't matter, I suddenly felt like a whale. I entertained the thought of him reconsidering being here with me in public. I looked around at the children, laughing and running about with no evident guardians. There was a small Hispanic mother holding the hand of a little girl with the same brown eyes and smile, two pigtails coiled and falling, touching her ears. No one seemed to notice me now, but I knew if we stepped deeper into the park...

"Hey," I felt a hand on my elbow and I turned, surprised to see just how enchanting his eyes were, a sea of green speckled with gold, "You're _fucking _ beautiful, stop worrying about what others will think." He said this so gently, but I wouldn't deny that there was a hint of demand in that tone. I shrank back, not because I was scared, but because he threw me off. How did he read that on my face? was I that obvious? And was I...beautiful to him? Or was he just saying this to make me feel better? He suddenly seemed to remember his place, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off so strong. It just frustrates me that you would think so low of yourself."

"You don't know what I was thinking, Edward." I mumbled, still perplexed with his accuracy.

"I was born in a family of stubborn internalizers. I've grown to read eyes and body language to know what someone is thinking. It's second nature now." He spoke casually, "And something about you, just makes you that much easier to read." I found that piece of information interesting. We walked deeper into the park, towards a body of water. His eyes darted towards me on occasion, as if he was trying to read something else. I stared back, daring him.

He looked angelic in the noon light, his hair shimmering bronze, his skin sparkling. I couldn't turn away, "Do you know what I'm thinking now?" It slipped out of my mouth like someone else had control. That wasn't me. I never sounded like that, so coy and flirty. My cheeks reddened in heat and I turned away.

He chukled, "I know you're thinking that you weren't suppose to say that," He glanced around as if looking for something before jerking his head towards an empty bench a few yards away, "Come on, let's be less of strangers."

We walked over, took our seats and looked over the man-made lake. I heard the distant laughter of school children and wondered whether or not one day my child would be one of them, running around, eyes like mine hair like his or her other father, dancing in the grass with carefree glee. A part of me promised to make it happen.

"Jasper," Edward jarred me from my fantasy, "I know so little about you, but I'm almost certain that we share some bad habits more than we allow ourselves to realize," I was quiet as he went on slowly, "I've worked so hard these last few years to become the way I am today. I never visited home, rarely ever spoke to Alice, let alone my parents and kept my oreientation a secret for a painful 3 years. I didn't know at that time, that there was a part of me that couldn't forgive my parents."

I leaned back onto the wooden bench, suddenly compelled to touch his skin, let him know I was listening, but all I could bring myself to do was speak, "Forgive them for what?"

With a saddened expression and a moment's hesitation, he finally spoke, "I realized I was who I was when I was 16. Two things happened to me that year, I couldn't keep my eyes off of a classmate and I couldn't keep my eyes off of his piano. I had always played, but it was a hobby or an extra activity. I liked it, but it was always there because my mother encouraged me to build skills no matter what they were and since I cared so little about sports or art, I took to music.

"I met this new Junior boy in my music class. He said he travelled a lot and he had just came from Italy. He was a bit shy and kept mostly to himself, but when he played, he shined. I admired him so much, that I couldn't help myself, I asked for lessons. He didn't hesitate to say yes I noticed. On our first day of tutoring, he showed me his grand piano, which was perhaps the most enchanting thing I had ever seen second to him at that point. We practiced for hours. I had before then learned the basics of playing, but over time moved on to other instruments. Being introduced for a second time, it was different." He stared off onto the water, elbows on knees as he replayed his memory, "The second and third time I came over, we played as long as we did before. And the fourth, he showed me a song he composed. He played it for me and it was the first time I ever _felt _music. I asked him to teach me and from there our lessons become a religious series of meetings.

"I knew I was attracted to him, but I kept our relationship innocent and friendly, until the end of the school year." The story seemed to end there. He leaned back, eyes flickering from parents to toddlers and I waited. Mostly because I was unsure what to say to this. He finally spoke with a new energy in his voice, "He told me he was leaving for awhile. He never said where. He never spoke of parents and I never seen a guardian of any kind whenever I was over. And the way he just could appear and leave, it unerved me. I wanted him to stay, so I did the only thing I could think of, I kissed him." He smiled smally, "And he kissed me back. It was so exhilerating. There were so many things rushing through my mind then. _Fuck_, I knew right then and there I was gay. It hurt, hearing him say after that he couldn't continue tutoring me. He looked so scared. And I slipped up and told him I wanted to be with him. I _said_ that." He let out a dark chuckle, "And I knew he wanted it too.

"He was gone the next week. Left without a trace. No one questioned where he was, and people moved on with their lives. It was like he was never there. It was around then, that I became detached from my family. I stuck to my room, practicing anything and everything. Dad knew about my lessons, so for my birthday, he blessed me with a keyboard, my first ever." His fingers were molding his hair into disarray of auborn locks and he went on, "During the second semester of Junior year, he came back, looking sick and out of it." I didn't expect his story to turn out like this. I waited and listened, hoping he would explain why, "He pretended he didn't know me and avoided the music hall altogether. After a month of him avoiding me as well, I followed him home. He was only a block from my own neighborhood. I waited a week or so, building up my courage, before one day I just banged on the door. An older man answered. The guy told me that he was sick and needed rest. When I asked who he was, he said 'I'm his partner.'." Edward scoffed.

"I figured he didn't want me, so I tried to put him out of my mind, but you can imagine the shock I had when my mom told me at dinner a few weeks later that 'my friend' was one of her new clients back at Expecting Care." I gawked at him. This couldn't be where I thought it was going, "Yeah, Jasper, he was one of the first 6 men in Los Angeles to experience carrying. At that time, it was still new, and there were still...shit to work out." He stared hard at the water ahead, "My mom said he looked sick and unhealthy. He didn't speak at the sessions and wouldn't open up to her. She suggested he see a doctor and he said he already had one. After a few months, my mom asked Carlisle to pay a home visit. It was her first time urging him to into anything personal with her clients, but sadly, my mom knows me too well and was aware that whatever I was going through, had something to do with her. My dad came when the _partner_ was away and investigated. It took a lot of pursuasion, but my father was able to do a check-up. He had low blood pressure, was exhausted, underweight and over-medicated." Oh God, I knew where this was going.

"For the next few weeks, my mom tried to get him to open up. He refused. My dad paid a few more visits, but was never ableto make it past the front door. And through all that, he got worse, lost more weight and eventually stopped coming to school altogether." Edward inhaled deeply, a noise caught in his throat. My hand shot out on impulse, touching his own, giving it a squeeze, to let him know I was there listening. I knew the story was going to take a turn for the worst, "He arrived one day on our doorstep in the middle of the night. He looked so scared and lost. I couldn't sleep that night and I heard the knock on the door. I answered it and he fell into my arms sobbing, going on about the medication he was on, the unhealthy baby growing in him and his absent partner. He couldn't find him. He said he had no family and he said...he said he needed me." I waited patiently as Edward composed himself, taking deep breaths, "I woke up everyone in the house, bringing him in. He confessed everything to us. Of course, my parents went into immediate action, calling the A.I.S offices, then the hospital. My father wanted to make sure that he was okay. He panicked. I should have known he was going to leave. He said he had to go to the bathroom and like that he slipped out back.

"We searched, looked everywhere, but the next morning, the school janitor found him in the music room." He didn't need to say anything else. I knew what he meant. He was found dead. I could hear it in his voice.

"Alec," He spoke softly, "Alec Carbro."

"Edward," I finally spoken, caressing his knuckles with my finger. My eyes teared, but I blinked away the pain I felt radiating off of him.

"I closed up. I wouldn't come out of my room for weeks and when I did, I only went to school. I graduated and left for USC, staying in dorms. It broke the family up. Mom felt guilty about Alec and dad was angry. They had these deep, heated discussions. Dad was sure it was the medication that killed him, mom was intent on the fact that he died from no love, no family and no hope. It haunted them, because it haunted me. And they fought to alleviate that pain for me, bring some kind of justice to Alec. But they couldn't. I left, scared because a part of me couldn't forgive them, or myself from letting him slip away and because I knew if I came out, it would only hurt them more."

"But why?" I asked. He knew they wouldn't hate him. They helped and supported a gay, pregnant student, why not him?

"My parents have hero complexes. If they can save you, they will. I thought, for a moment, they would forget I was their son and see me as someone needing to be saved. I would remind them too much of Alec. I couldn't hurt them like that, so I stayed closeted, until my sophomore year in USC. I met Emmett, who was the complete opposite of Alec, but shared his passion. We became friends quick. I didn't know he was gay, but apprently he knew it the moment he saw me and made it a mission to 'get to know me better'." He laughed, "Emmett helped me through a lot. He started the healing process after Alec. He pursuaded me to change my major and tell my parents. I ended up one-uping that and came out along with telling them I was dating him." He shook his head at the memory, "Em was shocked to say the least." I could recall him making mention of a football player he was dating in college.

"How'd your parents take it?"

"I didn't wait to find out," He said with a small frown, "I was kind of an asshole. I was so sure they would be scared for me, so I avoided them. They invited Em and I over for family dinners and vacation trips and I declined every invitation until Alice got admitted into USC. It became a more difficult task. That girl would not let me out of her site."

"Do you forgive them?" I whispered the question, feeling silly for asking it.

He didn't seem to mind, "I do now. I trust their decisions and I came to terms with what happened to Alec. We got to him too late. My parents went out of their way more than any other person would," His eyes were on mine, determination set in them, "I trust them with all I have, Jasper, but I needed to tell you this, so that you could know. There are obvious similarities between you and Alec..." His voice trailed off.

"I know." I whispered.

"I don't want you to run away," He said straightly, "I want you to know they genuinely care for many reasons, the most obvious because they don't want a repeat in history if they can help it." His other hand was on my own now, "but if you _don't_ trust them..."

"I do." And with every fiber in my being, I believed that.

"Then, please don't run away from this." The desperation in his eyes matched the mood in his father's room earlier that day. They needed me as much as I needed them. They wanted to fix history. I didn't know what to think of it.

"We see you as you are Jasper." His voice cut through my thoughts, "I have been forced to think of Alec lately, but I still see you." I knew he was promising me something, but I wasn't sure what, "So is it a deal? You're still willing to stick around?"

"I have no plans to go anywhere."

He seemed to take in our surroundings for the first time and stood up. He looked so different to me, less put together, more complex. I thought his story would satiate any curiousity I had about him, but I wanted to know so much more. I needed to. He rubbed his knuckles absently and held out his hand before I took it, pulling me gently to my both turned at the gleeful squeals of a child. A young toddler about the age of 5 was before us at my feet, staring up at me with questioning eyes. She had wavy auborn hair and teal eyes very much like my own, and tugged on my jeans, smiling toothily. I couldn't help but stare at her. She looked so familiar to me like I met her before. And then she took me by surprise when she raised her hands up to me as if silently asking for permission for me to lift her.

Edward and I exchanged glances and small crossed his face as if he knew something I didn't, "She wants her daddy." He joked and I couldn't help but gawk at him. As much as I knew this wasn't my child, I couldn't deny her need to be held.

"Rox!" the yell caught us off guard, "Roxanne, what did I tell you about that?" A young woman, not much older than I ran to the girl, lifting her up with ease. She had the same teal eyes, but bobbed golden blonde hair, "I'm so sorry. She probably thought you guys were my brother and her dad. She doesn't usually run to strangers like this." The woman looked flustered, but nonetheless annoyed as a mother would.

"It's fine." Edward assured, lightly.

"She's beautiful." I couldn't stop the words as they left my lips.

"Thanks." She said with a bright smile, then with a nod to my belly, "Enjoy them while they're attached to you. As soon as they walk, they go." And she turned and marched towards a wide blanket, a few feet away from us, daughter in her arms.

Edward and I shared another glance. I was sure I saw the future.

* * *

**AN: **Hope that answered some questions. Edward's story was pretty lengthy, but he needed to explain all that for Jasper (and you guys) to understand why he is like he is as well as the rest of the Cullens. Thanks for reading! Next chapter, I introduce some special characters!

Review and let me know how you like (or dislike) it so far.


	8. Eleven Weeks Part 2

**Author's Notes: **My dear, this chapter is longer. This will be the last chapter for the next few days. I have to finish the epilogue for Simon Says and work on an actual short fiction for class. It's one of the reasons I have been M.I.A with this particular fic. Not to worry, this should hold you for awhile. And I'll be back by the end of this week.

**Chapter Eight: Week Eleven II**

It was already 1PM. With a sigh, Edward squeezed my hand, still in his own and suggested we be on our way, "Em hates it when I'm late."

"Em?" I frowned, replaying our entire conversation. That name sounded familiar, but it was hard to dig through anything past Alec. And then it hit me - boyfriend from college.

Or not?

My legs felt like heavy lead as I couldn't help but stumble as we walked to the curb of the street. Edward, while opening my door, looked over to me and rushed back, "What is it? Is it the baby? Do you feel faint?" The words came out in a rush of panic. I looked down, just noticing that both my hands were on my belly.

"I'm fine." I croaked, "Fine." I walked towards the car, but he held my elbows to get a good look at me, "Your errand..." I wanted to ask something, anything to let me know why we were meeting with someone I assumed was in his past. It's was hard enough being in the presence of a gay man, but two, who were intimate...

"It'll be quick, I promise. I just need to pick him up from work. His car is in the shop-" His hands ran up to my forearm before securing them in his fingers, "Or I could take you home. He wouldn't mind waiting a few minutes." He added quickly. His voice rose in a panic. I was selfish to be so foolish and allow the situation to bother me. Here I was, fearing being in the company of two men in love, while he was possibly reliving his worst nightmare.

"I'm fine, Edward," I said sternly, "I just don't want to get in the way of-" This really wasn't the time, "You didn't need to bring me along for this. I'll be fine with a ride home. If you need a moment with-"

"You're not going home in a taxi." He uttered angerily and I shrank back, unsure with what was rushing through his mind, "I'm sorry. _Shit, _I am so sorry, Jasper." And he backed away, running his hands through his hair, "Just please tell me what made you -" He tried to compose himself, "You said you wouldn't run."

"I'm not." I argued.

"Did I do anything that may have changed your mind?" His face contorted to pain, "Was it Alec?"

"No!" I exclaimed, "No, Edward, stop." Without thinking, I grabbed his his hand, "I'm not running away again. I promised, didn't I? But I'm not going to get in the way of your life. Your family and you don't have to carry me around like dead weight if you don't have to. You don't have to disguise Emmett as an errand to run, I get it. And I'll be fine." I was sure I was trying to convince myself more than him.

"But Emmett's not-"

He didn't need to tell that his boyfriend wouldn't mind my company or that I wouldn't be a third wheel. It really didn't matter, either way, because this was the last time I'd allow him to haul me around. As much as I needed to stop running, he needed to trust that I wouldn't, "It's okay. I'll come."

A wave of relief settled over his features and I took that as an opportune moment to get in the car. He jogged around the front of the Volvo, got in and looked over at me most likely to make sure I wasn't doubting my decision.

"We can do lunch right after." I wasn't sure I could stomach an entire afternoon in the presence of his boyfriend. That may be pushing it.

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

I had to weigh my options once again, but I nodded, letting him have his way. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but thought better of it and started the car.

____

We headed back into Hollywood, this time, parking right in front of a massive all glass wall building. Edward asked me if I was going to be okay for a few seconds and when he got the response he needed, he left, disappearing behind tall double doors. It didn't take long. He was back out almost instantly, a rather tall and built man behind him. I bit back a gasp, noting just how intimidating he was. He was gorgeous in his own right, short, brown hair in doll-like curls, big brown eyes and dimples triggered when he turned to laugh at something Edward said. A massive arm lifted, wrapping around Edward who stood a few inches shorter than him. He pulled him into a tight half hug and leaned over, pecking his lips. I looked away, feeling invasive and nosy. I figured they needed the closeness for the small reunion. I opened the passenger door quickly, pushing the front seat forward, before I tried to slip in.

"Hey, Jasper," My back stiffened when I realized I was caught, "What are you doing?"

"I thought that maybe he'd want the front." I tossed as casually as I could, but I was pulled away from the car.

"You didn't have to do that. You were fine where you were." I was facing him and his massive boyfriend who gave me a coy smirk.

"Don't worry that pretty little head, blondie," He reached forward, pulling me into the same half hug. It was surprisingly gentle and warm, "So you're Jasper, huh?" He whispered in my ear and my back went tense again.

"Enough, Em," Edward's tone was as tight as my muscles, and I was being guided away from the warm body right to another, although the arms were smaller around my waist.

"Hmm,"I could hear Emmett hum, before a chuckle rumbled through him like thunder, "God, Edward, you're predictable as they come." I wasn't sure what he meant, but it made Edward growl in annoyance, "Alright babe, so all you have to do is take me to Jacob's shop and I'll be out of your way." He winked at me, and I felt a blush creep up to my cheeks. For Edward's boyfriend, he was one hell of a flirt.

"Yes, please," Edward shook his head, before his eyes settled on me, "You alright?" I hadn't fully acknowledged that his arms were loosly around me, resting on the small bulge that was my belly. I nodded, knowing I was half lying. I wasn't sure whether or not I was missing something between the both of them. Emmett looked at us as well, the same question in his eyes, but only with a wide grin on his face.

"I'll let you know if I feel sick, Edward. I'm fine." I assured him.

He frowned, but nodded in understanding, "Alright, Em will get in first-"

"No, I can go first," I argued, "I'm not going to let your boyfriend sit in the back." I mumbled shly, hearing a cackle behind me. Edward stared back at me, shock on his face.

"Oh, this is priceless," Emmett's voice boomed, "Beautiful, the last time I had a rough tumble with Eddy boy here, _Hereoes_ was still quality TV." I didn't understand.

"But I thought.." I gestured between them. They exchanged glances and looked away, Edward looked weary and Emmett, amused.

"No, love," Edward shook his head slowly, "Em is a close friend of mines."

I was embarassed to say the least, "Oh."

"Don't worry about it, sexy," Emmett shrugged, lifting a duffel bag onto his broad shoulders, "I offered many times, but I guess Edward has _standards_ now." He teased.

"You're lucky Jacob isn't here to hear that." Edward grumbled.

Emmett snorted, "It was his idea." They continued to go back and forth, the conversation light. I could only assume that the topic of their intimate relationship came up many times before. They handled the conversation with comfort and ease, both laughing when Edward popped the trunck to his car before Emmett threw his duffel bag in carelessly. Emmett made to get in first, but I questioned whether or not he'd have room in the back. He looked at me, bemused, "Blondie, I've endured worse."

"You won't be comfortable." I argued. I was sure he'd be tight fitted behind me. I was pretty tall myself, but with the limited leg room and his bigger frame, he'd need the space in the front.

"I'm not rooming for two." He said with a twinkle in his eyes. He was trying to win the argument.

"Yeah, but I'm not exactly the size of two." I fired back, then considered whether that sounded offensive, "I mean, you're a tall and built."

He chuckled, "Yeah, I know what you mean, pretty boy." Edward cleared his throat behind him. He turned, letting Edward snag his attention momentarily. Like a sly troublemaker, I dove in the backseat of the car, buckling myself up.

They both watched through the car window, wide eyed, before Emmett let out another earth shattering laugh, "And he's fiesty?" He looked over at Edward, giving his bottom a light slap that made me wince, "A match made in heaven."

Edward slapped his hand away, "Cut it out." He demanded, casting what looked like an apologetic glance my way. I could only assume that Emmett was usually this touchy, since he didn't hold back with me.

"Well, then, I'm bound to the front against my will." Emmett said with fake exasperation. Then, there was a flash in his eyes and he leaned in towards Edward, hand out, whispering something in his ear. It was hard to tell with the afternoon light, but I thought I saw a faint blush in Edward's cheek. Was Emmett saying something intimate? Did I, perhaps fall for a white lie they kept up to perhaps spare my feelings? I couldn't deny that I wanted to know what he was saying. Edward nodded briefly before digging in his pocket and pulled out his keys, handing it to the taller man. I frowned, unsure what was going on. Emmett was going to drive? For what reason? Edward walked to the driver's side, pushing the seat forward, before jumping in next to me with grace.

"Edward, what are you-?"

"Thought you'd like the company." He said too quickly. I was suddenly suspicious as to what Emmett had said to him.

"Alright boys," The booming voice tore through the car. The seat was jerked back to its erect position, "Buckle up. Uncle Emmett is taking us on a ride."

_____

Emmett made the ride memorable. It felt less of a casual drive and more like a race against time. Edward constantly yelled for him to slow down and Emmett casually tossed back that the quicker we got there, the quicker he got out of our hair. Interestingly enough, the car came to a near-crawl when Edward brought up that there were _four _people in the car, not three.

"You didn't have to say that." I whispered over to him as Emmett grumbled in the front. I felt the warmth from his thigh as he adjusted himself to get more comfortable, "And you didn't have to sit back here with me."

"Your health and comfort is number one priority." He said this without looking at me, but I could tell by the focused glimmer in his eye as he looked ahead, that it was a feeling that hit close to the bone. The idea struck me that maybe he was using my condition as a stab for a second chance.

"Yes." I nodded in agreement, "But it's not yours, Edward." The words seemed to befuddle him. He stared at me, green eyes glassy as if...

The car jerked left and I was thrown against him, shook from my position in the car. "Fucking moron!" Emmett yelled, "I'd chop his dick off and stick it in his ass!" He growled, glaring out the window.

"What happened?" Edward asked, looking out as if trying to catch the culprit.

"Some fuckface tried getting into my lane. The cock sucker doesn't know how to check his fucking blindspots!" I blinked at his word choice. He seemed to be simmering down after a street or two, but not without uttering another set of creative profane phrases.

"Interesting vocabulary." I noted, unable to keep back a grin.

"Where do you think I got it from?" His breath fanned against my ear, reminding me how close I was to him. I snapped to realization, feeling the tips of his fingers around my shoulders, most likely from his initial reaction when I fell into him. I noted the belt around my hip, digging into my bone before I thought to pull up.

"I'm sorry I-" I didn't know how to finish, so I simply looked away out the window. We were now pulling up to a small building, with what looked to be an open, wide garage around back.

"Is the belt pressing against your stomach?" He asked, bringing my attention down to my abdomen. Once again, my hands were firmly pressed on my stomach. I frowned, trying to piece together why the hell they settled there naturally.

"Fine." I didn't sound convincing, not even to him.

He lifted a hand, lacing it with my fingers, "Do you want me to call my father?" He said in a small, gentle voice as if not to arouse attention from Emmett.

"No," I shook my head, "I don't know why..."

The car braked suddenly. Emmett parked and turned off the ignition before throwing open the door and getting out. I was able to make out a tall, tanned male standing in a simple oil stained maroon tee and loose jeans. He was built, but not as much as Emmett, yet still enough that I'd believe he could tose me around easily. Emmett ran to him, and to my surprise, wrapped his arms around him, lifting him slightly before giving him a very passionate kiss.

"What's going on?" I asked. Edward followed my stare and he rolled his eyes.

"That," He pointed to the couple, "Is Jacob."

"Emmett's boyfriend?"

Edward nodded, "Yeah," He looked at me and his eyebrows furrowed, "I'm sorry if you believed otherwise. I mean, Emmett and I _did_ have a relationship, but we came to the conclusion that it was better if we didn't continue." He sighed, "Emmett has always been touchy and flirtatious. I'm sorry if it confused you."

"You don't need to explain anything to me, Edward." I assured, "Whatever you've been or are with him is none of my business." The comment seemed to deflate something in his expression. I wasn't sure what, "I'll admit, I was curious, but you don't owe me anything. I appreciate it though." I pushed the passenger seat forward, and opened the door, squeezing myself out. I needed air and a moment to myself. I could feel a shift occuring between me and Edward ever since he told me the story of Alec. What was it that he said he was offering me; a choice? A choice to stay or run, I'm sure, but what if it was something else as well? It seemed the more I learned about him, the more confused I became. Was he only concerned about me because I reminded him so much of a boy he once loved? Was this affection - or whatever you called it - that he had for me was something left over from years before?

Was this relationship with the Cullens a ruse or a second chance at something? the clutch in my chest tightened and I inhaled deeply, willing it to relax. Over in the distance of the small parking lot, I could see Emmett pressed against his boyfriend, whispering something in his ear as the other man fondled him shamelessly in front of the other workers. A green monster bit at my insides. The way their bodies formed into the other, the look on their faces as they heard the whispered words of their lover, I knew just how close they were. How did Edward stomach that after Alec? And how the hell could I after James?

Emmett and Jacob had eventually detached themselves from each other just as Edward slipped out of the car. I didn't expect them to come my way, but they did, with smiles caked onto their faces.

"Baby, this is the infamous Jasper. Blondie, this is my primal bed partner, Jacob." He introduced, getting a raised eyebrow from the russett skinned boy.

"Did he cop a feel?" Jacob asked me straightly, "Because I must say, you're fuckable and Emmett can hardly keep his hands off of pretty things." He didn't sound angry or jealous at all, just amused.

I stammered, feeling my face heat up, "N-no, he was a gentleman." That was a stretch, but he definitely posed no threat to me.

Jacob smiled, flashing me pretty, white teeth before turning to Emmett, "You hear that baby, you're a gentleman," He rolled his eyes, "Fuck if that's true, but it seems you made a good impression." He swatted Emmett's bottom, who mm'd apprently liking it, before turning to me, "Nice to meet you, Jasper." He held out his hand. It was more formal than Emmett's hug, but I didn't mind. I shook his hand and was surprised at the fiery warmth of his touch. He gripped my palm, letting me know he wielded the power I estimated before we ended the brief contact.

"I'll have you know that that's the same hand that pumps my cock every night." Emmett informed, leaning into Jacob before wetly kissing his neck.

"Charming, Em." Jacob said with a snort, "I wash my hands after, don't worry." He added to me. I nodded as if I understood, but really I had no idea how to react. Emmett was quite the character.

"You really shouldn't talk to him like that." I heard Edward say like a scolding father. He walked around the Volvo, giving Emmett a stern look, "Jake, I hadn't seen you in days. You've been busy?" He hugged the tallest of them, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"No, I've been around," Jacob said coyly, "But I can't help but notice that you have been busy with work and a social life." He cocked his head in my direction.

"Babe, they haven't fucked yet." Emmett interjected, getting a glare from Edward, "But Allie predicts something will happen."

"Can you _not _speak to my sister about me." Edward added in irritation. I watched in wonder as they spoke openly about me and Edward. I would have never thought that anyone considered us together. Or was it just typical of the boys to assume that any gay man Edward was in company with, he had known sexually as well? They were men after all.

And what was this about Alice?

"Alice is never wrong." Jacob said with a goofy grin.

"That's right!" Emmett exclaimed, "She said we wouldn't make it out of the car on our first date. And there I was, fucking Jake against the glove compartment. Good times, right honey?" He said in a genuine sweet voice, pecking Jacob's ear.

"The best." Jacob agreed and suddenly they were kissing as if it was the last time they'd ever see each other. I looked away, feeling amused and bothered at the same time as Edward gave a low sigh.

"I'm sorry," He said from next to me, "They can be too much if you're not use to it. It's pretty much normal for me now."

"Was it harder before?" I asked, wincing when I realized that I was obvious in my discomfort.

It took him a moment to answer, but he did eventually, "It nearly killed me the first few times. I didn't speak to Em for weeks, just because it was difficult seeing him into someone else. He was kind of a distraction for me and when he was no longer around, I started thinking of other things." He didn't have to explain what they were. That aching void of touches, comfort and love was enough to keep me busy for days, hence why I never succumbed to it, "It bothers you." He stated, watching my face.

"Not as much as it would have a few weeks ago," I wasn't going to lie, "I actually thought I'd wouldn't be able to handle it..." Well, I might have not if it was Emmett and Edward. Something about Jacob with Edward's ex relieved me more than added stress.

Edward was good at reading between the lines, "Did it bother you when you thought I was with Emmett?" The question was quiet. I had no idea what he was fishing for with my answer, but I wasn't sure I was ready to inform his just yet.

"So I'm thinking," Emmett seemed to cut our conversation short, "Pizza and a movie." Jacob and him were now casually standing side by side. If I wouldn't have known better, I would have assumed they were best friends rather than lovers. They stood so close to each other, but remarkably had their hands to themselves.

"Yeah, that's something I'm down for," Jacob added, "We just bought _Smokin' Aces _and _The Matrix_, seeing how I pretty much sold my movie stash when I was a starving student." Jacob added with a discontent sigh, "We were thinking action night, a lot of macho men grunts and beer."

"I'll show you a man grunt." Emmett added with a snicker. Jacob seemed to ignore him save the small smirk on his lips.

"What do you boys say?"

Edward bit his lips, "We were supposed to go out to lunch."

"Pizza can be lunch too." Emmett pointed out.

Edward looked to me, asking with gentle eyes, "Is that something you'll be up for?" I hesitated to answer. It had been years since I had done anything remotely social. Even in my years with James, I was only ever in and out of the house when it came to A.I.S appointments. Granted, I had dinners with Bella, but that was nowhere close to being invited to someone's house to hang out. I knew I'd risk a freak-out if I was witness to more displays of affection, but a good movie would be a welcoming distraction and it wasn't like I'd be alone...

I made up my mind, "Yes. That's fine," I nodded, "I mean, if it's alright if I come."

"Of course, it's alright, Blondie." Emmett snorted, "Why do you think we offered." He shrugged.

"I have to finish off for today," Jacob spoke up, "But we could meet at our apartment. I'll only be 10 minutes." I put two and two together, realizing that he worked at the shop. It was clearly obvious with his casual attire and occasional smudge of oil on his shirt and arms.

"Jake will be my ride," Emmett informed, "You know where the spare is?" He asked Edward who nodded, "Alright!" He beamed, following Jacob back to the building.

"We don't have to stay long." Edward assured me, "One movie and we can leave. Whatever you want."

I nodded, "I think I'll be good for the night." I gave him a weak smile, "Thanks."

As we turned to the car, I could hear the fading voices of Emmett and Jacob.

"Mmm, baby. When's my car going to be done? I know it's Pro boner work and all, but a man needs his wheels."

"It's _Pro Bono_, Em and it should be ready for you by tomorrow."

"God, has anyone told you that you're _fucking _sexy as a mechanic?"

"Yes. You. Daily."

"Fuck yeah, I do."

I couldn't contain the smirk as I got in the car. Edward caught it and grinned himself, "What a pair, right?"

_____

We parked up the block from their apartment and walked the shady sidewalk down to the spanish style property of _Pueblo Park Apartments._ There was an overabundance of trees and plants, that it was almost hard to find my way through to the private stairs leading to the wide door, even when I trailed behind Edward. From what I could make out, it seemed that the apartment was very much like my own, with a wrap around patio leading to a backdoor, with a nice view of the neighborhood and adjacent street. I followed Edward around the patio to the back where a few gym machines were splayed under a overhanging. Edward knowingly marched to an outdoor punching bag, ducked down, reaching under the heavy base before pulling out a key.

"You do this often?" I asked, following him back around to the front door, where he unlocked and opened it allowing me in first.

"I house sit for them when they go out of town." He answered, before joining me inside. He turned to a panel by the door, pressing a few keys before the panel beeped and a woman's voice said, "_Resident alarm disarmed."_

"Why do you house sit?" I asked, but just then I heard a distant meow from the depths of the apartment. I only caught the glow of two eyes before a shadow passed, dodging into a room.

"Lion." He nodded his head in the direction of the occupied room, "It used to be him and Bear, but he passed a few months ago. He was only a puppy." He placed the key on an end desk by the door, "I can't even mention him without Em getting all mopey."

I pouted, not liking the news. Animals were like children to me. I hated bad endings for them, "That must've been rough."

"His first baby." Edward added sadly. He walked over the hardwood floor, motioning towards a grey sectional in the living room, "You can sit down. They'll be home soon." I walked over towards the couch, taking a sit enjoying how my back automatically relaxed against the fluffy cushion, "I'll call the pizza place." Edward added, disappearing behind a round archway. I was able to make him out through the wide window in the wall, fumbling with something on the fridge. I heard him speaking into his phone, ordering up the meal and I relaxed onto the couch once again, taking in the living room. It wasn't massive, but yet it was able to fit in a wall length entertainment section, complete with a hung TV, various cubies filled with DVDs and game consoles and a stereo. The wall was decorated with small hanging speakers in the corners, a few framed photos of various cities and places, a photo of an adorable, small black puppy held in Emmett's arms and a framed jersey hung on the wall just over the couch. In yellow, bold letters I made made out **McCarty** and and the number **20**. I noted that this must have been Emmett's football jersey when he was attending USC.

"Alright. Thanks." Edward spoke into his phone before ending the call, "Okay, the pizza and wings will be here in 40 minutes." He was back in the living room, phone in hand, "Are you okay with pizza? Fuck, I should have asked. I don't know if it's okay for-"

"It's fine, Edward." It was amazing how worked up he got over my health, "You don't have to worry about me. I'm not your responsibility." His face fell, but he nodded, taking a seat on the other side of the couch.

"Am I becoming overbearing?" He asked smally.

"No," And that was the truth, "I just don't want you to feel validated in your concerns because you and your family have a history with this." God, that came out wrong and I could see it in his eyes. It hurt him when I said that. I tried to restate what I meant, "What happened to you, I can't express how sorry I am about it, but please don't confuse the situation. This concern you have about my health, has nothing to do with me or my child, but your past. I'm accepting your family's help because in a way, I'll be of help as well, but there is no need to fool yourselves into thinking that you care." The look in his eyes hardened.

"You think I'm _pretending_?" He scoffed. It seemed unlike what I had seen from him so far, "Jasper, I know that I know _nothing _ about you, and my family, well, I can't speak for them, but I know how I feel and it's not because I'm fooling myself."

"I didn't mean to insult you Edward." I stammered, knowing I crossed the line. He was upset with me. I didn't like how that made me feel. It was as bad as the constant nausea I had only a week before. My body felt weak, my heart pumped fiercly against my chest. I literally feared what he would say next.

"You didn't," He corrected, "You're insulting yourself." I wasn't expecting that, "Like I said, I know nothing about you, well, I'll be lying if I said nothing, because there are some things I've learned and one of them is that you don't know how much you're worth." Oh God, I definitely wasn't expecting that, "What happened with Alec opened our eyes. It wouldn't have mattered if he wasn't in our lives, you still would have became part of ours. The only difference would have been how long it took. I don't think my parents would have been as persistent if they didn't have a history with this. That is all."

"But what about you?" My voice cracked. That was the real mystery. If what Edward said was true, why would _he_ care?

He leaned onto his knees, staring at his open palms, "You're strong, but you're a runner like me. There's a part of me that understands and connects with that. I know what it's like to run, to right yourself while keeping everyone else away. That, and because I've never met anyone like you Jasper. You're an enigma."

My feelings exactly.

The day was becoming a riddle I had to carefully piece together and figure out. What was it about me that confused him? My hands shook in my lap and I jerked them under my thigh, hoping that would help a bit. Being as observant as he was, Edward noticed.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry, if I've upset you." He slid across the couch, planting himself next to me. I wanted so much for him to touch me. A hand on the knee, a hug - anything. I just needed to know someone was there, he was there.

"The only man that ever cared for me left," It slipped out, "It scares me to know that any of you care. I can't be worth anything. You can't care." and a new wave of rumbles shot through me.

Warm arms were wrapped around my waist, holding me in place, "Why?"

"Because you'll leave." The grip in my chest was back, "Everyone will leave."

"Jasper, believe me when I say this, _I _am not going anywhere." He said it with such conviction, my body shuddered violently, "And no one else will." It never occured to me how much I needed to hear that. I nodded dumbly, feeling my muscles loosen and my upper body fall into him as he massaged small circles into my back.

_____

Jacob and Emmett bursted in a half hour later in mid-banter. The apartment had fallen silent after my conversation with Edward and the rest of our alone time was spent on the couch, soon to be joined by lion, an orange, short haired cat who was vocal and affectionate with Edward, purring quite loudly when he stroked him.

"Babe," Emmett pressed, "I'm only saying once. If it made you comfortable, I'll just watch."

"Fuck, Em, will you ever be satisfied?" Jacob scowled, tossing Emmett's duffel bag at his feet, "What if I enjoyed it too much? What would you do?"

"I'd kick his ass." Emmett said with a shrug.

Edward sighed next to me, picking Lion up and placing him on the floor, "What is it now? A neighbor downstairs?"

"No," Jacob huffed, "My client." He walked past the living room, turning into the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

"He was fucking beautiful." Emmett sighed, "I caught Jacob looking so I threw in the offer."

"Just because Jake looks, doesn't mean he wants it." Edward rolled his eyes. It must have been a common issue.

"Why do you suggest threesomes?" I asked, probably overstepping my boundries, but from what I read of Emmett so far, it would probably take much more to do that.

"I just want my baby happy." Emmett plopped on the couch next to us. Lion followed, curling up on his lap.

I bit my lip, casting a side glance at Edward who chuckled to himself, "Have you ever considered that maybe he's happy already just with you?" I threw in shyly. I saw the way they were with each other. I doubted anyone could squeeze in between them if they tried.

Emmett gave me a weird look before snorting, "God, I swear Alice was right. Edward would fit in you like a glove."

"Emmett." Edward growled. I couldn't hide the blush that burned my ears like a fire. Jacob appeared back in the living room, this time donning a vintage Thundercats tee with sweatpants.

"We're out of lube." He said flatly, planting himself next to Emmett. I had to hide my face in my hands this time, Emmett's comment replaying in my mind along with the idea of lubrication. I hadn't really thought about sex with anyone in months. There was a sharp knock on the door, stirring the cat's calm. With a pounce, he was off Emmett's lap and out of the living room.

Emmett stood up, looking over his shoulder, "I can always tongue your ass before." He said with a beaming grin before throwing open the door, "Food's arrived!" He exclaimed.

"The money's on the kitchen counter." Edward called out.

"Fuck that." Jacob scowled, getting up onto his feet, "We invited you, we're paying."

"I ordered extra though. It's going to be a little more pricey."

"When is it ever not pricey?" Jacob asked with a kink of an eyebrow gestering between him and Emmett who was handling three pizza boxes and a small box on top of it. Jacob grabbed his wallet from the the end table, fishing for two twenties before handing it to the pizza man, hidden by Emmett's massive shoulders.

Edward got to his feet, gesturing for me to stay down as I made to follow, "I'll get your plate, okay?" He offered. I eyed him suggesting that I was big enough to get it myself, but he ignored the look, "Pepporoni?" He asked.

"Did you get anything with olives and bell peppers?" I asked. A simple cheese pizza was usually satisfying enough, but with the light meals of the day, I felt myself suddenly ravenous.

He nodded, a complimenting smile on his face, "I figured you'd want something like that." He backed away, assisting Emmett with the boxes, as Jacob waved bye to the delivery boy before closing the door and padding over to the kitchen to get some plates. I felt helpless there, sitting on the couch, hands comfortably folding over the small mound of my stomach. Lion came back out, sniffing the air, head held high, before trotting over to the couch, curling up in Emmett's spot. Not a minute later, Edward reappeared with two plates, both with two slices of hand tossed pepperoni slices with olives, green peppers and even onions. I eyed them hungerily getting a laugh from Edward as he lowered one for me.

"Is there anything you want to drink?"

"Gin and tonic sounds fantastic." I grumbled, knowing that was out of the question. The look on his face said the same, "Orange juice?" He nodded, placing his plate on the round coffee table before back tracking to the kitchen. Jacob was already standing in front of the TV, putting a DVD in, turning on the all needed electronics. There was an audible click throughout the room as he powered the stereo. Emmett came marching in with two plates and two bottles of beer evenly balanced in his thick arms. He graciously set them on the coffee table before glancing at me.

"I would offer some Corona, but you know, Jazzy Jr. isn't old enough." Emmett nodded towards my stomach.

"What makes you think Jasper carrying a boy?" Jacob asked, climbing over Emmett's legs as he took a sit on his left, reaching over to pet Lion before grabbing a slice of pizza.

"Uncle Emmett knows." He seemed sure of himself. I didn't know how to comment that. I always considered saving the knowledge of my child's gender for the birth.

Edward was back again, settling down close to me, handing me a tall glass of orange juice, a straw conveniently placed in it. I said my thanks and took a sip, loving the sweet tangy taste. The film opened up to the menu and Jacob pressed play. Lion scattered just as the movie built up with action and music. For the first time that day, my mind and body were simultaneously at ease. I finished my two slices, as did Edward and without a question, he took my plate to get more. Emmett was already on what looked to be his fifth slice and Jacob was finishing his fourth. The movie had barely been on for 15 minutes. They were comfortably curled up on the couch, snickering and making comments about Ryan Reynolds and what they'd do if they had alone time with him.

After about 45 minutes in, I had finished my fourth slice and second cup of orange juice. Jacob and Emmett made it through the two boxes of pepperoni and 3 beer bottles each. I had never seen the film before, so my attention was taken. On occasion I heard the snickers and smacking from the other side of the couch, but that eventually died down as the action picked up. By the end credits though, Jacob was already in Emmett's lap, lips to neck, getting a groan from the bigger man.

"Guys, really?" Edward whined, getting up to replace the DVD with the next movie, "We don't need a free show."

"Limited time offer." Emmett grinned toothily over Jacob's shoulder to him. I trained my eyes on the TV. My skin burned, especially knowing I was in the same room with Edward who was seeing this. He said he was use to it, but I clearly wasn't. There was a heavy moan before Jacob jumped off of Emmett, pulling him by the hand off the couch.

"Give us a minute." Jacob excused them, "We'll be right back."

"Fuck, give us an hour." Emmett growled, pinching Jacob from under his shirt. They were able to make it to their room, a muffled thud shuddered the apartment before there was a roar-like laugh.

"Sorry, Jas." Edward appeared troubled by their behavior, yet I couldn't help but notice that he called me three nicknames that entire day. My mind was nowhere near what they were doing in the next room. Something had definitely changed between us today.

"It's not a bad thing, Edward," I claimed lightly, "They seem to have a healthy relationship. How long have they been together?"

"Two years." I blinked at the answer. They were so wound up in each other as if it had only been a few months, but I supposed if they were living together, it had to be well over a year they would have been in a relationship. Men didn't necessarily jump into sharing spaces with a lover if they could help it.

"Yeah, I know." Edward chuckled, knowingly, "We can leave..."

I shook my head, "I haven't seen _The Matrix_ in awhile," It had literally been years since I sat back and watched an entire movie, let alone two without falling asleep or getting up to do something. He smiled sweetly, playing the movie before sitting at my side.

"Ugh! Fuck, Em!" was the only outcry I heard through the walls thankfully after about 40 minutes into the movie. Within ten minutes of that, Emmett stumbled out of the room in loose striped pajama bottoms and a wide grin on his lips.

"He'll be with us momentarily," He plopped himself on the opposite side of the sectional, "There's still a bit of me in him."

"Em, come on-" I cut off Edward with a noise, I probably hadn't made in quite awhile - laughter. I knew the sexual relationship between Emmett and Jacob made me uneasy, but there was something about them that made it less threatening than I feared. I understood Emmett's light hearted attitude, and it wasn't a shock that I actually found him funny.

"Well, someone enjoys my company, Eddy." Emmett tossed smugly, before turning back to the film.

Edward eyed me curiously, "You shouldn't encourage him." He joked. 15 minutes or later, Jacob came emerged from the hallway, slightly damp and wearing a new set of sweats. Without a comment, he plopped down next to Emmett. That was all much I could remember, before hearing a massive explosion. I jerked up, staring at the screen of raining sprinklers over Agents. I looked up to Edward, noticing I had fell asleep onto his shoulder.

His green eyes glowed even in the dark of the room. He leaned down to whisper if I wanted to go, but I declined, saying I wanted to finish the movie, but something deep in my gut just wanted this moment to last longer; being normal, enjoying a movie with pizza, not having to be alone, being so close to him. His warmth felt so much like James, only safer, suffocatingly so. I allowed myself one moment of vulnerability, letting him scoop my shoulders with his arms as I fell onto his chest, lulled back to a light slumber by his heartbeat. I let myself wonder for a moment, was this what it felt like for the child inside me? Warmth and a heartbeat? Security?

**AN: ** This is pretty much the starting platform for Jasper and Edwards relationship. Granted, there are quite a few obstacles before any intimacy happens (Jasper's...uh...situation) but we're well on our way. Let me know what you think so far. Next week, Jasper enters his second trimester!


	9. Sixteen Weeks Part 1

**AN: **I've had this done for a few days, but just couldn't bring myself to put it up. I felt this chapter was too much of a log, rather than a series of events. I'm hoping I'm just being too critical. This chapter takes place over the course of 4 weeks, ending just as the 16th week begins. And sadly, there isn't much Edward, but the chapter that follows this...will pretty much be all him. I can guarantee that.

Characters not owned by I.

____

**Chapter Nine: 16 Weeks I**

After the movie, I was gingerly shaken awake, "It's time to go, love." I heard him whisper in my ear.

"Time is it?" I slurred sleepily, yawning.

"Only 7, but you've been up awhile and I'm sure the medication keeps you winded." He helped me up on to my feet, mumbling goodbyes to both Jacob and Emmett. I felt strong arms embrace me in a loose hug before the thundering chuckle echoed against my chest.

"Maybe next time we'll try some place public." Emmett suggested, clearly apologising for his quick romp, "But, I can't make promises even then."

"I'm sure we'll be seeing you soon, Jasper." It was Jacob's turn to hug me. I noticed his touch was significantly wamer in temperature, his arms just as loose around me. Edward guided me out of the apartment, keeping me close to him so that I wouldn't stumble over him in my drunken sleep daze. He helped me in the car, and soon we were on the road.

"I'm so sorry I-" I yawned, "fell asleep."

"Don't apologise." He said sweetly, "You looked so comfortable..."

"Mmm," I hummed in agreement, "I was." My head lolled to the side as I again fell into a quick slumper. I awoke again, this time to my name being called.

"Jasper, love, we're here." He was unbuckling me out of me seat, "I'm going to walk you up, okay?"

"I'm fine." I argued weakly. That wasn't proof enough for him. He helped me upstairs, into the apartment and even into my bed. I protested weakly, only to fall into a deep sleep seconds later.

____

The next day I woke to a folded letter on my nightstand, telling me Edward put my keys and the leather journal on the coffee table in the living room upstairs. I began the day with my prescription taking and had took some notes in the journal soon after. And the day continued on with the trip to the A.I.S office. I was told my next visit would be pretty extensive. The Expecting Care meeting the next day was better than any before. I found myself talking more, sharing the news of my new cravings for different foods and my better health over the last seven days. Tanya was absent, but Esme informed us that she was fine. She was getting ready for her daughter's arrival.

The meeting ended and I was invited to a group dinner, Esme included. I was suddenly wanting more of a social life, a warmth of friends and stories. It was a frightful experience, but a piece of me was willing. The week continued on with daily phone calls to Bella and an occasional quick chat with Alice. I wasn't sure how to thank Edward or call him, but as the week passed, his face became a painting on the slate of my mind. It was hard getting him out - very hard.

Carlisle visited me the next Monday, considering he had the first half of the day off and was willing to drive down. He seemed a bit anxious, worry lines drawn onto his face, but he kept our conversation light.

When our appointment was over, Carlisle, with a heavy sigh finally spoke, "Jasper," He relaxed on the living sofa, hands clasped on his knees, "Tomorrow, I understand you have a very important appointment with the A.I.S. They'll be prepping you for your second trimester. Son, if anything happens during the examination - anything that makes you uncomfortable - call me."

I knew Carlisle meant well, but the next morning I was more scared my of A.I.S doctor than ever before. By the time I walked into the structure that looked more like a corporate building, I was shaking. I was called in from the empty waiting room, knowing my way around, I padded across the white tiled floor and entered the small room with a leather chair extended out for fitted for a psychiatrist client than a pregnant man. My Doctor stepped in a few minutes later, holding a clipboard like most doctors would, but with the wire framed glasses and suit, she looked ready for a business meeting, not a check-up. I had grown accostumed to this look and feel, but in my new fitted terror, everything seemed off - way off.

"Jasper, honey, what is wrong?" Her voice was tender as always, but I couldn't help but imagine a sickening fallacy about it. I had known her for over a year, but with the images of Edward's story and Carlisle's warning, everything just suddenly...caught up. When I didn't answer, she settled at the end of the chair, leaning in as a mother would and checked my skin, my pulse and stared at her watch for what seemed like hours, "Well, your heart rate is spiked, but you feel fine. Have you been having panic attacks?" She frowned, noticing that I still wasn't responding, "What is it, Jasper? I'm here to help you?"

I blinked back at her, re-evaluating her words. I knew Carlisle did his research, and it really was because of him I felt better, wasn't sleeping 3/4 of the day away and actually had less irrational emotional tantrums. I thought of Alec, neglected and fading away. The doctors had to have seen this, right? With every weekly visit - they had to. And they let it him die? I felt my features harden as a bubble of anger rised in my chest. My hand went protectively onto the bump growing in me and I unleashed the fury in two words, "Are you?"

She seemed taken back. She rose to her feet, hands clutching the clipboard, and just when I thought she was going to stand there all day, she replied, "I am, Jasper. I know this is a difficult process and tedious for you, but I need to make sure you and your child are healthy," and then, as if the something occured to her, she decided to ask, "Where's James?"

"I told you he's been travelling." I lied. I knew if I admitted to being single, there was a chance my baby could be taken from me. One of the requirements for becoming a patient under the A.I.S, was to be long term partners, unionized was preferred, but we never were. James made up for it with the hefty deposit he gave. Another requirement, was that you needed to have at least $10,000 as an initial payment to the ward. It wasn't yet covered under insurence, so as a 21 month process, it costed the staff and doctors a lot for the tests and growing of an artificial uterus and placenta.

"Maybe if he was here with you, this wouldn't be as stressful," She looked worried, "What we're going to do today might cause discomfort and with James-"

"I think it would be healthy not to bring him up during any more of my appointments." I said softly, hoping I wasn't being to obvious, "He's been very busy and will be for the remaining months of my pregnancy. He's preparing for the baby, you see..." I hoped that was enough, it had to be enough to satisfy her curiosity.

"Then who is helping you at home?"

I bit my lip, trying to ascertain what exactly Bella, Edward and his family were, "Some friends are helping me." James had always shared personal stories with her, so I was very much aware that she knew I kept to myself and had little to no associates. I had, in the year I known her, never made mention of friends or even family for that matter.

"Friends?" She relaxed her hand on the clipboard, but her blue eyes seemed more focused on me than ever.

"Yeah, at Expecting Care. They have been very helpful." That seemed believable, right?

"Oh," and any idea that may have been in her mind was quickly gone, "Well, Jasper, I wish I have known about James absenteeism for the remainder of your pregnancy. The office wouldn't have mind waiting a few months. I was hoping he would be here, but judging he hasn't came with you in over 8 weeks, I should have been the wiser." It had only been that long? "I told him in detail what the 12 week mark means for you and how he'd be needed," She dug in her pockets and to my surprise pulled out latex gloves. I had only ever seen her with those on if she was using a needle, "I have told you that this procedure will be a few hours, but assuming that your partner would be here, I didn't mention that it would be unsafe to have you drive home and stay in alone. Can you call a friend or...?" She snapped the gloves on and looked at me expectantly.

It was an early morning on a Tuesday. I never made any contact with the Cullens on this day. It was the only time I really needed to myself, but now, against my own will, I had to inject somone in my life. My mind sped through the people. Carlisle came to mind, only because he offered, but I knew if I called, that would be opening the door to me giving up my privacy. I just wasn't ready yet. Then there was Edward. Something in my chest tightened at the thought of him picking me up after the procedures. I knew I wasn't going to be in a right state, and having him see me in my weak condition, I just couldn't put him through that again. Alice and Esme always seemed to be able, but they had the connections to Carlisle and Edward. Bella was the last to come to mind, only because she was wasn't in the condition and thinking back to the fight her and her husband had made me choose to forget it.

"Yeah," I lied, "I do." I had made up my mind. And even though, I knew Edward would have been furious if he found out, at least I could say that I considered them first. My doctor gave me a nod then asked if I should call them, but I stated that my ride was close enough to call after the procedures. She then asked for me to lift my shirt, so she could check to see how the baby was settling in my belly.

____

I didn't have the waist of a woman, so I was told that they'd be some slight pelvic discomfort. I had new presciptions and was told that I wouldn't have to worry about shaving for the remainder of my pregnancy; no facial hair will grow. I was warned about the mild hysteria during my second trimester and the rise of my libido by the third. And through all this was informing, I was in intense pain. I was laid back down on the leather chair, staring up at a ceiling that could have easily been the same ceiling just above a cubicle at an insurence building. I recalled the needle going in my stomach, the fluid that floated into the glass tube, the pricks of of needles in my arms, the painful snake like tube that pushed against my belly button...All this to check and see if all my artificial one-time use organs were working right. A few hours later, I was leaning back in her office, hearing her speak words, wondering when I could leave. She said I could wait in the room until my ride came. I called as soon as she gave me some privacy. 15 minutes, I was told, before they'd show up. I waited 10 and left the office, then the building, until I was standing by the parking lot, where soon a cab pulled up. I stumbled inside, got a worried look from the driver, before I gave the address.

It was under Carlisle's rule that I not drive at all, so the cab service was on my speed dial. It was how I got to the A.I.S, but coming from the office, I had an idea it would be different. I considered a ride, because I knew that when my doctor requested someone take care of me, she she meant for the rest of the day. I got out of the cab, nearly falling over like a drunk. The shaking I was doing before the appointment was nothing like after. It took nearly 5 minutes to get the key in the front door to the building. Eventually, the cab driver got out and helped me. I made it upstairs okay, but faced another 30 minutes by my front door, fumbling with my keys again. I was able to throw the door open and without watching it close behind me, I stumbled into bed, shivering as if I had been naked in a blizzard, but sweating as if in a sauna. I felt my stomach tighten uncomfortably, but before I could ponder what it was, my world became nothing.

____

There was the ring of my phone waking me up. I reached for my nightstand and answered, but that was all I remembered. Then later, there was the familiar sound of my door closing. I turned over in an attempt to get up, but there was no energy left in me. I was still shaking, but the warmth of my quilt kept me more comfortable.

"Jasper?" I heard a voice, but couldn't answer, "Jasper? Fuck, please be okay." And I felt the cold hand on my chest, everywhere. My body had a rough spasm, that I came to understand was just a violent shiver. I was turned on my back, my cheeks stroked, two fingers pressed to my neck and then a panicked voice, "Dad! He's not responding to me. He's not moving!" And a rumble of an unheard voice, "Yes, he's breathing..." and the voice faded. I tried to concentrate on how it made my chest grow warm. I could still feel those fingers - everywhere. It made me think of Edward.

____

It felt wet and warm. My eyes flew open and I craned my neck both ways, catching her the second time I looked, "You nearly gave everyone a heart attack." She said, though no worry was on her face, "I've never seen Edward _and _Bella panic at the same time. I would have been amused if your health wasn't involved." Her green eyes shone with something I didn't quite get.

"W-what happened?" I croaked. I didn't sound like myself at all.

"Well, from what I know," She leaned in next to me. Her whole body was already on the bed, but now I could feel the warmth from her small arm, "Dad was aware of your appointment, so knowing you, he called to make sure everything was okay, but," And she gave me a weird smile, "when you answered, you were speaking in tongues. In fact, dear old dad was only able to make out one word."

"What was it?"

"Edward." She smirked and my skin burned, "So, scared shitless, dad calls Edward, Edward speeds over here and sees your apartment door open. I could only imagine what was going through his mind then," She commented, "And when he gets to you, you're in your bed, sweating like you're in Nevada heat and shivering and you won't wake up." It was then I saw the worry cross her face, "Jasper, you really need to exercise the word 'help'."

I said Edward's name, I brought him to me and I scared him, "But, I didn't know..." I started, but I did. I had an idea, but I just didn't feel worth the trouble.

"Yeah," She said with a knowing nod as if she followed my train of thought, "My dad, my mom, damn there anyone would have dropped what they were doing and got you. Do you know how many times Esme had calls from the single expecting mothers before? Some who couldn't buy food, others who were incapable of making it out of bed. It's her duty to be here for you."

The warmth on my head slid off. I lifted a weak hand to grab it. It was a folded wash cloth, "I'm different, Alice."

Alice sat up, peaking at me in my dark room, "You're right, you are." She said, "You're alone. You have no one out here that can take care of you and for whatever reason, your parents aren't in your life. There had been those that were alone, and those that had been pregnant, but never those that had been both, not since..." And she stopped, "Not that that's the reason Bella or Edward were going apeshit." She shrugged, sitting up.

"I'm sorry if I've upset them. I've been trying to avoid that." I lifted my head, checking to see if my body could handle that, and when I felt no pain or dizziness, I sat up in the bed.

"You have an avoiding problem," Alice said plainly, "If you would have called, all the hysteria would have been spared."

"Where are they?" I was suddenly compelled to apologize in person. I threw my blanket off of me, ready to step foot off of the bed.

"Nuh-uh," I felt Alice's hand curl around my wrist, "At ease, soldier. They left last night. They were nearly on the bed with you. After dad left, I kicked them out. Bella had to go back to Mike who was going on a sleeping strike until she came home and Edward has a trip back up to Burbank today, so he needed rest."

"Today?"

"Yeah, today." She nodded, "You were out for about 20 hours." I let out an agitated groan. I thought I was past the narcolepsy, "Don't fret. I knew you'd be hungry, so I have steaming eggs, hash browns and waffles waiting for you. I'll set up a plate and bring it down." She kept her hand on my wrists, until I settled back in the bed, "Thadda boy."

_____

Alice wouldn't leave my side for three whole days. She drove me to the meeting, where Esme arrived with Rosalie. Rosalie kept quiet and for the first time, sat between Bella and Esme. Alice, I noticed, kept like she didn't mind, but considering how her spark died at that meeting, I knew it affected her. I wondered if their problem - whatever it may be - had anything to do with Alice babysitting me.

By Friday, when Alice left, Carlisle came in to visit. He asked questions, what procedures I went through and how I felt afterwards. He stayed with me nearly the whole day, discussing anything and everything related to my child, before we moved on to other subjects like his life as a doctor in Seattle and how he met his wife. By the time 10 P.M hit, Esme arrived with a small duffel bag. I was confused for a moment, but then caught on. They were keeping me in line of sight, because like Alice said "I had an avoiding problem".

They didn't need to say. I knew this was for my health, but as a week passed and I realized that both Esme and Alice were becoming too comfortable with their sleeps on my couch and cooking and cleaning after me, and taking me out for walks and grocery shopping, I just had to put my foot down. I enjoyed their company more than I thought I ever would, but I was getting in the way of their lives and they didn't trust me enough to live mine. By my 14th week, with no signs of Edward and little time with Bella, I explained to Esme, who was currently keeping an eye on me, that although they had my endless gratitude, both her and Alice, had a home to be at. I understood where Alice's stubborness came from. It took all the effort and pursuasion I had,(reminding Esme that she still needed to see Tanya, whom, after waiting over a week just given birth to her daughter Kate) until finally Esme gave in.

But not without me promising that I answer each and every call that any of the Cullens made.

____

My following A.I.S appointments were as normal as the ones prior to my 12th week visit and by my 15th week, everyone else was back to normal. Bella, at our expecting Care meeting, reported that she was now entering her third trimester and Rosalie, who seemed to be in higher spirits, expressed both excitment and fear over her child who was due in about two months. We greeted a new girl, Victoria, a volumptious red head who couldn't have been more than my age. She spoke about her boyfriend Riley, whom in a panic, broke up with her because she came out to him about her pregnancy. There was no fear or hurt in her eyes, but a calloused hardness. She shrugged it off, stating that she didn't need him, nor anybody and I envied her. What I wouldn't give to feel that way, to look at the world and stick my chin out with a smile and strut on. Victoria, even in her condition had it easy, where she didn't need anyone, no one needed me.

____

And the bulge grew. I couldn't fit into my jeans as well and my shirts were tighter around my belly. I could still see my toes and didn't have too much discomfort with anything else just yet, but I could swear that the bulge was getting larger by the minute. And as it grew, my desire grew - desire to see Edward again. And I wasn't sure why. Everynight since, I questioned why it was his name I said. Why I kept retracking everything back to Alec, why I nearly lost my nerve and lashed out at my A.I.S. doctor, when she had been nothing but kind to me. And then, like everything else, I asked why I hadn't seen or heard from him in three weeks. He was so close, yet he never forced his way into my home, stating that he was staying for a few days. He didn't call, but to be fair, neither did I. And why would I? Other than to apologize and thank him for taking care of me. But if Alice said that he was so upset, wouldn't he be checking up on me like Bella did whenever she had the chance? Wouldn't he have stopped by to see that I was well and to see me growing? Or was it just that? I was growing. Did it switch him off, make him think about Alec? Did I scare him so much, he came to his sense, knowing that being around me was more trouble than he needed?

And that's when I would sit up in my bed in a terror.

For the first time in awhile, I couldn't get any sleep.

_____

I was entering my second trimester. As I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, pills lined up for me on the counter, I stared the mound of flesh and the round belly button peaking out just above the boxer rim and I couldn't contain the growing fear and excitement. The being inside me was growing. My A.I.S. doctor agreed. She was nearly beaming when she saw me walk in the office. With our regular check-up, she claimed that my child was healthy and when I was ready, she'd be happy to give me a sonograph. I scheduled it for the following week. A buried energy in me, exploded out and I was walking on air for the rest of the day. With just recently, letting go of the only job I had, there was much more time at home, so I spent it, cleaning up, reorganizing some junk in the second room and deciding what color it would be in the months following; pink or blue? Or perhaps, purple or red? I hadn't smiled for so long in such a long time.

By Wednesday morning of my 16th week, I was already preparing for the day. I started out with my daily dose of medicine, a relaxing bubble bath and a brief read of a book I had found during one of my shopping trips with Alice; _A Mother and a Father's Joy; The Journey Through Pregnancy._ It was very much like a novel and a guidebook, explaining the tale of Marcus and Olivia Carbro, a happy couple in Maine going through the motions of their child to be. It kept me enthralled longer than I expected, and before I knew it, there was a knock on the door downstairs. Esme had taken to picking me up before meetings, so I expected her when I walked down the narrow stairway to the door, but I got the last person I ever expected – Edward.

**AN: **I can tell a lot of you liked Emmett and Jacob. Last chapter was one of my favorites to write so far. They are very important in the story, so there will be much of them later on and throughout the chapters. Next chapter we learn just why Edward was away. Tell me what you think so far and if you caught...a slight foreshadow.


	10. Sixteen Weeks Part 2

**AN: ** I believe this is my longest chapter yet. I had decided to add a secondary story to the chapter, considering that there are a few more characters that we didn't know enough about. I just want to remind you that although Jasper and Edward are the main characters, there are others whose stories inter-weaves with their own. Everyone else has problems and life dilemmas too, right?

And for those of you with questions about Jasper's pregnancies, here are some answers – He will carry the child for 9 months, like a normal pregnancy, but since his the water won't break and he has no vaginal canal for a child to come out of, he will have a C-section and his last month of carrying will be monitored.

Characters Not Owned By Me.

**____**

**Chapter Ten: 16 Weeks II**

I was lost, confused, perhaps even a bit scared. I didn't know why he would suddenly show up at my door, not after I had proven to myself that he needed to stay away, that he wanted to. I took him in, thin, brown v-neck with an odd emblem on the left breast, a pair of loose fitting, authentically damaged jeans and Converse. His hair, wild as it usually was, lay in a bronze disarray, shadowing his left eye. He stood, with his weight on one leg, juggling his keys in a nervous manner. His cheeks were slightly flushed and he wore a forced grin.

It didn't look like he wanted to be here.

I sighed, realizing what was going on, "Edward, it's fine if Esme was busy," I tried to ignore my own shaking voice, "There are other ways for me to get to the meeting."

He pocketed his keys, before throwing a hand up to cup the back of his neck, "I'm here because I offered to pick you up."

He had to be lying, "Why?"

He bit into his bottom lip and I couldn't help but notice how pink they were, "It was the only excuse I had." I stared at him, shocked that he could be so honest. He didn't think I'd ask why. He thought I'd just take his lie?

"Alright," I couldn't hide it then. My voice shook, "You're off the hook." I made to close the door, but he protested.

"Wait, Jasper!" He looked panicked, "I know you don't want to see me, but please, I just want to know. Why did you say my name?"

I froze in the doorway, not sure what exactly was going on, "I never said I didn't want to see you..." Had I missed something? And he was asking about...?

"When you didn't call, I assumed..." His voice trailed off and for the first time I could see a restraint - He looked as if he was holding back.

I felt a pang in my chest. Was he upset because I didn't call him from the A.I.S office to let him know my condition? Did he feel some obligation? "I really didn't think it would be worth your time, Edward."

He stepped forward, a look of determination on his face, "Of course it is, if I leave you all my contacts and offer to do it."

Yes, there was clearly something I was missing, "Offered?"

"Jasper, the note I left you the night I dropped you home." He stated, as if trying to spark a memory.

"I didn't..." I read the note, but no numbers, no offer.

And then clarity struck both of us, "Oh," And there was relief in his eyes, before he explained, "I left you a note on the nightstand, telling you where I put your keys and journal," He rolled his eyes, "But I was foolish to fold it in half, because on the other side, I gave you my lists of contacts including Jacob and Emmett's number if you needed a ride to the A.I.S office, since my father is adament that you not drive." Whatever weight I had felt over the last few weeks, lifted. He never made contact, because he was waiting for me.

"I'm sorry I never looked on the back," I felt like a fool, "God, I must have looked like an idiot and the next week, you see me after that whole incident because I was babbling like I was possessed, I don't even remember-"

"Hey," He shushed me, "It's fine. We cleared it up. I know it bothers you when we push too hard. I just wanted to give you space, let you decide if you wanted me to help you," And then he sighed, "And with that, I apologize about Alice and mom. I didn't mean, to, but I expressed that you may not have wanted to see me. She didn't believe me of course, but she promised to keep an eye on you. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it's alright. They were good company. I just wished-" I bit my tongue before I could finish.

Those green eyes of his, didn't break contact with mine, "Tell me," He said so melodically, "What did you wish?"

I wasn't sure if it was his words of me admitting it outloud, but my cheeks were suddenly hot, my ears burning, "I just wished it was you." And I broke eye contact. God, I shouldn't have been doing this. There was no way in hell I could feel this so soon.

Attraction.

My heart hammered in my chest when he lifted a strand of my hair from my eyes, brushing it back with his fingertips, "Imagine how I felt." I wasn't sure I could.

_____

"Do you plan on staying with me?" I asked, halfway to the meeting. So far, we had enjoyed a comfortable silence, with me stealing glances when I was sure he was too busy driving or switching lanes to notice.

"Yeah, if that's no problem with you, of course," He looked over at me, a comforting smile spreading on his face.

"It isn't," I assured, "I'm just a bit curious why you would waste a few hours with me."

"Nothing about you is a waste, Jasper," He said seriously, "I needed to see you with my own eyes and make sure you were doing okay. The last few weeks have been a bit hard not thinking about it - you." The rush I felt, made my hands tremble. What did he mean?

"Why would it be hard?" I stammered, keeping my eyes forward. One look and I knew something would change in me.

"I was scared for you, but even before then, I wanted to see you. I like spending time with you, Jasper. It puts me at ease, even if half the time, it's an emotional roller coaster for the both of us." He smirked, "I had a good time when we were with the guys." He added.

"I did too." I felt like a little schoolboy, unsure of what to say. It seemed so easy for him to be honest, yet any more I said, and I'd feel crazy or infatuated. How could I say that he was all I thinked about at night? All that I was capable of saying was, "I thought I scared you away."

He looked over at me, his brows furrowed as he gripped the steering wheel tighter, "No," He shook his head, "You didn't. Quite the opposite affect."

"But it must have sparked some memory, seeing me like that..." I was sure he knew what I meant.

"It did." He admitted, "But I think it had more to do with the fact that I'm beginning to enjoy who you are, rather than what you remind me of." He pulled the car up to the parking spot just by the walls of the Family Center building. Turning off the car, he turned to me, "You ready, love?" My insides trembled. I nodded, chewing my lip like a school girl. My stomach made a hallow clench, causing my hand to shoot to it. His eyes followed my movement and I could see a glimmer of panic.

"I guess I haven't been eating much," I excused myself.

"We can go to the Shore Cafe by the house," He offered, "You need to be eating."

"I don't want to keep you."

I was perplexed to see a smirk, "Don't worry about it," He leaned in, unbuckling _my_ seatbelt, "I'm all yours."

_____

He stayed silent, but a permanant smile was plastered on his pink lips. We sat side-by-side, his knee touching mine. Bella sat to my right, a smug smile one her face, Alice kept her eyes trained on everyone else, until she thought we weren't looking and sneaked glances. Victoria, still new and distant seemed confused and annoyed that somehow the attention was drawn to us.

My cheeks felt warm and my motions were a little uncoordinated. I was nervous, but suprisingly I wasn't fearful. A flutter rumbled through the area of my stomach and my head pulsed in an odd throb that wasn't at all painful, but made my vision fuzzy around the edges. My insides were quivering with a surge of something I wasn't too familiar with.

A warm smile seemed to be stuck on Esme's face as she ended our meeting with the usual conversation exercises. For that day it was names - what we have considered.

Bella went first, blushing and shaking her head slightly before finally speaking, "I honestly haven't landed on anything yet. I know its a bit uncreative, but I was considering my mom's name if it was a girl and-"

"Edward if it was a boy, right?" Edward interjected, winking playfully, causing Bella to snort in laughter. She thought something was really funny. The room erupted in quiet giggles as Bella denied the offer.

Next was Alice, whom had no bulging belly, but she answered willingly, "I always been fond of the name Cynthia for a girl and Elijah for a boy." She smiled fondly before turning to Rosalie, nudging her as if saying she was next.

"Liam for a boy and Hope for a girl." I smiled, noticing how her face glowed as her hand massaged the swollen ball on her abdomen. So far, her choices were my favorite.

Victoria followed hesitantly, a frown on her fair skin as she spoke, "There was this guy I liked last school year, ugh, he had like the bluest eyes," She stared over Bella's shoulder, "His name was Skye. Weird name, but," She shrugged, as if that was all she had to offer, "I liked it."

Esme nodded, petting her hand, "It's a gender neutral name. Would you give it to a girl?" Victoria nodded in affirmation, giving us all the first look at a smile. She had been a bit bitter about her condition. An 18 year old single mom - her shoulder's squared when she caught me glancing at her. I felt my stare may have been too heavy, so I turned my head forward.

It was Esme's turn. She crossed her legs, weaving her slender fingers over her kness, "I always liked the name Alice. I wanted my daughter to create a world of wonderment, so I figured the name suited her. I was impressively accurate." She got a smug smile from her daughter, "And Edward always seemed like such a Victorian name. Many thought it was regal and stiff -Carlisle and I thought it was classic. And who would have known? Right again." Bella and Alice snickered. Edward rolled his eyes, reaching out and placing his hands on the back of my chair. He leaned back as if expecting something he had been waiting for.

It was my turn.

I blinked.

My breath hitched and I blew out a breath of air, "I don't know." I had wandering, endless thoughts about a name. It wasn't so easy this way - alone. The name was supposed to define our child, but represent James and I. Now, with just me, the name was half of what it could have been. This child wouldn't have James' surname, but my own. He wouldn't represent us, but me. And I really didn't know who I was, so how was I to know who this child would be, let alone figure out a name?

"Have you ever considered a parents' name?" Rosalie asked. I felt two things, looking at her blue eyes - appreciation and fear. I didn't know Rosalie, and up until then, I was pretty sure she didn't like me, but her eyes were soft. No one had spoken of my parents yet and I wasn't quite sure I was ready to anyway.

"No." I shook my head slowly, "I'm just, I guess it's been a little harder for me than I expected."

Esme nodded knowingly, "You still have a lot of time." she cocked her head, "It'll come to you."

Everyone's eyes turned to Edward. He lifted an eyebrow, but shrugged, "For the longest time I've been infatuated with the name Elizabeth."

Alice perked up, "He named our first goldfish Elizabeth."

Edward huffed in irritation, "I did."

"And our second rabbit."

"Alice." He warned.

"And that little stray cat we found in front of Fine Arts Building at USC." She went on as if she was reading off a log.

"They got it!" He frowned, cheeks flushed. I was barely able to hold a laugh. Edward, bewildered, turned to look at me. His green eyes searched mine and for a moment, I forget where I was. After a moment of us exhanging glances, his lips curved up, "Anyway," He went on, turning his attention towards the group, "I figured Eli would be a good name for a boy, since I would have to find a way to fit that name in," He frowned, "But that's if I ever get a chance to have kids."

Alice pointed to me, suggesting something I wasn't sure of, but Esme scolded her and answered, "It's not impossible."

Edward's fingers wiggled, grazing my shoulder before settling right near the nape of my neck. I leaned back automatically, not even realizing what I was doing before it was too late.

Esme closed the meeting, getting to her feet, helping Victoria to hers. Edward leaned in towards me, temptation curling from him. The desire to be next to him was almost overwhelming and I just couldn't understand why, "Do you still want to go to the Shore Cafe?" I felt a whisper of his breath on my neck and my eyes sealed shut.

"Whatever you want." I panted back. _I'm all yours._ I blanched at my own thought. Where did that come from? He had said it to me didn't he? But he didn't mean it in the way I did. I needed to understand that I was lonely. I knew that. James left a void that I had to deal with, but it didn't mean I had the right to _want_ Edward.

"Jasper," He finally spoke after a few seconds, "I'm here for you, not the other way around. You need to eat and I don't mind where." His eyes narrowed, "And whatever you were just thinking, stop. I don't like that look you get."

I wanted to ask - _What look?_ I didn't have time. Alice approached us, dragging Rosalie beside her, "Let's all go out to eat. I'm starved!"

_____

I was learning that it was hard to say no to Alice. Edward, Bella, Alice, Rosalie and I compiled into two seperate cars, and Alice guided us to The Cheesecake Factory at Marina Del Rey. Once we went through valet, the rest of us waited outside as Alice and Rosalie went in to alert the restaurant of our arrival. The sun was already setting over the blue water behind us. A roll of breezes hit the back of my neck, causing my then tamed curls to spin and whip out of control. The wind had the same affect on Bella as well, the ends of her hair curling around her neck like a dead cell noose. The thought filled me with dread and _that _ scared me. I was already attached to her. I knew right then and there if she was to step out of my life, I wouldn't feel right. I could understand why Edward had her as a best friend. She wiggled right into your heart without even trying.

She beamed at me, poking my nose as if I was a child, "You look so handsome." She complimented. Her comment made me suddenly self-consious. Not many people gave me compliments like that, whether because I never knew how to handle it, or because they believed otherwise. Bella, eyes squinting in the sunlight, looked over to Edward who stood as still as a statue, "Don't you think, Edward?" I felt my skin burn. I didn't want to see his face, see it contort into a sneer or witness the disgusted shudder. But even as I knew it would hurt to look, something told me to do it anyway. I hesitantly looked his way and was surprised to see that he had been staring at me the entire time - a distant look in his eyes as if he was thinking of something.

"Totally." His mouth barely moved and his eyes lidded, almost as if he was sleepy. My legs responded by shaking and my heart banged like an angry drum against my ribcage. But I didn't have much time to understand why, because Rosalie was stepping past the crowd of people waiting outside, getting to us.

"We were able to get a table." She nodded, gesturing for us to follow her.

"But this place is crowded!" Bella exclaimed, looking around her at the whining children and the annoyed parents waiting on benches and pacing around.

Rosalie shrugged, "You know how Alice is." She said in a tone as if there were a list of stories she could explain, but she really didn't need to. Bella and Edward knew and I was beginning to understand myself; you just can't say no to Alice.

We walked past the beautiful displays of cakes, the loaded boothes, the waiters and waitresses carrying trays and was escorted up a small flight of stairs and out french doors to a wide patio where a few covered tables were. Alice sat right by the balcony overlooking the tide and sand, waving us over. It was a gorgeous view. The sky was the color of Edward's hair, the sea, his eyes and the site became a masterpiece when he sat in front of it, gesturing for me to take the seat next to him. Bella sat on my right, and Rosalie with Alice.

We adjusted to our location, looking around at the other patrons, speaking amongst ourselves about the meeting. A waitress came to take our order for drinks, handing us a menu each. She was quick, but polite, leaving us to figure out what we want, promising our drinks in a few minutes. I hadn't been to the restaurant before, but I heard good things about it. I was a bit estactic to see the menu. I browsed the items, feeling slightly crestfallen when I realized that they were pricey. I had been craving fish, so the Miso Salmon looked devine and considering I had just ordered a drink and would be contributing to a tip, I knew I'd have to dish out at least $20. I hadn't had much money on me. I hadn't cashed either of the two checks Carlisle given me. I just couldn't bring myself to do it yet. I had been squirreling all the money I did have left. Alice and Esme were both gracious enough to load my fridge with food when they realized what little I had, so I was able to eat, but my money was wearing thin. It was an internal battle I was having.

"Have anything in mind?" Edward crashed through my thoughts. He leaned into me, so that we were both hiding behind the menu. He had a beautiful smirk on his lips as we waited for my answer.

"I'm thinking an appetizer." It was all I could afford. His smirk dropped. I cursed myself for answering honestly. If I would have lied, saying I didn't know, and ordered when the waitress came back, he wouldn't have noticed. Then it would have been too late to take it back, once it arrived.

"Anything _with_ it?" He pressed. He was annoyed. I could easily tell by the way his jaw was set as if he was dealing with a stubborn child.

"I'm not hungry." I tried. His expression remained the same.

"You told me you were hungry earlier, you need to eat." His eyes searched my face and suddenly, his expression softened. He glanced over my menu, "What did you want?"

"What?"

"I've never met someone so stubborn." He said softly, "You promised." I bit my tongue. That look on his face. Oh God, he knew I was broke - that I didn't touch the checks. How did he know? I messed up and that was hurt I was seeing in his eyes, "Please, what was it that you wanted?"

I inhaled a shakey breathe, "Miso Salmon."

"Okay." He didn't say anything else until the waitress arrived with our drives. Everyone ordered, including Edward who ordered for me, perhaps suspecting I'd change my mind again and go with the appetizer. I hoenstly didn' know how I was going to survive this week, knowing I overspent.

The waitress left and a conversation picked up between the ladies at the table. They went on about some movie and some show - I couldn't pay attention. I was worried to hell about what I did, nervous about what Edward thought. I didn't like him upset, but it seemed that was all I did to him. The topic ended and progressed onto music. Edward willingly joined, seeming normal, answering questions and sharing his opinion. Bella, to my right, had gone silent. I felt her eyes on me for awhile, before she spoke up.

"How have your A.I.S appointments been?" She tucked her hand under her chin, waiting for an answer.

"Better." Was all I could give. My mind was already in a chaos of other thoughts.

"I haven't had much time to see you. Is everything going alright at home?"

"Yeah."

"What do you do now that you quit looking after little pussy dogs?" She prodded with a playful smile. I stared at her in surprise and her smile grew wider.

"I read?" I didn't know whether or not that would satisfy her curiosity. It didn't.

"What about?"

"It's about a couple who, at a very young age, got married pregnant. It's almost like a guide and diary of the 9 months of pregnancy and the following months after the birth."

"Is it informative?" She sipped on her iced tea, brown eyes still on mine.

I nodded, "Very." suddenly I felt a little more relaxed, willing to answer her thoroughly, "I'm about halfway in now. Olivia, the narrator, realized that she was having twins. And now, her and her husband have to rethink bedroom settings and double time the name searching." Bella nodded, smiling. She could tell she related to the work of that.

"I still need to do some of that."

The food came right, then, our plates steaming and nicely designed with our meals. We were silent as we dug in, forks clattering against glass. It was when everyone was halfway done with their meals, when Edward spoke up.

"Rose, Emmett has been trying to contact you." I frowned. Emmett? The same Emmett that I saw weeks ago?

"I've been a little busy, Edward." She said flatly, causing Alice to roll her eyes.

"She's been avoiding his calls." Alice said matter of factly getting a dark scowl from the blonde.

"Why?" Edward looked annoyed, "And are you going to tell him?"

"It's none of his business." She cut him off, digging into her salad. There was another moment of silence, before Bella's fork clattered to her plate.

"I know this isn't much of my business either, but he'd be a great help. He's your best friend-"

"Your right." Rose answered, placing her fork down as well, training her eyes on Bella, "It's none of your business either." The mood had changed drastically that moment. Bella sighed in sympathy rather than anger and continued with her meal. Alice suddenly looked less animated and more like something heavy was on her shoulders. Edward's expression was blank, but he continued eating as well. I sat there confused. What just happened? Rosalie knew Emmett? What was she hiding and why the hell did she snap like that at Bella? I stared at my plate, overwhelmed with the running emotions at the table.

They were human, I knew this. They had problems and secrets like anyone else, but a bit of me hurt knowing that there was open wounds even in this happy family. And I couldn't help but feel a connection to Rosalie.

Edeward's shoulder touched mine. I felt his elbows graze my side before I lifted my head, "Finish your meal, love." He said with such tenderness, I couldn't understand it. I stared at my plate again. I had barely made a dent in the food, "Do you feel alright?" He asked, noticing my inaction.

I shook my head, lifting my fork before breaking off a tender piece of salmon, lifting it to my lips.

____

Edward told me he would pay for me, not allowing me to protest. I couldn't. If him paying for me made him less angry, I'd do it. The dinner ended on a bad note. Bella, Edward and I left before Alice and Rosalie could. There were mummured goodbyes and we were off to valet.

Once inside Edward's Volvo, Bella unleashed something, I'm sure she had been holding the last half hour, "She needs to open up to him!" She seemed to yell at the windshield.

"It hasn't been easy on her." Edward said calmly from the driver's seat, "She knows Emmett. She understands that if she's honest, things will change."

Bella nodded, "I know." She suddenly sounded sad, "But isn't this hurting him? When did he ask?"

"Last week." Edward turned into a neighborhood, slowing the car down, "He asks me when Jacob isn't around. Jacob is still very pissed about her just disappearing on them." Clearly something huge happened.

"I can understand." She sighed. Edward pulled up in front of a house that very much resembled a pebble cottage, with the garden, vines creeping up the sides of the house, to the massive tree with the leaves and branches that fell like hair, brushing the ground. Bella unbuckled her seat and kissed Edward on the cheek before leaning over and kissing me on mines, "See you boys later, okay?"

"Bye Bella." I brushed my fingers through the tips of her healthy hair and she smiled warmly.

"Bye Jazz." She got out, waving at the car as she stumbled to the small gate in front of the property, walking the pebbled path to the patio.

"I should've walked her to the door," Edward sighed, "She could break an arm going that distance." He looked over to where I sat before gesturing his head towards the passenger's seat, wordlessly asking me to join him. I got out, then got back in, buckling myself to my new spot. We pulled away from the house, heading out of the neighborhood.

"I know you're a bit curious about what just happened." Edward spoke first.

"I am." I frowned, "Not that I demand an explanation or anything. I'm just concerned. Is everyone alright?"

Edward shook his head, "No, not really." He pulled out onto the city streets before he continued, "When I met Emmett in college, he was rooming with Rosalie. They had been best friends for awhile and when Emmett and I started dating, we became a bit close too. She was busy with school and guys, but was unhappy. It wasn't until after we graduated, Emmett introduced her to one of his friends that had just made it into the NFL. Rose and him dated for a few years. Everything seemed fine.

"One day out of nowhere, she shows up on Emmett and Jacob's doorstep in tears saying they broke up and asking if she could stay for a few days. They said she could stay as long as she needed to, but she only stayed for about a month. Rose up and left in the middle of the night and she never went back to get the rest of her stuff. Emmett waas confused and upset."

I frowned, "Did he ask her?"

"No. He knew she wasn't ready to answer. Jacob thought to contact her ex, but also figured that maybe she didn't want to be found. She was acting...off. they were right, because one morning she is gone. The little things she had, she took with her. All that was left was a note saying 'I'm sorry.'.

"That night Alice calls me and says that Rose had called asking if they could talk. They met up and Rose told her what happened. Alice offered her a place to stay, making her promise she wouldn't run away. I had to swear not to tell Emmett until Rosalie was ready. They worried for two weeks before she called saying where she was staying. She left it at that."

"Why did she leave?" I couldn't help that my curiousity tripled now with the information I had.

Edward was silent for a moment, "She left them, because she didn't want Emmett or Jacob to see that she was pregnant."

Automatically I felt my eyes well up. What she must have been going through..."Does her ex know?"

Edward shook his head, "No. She found out the night she left." He looked stressed, "It's just a mess. Emmett met Jacob through Rose, because her ex is his cousin. So if Jacob was to find out what he did..." And he was quiet, eyes distant as he seemed to relive a bit of history.

I knew not to ask. It wasn't my place, but a piece of burned in dread, knowing that whatever it was, it wasn't good.

____

It was a little after 7 when we arrived at my house. Edward parked in front of the resident building, turning off the engine. He didn't seem ready to let me leave yet, "Jasper," He started. I already knew what the subject ws about, "Why didn't you cash the checks yet?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, "I know I agreed to this, but it doesn't feel right. I can't depend on your family's money..." My voice trailed off.

"You're helping my father, he's just compensating you."

"With $1500?!" I cried out, "It's hard for me to accept money like that for just a weekly visit to your house. Not to mention, someone going out of their way to take me over there."

"He's making sure-"

"That I don't die?" I offered, then damned my words right after. Edward's eyes glassed over before he turned away, looking out the driver's window, "God, Edward. I'm so sorry. it was foolish to say that-"

"Please understand that I don't agree with the way they impose on you," He said in a whisper, "But know that they genuinely care - _we_ genuinely care." I knew this, but it was so hard to understand why, let them in and _believe _they would stay. I knew that if I needed them now and they left me, I'd be nothing. I'd be weak and I needed to be strong for my child.

"I'm sorry, I know." I tried to soothe him, but his head was turned away, "Edward please," I reached over, holding his hand in my own, "I'm just scared. I want this so much, but I'm scared that as soon as I hold on, everyone will disappear." It came out a weak pant. I needed him to understand, "I'm sorry." I apologised again, fearful of the reponse I'd get. I unlocked the door, feeling the new spring night air as it hit my face.

"Jasper," He called out to me.

"It's okay," I didn't want to see the pain, "I understand you're disappointed. I don't deserve your forgiveness." I got out, closing the door behind me.

"Jasper!" I walked to the front foor of the property, digging in my pockets for my keys before preparing to unlock it, "Jasper, Damnit! Wait!" I froze, hearing his car door open and close before he locked the vehicle and set the alarm. I panicked. I couldn't look at him. I was afraid what would happen. Would I break, would I crumble, knowing that someone I felt so close to, so open with, couldn't tolerate me anymore? His hands were gripping my shoulders and turning me to face him. I averted my eyes.

"Look at me, love." He said softly. I did, slowly. Shivering in the warm night, expecting anger, hurt. I got something entirely different. And that made me crumble even harder.

"I'm sorry I said what I said!" I stammered, "It was thoughtless. I didn't..." I was suddenly tongue tied, wanting nothing more than to make him understand, he had to. I didn't want to be scared, I didn't want to remind him of his past.

I felt my chest collide with his as my head bowed. I was now inhaling the cologne on his skin, one arm of his around my waist as he cradled my head, "Honey, don't cry." I didn't know I was. I forgot what it felt like. I hadn't cried this hard in so long. Not when James left, not when I was alone. But here I was, fearing the idea of Edward walking away, his family leaving me and it tore deeper into my unhealed wound, scratching the bone.

Maybe that's why Rosalie ran. She was scared of what she'd lose when she already lost so much. I didn't want to be like that - not anymore. I was sick of running, sick of being alone because I expected everyone to leave me. I just couldn't be weak.

"Shh," Edward raked his fingers through my hair as I felt myself sob harder. He stroked my back, waiting for me to calm down, and when I finally did, he pulled back slightly to see my face. His thumbs rubbed the trail of tears away, "Let's get you upstairs, okay?" He gingerly took the keys from my hand, unlocking the door as he held me to his chest. I sniffled, wiping away the remainder of the tears before he let me in first, being sure not to break skin-to-skin contact with me. We walked the flight of stairs up to my apartment, steering left in the 2 yard hallway of just two apartment doors. He unlocked my front door and we both stepped in before he secured it closed. I stood awkwardly in the narrow hall, unsure of what to do. He gave me an encouraging smile, taking my hand in his and walking me to my bedroom.

"Sit down, love." He pointed to my bed and I did so, watching to see what he'd do next. He bent down, lifting my left foot, before tugging at the heal until my shoes slipped off. He copied the same action with my right foot, bringing both legs up on my bed. He asked me to lay down and relax, "I'll get you something to drink." He offered, petting my hair before disappearing out of the room. I sighed, staring out from where I saw him leave. I felt suddenly weak and tired.

He came back moments later with a tall glass of water, setting it down at my nightstand. He leaned over, close enough so I could feel his breath on my forehead. His hand petted my hair back and his lips touched the skin below my hairline with a gentle kiss. My heart fluttered in my chest and my body tingled to life, little jolts shooting around to the tip of my fingers and toes. My muscles were next, relaxing, settling me in the bed more. He pulled back, staring at me intently.

"Get some sleep, okay?" He was suddenly standing at full height. A piece of me wanted to cry out for him to lay with me, but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything yet. He was only standing up, he wasn't leaving... "I have to go back to Burbank tomorrow morning, so-"

I panicked for the second time that night. I turned on my side, curling up, a whimper frowing in my throat. I didn't want to be left alone, not after I finally broken down, not after I let everything in, admitted I needed someone. If he left...he'd be leaving forever. That's how it happened before, "No." Was all I could get out, but the look on his face said it registered loud and clear.

"What do you need me to do?" He was kneeling by my bed at eye level with me, "I can stay. Do you want me to stay?"

"Please." I reached out, my fingertips just barely grazing his lips. He lifted his hand, lacing his fingers with my own, "Stay until I fall asleep." I didn't want it to be an order, "Please."

"Whatever you need." He kicked out of his shoes, walking around the bed, before climbing in with me. There was no contact, but my body was suddenly lax, feeling him lay beside me. My back was to him, but I knew he was close and that was enough.

The weight on the bed shifted behind me, "Edward," I whispered into the dark room, just needing to hear his voice.

"Hmm?" I felt a ghost trail of his fingers on my back. I shivered in delighted bliss and cursed myself for reponding so positively to it, but I needed a reminder that he was here.

If he'd just talk, I'd feel so much better, "Tell me about your music." He chuckled at the suggestion, but I felt him get comfortable next to me.

"Where should I start?"

I yawned, turning around to face him. He was resting on his elbow, palm planted in front of his stomach with a content smile on his face, "The beginning?" I asked. He chuckled again, lifting his free hand to brush a strand of hair away from my eyes. I couldn't help but lean into the touch.

"Okay." He began. He told me about the piano classes when he was 5 and the guitar lessons when he was old enough to rebel and want to start a band. He was halfway into explaining about his first concert at USC when I dozed off. The last thing I remembered was snuggling into warmth, smelling a sweet scent and falling into a embracing blackness.

____

I was warm. My eyes blinked open and I moved, feeling something under me. My legs were elevated on an object as well, my arms wrapped around a warm body. I lifted my head, meeting green eyes, "Morning." He sounded awake and amused.

I looked down at my blanketed body, just making out my legs thrown over his, my arms hugging him, "I'm-" I stammered, feeling embarassed. I whimpered, hiding my face in my pillow.

"Don't worry, love. It was my fault," He assured, "You started tossing and turning when I left. You didn't settle down until I came back." I sighed, feeling his hand petting my hair.

"You left?"

"Only to run to my house and re-dress," He answered, "I wasn't gone longer than 15 minutes, but," he gave me a smirk then, "it seemed to have thrown you off." As soon as I was unconscious or out of, it always appeared I unleashed that desire to connect with him. What did it say about me when he left for a few minutes and I was tossing and turning?

Did I toss and turn in bed without him?

"It's okay, love." I felt the mattress dip next to me, "You were used to my body heat all night-"

"You slept over?" my voice was muffled into the pillow, "What time is it? Did you sleep well?" I thought he'd leave in the middle of the night.

"I stayed over, it's 7 and yes, I slept well - like a baby, actually." He said smoothly, "I have to head to the studio. Will you be okay here alone?"

I turned over to face him, a growing affection in my chest. He stayed with me all night?

He seemed to have read my thoughts, "You didn't want me to leave, so I didn't. I don't think I could after what you've been through." He said softly. Why did he stare at me that way? My insides quivered again, but I held them together with my hands. He watched, worry lines on his face, "Morning sickness?"

"I feel-" I stammered, but couldn't finish. _Happy. Safe. _I felt a lot of things with him there.

"I can stay..."

"No, I'm fine." I did my best to sound unphased by his consideration. I didn't want him to weave his way into me deeper than he already had and I didn't want him being any more selfless, "You need to work." I pushed.

It looked like he was thinking it over, but finally, he gave in, nodding his head, "Call me, please, if anything." He hesitated for a moment, "I left something the coffee table. I know you're going to fight about it, but I don't want to hear it. You're too stubborn." He gave me a small smile, leaning in without hesitation, his lips touching my forehead again, making me sigh contently, "Call me if you need me." He pleaded.

Edward left my room with a second lingering glance and a silent goodbye before I heard my front door close. My body was on fire. All I could think about was...

He stayed with me all night.

He layed with me.

He kissed me.

Joy pumped through my body like adrenaline. I got out of bed, ready for the day. I freshened up in the bathroom, taking the medication before climbing the stairs to the living room. I idly turned on the television, grabbing a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with rice milk before sitting down on the loveseat to view the moorning news for an hour. Like Edward said, there was something waiting for me on the coffee table, a thick envelope. I didn't know what it could be, yet I didn't want to rush and figure out what exactly.

When I was done with breakfast, I cleaned up my bowl and some other dishes in the sink. I was feeling a bit too light and pumped with energy, so I decided to spend the rest of my day relaxing in the living room to calm myself down. As much as I was floating on air, I didn't want to build up any hopes of anything. Edward was sweet and loving, just like the rest of his family. Rosalie and Bella were perfect examples of others he was close to, it didn't make me any more special.

I needed a distraction.

I grabbed the book I was 2/3 finished with and continued on from the 20th chapter. Two hours in, I was feeling my eyes drop again. I fought with my body, pushing myself to read until the end of the chapter before I could give in to a nap.

_Olivia's water broke, fighting her way through people in a crowd. She needed to get to a hospital._

I leaned my head against the couch's pillow, angling the book on my hip so I could continue on.

_She was in the delivery room Hours into labor, Marcus at her side. The first one out was the girl. And not minutes later, a boy followed. Healthy twins. She held them in her arms after they were cleaned and weighed. She looked at small, round faces and made up her mind. _

My eyes were growing heavier.

_It was Jane for the girl. And for the boy-_

I gave in to sleep.

**AN: **The _italics_ weren't quotes from the novel Jasper was reading, rather how he was processing it in his head as he was falling asleep. Hope it didn't confuse any of you. And as much as I want to keep Edward and Jazz from getting affectionate so soon, little caresses and innocent kisses aren't too harmful. It's clear they are attracted to each other, but they each have walls to knock down before anything "real" can come of it. Sorry again for the stubborn Jasper. He's just about there to opening up.

Hope you guys caught the extra foreshadow I threw out there. Well, it's not a hint, really. More of a set-up for what's to come waaaay later. It'll keep building in the next chapter. Tell me what you guys think of this chapter!


	11. Seventeen Weeks

**AN: **Every once in a while, I get that drought of no muse and a my critical monster comes out, pretty much telling me everything I write out is crap. It's been a _long_ drought, especially after writing for a few other fics this last month. I'm in mid-final as well, so there may not be another update until the end of the week. Sorry if any of you were waiting.

Do not own characters.

**Chapter Eleven: 17 Weeks **

I woke up after my nap to the ringing house phone planted on the end table by the couch. It was Bella with one of her daily phone calls catching up on anything new. On most occasions I had nothing big to tell her, but the bubbling excitement was just ready to burst when I realized that this time around, I did. She never pushed, but I could hear the curious tone over the line as she asked me if I got home okay with Edward the night before. I answered as calmly as I could, that I did.

"I hope I didn't come off as an inconsiderate jerk last night," She said on the other line, "Rose has had a rough few months, but I can't help but get aggrevated that she would make things more difficult..." She huffed.

"I understand it's a complicated situation." I sympethized, settling the book I had fell asleep reading on the coffee table as I sat up straighter. The last few pages of the book was a blur in my mind. I'd knew I had to re-read it to continue on.

"Did...Edward tell you what happened?" Bella asked after a brief pause.

I wasn't sure how to answer. I didn't want Bella to believe that Edward was in anyway spreading gossip or giving me inside information, "He didn't specify much, just told me enough for me to understand what was going on." I bit my lip, waiting for her answer.

"You were bound to find out sooner or later. We're a pretty tight knit bunch and seeing how much Edward wants to keep you close, he'll obviously willingly tell you all you need to know, especially if it'll help you stick around longer-" She rattled on, but my thoughts took a detour at her statement.

_Edward wants to keep me close?_

_ And what exactly did she mean about me sticking around?_

"Bella?" I cut through her explanation, "What did you mean by...?" I wasn't sure how to word my thoughts exactly. Did Edward tell me what he did because he knew that I felt an odd connection to Rosalie and the distance she kept from everyone especially someone she was close to? Did he want me to know I wasn't alone? Or was I just thinking too deep about this?

"Oh..." Bella caught onto her slip, "Jasper, don't think that we're concocting ways for us to wiggle our way in. When I said that about Edward, I mean, he wants you comfortable with your situation. We all have problems and personal fears to overcome," She said boldly, her voice unwavering and honest as usual, "And although your situation is grander than most we've seen, you're going to find that you're not alone."

I sat there, piecing together her words and feeling just a bit relieved and comfroted although the answers to my questions weren't directly answered. I got the gist of it, and it was a relief hearing it from someone that I was beginning to trust full-heartedly.

"Thank you." was all I could muster through the phone.

Bella eventually found out about Edward's sleepover, although it wasn't through me. The next morning, I awoke to the shrilling phone and to an even higher shrill Bella. It was up until that point that I realized just about everyone had some inane belief that Edward and I were potential for a relationship. The idea of it made me feel a humming tingle throughtout my body and gave me random spurts of blissful smiles, but the realist in me knew that such a thing couldn't happen.

Bella briefly informed me that Alice attempted a surprise morning visit the morning Edward stayed over. When she didn't find him home, she called just as he was leaving my apartment for work. After a few pushing, Edward let slip that he _was_ indeed still in El Segundo, just not home - Alice pieced together the rest.

"So, of course everyone knows now." Bella added with an apologetic tone, "I won't ask what happened, Jazz-"

I sighed, "Nothing did," I couldn't help but smile into the phone despite Alice's quick mouth. I didn't mind that everyone knew he slept over, afterall, he was the third on the list of Cullens to do so. All I needed now was the overnight company of Carlisle and it would have been the whole family, "I asked him to keep me company-" I had to pause as Bella squealed again, "and he fell asleep." Well, I couldn't say that was exactly the truth. I knew why Edward stayed the night over, but telling Bella would be admitting to the small panic attack and breakdown I had earlier. She worried enough as it was.

The call ended with Bella in high spirits and the contagion of her attitude seeping into my own mood. I bounced around the apartment, just like the day before, making a light breakfast and settling on the couch to catch some morning cartoons. When I was done and quite filled, I let my attention fall back on the thick envelope on the coffee table. With a cock of my head and a burn of anticipation, my hands wrapped around the thick enclosed package and I opened the small flap, gasping at the thicket of green paper. A small slip of paper was nestled behind the bulge. I pulled it out, noticing the familiar, neat handwriting:

_Jasper, _

_ I know how uncomfortable this must be, but I implore that you at least settle for this, if not taking my father's checks. Unfortunately if he was to find out you have gone this long without cashing them, he'd be hurt. So for the sake of my father's feelings and your well-being, please accept this. No arguing, love. _

_ Yours, _

_ Edward._

I stared at the paper, my fingers tracing the written words, taking in the affectionate name. Was he that comfortable to call me such a thing, or did he use that to his benefit, knowing I would just give in? I stared at the money in the envelope, not able to digest the amount. They were all hundreds, so it was easily at least $2,000.

Could I take this?

My eyes wandered over the letter again, this time turning it over to make sure there wasn't anything else left for me to go over. I exhaled seeing a blank side. I knew I had a choice. I could step away from Edward, from his family, from Bella, but the painful realization was I didn't want to. And what came with that was the consequence of letting them help me. It was clear that my stubborn ways and lack of communication was stressful for them, but in the end, I gave in to my selfish desire to have Edward and his family as emotional support. I explained to myself that they would be good for me while I was still expecting, but afterwards when I was a father, I would let them go, because naturally all reasons to keep contact would cease.

I'd be selfish and when reality settled in, I'd be too concerned about raising my child.

The weekend progressed with surprise visits from Alice and Bella and a random check-up from Carlisle who had claimed he was just in the area and wanted to see how I was doing. The girls seemed just a bit too eager to talk about up-coming events and work in ways for Edward and me to keep in the same room for more than an hour. One of the events discussed was Rosalie's baby shower, which was going to take place right after our Expecting Care meeting at the Cullen house.

Carlisle - who had coincidently came a few hours after the girls - had asked if I was going to drop by to visit. He, in no way implied I had to, like Alice, but I could see it in his eyes that he'd be fairly crestfallen if I was to decline.

I simply couldn't understand why this family felt I _needed_ to be in their company. Granted, I knew the history, but despite their gusto to make sure I was healthy, I couldn't quite figure out what else it was. Would I figure out before my child was born?

Carlisle mostly stayed for tea and conversation, but left a lingering presence when he stepped out an hour or so later. It had me thinking the rest of the weekend. By Monday, he was back again, checking my health, looking through my journal and sparking some innocent conversation. My mind, up until that point was muddled with false hope and suddenly infected with his son's presence. Edward hadn't called the last few days and like hell, I felt his lips on my forehead everynight. I found myself knowingly tossing and turning, thinking back to the money he left that I had secured in my bank account that day I opened the envelope. Something in me trusted him without hesitation and it scared me more than I could understand. And with Carlisle so close, fingers pressed against my pulse, frowning slightly as he kept his eyes on his watch, I felt some wall in me crumble.

"Carlisle?" It came out frantic, but I hadn't meant for it to.

His eyes shot to mine and he dropped fingers on his lap. His face, as always, was stoic and peaceful, but his eyes tightened in worry, "What is it, son?"

"I-" I hesitated for a moment, considering what this may do to our impersonal relationship, but I was too curious, "Can you tell me why you're doing this?" I waited for his expression to harden or for him to frown, but instead I got a confused look, "I know you say it's for my health, but that can't be enough for you. All this effort that everyone goes through can't be all for that."

"What makes you think that, Jasper?" He spoke these words with genuine interest, folding his hands over his lap.

"You don't know who I am-" I growled in frustration with myself, "I'm not saying that I change my mind about anything. I'm trying to trust..."

"Trust us?" He added softly, "I know this is hard for you. And you really are doing a good job letting everyone dote on you as they please," He added with a smile, "We clearly see that you're capable and strong and quite stubborn," And with this he chuckled deeply, "You're not thick or foolish, Jasper. What I see is someone who has had a difficult time trusting people. Your health is important, but just as much is your well-being. Is it wrong for anyone of us to want you happy? Must we have an agenda?"

"I don't think of it as a motive," I folded my arms over my chest, retracing what I had said, "I just mean with your history, maybe..." I didn't want to say Alec's name, or even bring to his attention that I knew, but something in the way his body stiffened alerted me that maybe he caught on to my trailing sentence just a bit too well.

"Yes," He said oddly, "Yes, we do have history." Our conversation died then. If we were impersonal before the conversation, I felt like a complete unwanted stranger after. Carlisle fingered through my journal, his eyes distant before he closed it with a final sigh. Without glancing at me, he dug into his shirt pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. He leaned forward, placing it on the living room table before sitting back.

I felt a tension growing in the room. We sat in silence, me shifting uncomfortably in my seat as I realized my mistake and him in a pensive moment. After we had successfully kept up the silence for a minute or so, I cracked, "I'm sorry. It was wrong for me to bring that up..."

Carlisle's fingers, which were tight on his lap, relaxed, "There's nothing you should be sorry about Jasper," He watched me with a concentrated gaze, "And please, do not be put-off by my reaction. I can't say I've quite come to terms with that patch of my past," He shook his head, "I don't think any of us had." I felt a bit invasive and that made me uncomfortable, more so than having the Cullen family step in my own personal bubble. I reconsidered any outside communication with them. Maybe we were in each other's spaces too much. Maybe baby showers and random calls were overkill.

With grace, he stood to his feet, still as calm and as collected as he was when he entered the house. He was reading my face now, "Jasper, now don't go thinking this puts us at odds," It was as if he was reading my thoughts - a trait Edward must have inherited, "You can talk to me about anything, no matter how painful it is for either of us. Like I stated earlier, your well-being is as important as your physical health. And I would like to see you at the shower." He walked over to where I sat, laid his hand on my shoulder, "Would you mind having someone accompany you to the A.I.S office tomorrow?" He asked.

I frowned, not sure how to answer. I was supposed to be getting my sonograph. From what I gathered from the girls at Expecting Care, it was supposed to be an intimate moment, usually with two parents, "I don't know," I answered hoenstly, "I'm going to be seeing the baby for the first time-"

"You're getting your ultrasound?" He was beaming. It was so weird and yet comforting to see a man like him smile so brightly, "Are you excited?"

"I am." I nodded, feeling my cheeks blush.

"Then it would be wrong to impose that Edward-" He stopped, catching my averted gaze, "Okay, maybe Alice could drive you there and pick you up?"

I frowned, "Um, I'm fine getting there by myself. There won't be any more tests." I wanted to say with conviction, but the concerned look he gave me, reminded me that Carlisle clearly didn't trust them at all.

Carlisle seemed to be thinking quite hard about what he was about to say, "Would you mind if I came with you?" He searched my eyes for a second, then scratched his head in agitation. He looked uncertain of my answer, I noticed. It suddenly became apparent to me that Carlisle was coasting the waves of more emotions I had ever seen from him before. If there was anyone who could accompany me to this, could it be Carlisle? The trench between us suddenly seemed to resemble more of a crack. There was more to Carlisle Cullen than I was aware of. There was something to be trusted, there was comfort.

And the reminder remained; this was definitely Edward's father.

"Are you sure?" It wasn't a question I was used to asking. It suddenly felt like I had the upperhand in the situation - which was something that startled me completely.

"I'm more than sure, son," He said with a relieved smile, "I can accompany you as your doctor."

I straightened myself on the couch. He settled beside me, waiting patiently for my answer. It didn't take long to think it over. The A.I.S appointments were really the only times I had to myself, yet the moments when I felt most alone. I thought back to the tests and had to hold back a shudder. I was ready for the change, "I'd appreciate that."

The next morning Carlisle picked me up, driving me to the office as if he commited it to memory. We both came to the conclusion that it was best to keep the trip to ourselves. It was a bit deceptive. I felt uncomfortable with the decision, but I knew that although I was ready for Carlisle to see this glimpse of my world, I was afraid of how it would change everyone else - namely, Edward. I was giving in to blind faith one step at a time. It may have been the overwhelming fear of rejection that kept me from taking the actual leap, but I didn't let that crush the notion that I was progressing.

My doctor seemed somehow flabbergasted when she greeted Carlisle in her room with me. Her eyes flickered between us when he stated that he was my personal doctor and she nearly lost her usual professional calm when he labeled himself a friend. Actually, I was sure I was on the same wavelength. I had become comfortable with meeting him every week and our company was usually kept with tea and light conversation, but never had I considered the compassion he had for my situation relative to that of a friendship. It was like having someone switch a light on in a room when all I had was a candle. Was this how everyone else felt?

My doctor briefly mentioned the standard procedure of my 17th week visit to Carlisle, getting a polite nod from him, although his expression remained that of what a Sunday school teacher would have. He asked short scientific questions that I didn't understand. My doctor hesitated for a moment, each time before answering carefully. When she had briefly left us, Carlisle turned to me with an apologetic smile, "Does this make you uncomfortable?" He had taken to sitting in her chair, which she had generously offered due to her uncharacteristic pacing.

I shook my head, "No," He didn't seem to believe me, "But I'm not sure what you were asking."

He nodded to himself, "I'm making sure they don't repeat the same mistakes twice." Was all he gave me before the room's door clicked open and my doctor wheeled in a massive device with a small screen attached. When it was set-up, she asked me to leaned back, relaxed and lift my shirt. I did as I was told, but not before shyly glancing over at Carlisle who seem to be distracted by the machine.

The process was a bit unerving, but I was able to keep my cool, especially with Carlisle, more friendly in his manners, asking questions I was certain he had the answer to and had a hunch was asking for my benefit of a small bit of knowledge. A glob of what horrified me into being lube, was smeared on my stomach. I shuddered despite myself and got a genuine apology from my doctor when she didn't warn how cold it was.

Almost at once, we all looked to the screen, in search of _who_ was growing inside me. I heard Carlisle sigh and my doctor gave a glittering smile when she gestured to the curled fetus, noting the heart and angle the baby was facing.

"Look, he's giving us the thumbs up!" For the first time that meeting, she actually seemed to have forgotten Carlisle was in the room. She made a motion to the screen, gesturing towards my baby's head, where his finger was raised as if giving me the 'O.K.'. I smiled, getting the bubbling joy of the small glimpse of who he was.

And then it hit me.

"_He?_" My voice came out cracked.

"Yes, I believe what we are staring at is your budding baby boy."

I woke up with the distant memory of a little girl reaching up for me to take her in my arms, a bed with someone warming the other side. I could recall the big, light brown eyes of James as he whispered goodnight to me.

It was a nightmare, yet each time I tried to forget the little I could remember, that little girl came back up almost as a reflex to my memory.

Then it was briefly forgotten when I felt the aching pain that was my blatter - the actual reason I was shaken from my dream. I tossed my blanket back and got out of bed, scurrying to my bathroom. When I was done, I showered briefly and started my morning routine, knowing I'd have to prepare for the day.

The last 24 hours were a blur. All I could remember was the picture I saw on that screen, which was now balanced against the empty frame on my nightstand - the frame which had once had me and James. Carlisle had stayed with me for a few hours before regretting an early departure due to work. I wanted to share the news, I was giddy with excitement. I had sat there with the freshly printed paper in my hand, staring down at him.

Who could I talk to about this? Who did pregnant mothers usually call? I had brief flashes of previous Expecting Care meetings. Bella said she and Mike found out she was pregnant together, so the first person she called was Esme then Edward. Even Victoria said she told her mother first, who offered a lot of emotional support. Tanya, who was at home with her baby girl told of how she immediately drove to her mom's house in a hurry to tell her - which she later regretted due to her recklessness.

They all had had one thing in common - they told a mother figure.

I stared at myself in the mirror, recalling that pang I had the previous night. It was 5 years since I had spoken to either of my parents, so the idea of calling my mother felt so foreign and...painful. I knew I _could._ It was very possible to contact her. She was always adamant about communication and always boasted about keeping the same contact information to give family no excuse about losing communication with her. She had even become privy to the internet and bought her on cell phone.

I blanched at myself in the mirror.

When had I ever let myself think about my mother?

She was a taboo in my mind, something to be avoided, along with my father.

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind, throwing on what was once loose jeans, but felt snug around my waist, before fumbling with a shirt I barely ever worn due to the fact that it wasn't mine, it was James. It was only after throwing it on and realizing how much it fit me, did I realize whose it was.

My past was coming to haunt me.

And a bit of me was accepting that this was karma for letting myself slip. I kept the shirt on, before walking upstairs to start breakfast.

The meeting was shorter than our usual, but merely because our day was to continue at the Cullen Residents. Alice had greeted me and my front door that afternoon. I had half expected Edward and was a bit crestfallen to see her instead. She had urged me to hurry and I did, which ultimately resulted in me leaving Rosalie's present at the house. After the meeting, everone went into their seperate vehicles, I along with Alice, Rose with Esme and Bella. I had to make the quick pit-stop at my apartment before we met up with them later.

We stepped into the narrow hallway of my home just as I dashed into my room to my dresser where the present waited.

Alice followed, arms crossed, "So my dad came over yesterday?" She asked in her non-chalant way of easing into a topic she was curious about.

I was too distracted making sure everything was assembled in the gift bag I had bought along with the present, "Yeah." I answered, not aware of what she was getting at.

"But I thought you had your A.I.S appointments on Tuesdays." She stated with a definite edge to her tone.

I stopped in mid-action, catching her intentions an answer too late.

"Mmm hmm, that's what I thought." She nodded, giving me a hard look.

"Look, Alice..." I bit my lip, not sure what I was going to say. I didn't want anyone to know, merely because I didn't want them to ask what was going on or feel offended that it was Carlisle that came with me. Esme was good emotional support, despite the fact that I wasn't _completely_ open with her and Bella was an angel in every way imaginable. And Edward...I wasn't quite sure what he meant to me, but I couldn't picture this small progress I was working at without him. Just when I was working to say something, Alice's attention seemed to have shifted. She had taken to glancing around my room in her patience when her eyes landed on the novel I couldn't bring myself to finish in the last few days due to the pace my brain had been going.

"Where'd you get this?" Alice asked, lifting it up, glancing at the cover.

"At a second-hand bookstore. I haven't finished it, but so far I have found it useful and the story really good." I took the oppurtunity of distraction without hesitation. She held the book in her small hands, her eyes never leaving the area where the author's name was scribbled in big print. She seemed to be in deep thought.

"Is it about the author?" She asked smally.

I frowned, "It's loosly based on her, I suppose." I didn't quite understand the question.

"Is it okay if I borrow this?" She asked.

I nodded, glad to at least hold her off from getting into my A.I.S visit with Carlisle, yet a bit concerned about her sudden interest in my reading choices. I shrugged it off, noting that Alice was in fact a hobby addict and could just about find anything interesting in the dullest of situations. She was in fact one of the prime reasons I had enjoyed going to Expecting Care in the beginning.

For the first time in my knowledge of knowing Rosalie Hale, I could say with conviction that she was happy. Her long, blonde hair hung over one shoulder, the black dress she wore, fitted and worked quite well with her maternal figure. She smiled brightly, blushing when attention was brought to her by the group, but nonetheless, she took the spotlight with grace. Something about her seemed radiant and alluring, despite what I had already knew about her.

Tanya was close company, showing her daughter and introducing those that hadn't met her husband, who was a gentleman and quite funny. Bella's husband arrived a bit before dinner, getting a big hug from Esme whom fussed about not seeing him in ages. Bella even took the moment to seperate us from the crowd of laughing and loud conversation for a proper introduction.

I shook Mike's hand, who held my grip slightly loose, but pulled me into a side hug, "So you're the one giving my wife aneurysms." He chuckled, getting an elbow in the rib from Bella. Mike, even in his work attire, was a bit of a goofball and the complete opposite of what I expected - an overbearing husband. I was very much aware of how much he cared for Bella by the way he offered to get her drinks, ask how she felt and pretty much waited on her like royalty, but he still remained at ease and interactive with everyone else.

The shower took much of the afternoon and evening with games and a big dinner cooked by Esme and surprisingly Carlisle. We ate, drank strawberry lemonade as Esme shared some interesting stories about Alice and Edward when they were infants and toddlers. I found myself enjoying the ease of family and friends, but still that blackhole of pang came back stronger than it did that morning. I thought of my mom's summer barbeque's, the shimmer of golden blonde as my cousins scattered around in our yard, chased around the big tree posted next to the picnic table. I pondered if she still held the events, if dad still worked the grill, if everyone laughed and danced obnoxiously to my father's old bluegrass albums. If they ever spoke of me and what I was...

Then my thought warped and transformed as the conversation at the table continued; _Where was Edward?_

We had gathered around in the backyard, looking over the valley of the city, our conversation dying into a hum as everyone forked over their presents. Rosalie unwrapped what seemed like an unlimited load of diapers, onesies, pink bibs and a spa retreat gift certifcate from Alice alone. Esme and Carlisle banded together and bought her something they said was waiting at home for her, which I knew to be a crib. Bella and Mike purchased a baby carrier, Tanya got her a back massager and a box set of Sex and the City, jokily saying that she's appreciate it when she's kept up in the middle of the night with nothing to do. Rosalie opened my gift bag, pulling out the wide, pink photo-album gingerly. Her fingers traced the words and I could make out a ghost of lingering in her eyes as she read what I had personally had customized in gold on the cover;

_When there is nothing else, there is always HOPE. - And that's enough._

She whispered a soft "thank you" And surprised everyone and myself when she got up to give me a tight hug. I could hear the "Awws" of the women before Rosalie pulled away, her eyes swimming in tears.

"You're welcome." And I meant it.

Conversations picked up once again, and before I knew it, everyone was getting up to gather in the family room to relax and have dessert. Esme passed around slices of cake and we all moved on our talk from baby care to movies. Mike was just getting ready to re-enact a scene from Arnold Schwarzenegger's movie _Kindergarten Cop_, when Edward stepped into the family room, looking tired and dishelved, but nonetheless happy to find everyone enjoying the shower.

"Honey, have some cake!" Esme tossed over our heads.

"And what took you so long?" Alice had added before he could speak, "I have been texting you all evening."

"I apologize, Rose," Edward, donned in a vintage grey tee and casual jeans, jogged over to the blonde before giving her a side hug, being mindful of the plate in her hand, "I had trouble getting your gifts to arrive." He added with a wink.

"It's fine." She dismissed, rolling her eyes, but she seemed to forgive him nonetheless. Edward greeted everyone, kissing his mother on the cheek before getting a pat on the back from Carlisle. I watched in silence, noting how he didn't leave anyone out, smiling politely and falling right into the rhythm of the gathering. I did, however, realize that he hadn't said one word to me. I felt an ache of rejection before shaking off the idea that he _needed_ to pay special attention to me anyway. It was easy to forget just how compassionate him and his family could be to anyone. I couldn't let it get into my head that I was anything special.

I thanked my agitated bladder for a moment to excuse myself. I walked across the hall to the guest bathroom, getting a moment to myself. Once I relieved myself, I washed my hands, staring at my reflection for the second time that day. It was hard to digest just how much I enjoyed being around these people. I wouldn't have said I was the center of attention all night, but I was part of the conversations, had moments alone to talk to Bella, her husband, Alice and even Rosalie. It was like enjoying my time with _friends._ I sighed, throwing the delusion to the wind, before opening the bathroom door. I jumped back slightly, seeing Edward, his back against the opposite wall of the bathroom door, waiting patiently.

It seemed as if he was in queue for the restroom, "Sorry if I was long." I apologized, making to walk past him, but he asked me to wait.

"How are you?" He asked, throwing his hands into his jeans, before jerking them out and raking his hair without thinking.

"I'm better." I said shortly after, trying to figure out just exactly what he was asking about.

"You didn't call..." His voice trailed off. His green eyes were emerald stones, focusing on me as if he was trying to read between the lines.

I suddenly felt like a fool, forgetting that I not only had control in my situation with Carlisle, I had it with his son as well, "I didn't know you wanted me to." I shook my head, almost wanting to laugh at my foolish assumption, "I was waiting for you to call?" I asked myself, rather than him. And why exactly would he do that? He doesn't need anything from me.

"Would you mind if I called you?" He asked, throwing me out of my thoughts. Why would he call me? As if reading my confusion, he continued, "I like talking to you Jasper. All I want to know is if you feel the same way." My heart jolted in my chest as i tried to read past his words.

"I do..." I said lamely, getting a small smirk in response.

"I don't want to overstep bountries." He corrected and I suddenly felt like a fool for even considering he meant more than what he said. My walls were cracking under no pressure other than my delusions.

"Sure."

The doorbell rang and the the room died down to a low hush as Esme and Alice commented on who it could be. Just then, Edward turned his gaze down the hallway. He suddenly looked anxious. Without another word, he turned towards the door, walking in the general direction, but not quick enough to catch up to his mother and sister. Whomever it was had somehow passed the gate, so it was someone they knew - someone Edward knew judging by the anticipation that was suggested in his body language.

The door opened and a silent gasp came from Alice before I heard Esme's gentle voice, "Oh sweethearts, so glad you could come."

"Well you know how we do, Mrs. Cullen," I heard the familiar booming voice, "Could never miss crashing a party for Rose. Where's that special girl anyway?"

**AN: **I needed Jasper's ultrasound to be pushed into this chapter, a week or so early for determining gender, but there is much to tell and with Edward being in the picture in the future, I needed this open moment for Jasper. Tell me how you're following the story so far. Always willing to listen!


	12. Eighteen Weeks

**Author's Notes: **With finals done, I can now focus on all that I ahve neglected. This chapter will be the start of a series of small flashbacks, which are really glances into what Jasper is letting resurface in his mind – incidences and moments that reflect his current state of mind. And yes, there is much more Em and Jakey, sadly, not in this chapter, but throughout the upcoming. Enjoy, and thanks for sticking with this.

Characters, not own by I.

**xXx**

**Chapter Twelve: 18 Weeks**

_ "Do you think there is enough room?" I asked, not sure I could fit a day-bed and an office desk in the tiny space of the extra room._

_ "There's enough room for the next few months," His long fingers played with the hair at the nape of my neck as he waited for me to direct my attention to him. His hazel eyes searched my own before he continued, "I know this seems out of the blue, moving to this location," He smiled when he caught the look of confirmation on my face, "But honey, it was more than me finding a place for us to move in together. I want to start a family here. I want us in this neighborhood, because I'm getting us a house." He finished slowly. I felt my eyebrows shoot up. My mind was racing. He wanted a family?_

_ "James..." I wasn't sure what I could say. Things were changing around the country - science was changing. Men could be impregnated, and in this state they could marry. _

_ "I know," He nodded, reading my bewilderment, "We love each other and I want us to share the rest of our lives together," His lips caressed my own, "I've been making offers to people in the neighborhood, but it's been tough. This is a hard place to find and buy a house and the residents know it. They are driving a hard bargain."_

_ I laughed despite myself, "You're buying people out of their homes?" All for us to start a family here? I couldn't hide the fact that it made me feel warm and safe inside - despite the unremarkable fear it rose in me._

_ "Well, honey, not in the way you put it," He laughed, "I just want you happy - I want our family happy."_

_ "Do you want me to-?" I didn't know how to finish the sentence, "Be...pregnant?" He kept silent for a moment, his thumbs working circles in my temple._

_ "I made an appointment with the A.I.S office. It's just a check-up." He said seriously, "Baby, I want our child to represent us. Wouldn't it make you happy to look at your baby boy or girl and see yourself?"_

"I'm scared that all I'll see is him." I remembered Rosalie explaining to Emmett and Jacob. The boys' surprise visit did more than bring the truth to light, it seemed to raise quite a few fears I had about myself and James.

Rosalie responded with shock, fear and even a bit of sadness. I expected much more of screams of betrayal at Edward or maybe her leaving, but all she did was break down. She admitted that she knew she'd have to face them sometime, that she tried to hide what happened, but ultimately realized a new life was hard to hide.

Edward and I stood at the threshold of the room, me watching with an outsider's eye as Emmett sprinted over to Rosalie, securing her in a very embracing hug. I tore my eyes away, turning to Edward for his reaction. He looked relieved.

"Why did you...?" In no way did I want to accuse him, but surely he knew that this could have ended badly.

"Alice said she was going to do it," Edward kept his eyes trained on the circle of family and friends consoling Rosalie, "I couldn't let their friendship end as quick as Emmett's and Jacob's, so I did it. The worse that could have happened, was Rosalie avoiding me and both Emmett and Jacob seeing for themselves why she stayed away."

"Did you tell them that she was pregnant?"

"When I said that we were having a party in her honor, Jacob assumed it was either a baby shower or an engagement party. So they were prepared." He explained. There was a brief pause as he seemed to think over his words, "Jasper, I don't want you to think that I am forcing Rose to face her problems-"

"I don't." I cut him off. I understood what he was implying. I was still learning to cope with relaxing and opening up and he didn't want me to be uncomfortable around him or lose trust in the unstable relationship we did have, "It was Alice's idea and you risked your friendship with Rose to take the brunt of her decision, because it would have happened whether you wanted it to or not," I reassured him. The thought of it made me feel a growing softness for Edward. He wanted his friends and family happy even at the expense of himself, "It justifies why I'm at such ease to trust you." I didn't think of what I was doing when held his hand in my own, giving it a gentle squeeze before realizing that it may have been unwise to touch him. As much as I knew Edward was concerned of me as a person, I wasn't so sure he was comfortable with my physical closeness. But he surprised me by squeezing my hand back and kept this contact the entire time the room died down in tension and Rosalie began slowly, but calmly to explain the night 8 months before.

It was horrific and it hurt seeing Emmett and Jacob on either side of her, pain and anger on their faces as she recounted her boyfriend forcing himself on her and her running out on him that night. Esme and Alice stayed planted in front of her, each with hands on her lap, comforting her in their silence. Carlisle, who kept his distance like me and Edward, was still present and Mike had stepped out, most likely feeling like he was intruding on something - like I felt. But with Edward's hand in my own, his closeness, his apparent want for me to stay where I was, I did and Rose continued explaining why she left Emmett and Jacob and why she still was unsure of having the child. I hadn't known that she had endless conversations with Alice and Esme about adoption or that she actually thought about abortion.

I felt small waves of panic hit my gut as I thought back to the first days after James' disappearance. There were hours of silence as I held pill bottles and liquor in my hands. No one knew about this, because no one was told. It made me uneasy what Edward would think if I ever told him that I considered suicide, killing me and my child - What sick, horrible person I was the first week James left me. He said he thought I was strong - I knew he was wrong. After a few minutes listening in on their conversation, I couldn't stomach it anymore. I backed away, unclasping my hands from Edward, getting a worried glance.

"I think they need alone time." I suggested and I stepped out, finding Mike to keep company.

**xXx**

_"We're going to do it, baby." His lips pressed against my warm skin, his knees seperating my thighs. He fell so easily into me like he did many times before. I moaned freely, clasping my hands around his neck, urging him to go deeper inside me, "We're making a family." He mouthed on my skin as his hips rocked gently against my own. We had just came from one of our regular A.I.S appointments, this time getting the news that my A.U would be ready for the surgery and James insemination. It was the best news for James - the news he had been wanting to hear the last year. My surgery was going to be in a week and seeing the joy in his eyes as he stripped me down and whispered words of affection in my ear, it made me excited with anticipation. Anything he wanted, I'd give it to him - a family included._

_ " I love you." I cried out hoarsly just as I felt my high at its peak. He hummed against my ear, kissing the soft flesh there - his way of saying 'me too', a common gesture he'd been doing for the years we were together._

I groaned, sitting up in my bed. My days and nights were becoming riddled with memories of James. It kept me up, made me lose my appetite at meals and had me silent during my daily calls with Bella and my first call with Edward. Our conversation was brief, he sensed my discomfort, asking if I was okay. I had to lie and say I was fine, but hearing the knock on the door that morning and seeing him at my front door, told me didn't believe me.

"Jasper," He said sweatly, dressed casually in a plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up and in fitted jeans, "Is it okay that I stopped by?" He asked, raking a hand through his hair.

I looked at him with tired eyes and nodded, "It's fine. Why...?" I didn't need to finish the sentence, seeing how it was nearly 10 AM and he was at my front door without alerting me that he was visiting.

"I'm on a short vacation - this being my first day. I was thinking maybe we could grab lunch?"

I stared at him in disbelief. So he wasn't here to check up on me, but to have lunch together. Despite my shock, I couldn't think of no other answer more suited for how I felt than "Sure." His wide, heart stopping smile had me momentarily lost for a few seconds, "Come in." I offered, stepping back and letting him in the narrow hallway.

"Thanks," He stepped in, his body brushing against mine. I had a brief flash to the baby shower a few days before. Although the night ended with Edward taking me home in dead silence, it didn't escape him to casually pet my hand before I stepped out of the car. The contact was therapeutic and even a bit arousing. He was fast in getting me home, probably reading the panic on my face. Seeing Rose like that, bearing things she hadn't even admit to Bella, made me hurt for her and myself, made me rethink everything about James and his disappearence. I have always known that I wasn't right, but seeing her how she was, it brought to attention just how _broken_ we both were. It hurt seeing her as she was, because it hurt seeing me.

It had been a few days and those were a blur of sleepless nights and moments lost in trying to catch up with the rest of America with media interest. Seeing Edward in my house on a Sunday morning was a big relief, moreso than I would have ever realized.

"Jazz, are you busy today?" He asked, when I lamely stood there in the hall with him, quiet as death.

"No." I shook my head. I was never busy these days, not with my hours watching dogs completely obliterated.

"Would it be okay if I had you all day?" He asked innocently, but my mind worked in overdrive, yearning for him to mean it in everyway possible. I didn't trust my response, so I nodded. My throat was dry and my hands shook at my sides. It was horrific that I wanted to hear those words in another context. He gave me that beautiful smile again, "Okay. You should get ready then. I'll make you breakfast. Is that alright with you, love?" I was able to get out a weak "yes". He didn't hesitate, taking my hand in his own, squeezing my palm gently before stepping up the stairs that lead to the living room and kitchen. I padded into my bedroom, grabbing some clothes out of my dresser before starting the shower. With James finally at the back of my mind, I began my morning as I would have a few weeks before, blind to the renewed bubbling knowledge of the world before being pregnant.

**XxX**

With toast and tea in me, we were on our way out to Edward's car. Knowing we had a meal to eat in an hour, he made breakfast light, suggesting it was wise to have something in my stomach if I was digesting so many medication.

Like a gentleman, he held open the passenger door to his car, gesturing for me to get in. When I was buckled in, he shifted the car's gears out of park and pulled away from the curb, "So I was thinking, Venice Beach." He said slowly, glancing at me briefly, "What do you think?" I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with that. All those people, and me with this obviously big bulge, too small to really be considered a pregnant belly, but too big for my taste to be labeled a beer gut. What if people stared?

"So many people," I frowned.

"There usually is," He said lightly, "Jasper, you need fresh air, an ocean breeze and a good cheeseburger with the side of a churro - you deserve it."

"People will see me." I argued weakly.

"They will," He agreed, "And don't hold it against them if they keep looking," It was obvious why. I looked deformed, unusual, "Because they'll be looking at something beautiful." I stared back at him in shock. He couldn't have said that. He had to be lying.

"Edward, you don't have to lie-"

He frowned at the statement, "Jasper, you should know by now that I wouldn't ever lie to you."

**xXx**

The days of May were beginning to warm up, but considering our close proximity to the ocean, the weather was more welcoming and breezy. Edward found parking by the boardwalk, and proceeded to dote on me with his gentlemanly manners, opening my door and offering his elbow with a joking smile, as if suggesting I humor him. I did, drawing my arm in the loop of his his, holding his bicep. Something about the way we perused the walkway, noting the passing rollerbladers and bike riders, discussing light things like the weather and the holidays put me at ease. On occassion, the wind would pick up, throwing my wavy hair around my forehead, only to settle in front of my eyes. Without hesitation, Edward's hand would sweep up, brushing my hair back as he did weeks before. Each time my gut would drop, I'd lose my place in our topic, stuttering, tripping on my words and he'd continue on as if nothing happened. I didn't understand how to read him. He was gentle, responsive to my every expression and physical discomfort. He never was personal, but his closeness to me screamed an intimacy I had with no one in his family. In no way was I put off, just confused. What was he doing to me? Why did I allow this? Why did I starve for his attention?

"Here we are." Edward smiled, gesturing to a Bistro. It was packed, but despite the overwhelming amount of people, we were able to get a table outside in decent time. We were handed a menu each by a dishevled looking girl, who uttered in a shaky whisper that she would be back to take our drinks and food order. Edward gave her a sympethetic smile and told her to take her time. she heaved a sigh of relief and said thanks before tossing us a genuine smile, backing up into the crowd of passing waitresses and customers.

"Is it always so busy here?" I watched in astonishment as another woman, more experienced and relaxed, balance a wide tray with four plates, weaving through people with ease.

"The beach can be vacant, but this place is always packed." Edward nodded around him, "They have great drinks and the most addictive seasoned fries."

"You come here often?"

"Used to with Em, before he got more busy with work. Our schedules worked better a year ago." He shrugged, clearly bugged by it, but trying to look unphased. Emmett must have meant a lot to him, if he chose to keep his company even after Emmett started dating Jacob. I frowned, pondering over just _how_ Edward felt about his friend.

"Do you still feel..." Edward cocked his head, waiting for me to finish, "Do you still have feelings for him?" Edward's eyes widened at my question. For a moment, he actually seemed lost in thought - speechless.

"No, Jasper, no!" He answered in defense. He snorted, shaking his head before answering in a much more hushed and tender tone, "No, Jazz. I love Emmett, but I think the both of us were never _in _love with each other. It's easy to say that now, but before, I was confused. We're very much emotionally dependant on the other - well, we were." He seemed to search for something in my eyes, before continuing, "Ever since Jake came into the picture, Em tended to direct much more of his energy towards him instead and I don't blame him."

I felt my lips pout out, noticing the trace of hurt in his eyes. He missed his best friend, "You think that's why he doesn't come here with you anymore?"

He seemed to actually consider the question for a second before shaking his head, "No. He _is_ pretty busy with everything going on..."

I leaned forward, suddenly curious, "What does Emmett do?"

Edward chuckled, as if finding something funny in my statement, "He trains celebrities and professional sports players into fitness."

I blinked in surprise. I knew Emmett had some form of business with the gym that I first met him in front of, but I had no idea his job was that...impressive, "Really?"

Edward nodded in affirmation, "Yeah, surprised me too." He shook his head, "With the way he was 'wowing' everyone at USC, it seemed so left field when he backed out to focus on his studies." Edward shrugged, "But I'm sure it's clear to you that in no way he would have settled for hiding his _identity_ or deal with the drama that comes with being out and a sport's figure."

"Did that upset him?"

"On the contrary. It's because of that, he met Jacob and got quite a comfortable job."

The young lady appeared once again, this time a bit more coordinated, hair in place, "What can I do for you gentlemen?" She asked politely.

"Water with lemon?" I asked, feeling a bit dull for requesting such a drink. It wasn't exactly a good idea to consume too much soda.

"Sprite." Edward requested with a gentle smile.

The girl nodded, "Do you still need more time with your menus?" She asked, pocketing her writing pad. Edward glanced at me for a second, then nodded, "Alright, be right back." She turned on her heels, a bounce in her steps.

We took that moment to browse through the menu with me trying to take note of what appealed more to my taste. In the recent days, I had a weird desire for potato skins, peanut butter and choclate, chilli chips.

Edward glanced at me over the menu, "Having trouble?" He asked, yet I could tell he was just asking to be polite.

I frowned, sliding my thumb along the number of meals, "Nothing looks..."

"Appealing?" He chuckled, placing the menu down on the table, "Here," He leaned forward over his menu to point to something on mine, "Try this."

I glanced at the order, then back at him, "Well, it looks like it could satisfy my taste." I mimicked his smile, trying to make it fit on my own face. It felt good having him there with me, talking about things that had nothing to do with our personal problems. And as much as I wasn't used to laughing, smiling or even feeling good, it was a fit I rather enjoyed.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, looking up at me sheepishly through long lashes. A flutter erupted in my stomach - suddenly it was hard to control my breathing, or thinking for that matter. It was silent at our table for a minute before he sweetly nudged me with his elbow, "Hmm, do you?"

"I do." I stammered, getting a wink from him.

"You'll love it, I promise."

**xXx**

"I still cannot get over how good that was," I felt a giddy giggle seep between my smile that I couldn't control. The afternoon air smelled of burgers and fries, but all my mind could focus on was the Cap N' Crunch fried chicken chicken strips with the peanut butter and fish sauce dressing, which smelled terrible, but tasted sublime and satiated my yearning for the creamy taste.

"Good things come from trusting me," Edward had an amused glint in his eye, but other than that seemed unphased by my out-of-character mood, "I never disappoint."

"Mmm," I licked my lips, recalling the dressing, "You don't." I glanced at him, surprised to see something stir in his expression - a look I had seen before, but couldn't put a finger on what it was. I shook off the weird feeling that gave me, "How did you know?"

Edward blinked and the look was gone, "My mom has been doing Expecting Care on and off for years now. I've seen some pretty sick things women eat when they are pregnant," He wrinkled his nose, "That item on the menu being one of the tamest. I personally never liked Cap N' Crunch, so I couldn't say it is good."

"It is." I corrected, catching him roll his eyes playfully.

"Right, right," He snapped his fingers as if he was slowly catching on, "Forgot." His phone rang, interupting our moment. He dug in his back pocket, pulling out his cell, checking the caller ID before grumbling to himself, "Sorry, Jazz. It's Em. Is it okay if I take it?"

"Sure." It was sweet of him to consider my opinion, but I was with him on _his_ vacation time, the least I could do was let him take a call.

"Hey, Em," He spoke into the phone, keeping close to me as we strolled the boardwalk. There was a moment of silence, followed by a groan, "Yes, I'm with him...No, Em, we haven't...._Fuck_, is that all you think about?" He scowled into the phone, causing me to bite my lip to contain my smile, "Emmett, get to the point." He growled, "Alright, we'll see." He hung up the phone and shook his head.

"You alright?" I prodded, almost sure that he was more annoyed with his friend than angry.

"Yeah," He sighed, "Emmett invited us over for dinner," He waited for my reaction, when I didn't say anything he shrugged, "It's not up to him that you come, it's up to you. If that's not what you want-" For the first time that afternoon, he actually appeared a bit upset.

"Is it what you want?" I asked. I had no problems with Emmett, in fact, I had to admit to myself that I rather enjoyed his company and took to him easier than anyone other than Bella and Edward. He made me laugh, despite his interest for saying some rather uncomfortable things. Edward registered the question, giving me a perplexed look, "It's your vacation, Edward," I explained, "You should do what you want."

"But what I want is to be with you." Hearing those words opened some sort of floodgate of emotion in me. I felt my heart pulsing in my ears and I was all too sure that my cheeks had gone red, "I mean, I enjoy your company and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." He corrected. I suddenly suffered a wave of relief and disappointment.

I held my hands in front of me, scared that he'd seem shaking. I had to get over this. Edward was a good guy as was he beautiful and a loyal friend. He'd be a perfect friend for me, but I couldn't just assume that he had any type of feelings for me, even if my own feelings were swelling, growing and warming for him.

"Do you not want to go?" the volume in his voice dropped and he took a step forward, wrapping his fingers around my intwined hands. He had caught the gesture, that I'm sure he feared and resented it, because before it meant that I didn't trust him, whereas now, it meant that I trusted him too much and took to him too easily, "Love, speak to me." I felt a shimmer of hope rise in me when his hand came up to cup my face, his thumb rubbing circles in my cheekbone.

"It scares me," I started, not sure if I should finish or not, but the look on his face when I began was of horror, so I had to let him know the truth, "It scares me that I'm so comfortable with you - that I care about how you feel."

His emerald eyes flickered back and forth between my own. For a moment, I saw anger flash in his eyes, and that frightened me, but then, it was gone just as quickly, replaced by something that resembled adoration, "You shouldn't be scared. It makes me happy that you would feel that way," He started slowly, his thumb continued its massage, "I'm staying here, okay?"

"No," I frowned, "We should go. It'll be fun." I wanted to see Emmett and Jacob and I wanted Edward to have a good time.

He chuckled, shaking his head, "No, love, that's not what I meant," He leaned in only for a second, before dropping his hand, "How about we get ourselves a churro, before heading over?"

**xXx**

**AN:** Hooray, to Edward and Jasper being closer! This is the start of a new beginning!


	13. Nineteen Weeks

**Author's Notes :**It appears I have a dilemma. My head is polluted with naughty one-shot ideas. I think I might do a summer one-shot palooza. I have more time with school out of the way, so I think I'll finally be able to finish some incomplete work and actually COMPLETE many one-shots I've actually started writing earlier this year. Here's to hoping.

This chapter is mostly just for fun. There is important snippets (the italics, Jasper's thoughts on Edward) but a lot of it is me feeding into my Emmett and Jacob love. Hope ya'll enjoy it as well.

Thanks for reading!

**Do Not Own The Characters**

**Chapter Thirteen: 19 Weeks**

_ "Honey, If you lay a finger on that apple pie, it'll be the last pie you'll ever see." My mother's voice was warm, but I could tell she meant it. I dropped my hands at my sides and looked over at her. She never wore aprons when cooking, she used to say it was better to get dirty than play it safe. My father said the same thing about working on his truck. _

_ "Sug, can you grab my oven mittens over there?" Her hands gestured towards the counter across the kitchen._

_ "Yes, mama." I regrettably turned away from the sweet smelling pie on and grabbed the floral patterned oven mitt, my grandma made, something my mother took home with her when she passed. It was one of the only things - other than the quilt she made for me when I was seven - that we had to remember her by.I handed my mother the oven mitt and with concentration in her eyes, she opened the oven door to check on the chicken, "What's got you inside so early? Mary-Anne couldn't be sick with you yet." My mother referred to my neighbor down the street. Even at the age of thirteen, I could see that there was a change in the way she grew taller, how her blonde hair fell over her shoulders and how she began to shape up just like the older girls. The boys in my class found her beautiful and appealing, but I couldn't help being more interested in my male friends and how they've grown._

_ "Aw, Mary-Anne don't interest me, mama," I whined. She tutted, but continued on with placing the potatoes in the oven next, "I know she likes me."_

_ "Well, sugar, she's a nice girl." She said, lightly, "Not that I approve of you dating or anything. I'm just saying, honey, that's it's okay to like her back."_

_ "I don't." I grumbled, getting a low chuckle from her, "I'd much rather hang out with Bailey." Her back seemed to tense over the oven._

_ "Is that so, sug?" She spoke non-nonchalantly, standing up by the sink._

_ "Mmm Hmm." I nodded, not sensing just how keenly she took to watching me._

_ "Well, he's a good boy." She nodded. There was a thud and a stumble in the belly of the house, causing my mother to sigh, "Your father's up." The distain on her tongue confused me. It was nearly night, why had father taken a nap at such a time?_

_ "Sug, do me a favor and get the pie," A small smirk crossed her lips, "I promise to let you have a taste."_

_**xXx**  
_

"Vampire?" Emmett stared at the card, "How in the hell is a vampire fluffy?" he stared at Jacob. We had been playing Apples-to-Apples for the last two hours. It was as addicting as ever a game I played.

"Nothing intimidating about a vampire," Jacob said in his typical non-nonchalance.

"You think so?" Emmett asked with raised eyebrows, "Baby, if I was a vampire, I'd surely suck you off then suck the blood out your cock. That doesn't frighten you?"

Jacob rolled his eyes, "Depends. If it's daytime, you wouldn't be all that intimidating."

Edward was smiling devilishly from my side of the coffee table, "What is more intimidating then?"

"Werewolves."

Edward and Emmett snorted at the same time, "Uh huh, sure honey."

"Werewolves are massive and fast and by no means leave two small puncture wounds on your neck, they tear asses up; vampires included." I had to agree with him on that.

Emmett bit his lip, "Mmm, sexy, would you dress up as a wolf and tear my ass up?" He leaned against his boyfriend, licking his ear suggestively. I looked away, suddenly interested in my cards and Edward cleared his throat. I could hear both boys snickering across the table as I tried to focus on our game.

"Well then, I pick fluffy." Emmett cooed to his boyfriend, "Here's your green card, baby. Handle with care."

It had been a fun-filled week, mostly with Edward, Emmett and Jacob. Despite a brief luncheon with Bella, they pretty much filled up all my free days with threatre trips, a visit to Universal Studios and even a day at Ventura beach. For that Tuesday night, due to both Jacob and Emmett's busy day, we took to staying in, playing games - Apples - to - Apples, which Edward chose. All three men decided to make it also a drinking game, whomever wins, gets a shot. It wasn't supposed to be a game to actually get drunk, but we were speeding through pretty fast, since me and Edward kept winning. Edward already had three shots in and I, pregnant, got to choose who took my own. So far, I chose Jacob and Emmett and so far, I was regretting it. Liquor was fuel to propel them to touch each other, and eventually end the game. Every and each time they got a bit touchy, Edward would settle for clearing his throat and I divert my eyes elsewhere. This time around, I was used to it. And what bothered me most was the images and ideas that came to my mind. Edward had been in my company nearly everyday the last week and watching both of his friends be intimate with each other only reminded me in how much I found him attractive. That evening, he wore a thin vintage Devo shirt and his usual fitted jeans. His hair, as usual, was wild and about.

After a few of his shots, he had become smirky and a bit as dirty-tongued as his best friend. The next person to pull the green card and choose was me. I flipped the card over, staring at the adjective, "Attractive." I read. From the corner of my eye, I caught Edward bite his lip, looking down at his set of cards.

Jacob snickered again, but mumbled when he couldn't find the right words, "I don't see 'cock' on here." He pouted.

"You mean you don't see _Emmett's cock_." Emmett corrected. Digging through his own deck, before placing his card face down on the table.

Edward followed, winking at me. I blushed, but couldn't turn away. His cheeks glowed a red rose in the dim light of the living room and the way he pressed his teeth into his bottom lip...

Oh God, what was I thinking?

I turned away, just in time to see Jacob place his card down. I reached over, mixing the deck deftly as to not distinguish everyone's answers before flipping them over. I saw three cards:

_Ice Cream_

_Robert De Niro_

_Boys_

I lifted my eyes to Emmett who actually had a look of shock, "Who picked 'boys'?" He glanced at Jacob who was merely looking at Edward.

"Well _boys_," Edward said with a bit of edge in his voice, "I see that I win again." He took the green card, completing his number he needed to win. He grabbed the bottle of patron, pouring another shot before taking it in with ease.

"...The fuck?" Jacob narrowed his eyes, before turning to Emmett, "Yeah, maybe we should wind down with a movie."

"Good idea." Emmett and I said in unison, already gathering the cards. We were diligent in our card assembling, that I didn't notice Jacob sneak off to my side to lean in.

"I've only known Edward to drink when he's trying to be clever. Whatever he does, don't hold it against him." He warned.

I blinked at the last sentence, "Why? What will he do?"

Jacob gave me a hard look before inhaling deeply, "He tends to speak without a filter." He stood on his feet, closing the box before disappearing down the hallway to put it back in the guest room.

"So I'm thinking _The Davinci Load_," Emmett clapped his hands together, giving me and Edward the wiggle of the eyebrows, "What do you boys think?" He looked over his shoulder.

"...Load?" I asked, unsure of _what_ exactly we were watching, "Is it a Suspense movie?"

"It's porn." Edward sighed, pushing himself up on the couch. He leaned over and held out his hand for me to take, but I was unsure if he was balanced enough to handle my weight, so I stood on my own. He craned his neck back, watching me with sad, glazed eyes and a small pout.

"You like porn, Blondie?" I could hear Emmett ask from the DVD shelf.

"Um..." I couldn't say I've never watched, but in the recent years, porn was never on my mind. I knew it was natural for male friends to watch it together, but thinking about that made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Emmett and Jacob were touchy enough as it was. And Edward...I looked over at him and nearly yelped out in surprise. He was watching me with a concentrated stare, "You okay?" I whispered. He kept his eyes on me and nodded slowly.

Jacob was back in the living room, stepping behind Emmett, looking over his shoulders as his arms wrapped around his waist, "Put in _The Goonies_, babe." He offered. Emmett, holding the porno DVD in his hand, cackled and placed it back in it's case, before grabbing another DVD case.

"Fucking love this movie." He all but giggled, turning to peck Jacob's cheek. Jacob pulled away, turning to sit on the other end of the sectional, catching my eye and winking to let me know everything was under his control. I had to thank him later, he was saving me from a _very _compromising situation. I wasn't sure what was going on with Edward, but I was sure it would have gotten worse with the porn.

The movie started and Emmett settled in next to Jacob, both of them leaning towards each other, cuddling. I gave a wishful sigh, turning my eyes towards the screen. I felt a shift next to me, the fluffy cushion of the couch weighing down at my thigh. I figured Edward was getting comfortable and continued watching the film, actually glad that this was a movie I watched when I was a child, something I used to catch on TV when mom was out in the garden or cooking dinner and dad was working. I frowned, feeling off at the memory. The comforts of the movie suddenly rattled something in me. I tore my eyes from the TV and stared at my lap, focusing on forgetting the memories. I had been successful this far, why was it becoming so hard to hold them back? I was able to do this when I was alone, but James and my parents were stumbling through my mind the more I opened up to everyone else.

Was this a warning...? Was it bound to happen again?

I felt myself panicking.

I nearly jumped feeling the warmth on my neck, "Love," I heard Edward's low voice, "What's wrong?"

I shut my eyes, drowning out the TV and focusing on keeping myself together, "I'm fine."

He sighed. I felt the curve of his finger under my chin, directing me to look at him, "Speak to me."

I couldn't ruin whatever buzz he had going. We were having such a good time these last few days, why did I have to lose my nerve now? "Edward..." His name came out a whisper, but he reacted as if I shouted it, his neck snapping up to attention, his green eyes focusing on me. His finger uncurled lifting to my cheek, where he palmed my warming skin.

"You're so beautiful," He whispered and my blush only deepened, "It hurts me seeing you so upset." I tried to look away, but something in his eyes held me there. I had to remember he was slightly intoxicated.

"Everything okay over there?" Emmett said from over Jacob's shoulder. Even in the screenlight, I could see his devious smirk.

I gave a small smile over to Emmett, "We're fine." Edward seemed to disagree with my statement, huffing loudly before dropping his hand. I stared at him perplexed and...amused. Clearly liquor had an interesting effect on him. He literally _pouted_ and turned away to the TV. I chanced a glance at Jacob, to see if he caught that - he did, giving me a knowing look that unmistakeably said _"See?"_

Edward's attitude evaporated all that threatened to ruin my night. We all continued watching the movie in peaceful silence, Edward still appearing to act like an upset child. About halfway through, I felt the slight itch in my eyes, the ever inevitable exhaustion as I yawned a bit too loudly, covering my mouth with my hand. It seemed to rouse something in Edward, who suddenly sat up straighter, watching me with attentive eyes.

"What's the matter, Jazz, honey? Are you tired? Do you want to go home?" His emerald eyes shimmered in what looked to be an earnest need for something. I didn't have time to respond, mostly due to the fact that I was flabbergasted at the way the words flew out his mouth.

Emmett, listening in on Edward, perked his head up, "You, sexy, are in no condition to drive Blondie home." I checked Edward's reaction and was completely thrown off when I caught a sly _smirk_ slide across it, before vanishing almost instantly when his eyes met mine. He leaned back, stretching, yawning in what seemeed to be with a little too much enthusiasm. Everyone else's attention was drawn from the movie, reveling at the odd behavior he was exhibiting. Emmett, Jacob and I exchanged glances, before Emmett, with a devilish gleam in his eye, said, "Oh, that's a shame, isn't it? Edward is tired _and_ buzzed. I guess you're just going to have to sleep over with us, Blondie."

"What?" I sqeuaked in a near panicked voice. I was not expecting this at all. Over the recent days, we had stayed out well into 3 AM, but never had the offer been given to me. I didn't know how to take it. Did they feel they were forced to have me here? They couldn't have felt so comfortable yet to invite me to stay...

I had to ask, "You don't have to. I mean, if me being here overnight is too much..."

Confusion looked comical on Emmett's face, "The fuck, Blondie?" His eyebrows furrowed and just like Edward an hour earlier, pouted, "What makes you think we'd feel that way?"

Jacob, who seemed to be less surprised merely said, "You're our friend, Jazz." I blinked hearing him say my name like that, "If you're tired, you're more than welcome to stay here. We still have our spare room set up from when Rosalie stayed."

Emmett nodded in agreement, "Yeah, we do. King sized bed too." He seemed to be holding back a statement. It worked for 2 seconds before he let it out, "You're more than welcome to try it out with Edward here. He's been _dying_ to share a bed with you again." He laughed out, despite getting a punch on the shoulder from his boyfriend.

"Eat a dick, Em." Edward scowled, pouting again. I forgotten just how profane he had been the whole night.

Emmett merely smiled, "I plan on it." He reached a hand around Jacob's waist. I turned away, knowing what he was aiming for and was satisfied I did when I heard the yelp from Jacob.

The conversation died then as we finished watching. Despite my initial shock at their invitation, I could not turn down their welcoming gesture for me to stay over. I hadn't thought about Edward sleeping in the bed with me until Emmett brought it up. It scared me to say that _that_ idea didn't bother me one bit. Having him close to me had me happier than I had ever been before, even with old memories resurfacing. I felt oddly _human _- alive and fucntioning, not robotic, living from day to day. It was more than Expecting Care, having something to look forward to, there was a flurry of energy in me whenever he called me that endearing term, touched me, showed that he cared. I tried to convince myself again and again that I liked this because it was temporary and my own fantasy, but each day it sunk in more and more; there was no way I could live without how me made me feel.

**xXx**

I didn't stay up long enough for the credits. With a jerk, I sat up, trying to place exactly where I was. I looked around, trying to adjust to the dark room. I was in a bed, that much, I knew for sure. My sudden movement had the bed shuddering in an aftershock. I heard a low grunt and jumped, surprised to feel warmth so close to me.

"Love?" His voice was low and groggy. My stomach dropped what felt like ten stories. This intimate moment had me yearning for something I wasn't sure I could comprehend just yet, "Is everything alright?" I could tell I had woken him up. How long had we been sleeping? Did someone carry me to bed? I blushed at the thought. Was it him?

The weight of the bed sunk a bit before I felt him sit up beside me. The palm of his hand brushed up against my back and I shivered. Something about that touch felt too right, "Love?" He questioned again and I actually felt the yearn again, this time heightened by his touch.

Oh God, I wanted to kiss him.

"I'm fine." I whispered weakly, "I just didn't know I slept through the movie." He hummed in understanding, his hand massaging the muscles in my back.

"Still tired?" He asked, waking up a bit. I nodded, unable to vocalize much anymore, "Lay down with me?" He asked and I could feel the affection behind it. My skin burned in need. I sat back hesitating whether or not I should go with it, and then without thinking past that, my head met the pillow it was once on.

He shifted closer, settling in beside me. There was so much room on the bed, yet I _felt_ him. I had settled on my side, seeing how it was now my limited position. He was behind me hands resting loosely on my side.

The last time I felt this intimacy with someone, sharing the same bed...I tensed. He felt it, pulling away, "No!" I protested, not wanting to feel the absence of his touch, despite what it reminded me of, "Please."

"Okay," He snuggled closer, his hand snaking around my waist, resting on my bulging stomach, "Shh, it's okay sweetie." He comforted. I didn't understand what he was calming me down for, until I heard the pants shaking me. This was harder for me than I could understand. My back met his chest and I could feel myself calm down considerably.

This was wrong. It had to be.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, for what, I wasn't sure.

"Don't worry about it." He soothed. I couldn't fight the affect he had on me. And how easy I fell into his clutches and sleep.

**xXx**

_"We're going to do it, baby." His lips pressed against my warm skin, his knees separating my thighs. He fell so easily into me like he did many times before. I moaned freely, clasping my hands around his neck, urging him to go deeper inside me. "We're making a family." He mouthed on my skin as his hips rocked gently against me. I shivered in pleasure, gazing at the man I loved. Dirty blonde hair was no more. A set of bronze locks were entangled in my fingers. _

_ " I love you." I cried out hoarsely just as I felt my high at its peak. He hummed against my ear, kissing the soft flesh there and pulled away, green eyes focused on my own, "I love you too." Our lips met and I felt the world move under us. God, I wanted this. I wanted a family - with him._

"Edward." my eyes popped open, my dream fresh in my head. Stretching, I felt my hand stroke along the belly of someone in front of me. My head cocked up, confused. How did we reverse positions during the night? Edward, still asleep, cuddled against me. I gasped, feeling my hand locked between his own. His hair, as tussled as ever was all I could see, but I could tell by his deep, slow breaths that he was still sleeping. I took in his frame and to my surprise, I smiled. I wasn't able to enjoy the moment long.

"Aw, now would you look at that, baby?" I jumped, pulling my hand away, sitting up on the bed, looking back at a very muscular and shirtless Emmett, shamelessly standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame of the door, "Had fun, Blondie?" Jacob poked his head in the room, rolled his eyes and tugged his boyfriend by the biceps.

"Jesus, Em," He scoffed, "I think you're more eager to see them fuck than they are." He disappeared from the doorway, walking down the hallway.

Emmett didn't seem to deny the comment, merely chuckled with his arms crossed watching me intently, "Like that little show Edward pulled last night?" He asked.

I sat up, straighter in bed, groaning when I realized I still had my pants on from the day before. They were sweatpants, considering Edward urged that I dress comfortably since we weren't going anywhere. I kicked my legs over the side of the bed before I commented, "Is he usually like that...?"

"Only when he has the hots for the Cullen favorite." He smiled. I frowned. What did that mean? "So, did you have a taste of his protein shake yet?" He cackled.

Oh boy, I hope he wasn't asking...

"Of course you hadn't. Edward's all proper." He rolled his eyes, "Leave it to him to go through all that just to share a bed with you."

My frown deepened, "What do you mean?"

Emmett hesitated, looking down the hall to see if Jacob was near-by before casting a glance at Edward, "Remember the first night you came over." Falling asleep in Edward's arm for the first time. Yeah, I remembered. I nodded, "Remember when you conked out halfway through _The Matrix_?" The smile on his face was getting wider.

"I do."

"Well, you talked."

"I...what?"

Emmett leaned his weight against the open door, "You got a little vocal in your sleep."

My eyes widened, "What did I say?"

"I hate to say that I love to say this, Blondie, but," And he bit his lip before he uttered his next words, "You have _bad _it for Edward ."

"Emmett, what did I say?"

He ignored my question, "And remember after that whole A.I.S debacle, when Edward slept over?" Emmett waited for me to acknowledge the account. It was something that I particularly didn't like thinking about, "Edward couldn't - _wouldn't_ stop talking about it," Emmett focused his eyes on Edward, "Let's just say last night was his way of...finding a means to make it happen again."

I felt the hope, the fear - everything. Edward really cared about me. It wasn't a fantasy. This was reality. Yet, I wasn't sure I was ready to acknowledge what that meant for us.

"Get ready for a lot of groaning and moaning," Emmett grumbled, "And not the type you'll want, trust me. Mr. Perfect will be apologizing for last night."

**XxX**

"Jasper," The grip he had on the wheel was whitening his knuckles, "What I did last night was inexcusable." He hadn't stared at me all morning. The open, affectionate Edward was lost to a nearly frantic Edward driving me home, "I shouldn't have lost control like that. I shouldn't have drank those shots. You counted on me for a ride home-"

"Edward, everything was fine. You did nothing wrong." I tried my best to ease his guilt. Emmett was right. He knew just as well as anyone else close to Edward that he'd feel guilty.

"What I did. What I said." He had finally pulled in front of the resident building, parking the car and turning to me, "Jasper, please understand that-"

"You wanted to be sleep with me?" Edward gaped at me, eyes wide and mouth opened.

"Jasper." His voice shook, "I had _no _intentions-"

I shook my head, realizing my fault in my statement, "No, Edward. Emmett said - "

Edward growled, "Emmett." The look in his eyes were fury.

It seemed I messed up again. It would kill me, knowing I made him furious with his best friend. I planted a hand on his cheek, hoping that was enough to calm him, "Listen to me, Edward," It did. The anger in his eyes dying, melting away to something else, "He told me something I'm sure he shouldn't have, but it helped me understand you a little better. Emmett's impatient and I'm sure he sees something _we_ don't. He told me that you wanted to be close." At the last words, he frowned.

"Sweetie, please," His tone was nearly desperate, "I don't want you to think I want anything from you. I -" He bit his lip in agitation as he shook his head. He looked so lost and helpless. I couldn't digest why I felt so drawn to him. Why I yearned to make him feel better. I wanted so much to -

"Jasper -" My palms pressed firm against his cheek, cutting his sentence short, "Jazz." He pleaded.

"I want to be close to you too, Edward." I needed him to feel better and I knew that being honest would do just that.

His eyes searched my own, "Love, you don't have to tell me this to -" I couldn't hold back the urge, pulling my thumb across his lip. How much I wanted to kiss him. The need overwhelmed me.

I inhaled sharply, leaning in. I wanted so much to taste him. It was something so different from before. He let me have control. He let me have a choice. And right then and there, my choice was him.

**XxX**

**AN: S**omething finally clicked in Jasper. It seemed it took his brain and a little help from Emmett to figure it out too...But it's not going be THAT easy. Tell me what you guys think!


	14. Twenty Weeks

**Author's Notes: **Alright, back for more. Sorry so much for the cliffhanger...or maybe I'm not..hee hee. I hope this chapter will make you guys feel a bit better. A lot stuff going on.

And just a late disclaimer. If any of you forgotten, this story is rated M. I'll be honest, if anything of mine is rated M, it'll have sex and it'll be raunchy and hot. That's just how I roll. Jasper and Edward **WILL ** have sex, it's just a matter of when. That's for anyone squeamash about it. Unfortunately I hate giving warnings before chapters, because it ruins the surprise. I don't like that sex makes people uncomfortable, but sex is sex and everyone does it at one point, including deliciously hot men.

More notes after the chapter.

**Do Not Own Characters**

**Chapter Fourteen: 20 Weeks**

I couldn't say it was a mistake, but it wasn't meant to be. The sharp knocking at the window had us both jumping back. I had forgotten it was Wednesday morning - Alice was my ride to Expecting Care, so it was not surprising to see her standing outside Edward's Volvo with a look of confusion. 

I looked back at that moment a week later with a sense of dread. Alice broke a moment that could have changed our relationship. I wanted so much to kiss him, to taste him. I wanted to show my gratitude, my need to give him what he gave me, yet it wasn't right. It couldn't be.

I hadn't called Edward in 7 days and neither did he.

I was so scared that I misread it all. I knew he cared, but it didn't necesarily mean he _wanted_ me. Thinking back to that morning, sitting in the car with Alice, she finally opened a door I hadn't thought was there.

"I did that on purpose." She said honestly, her eyes trained on the road, "I saw you two in the car and I knew it was going to happen. You were going to kiss him, weren't you?" She finally looked at me, her green eyes ablaze with something I wasn't sure of.

"What..? How-"

"Look, I just saw it coming." He tapped the steering wheel impatiently, "Obviously you stayed the night with him and the boys, that's a big step and I award that and all..." She rambled. I watched her in shock, "But you're just not ready yet."

"Ready?" I wasn't sure I knew what she was talking about, "Alice, Emmet told me you.. that you-"

"Bet you guys were going to hit it off in that awesome _very_ friendly way?" She asked, "Yeah, I did. But no offense Jazz, you both have a lot of things to work out. And although a kiss won't damage anything as bad as sex would, there is still something you need to see..."

If Alice hadn't proven just how odd she was before, she proved it then. I stared at her, jaw hanging, feeling just a bit violated for not having a say in _when_ I could make up my mind. What did she mean there was something I still needed to see? And how much time before that actually came?

"Don't worry," She reassured me as if reading my mind, "It's not going to be long, I promise."

And that's what had me in overdrive since then. If it wasn't perfect now, it wouldn't ever be. I had become more emotionally dependant on Edward than I have with anyone else. Whatever she wanted me to see, maybe I already had. Maybe the kiss that I was giving him was misdirected as romantic affection. Maybe the kiss I was supposed to be giving him was the platonic kiss of thanks.

It wasn't a mistake, because she caught me and took that time to give me a heads up. She opened my eyes. I was in over my head. My desire for Edward was the driving force to my decision. Hell, I wasn't even _thinking_. What would have happened after that kiss? Sex? My body hummed with yearning at the thought, but it wasn't possible. To feel him in me with my child...God, I had gone insane.

And what of our relationship after he was born? In no way would I demand his affections for my child, but I just couldn't see him being part of the picture if he wouldn't accept the whole package. This wasn't right. Edward wasn't a father to my child and I couldn't force him to be. That kiss was an implication to our future when we had none at all.

A week later and I was silently thanking Alice. Yet I wasn't ready to have the conversation with Edward. Thursday morning, I awoke to the harmonies of birds outside my window. I forgot I had left the window open all night. I rolled on my side, trying to ignore the fact that I was still unable to sleep with the other side of the bed being empty. the last few days I had kept close to home, only leaving twice for the A.I.S visit and Expecting Care. Carlisle came over for our check-up offering his company again, but I dismissed him without thinking farther on it. I had ignored his hurt gaze all morning, but the guilt still sunk in. I wasn't as isolated as I was earlier in my pregnancy though. Bella was dropped off Saturday morning and we spent the day having sandwiches and tea on the patio, talking about our plans for the summer, well more so of hers after her baby was born.

Padding around the house, I fought internally with what to wear. Dressing was becoming more and more difficult as the weeks wore on. My bulge had expanded so much, it was becoming a task to see my toes. I felt beyond unattractive and frustrated, especially when it came to trying shirts and jeans on. It was still a chore finding maternal menwear, a specific shopper's buy, so the two jeans and shirts I had were from an online store. I settled on one of the jeans, feeling much like a clown. It was my first time wearing them after getting them in the mail a few days before.

I had to be ready by noon and I really only had about a half hour left. Alice had called earlier to make sure I was up and at it. She was my ride over to Bella's and she expected me to be punctual, because she was as ever on time.

30 Minutes later, I was grabbing my keys off the coffee table, holding the gift bag in my right, before waddling down the narrow stairs to the front door. As I double checked to make sure I had everything, a strong knock sounded on the door, causing me to jump. Frowning at the idea that Alice was actually _early_, I grumbled to myself, opening the heavy door, expecting a short, eccletically dressed looking doll, but getting a rather tall and built brunette with warming dimples and twinkling brown eyes.

"I swear, blondie. You get more sexy everytime I see you." Emmett hummed in appreciation. He gave me an intense look up and down before smirking. I felt my cheeks go hot. It was still hard to get used to his flirting.

"Em?" I asked, unsure of why he was there.

"Long time, no see!" He boomed, holding my shoulders and pulling me towards him. I gasped feeling his lips on my own.

"Emmett!" I sputtered in shock when he pulled back with a devilish cackle.

In his usual relaxed demeanor, he leaned against the doorframe, "I'm here as your escort." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I couldn't really reply. Instead my fingers brushed my lips as I replayed the kiss. I'd seen him try this many times on Edward, but I never expected him to be so forward with me. As much as Emmett was wild, he usually treaded softly with me in Edward's company. But with Edward absence, it was Emmett McCarty undiluted.

"I - I thought Alice," I mumbled.

"Rose was a bit out of it this morning," at the mention of Rosalie, Emmett lost a bit of his smile, "So Alice and her are going to be a little late today."

I couldn't help the worry that rattled me, "Is she-?"

"She's cool." Emmett held up a hand, "But, yeah, there was a false alarm panic." He shrugged, but I could still see the dimmed light behind his eyes, "Ready to go?"

**xXx**

I was happy to observe that Emmett's driving tactics had become more calculated and thoughtful. He kept his side of the conversation very Emmett-like mentioning new releases porn DVDs and the wonder of certain brands of lubrication compared to others. His manner of speaking seemed safe enough, until he brought up Edward.

"Sooo, has Edward explored your bat cave?" I jolted upright in my seat when the words left his mouth.

"E-Em..." I stammered, trying to avoid answering.

He shrugged, "I figured not," then he shook his head, "Always the gentleman." There was a small moment of silence. I actually believed the subject to had been dropped, but he spoke up again, "Well, clearly blondie, something happened."

"What makes you say that?"

Emmett shrugged, "Whenever there is progress with you, Edward retreats and holes himself up in the studio."

"What do you mean _whenever_?" Had there even been progress before the last week or so?

"I mean that the happier he gets about you, the more sullen he gets about you," When I gave him a confused look, he chuckled, "I've never believed him to actually _make_ sense. But what can you expect with - " And to my surprise, Emmett closed his mouth.

"What is it?" I pressed, curious. How could Edward be happy with me and upset at the same time?

"Huh?" Emmett said innocently, "We had no such conversation." He threw me a wink, before turning into the neighboorhood outside Bella's house, "You guys won't be emo all night, will you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You boys are like a Torture Romance Novel. I'm getting tired of waiting around for the penetration. If little man wasn't nestled up in your belly, I would have gotten you both wasted by this point and watched the show." He snickered.

I rolled my eyes, feeling a grin coming on. It surprised me how interested Emmett was in our relationship and how amused it hade me, "Em- OH!" I exclaimed, my hands immediately landed on the bulge of my stomach.

"What happened?" Emmett jerked around in his seat. He pulled the car off in front of a house, before he turned to me, "Say something, blondie!"

My body shook as I tried to really put my finger on the sensation, "I - Oh God!" I felt it then. The lump, hitting the palm of my hand. Was that...?

"Fuck, did your water break?" Emmett looked over my shoulder, at the floor of the car, "Are you in labor!" His brown eyes were wide with panic.

"Emmett?" I tried to calm him down, but he seemed to have lost his sanity for the moment. This wasn't the moment to remind him that I was only 5 months pregnant and unable to have my 'water break' like women.

"Should I call the ambulance?" He exclaimed, digging into his pocket, "Do your breathing thing. They still teach that shit, right?" He demonstrated the lamaze breathing techniques as he entered keys onto his phone. I didn't want him calling an emergency when there wasn't one.

"Emmett," I tried again, my voice surprisingly calm. I grabbed his free hand and placed it on the special spot on my stomach where I felt the pressure.

"Jasper, what is - HOLY SHIT!" His eyes were wider, but despite his surprise he kept his hand there.

"Did you feel him?" My voice was shaking with excitement. Emmett nodded, perhaps too flabbergasted to speak, "I'm sorry I scared you. I just was taken by surprise. That was a strong kick. I don't know what he's doing in there." I explained. I could feel myself calming down from the shock. I was okay, everything was fine, everything was perfect. A flutter of excitement rush through my gut as I caressed the spot around Emmett's fingers. It was with perfect clarity that I understood what was coming. I was having a baby. It was no longer an idea, a distant future. It was right around the corner and all it took was a kick to come to terms with that.

"Fuck, man," Emmett sighed, "I wish I could have been there when this first happened to Rose." I was a bit thrown off to witness the tenderness in his voice.

"You'll be there for other things." I promised, "When she's born, when she first walks. Rose has you now, that's what's important." My hands fell over his. We were silent under our own thoughts before he finally pulled away.

"So I was right. A boy." Emmett nodded with a smirk.

"I guess you were."

"Huh." He shook his head, taking the car's gear out of park, "You are quite a specimen, blondie."

I didn't know what to say to that.

**xXx**

The grin on Mike's face seemed permanant.

"Bella, honey!" He sang, holding her hand in his as he walked her over to the swinging patio chair, "Have a seat, angel." Bella rolled her eyes before casting a glance in my direction. We both laughed as Mike playfully played host to everyone in the house.

The place was small and quaint, but able to fit those of us that were invited to the baby shower, including Mike's mother who doted on Bella nearly as much as he did.

"Bella, dear." Mrs. Newton walked over to her, "Would you like to open the gifts outside?"

Bella shrugged, "It's nice out. I wouldn't mind."

Mike had treated the shower as a BBQ, opening up the grill, discussing football animatedly with Carlisle, Emmett and Jacob who had just arrived from work an hour after our arrival. Edward was nowhere to be seen, but from what Bella said, he was on his way. Alice and Rose were the last to come, both pleasantly happy. I spent the afternoon listening to Alice go on about how she nearly lost her life that morning to Rose crying out in pain.

"I was tired and aching from the night before," Rose shook her head, "It slipped Alice's mind that she bought ice cream instead of organic soy ice cream. I have been extremely lactose intolerant during my pregnancy."

"Oh yeah, blame me." Alice rolled her eyes, "You didn't even notice. You ate that right up." She huffed, but looked guilty all the same.

"I had extreme stomach pains." Rose rubbed her belly affectionately.

Alice pouted, her hand now rubbing Rosalie's belly as well, "Sorry."

With the wave of her hand, she laughed and shook her head. An hour or so later, we were eating on the patio, enjoying the cool breeze even in the nearing summer season. Jacob, Emmett and Rose were comfortably talking about cribs and strollers which had me thrown. I was seeing another side to the boys, one I felt ashamed for never believing to exist. Catching the occasional affectionate gesture of a hand on her belly as they spoke about plans. I felt like I was missing something, but it didn't matter. She seemed happier with them around.

I got up, excusing myself to the restroom. My bladder was still a beast it seemed. When I was fully relieved, I stepped out of the guest bathroom, perusing the small living room before finding my way back in the kictchen. I wasn't ready to step outside and continue mingling with everyone - not yet. My mind was on overdrive and the one steering was Edward. The regret I felt that it was Emmett in the car with me and not him was eating me up inside. I couldn't understand. Why was it important for him to be there? Why did I need that confirmation that Edward wasn't perfect for me? I wanted him more than I ever suspected, yet I needed him away. How healthy of a relationship was it if he stayed around until my child came into my life?

I wouldn't under no circumstance put myself into a situation like that again. I had no time or energy for someone who could up and leave, unable to face or admit to something. It seemed that I had to cut it off here.

"Jasper?" I jumped, meeting blue eyes. Rosalie stood a few feet from me, an empty glass in hand, "You alright?"

I smiled wanly, "Yeah."

She studied me and scoffed, "You're not," She tossed her golden blonde hair over her shoulders and gave me a knowing look, "I know its not my place to say, but you're thinking too hard on it."

"On what?"

"Edward," She said his name softly, but it hit me like an 8 ton truck. The affect he had on me... "Whatever is going on between you two, let it be. Don't overthink it, but try not to be reckless either."

"I can't stop...thinking."

"I know," She nodded, "I couldn't stop thinking either. I set up these obstacles for myself, so sure I could hide behind them," She shrugged, "And what Edward and Alice did...I can't thank them enough." Her eyes focused on something elsewhere, a memory I'm sure before she shook her head with a content smile.

I gestured to her empty cup, "Here to get a drink?"

She nodded, "Yeah and to get away from the boys. I thought Mike was bad..." She laughed.

I took the glass from her hand, "What would you like?"

She looked as if she was going to protest, but thought against it, "Lemonade."

I nodded, opening the fridge to find the full pitcher, "One lemonade coming up." I poured her a glass, keeping the pitcher on the counter. I figured they'll be refills needed outside. Turning around, I caught the glimmer of my reflection on the ground. I cocked my head, realizing I was stepping in a small puddle. I followed it to its source, looking up to catch a look of bewilderment on Rose's face.

"Oh," Her lips were parted as she stared at the puddle with the same perplexity, "I think my water just broke."

**xXx**

I rode with Alice to the hospital. Our car following Emmett's and Carlisle's. We got there, all in a big group as Rosalie was escorted to the maternity ward. There was a murmer of excitement and panic amongst us. Jacob had disappeared with her, but I was unsure why. Alice and Emmett reminded me much of hyper children forced in a silent time out. Emmett's knee jumped up and down with impatience as Alice constantly looked over her shoulder, expecting something. Carlisle, whom had disappeared with a few doctors came back, walking in a calm stride.

"She's just gone in active labor." He spoke more to Emmett and Alice, "They don't want too much of us in the delivery room, but they'll allow two more - " Both Emmett and Alice jumped to their feet, "But she needs you in support, not to cause trouble." And with that he eyed them sternly.

"I got it, dad." Alice said, her voice higher than usual.

"We're calm." Emmett confirmed, but he was nearly jumping on his toes.

With a tired shake of his head, he turned to me, "You okay here for awhile? I called Edward. He should be on his way."

"Don't worry about me." I waved him off, but regretted it when I caught the familiar look on his face, "This moment is about Rose." The words worked for him. I got on my feet, giving Alice and Emmett quick hugs before they took off. I was left in the waiting room by myself. Bella, Mike and Mrs. Newton stayed behind at the house, but not without much protest from Bella. It seemed that under the stress and ordeal of the situation, Carlisle advised her stay behind since it was too close to her delivery date. I wasn't quite sure what that meant. I met no challenges when I offered to come.

Drumming my fingers against the uncomfortable chair, I sat back and listened to the squeak of shoes, rustle of papers, distant baby cries and low hums of televisions. I was nearly falling under a nap when I felt someone sit next to me. Expecting Carlisle, I opened my eyes, about to ask if everything was alright, but I gasped seeing emerald eyes watching me with caution.

"How are you?" He asked, not letting me register how close he was.

"I'm fine, Edward."

"I heard Rose is in labor. Is everyone with her?"

"They are." I confirmed.

"Why aren't you?"

"That's not my place to be." the conversation worked almost in a robotic rhythm, so impersonal.

I met his eyes and bit back another gasp when I saw anger.

"Why didn' you call me?"

"I had to think."

"What about?"

I shrugged, wincing when his eyes narrowed.

"So you're going to treat this with indifference?" He asked weakly, "What's going on, Jasper?"

What I felt was indescribable. There was something so vulnerable about that question, as if he was asking about _us_, not _me._ I wanted so much to answer, but once again our intimate moment was interrupted when Carlisle stepped back into the waiting room.

"Son, you think you can take Jasper home?" I sat up straight in the chair, a bit angry that he would suggest I leave.

"I'm staying here." I said defiantly, "I can wait."

Carlisle watched me carefully, "Only for a few hours, Jasper. This'll be awhile. You should be somewhere where you can lay down and relax."

A fire roared in me, "I'm staying here."

Tired grey eyes stared into my own, pleading, "Jasper, I can't worry about you and Rosalie at the same time." He looked to Edward, asking something with his eyes.

"Jasper, love," Edward coaxed me, "We'll come back later, okay?" I sighed in defeat. I already did enough to upset Carlisle in the last week, the least I could do was respect this wishes.

"Keep us updated?" I asked of him, "_Please_."

"I will." He nodded with a relieved smile.

**xXx**

The electric zap between us was alive and very much powerful. I was having touble keeping my hands in my lap as he drove. Our confrontation brought something to light between us, but still I wasn't sure what. In a matter of minutes, his car was pulling up to my building. He turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt, getting out with me.

"Edward-" I started, not sure it was right to have him come up with me.

"No, Jasper," He cut me off, "I need to know what is going on." We both got out of the car. I fished my jeans for my keys, pulling them out, I unlocked the building's front door, but before I could pull it open, his hands were on mine.

"I can't wait."

"What do you want me to tell you?"

I shuddered when his hands, pushed my hair away from my forehead, a comforting gesture "If I'm what you want."

I shut my eyes, soaking in his words and doing my best not to lose myself there. I didn't know what to say. I wanted him, but I didn't want to admit to that fear, "What does it matter?"

He made a noise, between a scoff and a gasp, "Because I don't want to mess up. I don't want to push you away."

"I'm not going anywhere. I promised I won't," My throat tightened, "That choice is up to you."

"What do you mean?" He asked flatly. When I didn't answer, he pulled his hand away, biting his lip in agitation, "You still think I'll just walk away from you?" He asked, "So you don't want me." he concluded

"I never said that."

"Well, you don't trust me."

"I didn't say that either."

"Then what did you say, Jasper?" He asked, his eyes searched mine fervently, "Because I'm afraid that is all I'm getting from you."

"You won't want the whole package." I admitted, "I don't know what you want, Edward. You seem to care about me and for what reason I'm not sure, but there is no way in hell we could ever be _anything_!

"We can't do this, because if I fall any deeper, I'm afraid I won't be able to crawl my way out and - and I need to be strong for him. I've dealt with not being enough for someone, but I can't handle my child not being enough for you as well. I'm sorry Edward." I took deep breaths, feeling the edges of a panic coming on. Not here, not now. I raked my fingers through my hair, tugging on the strands relentlessly, keeping my eyes trained on the sidewalk. I needed to keep myself together.

He shooed my hand away from my hair, replacing them with his own, fingers massaging into my scalp, "Love," He said gently, catching my gaze with the name, "I need you to understand this. I want _you_, every bit of who you are; the entire package. There's nothing connected to you that I don't want, your child included."

"But I don't want you to feel that you have to be - " I couldn't say the word, I refused to, "I don't want you trapped-"

He shook his head, disagreeing with me, "I want to be what you need me to be. If that means taking care of your child as my own, I don't care." My body burned when his hand pressed against my belly, "_This_ is a part of you. There's no way I won't care about it."

"You're speaking too soon." I argued weakly, "How can you be so sure?"

"You make me sure."

A whimper escaped me and I bowed my head, the crown of my skull meeting his shoulders, "Edward," His fingers continued to deftly massage me before I felt brave enough to look him in the eyes again.

I opened my mouth to say something, but jumped when I felt that stab of pressure again. Edward's eyes widened, before a brilliant smile lit up his face. I didn't know what to say or how to respond. It was like having a third party express their opinion. And before I could doubt if that moment even happened, I felt it again. He was moving in me.

"Oh God, Jasper." Edward's forehead met my own, his breath caressing my cheek. He stroked my belly as we shared the moment together. I tilted my head at an angle, to catch his gaze. There was no trace of disgust or withdrawl. He seemed so into the moment, it nearly frightened me.

Letting go and following every burning want in me, I lifted my hand to stroke his wild hair, before tracing the shell of his ear with my finger, stopping at his jaw. He leaned into my touch, but made no advances.

He was waiting for me.

I watched his lips part as a soft sigh escaped. Even in the night, they were a rosey red. I leaned towards them, testing my kiss above the flesh. He cupped the nape of my neck in encouragement. I traced his lips with my own before pressing again, getting an eager response from him. I didn't expect the untamed primal want for him or the need to feel him everywhere on me. It was meant to be a simple kiss, a seal of our relationship, but feeling my own tongue dance against his, nerves tingling to life, it appeared to be much more than simple and more powerful than anything I've felt before.

_ **xX**_**x**

** AN: And that's just the start my friends. I'll try to keep up with the chapter updates and not let them get too far in between. But I'm also trying to finish up and post all my imcomplete oneshots and my imcomplete chapter works. I'm hoping this summer, I can catch up with everything.**

**And seeing how you love Em and Jake, I already have an outtake for them set up after this fic is finished, but that's WAY down the road.**


	15. Twenty Two Weeks Part 1

**Author's Notes: **Alright, I am back with another chapter! Thanks so much for your reviews for the last chapter! They are always lovely to read. Happy to get back to this story. As you can see, two weeks will pass in this chapter, but this will be a two parter. I hope you guys don't mind the jump in time and the lack of information between the two lovers. Trust me, there will be enough stories in the future. Now on to the story.

Characters not owned by I.

**xXx**

**Chapter Fifteen: 22 Weeks I**

We got the call from Carlisle right after I had succombed to a nap, falling against Edward's shoulder while watching The Food Network.

"Love," Edward shifted, fully pulling me out of whatever fuzzy dream I was having, "My dad says that Rose just delivered." I snapped up at his words.

"Can we go?" I asked, my throat hoarse and dry from sleep. It was an anti-climatic night. Kissing him had shifted and created a new relationship between us, I was sure of that, but I wasn't expecting to curl up in front of the TV and pass out.

It didn't seem to bother him at all, "Hmm," He hummed in thought, leaning over to peck my forehead, "I don't know, love. You conked out pretty fast." I couldn't help the instant reaction I felt when his lips touched me. My heart hammered in my chest and my limbs suddenly seem to buzz with an electrical current.

Edward cocked his head, giving me an odd look, "Jasper?" His fingers trailed across my hairline, only stopping to tug on my hair gently, "You alright?" Catching the restrain in his expression, I sighed. He pulled his hand away immediately and my stomach dropped. I was sending the wrong signals apparently.

"Edward," I sat up so I could be at eye level with him, "I don't regret anything," I wanted to touch him and once again, I couldn't help myself. Giving in to my impulse, I took his hand in mine, "I'm just scared." That seemed to do the trick. His head snapped up and he looked over at me, fear in his eyes.

"Is it me? Is it something I did, Jazz?" His eyes searched mine fervantly. I was making this worse.

"Edward," I tried again, squeezing his hand in case he pulled away, "I trust you, but it's still a reflexive response to assume that you'd - " My voice caught in my throat.

"Get tired of you; leave." He finished flatly. He rotated his hand under my own and held onto me, tugging lightly, "Come here, love." I scooted closer to him, our knees and thighs touching. The contact was overstimulating. I held my breath, waiting for his next move. He leaned in, his hand raking my hair away from my forehead before giving me a chaste kiss on the lips, "You've wiggled your way in and no one - including myself - can or want to get rid of you. It's a life sentence you're going to have to live with." He smirked. How surreal was this night. I couldn't fight the smile that crossed my face.

"I'm sure I can live with that." I joked, allowing my head to rest on his shoulder again. The comfort and warmth of his body felt so safe.

"We can see Rose tomorrow." He suggested, "If you're tired..."

He was attempting to keep me inside, but I needed to be there, "I'm fine. If it makes you feel better though, we'll be in and out." He gave in, sighing in defeat.

"Alright, love. But the moment your eyes droop, I'll have you in my car so fast, your head will spin," He winked, "You got me, Jazz?"

I nodded against the crook of his neck, "Yes sir."

**xXx**

_I lost track of time after we arrived home. It was a long day and after the surgery, I wasn't sure I could even stand. James had grown frustrated over the last few months, trying to squeeze us in for the operation as soon as possible. The scientists had remarked that everything was ready, but needed confirmation of our union and make sure _my_ physical health was up to par. He pushed with money, as he had been doing the last year or so._

_ When I had finally had come awake, he was out of the house, a note on the nightstand letting me know he had met with a few business friends for lunch and he'd be home in time for dinner. I checked the time and date on the clock radio and wasn't surprised to see a full day had passed since I hit the bed. Well, I couldn't expect him to wait for me to wake up. He still had a life. _

_ With much work and tremendous pain from the still new and raw stitches in my stomach, I took about 15 minutes hobbling upstairs. I knew I'd have little time on my feet and he'd be expecting a meal if he was going to be home before 6. I settled for a quick, but efficient meal, finishing up just as I heard the door open and shut. _

_ "Honey?" He called from the front door._

_ "I'm in the kitchen." I replied, closing the oven door. _

_ "Jasper, baby, you're not cooking, are you?" I could hear his feet pattering up the stairs before he crossed the living room. His tall form leaned against the kitchen frame as he took in the sight of the tuna salad wrap on the plates, "Jasper," He shook his head._

_ "I thought you wanted dinner." I shrugged._

_ He shook his head, before stepping in close to me. I grimaced, hoping he wasn't angry. It had been a pretty heavy 6 months. He was becoming fed up that he couldn't find a home in the neighborhood. The apartment was too small compared to what he was used to. He wanted us in a house in under a few weeks and already it had been a year._

_ "I was going to order take-out." He sounded so tired. Work and our personal life was getting to him._

_ "Go kick back and watch the evening news," I smiled, knowing I could make it all right, "I'll bring you the food."_

_ He smiled back warmly, "Alright."_

_ He looked peaceful and happy and something in my melted, "I love you." _

_ He cocked his head, "You take such good care of me."_

_ I nodded, used to the answer, but it hurt just as much nonetheless. I heard the low voices of the news reporters, alerting me that he had left me alone. _

_ I took my time to move carefully so I wouldn't bust the stitches before picking up the plates, walking back to the living room where he waited._

**xXx**

The dream flitted to the surface, occupying my mind for the entire car ride. It seemed to come from nowhere. Had I really dreamed about some of my last moments with James? Edward and I met Carlisle just outside the hallway where Rosalie delivered her baby. He stood before us, relaxed but tired.

"Rose and the baby are healthy. I called Esme. She'll be here within the hour," His palms dug into his eye, "I'm a bit surprised Rose didn't kick Em and Alice out. They were...a handful." He added with a small smile.

"Can we see them?" I asked quickly. Carlisle gave me a short nod. He exchanged a few words with Edward before saying his goodbyes. Down the hallway, I could hear a loud whoop and Rose's voice telling Emmett to shut up. We followed the voices until we came upon what I could only describe as a family potrait. Alice sat next to Rose's bed, a bundle of blankets in her hand, both Jacob and Emmett standing extremely close making odd cooing sounds.

"This is a first," Edward spoke from behind me, "Two moms and two dads. The name Hope is fitting, because the child will need some in the future You're going to drive her crazy." He joked.

"Suck my thick, hard rod." Emmett cooed in a baby voice, fingering the new born in the blankets.

Rose, hair flat, but face glowing, smiled warmly, "I think it'll be me that'll need a bit of hope to live through the next few years." She gestured towards the trio.

Alice's head popped up, catching the joke, "Rose!" She pouted, "It wasn't me that was running around the damn room like a damn headless chicken." She scoffed.

I could only imagine who was.

"Congratulations, Rose." I walked over to the other side of her bed, "Judging by the way these three are hovering over her, she must be beautiful."

"She is." Jacob confirmed, now standing at full height, "Now can I hold her? She is my daughter afterall." He said to Alice who gingerly offered the bundle to him.

Me and Edward exchanged a look of confusion. Clearly there was something we were missing. Emmett caught the looks and smiled broadly.

"That's right!" He beamed, "My baby's a daddy!"

It didn't clear anything up for either of us, "What?" Edward and I said in unison.

Jacob took the time to clear our question, "This last week Rose, Em and I had a long, heavy discussion about her being a single mother," He bounced lightly on his feet, hushing the small whimpers that were coming from the blanket, "So we came to a conclusion."

"I won't go that far," Rosalie cut in, "I've never been to the doctor prior to getting the ultrasound a few months ago. Alice came with me from then on, so the doctors assumed I had a donor."

"You did." Emmett growled lowly. It was my first time not seeing a dimpled smile on his face.

"Jacob thought it would be perfect to say he was the father. It would work, considering he is related to Hope. And if anything was to happen to me..." She smiled sadly.

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Rose," Jacob corrected, handing her the baby, who by now remained remarkably silent, "It was kind of a way to put a leash on you. No more disappearing acts. We're family."

Edward looked as surprised as I felt, "So, you're telling me that I..." He didn't finish.

"Yeah," Alice smirked, "You're kind of right. You're an uncle!" She giggled.

"Hope has two mommies and daddies." I couldn't help the wide smile on my face, "She'll be an interesting little girl." I imagined her daddy Emmett showing her her first gay porno at the age of 16 and bit back a laugh.

What a surreal day.

**xXx**

The following week passed by in a blur. Bella was thrown another shower at the Cullen's residents that weekend with a surprise visit from Tanya and Victoria. The relationship between Rosalie and the boys had changed significantly as well. What they agreed to was that through title, Jacob was the father, but in no way did he need to be with Hope for a required amount of time. Not that that mattered to either men. In just 7 days, they spent ridiculous money and time with the newborn to Rosalie and Alice's dismay.

Edward took to coming over daily, just for a few hours for lunch or dinner. He even - to my surprise - came Tuesday morning to pick me up and take me to my A.I.S appointment. It was hard to swallow the idea, but I owed him so much. And considering the fact that his father had before him, it was only right to let him in to this side of my world, even if it was for him to come to the conclusion that this part of my life wasn't for him. An anxiety bubbled at the thought, but it was near non-existant when he walked me in the building, wrapped an arm around my waist and asked if I needed him in the room with me.

My usual female examiner, Dr. Denali came in only moments after I. She gave me a curious look, but continued to on with our appointment as usual. Towards the end of the check-up, she brought up something I never thought I'd hear from her.

"Your doctor," She started, "He had me thinking..."

"What?" I sat up straighter on the couch, waiting for her to finish adjusting her clipboard.

"You know Jasper, you're under my eye and I report your health to the scientists that take care of your working Artificial Organs," She started, straightening her glasses, "And I'm considering that with your doctor checking up on you as thoroughly as me, I could dismiss your appointments until your 8th month. I'm even considering taking you off the medication. There has been some recent tests. It seems the hormones and medication we give you in your first trimester are enough to hold you for a few months. And seeing how you're halfway through carrying, it's possible that you could cease next week." She added with a small smile.

"Really?" I was near blind in excitement. The exhaustion and mood swings could end sooner rather than later.

"Yes." She beamed, "That's not to say that your last trimester won't leave you with a high libido. Other than that, you'll be your regular self." The news seemed to be good for her a well.

"That'll be great." I smiled.

"Okay," she finalized, "I'll look over your recent history, make sure you're good enough to go. I'll let you know next week if you're fine without taking the medication."

**xXx**

Edward was the first to hear the news, but Carlisle was ideal to inform. By our next appointment the following week, Carlisle made sure to ask me questions from what I ate to if I had any bizarre sleeping patterns. It crossed my mind to mention the recent dreams and thoughts about my mother and James. They had been surfacing in my mind for the recent weeks, but I figured it was a response to just how closer Edward and I had become over the last 14 days.

Edward, still on extended vacation, spent nearly everyday with me if he wasn't with Bella or at the Cullens. Our time together had become more of a schedule to fall in, rather than anything particularly special. Some nights he offered to cook, others he took me out to the beach. By Monday night, he was quite comfortable coming and going as he pleased. My home had become his second and as much as that touched me, I still felt like there were bits of him unopened and unexplored. My home, with its tough history, was my sanctuary - I hadn't seen his yet.

There wasn't much I could say to him. He was gentle, patient and kind to me. Yet, I was beginning to feel that the focused energy on myself was a way of moving the attention away from him.

On Monday, Emmett, Jacob, Rose and Hope had spent most of the afternoon and evening over at my apartment. It was Edward's last ditch effort to get the boys away from the baby, but instead it ended up with all of them coming over. We had a late lunch and a few rounds of Jenga before Hope finally made her voice heard to everyone in the house. She was still much of a mystery to me. I kept away from her the entire night, unsure if I was allowed to touch or hold her. She was so small and fragile, her voice so high that even though I was fairly smaller than Jacob and Emmett, I still felt that I could break or scare her.

By sundown, everyone was out of the door. It was only Edward and I left. As a parting farewell, Emmett was sure to say, "Please, Edward baby, tell me you're staying behind to fuck him." Not Emmett or anyone else had any idea that nearly two weeks before, we had exchanged in our first kiss. I wasn't sure why we were keeping that part of our relationship to ourselves. I thought perhaps that Edward didn't think I was ready, but what invaded my mind more was the idea that maybe he wasn't.

"Jazz, love." Edward called, bringing me out of my thoughts, "You've been off all day. Are you tired?"

"Yeah." I answered flatly. I was letting my thoughts have an affect on my behavior. After all this time of keeping walls around me, it was hard to hide from him when he so easily knocked half of them over.

"Jasper," He crossed the space in the living room, bypassing the knocked over Jenga blocks on the floor, "I can tell when you pull away. I can damn there see that you're overthinking about something. I can't help if you don't tell me." He sat next to me on the sectional. Like usual, his fingers played with the wavy strands of my hair. It was a tactic he used to soothed me - it always worked.

There was a troubling maelstorm in my gut. I was suddenly sure of what was going on in my mind - I was comparing James to Edward. These flashbacks, trips to those hidden, intimate moments. Being with Edward the last few weeks were comfortable and I enjoyed them. There was no effort on my part to make things right - they just were. Yet, I felt the change between us. I liked him and I couldn't help the _need_ I felt for him when he wasn't around. When he kissed me, it was full of his affection. I never felt anything like that before.

"I know now that James never loved me." It came out before I knew what I was going to say.

"Why do you say that?" The look in his eyes were unreadable.

"Because I never felt what I do with you," at that, his eyes widened, "I'm not saying you love me. I know you don't, but you care about me and that's one thing more than he ever did."

His shimmering emerald eyes softened, "Love-"

"I've been having these dreams," I started, "they are about him - moments and glipses of my history. I don't miss it. And I don't miss him." It felt good saying the words, even if they stung around the edges.

"You never told me." He whispered. It was usual of Edward to stay late, but he hadn't slept over since my breakdown. He hadn't seen me in the mornings, the few minutes after I woke up, staring at the ceiling, pondering if the choice James made was for the better. If I was really better off alone. Recalling my past, was like rewatching a movie with better vision - so many aspects of my relationship with James came into focus.

"I'm just figuring this out now." I shrugged, "He held back so many things from me. It was as if I was a small part of his life and I couldn't know anything much outside of it." I felt the trembling start in my shoulders. This was why Edward's restraint bothered me. If he didn't let me in...

"Jasper, I'm waiting for you," He pleaded, "If you need anything from me, you can take it. I'm not holding anything back."

"I'm not telling you this,Edward because I'm asking you to open up."

"I know," He cupped my cheek, directing my line of gaze to his, "You're telling me this because it hurts you," His eyes searched mine, reading that he was right, "Tell me, baby."

**xXx**

It took a lot of effort on his part, but after a long conversation Edward offered one large step at overcoming my fears. After my appointment with the A.I.S office, we were going to have dinner at my place, then pack an overnight bag for me to sleep over at his house. It was his way of letting me in and making me comfortable with him. I knew it was going to be a tough night, but this was an effort on both of our parts. I needed to trust him fully and view another aspect of his life, an intimate one. I couldn't exactly say what we were, but I was well aware that to be closer to him would make things stronger for us. I was scared, but overly determined to prove to myself that Edward was different. Edward also voiced his own concerns, that being him wanting to be with me in the A.I.S office. He was curious and from what I could make out, a bit protective as to what was being done to me.

"I'll keep quiet, I promise." He pleaded. There was no room for me to decline his offer, not after what he promised for me, so Tuesday morning, he drove me to the office and after I signed in and walked me into the check-up room. I read the look on his face, trying to decipher if he was impressed or put-off.

"This looks less like a doctor's office and more like a study." He commented, nodding his head to the leather couch and the desk.

"Well, a lot of the check-up is her asking questions about my health and what I've been eating. It's similar to your dad's check-ups."

Edward frowned, digging his hands into his jeans, bunching up the thin shirt he had thrown on that morning before driving over to pick me up, "I thought that they were a little more thorough. Hearing my dad speak about them..." He shrugged.

"They are, every once in a awhile," I informed, "Most of the time, they are checking up on me. If something's wrong with me, there's something wrong with him, you know?" I said recklessly, not realizing my slip.

Edward's eyes widened, "_Him?_"

I didn't have time to answer. My doctor walked in, no clipboard in hand. I took that as a good sign. Her eyes widened at the sight of Edward, before flickering to me.

"Sorry for my unexpected company," Edward's hand was out to shake hers, "I'm Edward Cullen." She shook it with a moment's hesitation before looking to me.

"Related to Dr. Cullen?" She asked the both of us.

Edward frowned, "Y-yeah. You've met, I take it."

Dr. Denali gave him an apologetic smile. Another slip on my part. Edward still had no idea that Carlisle accompanied me to my check-up and ultrasound, "Edward," I spoke up, taking his hand in my own, "Carlisle wanted to personally see what my appointments were like. I didn't want anyone else to know. Please don't be upset with him." It was too much to ask him to not be upset with my choice not to tell him. It was hypocritical enough that he was to find out this way, right after I voiced my fears of him hiding from me.

His eyes met mine. There wasn't a trace of betrayal or anger, "I'm not, love," He assured me before speaking with my doctor, "He's my father."

My doctor gave him a warm smile, "It's because of him, I'm taking this step." She walked over to the desk, leaning her weight against it, "What I'm about to do here is not normal procedure. Dr. Carlisle made it clear to me that you do have enough medical and emotional support ," She nodded her head towards Edward, "Jasper, my decision right now is not supported by my superiors and quite frankly can get me in trouble. You're not my first patient and your problems are common. I'm looking after your health and welfare. You can stop the medication, go on as you were with Expecting Care. I will need you back here on your 32nd week."

The information was all too much to digest. I didn't know what to ask first. She wasn't allowed to do this, so that must of meant that she knew that whatever procedures she use to abide by would have been made for me as well as other's before me.

"Are you sure he'll be fine?" I asked, speaking of my child.

Dr. Denali stood at her full height, suddenly serious, "Jasper, Dr. Cullen, is a small percentage of a big organization of Doctors who've been putting tremendous money and time into the study of the human body after Artificial Pregnancies. Only until a few weeks ago, did the A.I.S finally give in to the requests to re-presribe their medication," She frowned, "But they hadn't."

Edward took in a sharp breath at my side. Focusing my attention on him, I could clearly see that he was bothered by her news. His jaw was clenched and his hands were balled into fists at his side.

I was beginning to realize that this had as much to do with me as it did with him "Edward?"

He seemed to come to his senses, "I'll need a second outside," His voice was raw and strained. My chest panged in a dull ache, seeing the look of masked anguish on his face.

"What's wrong?"

He lifted my hands to his lips, pecking my skin, before giving me a wan smile, "I'm fine, love. I'll just be a second." He didn't wait for my response. He slipped out of the room, leaving me and the doctor to work out what just happened.

"The Cullen family seem to take business with the A.I.S personally." My doctor whispered softly.

Of course. I sighed, thinking of Alec. That's why Carlisle and Edward came here in the first place. It was a boy from nearly a decade ago, "They have history."

"They don't need to." My doctor smiled, "They care about you." I frowned, a bit surprised to hear her say such a thing, "Jasper, James left, didn't he?"

I stared back at her, a bit perplexed at her bringing him up, "He's..." I answered feebly.

" I'm reporting to no one. I'm risking my job right now, so you don't have to hide whatever happened between you two." She, as well as I, were well aware of the strict guidelines the A.I.S had us follow. A single, pregnant patient had to be reported and that could easily lead to me losing my child. I no longer had the financial support of James and I was miles away from family. Through the eyes of the system, I was completely alone.

"He left me when I was a month." My hand rubbed absently at my belly. The baby had been quite active the last few weeks. There were many moments of me yelling out at the intense pressure. Whatever he was doing in there, stopped everything I was doing outside. With the affection growing for my child, the idea of James leaving made me more angry than ever before. He no longer left me, but _us._

"That's never easy," She comforted, "and in this situation, it can even be terrifying. But it makes it even more wonderful that you found Edward."

**xXx**

I met Edward outside the office door. He looked more composed and relaxed, "I'm sorry that I left without saying anything," He closed the distance between us, surprising me with a hungry kiss, "I won't do that again."

"It's okay," I spoke against his lips, "I should have said something to you earlier. I forgot about your past with this."

He shook his head in disagreement, "It wasn't my history that I couldn't handle," He sighed.

"What do you mean?"

The tips of his fingers grazed my cheek, "The thought of them hurting you..." I didn't expect that at all, but it felt good hearing those words.

The drive home was enough time for me to fill him in on Carlisle's surprise offer to take me to the A.I.S. It hurt, telling him that his father was there for the ultra sound, the first and only to know I was expecting a boy. I shyly admitted that a piece of me wished he was there. It surprised me just how understanding he was. I couldn't comprehend his patience and willingness to accept my mistakes. I wanted so much to make it up to him.

Once we were back at my apartment, I nearly raced him to the kitchen in efforts to cook. He had treated me like a guest in my own house and it was about time I paid him back.

"Love," Edward whined when I slapped his head off the handle of the fridge door, "Let me cook."

"I'm cooking," I said, leaving no room for argument. He pouted his red lips, before trying to get some spices from the pantry.

"Cullen," I growled playfully, getting a cackle from him.

"Can I be Jasper's little helper?" He asked knowing I'd give in. I narrowed my eyes at him, catching on to his foul play but agreed to it, getting a wicked Emmett-like grin in response. He leaned across the small space in the kitchen, giving me a cartoonish smack on the cheek. The affection from him was still alarmingly new and exhilerating. Moments like this, felt so good and right.

"Where do I start, baby?" He cooed.

"The onions." I said over my shoulder, as I pulled out the cutting board for him, "I'll start chopping the bell peppers."

"What about the chicken breasts?"

"I have them thawing out in the fridge," I answered. I frowned, realizing that I was without a knife to chop up the vegetables. With a grumble to myself, I turned to Edward, who was closer to the drawer with the cooking instruments, "Sug, can you get me a knife?" It came out so effortlessly, that it took a second for me to realize what I said.

There was a dead silence.

I froze, hoping Edward wouldn't react negatively to the name. I heard it hundreds of times before and only from my mother's lips. Why now was I using it with Edward? Did that mean something?

"Sug?" He questioned from behind me. When I didn't respond, he turned me to face him, "As in sugar, love?" The smile on his face could only be matched with the one he wore the night he felt the baby kick against his hand. As if he knew what I was thinking, he rested his hands on my swollen belly, leaning in to give me a heartfelt kiss.

"Yes." I answered sheepishly, getting a crooked smirk from him.

"I like it," He teased, "Very southern." His lips pecked along my cheek before lowering to the crook of my neck. I gasped at the feeling of his teeth nipping my skin before his tongue darted out to play, "You make delicious noises, love." He whispered in my ear.

I couldn't fight the low moan in my throat, "Edward," I whimpered, "Dinner." I tried to get us back on task.

"Mmm hmm," He hummed against my skin, kissing my exposed flesh. Before I could attempt something else to get us back to cooking, my home phone rang. Edward groaned pulling away from me with a pout.

"It could be Emmett," He was almost as religious as Bella with calling the house, mainly because he knew Edward was keeping me company and wanted 'The skinny on the bump n' grind' as he stated many times.

"I'll get it then," He mumbled, walking to the doorway of the kitchen where the phone hung on the wall.

"Hello?" His melodic voice said into the phone. I walked over to the exposed drawer, pulling out the knife, "Careful with that, love." He said to me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not a child, I know how to handle sharp objects." I shook my head, chopping the bell pepper, waiting for him to speak to whomever was on the other line.

"Hello?" He asked again, "Hmm." He hung up the phone.

"Who was it?"

"I don't know," I felt him walk behind me to the other side of the counter, "I heard the person breathing in the background..."

"Bad signal?" I offered.

"Perhaps," I felt his chest press against my back, "Let's get dinner ready, love. I want to take you home."

**xXx**

**AN: Hope this chapter satisfied. Put some more foreshadowing in there. Preparing for the next chapter! Tell me what you think!**


	16. Twenty Two Weeks Part 2

**Author's Notes**: I was pleasantly surprised with the reviews I recieved. You guys are awesome. And I couldn't believe how nearly EVERYONE reponded with a heated yell of "JAMES!" This chapter was pretty tough to write, considering I incorporated quite a bit to finish this two parter chapter. Thanks to all of you who responded to the last chapter. I had nearly double the reviews than for my others. That's a lot of love for the guys (or hate for James) Thanks so much for giving me your two cents! I enjoy it.

And a side note about those who asked about Rose and Alice – Not even those outside the duo know what's going on between them, so Jasper has yet to find out (but as you can see, he's not all that curious about it as we are!) The relationship (or lack therof) will be addressed in a later chapter.

Now onto the story!

**Characters Not Owned By Me**

**xXx**

**Chapter Sixteen: 22 Weeks II**

_"I found the perfect house, honey." I didn't hear him come in. Not after the deep reverie I was in. I had just come from the A.I.S office - my first trip without him. I was lost in the moment, staring at myself in the dresser mirror, trying to picture myself in a few months time. I felt his arms around my waist, like lead on my hips. With the news I had, I expected my heart to expand with the contact. _

_ His lips peppered my neck, "It's right down the street from the school, with a beautiful front yard and the architecture..." He smiled into my skin._

_ We stood in front of the mirror. He swayed us slightly, apparently enjoying the silence. But I couldn't keep quiet. _

_ "I'm pregnant." I said to dead air. _

_ "Hm," He hummed, pulling away, but I know he had heard me, "I tried contacting the owner of the house, but he appears to be as busy as me. He's way too young to own a house like that - and alone." His lips grazed my cheek, "A house like that is meant for a family like us." _

**xXx**

The drive was under a minute. Edward literally lived right down the street from the apartment. The house, one I nevered remembered seeing, was elevated behind a high, slanted lawn. Instead of parking on the wide driveway, Edward pressed the button fastened on his sun-blocker and the white wall before us rose.

"You know, you can save money by walking over." I teased as we pulled in a rather clean garage.

"The last few times, I did, considering we stayed in and I didn't have to take you out." I hadn't noticed at all. He shut off the engine, unlocking the door and popping the trunk open at the same time. We both got out and he walked behind the car to get my bag. I followed him, giving him a hard look. He knew well enough I could carry a sack of clothes. "Come on, gorgeous, let me show you my home."

Taking my hand in his, he guided me pass the car and to the door leading into the house. The first room to greet me, was a kitchen. It was fairly large with shiny blank counters and a large kitchen island. I noted the complex coffee pot, sleek blender and toaster on one counter. The rest of the kitchen was pretty much vacant of anything else.

"This is where I occasionally cook and more commonly, throw leftovers in the fridge." He said, looking a bit bashful at the last words.

"You cook?" I asked with raised eyebrows, teasing him.

"Nothing too extravagent," He shrugged, "But I make a mean Cream of Wheat," He winked, "So don't be surprised if that is what you see for breakfast tomorrow morning."

I felt stupid when a rather wide grin was planted on my face, "You're cooking me breakfast?"

"Of course." He shrugged. He placed my bag on a stool under the kitchen island, "Let's finish the tour."

The kitchen opened up to a nice - visually untouched - dining area and through a rounded arch, we entered the living room. There were more signs of life there; a pure white sofa with rose red pillows and a matching ottoman, with a crystal clear coffee table and a medium sized plasma television hanging on the wall. Across the room was a high glass wall exposing the green front lawn. The window took up both floors of the house, allowing for the first floor to have a high ceiling. As if reading my mind, Edward spoke, "The light that comes in at dawn is breathtaking. Sometimes I play in the loft just around 4 AM, just to enjoy it."

"The loft?" I frowned. He pointed up and I followed his gaze. Just over the living room I could see the pure white banister, but not much else.

"We'll get to it, love." He said sweetly, "But first, let me show you the bottom floor rooms."

Just behind the stairwell was a hidden hallway that surprisingly opened up to a double doored room at the end, but he steered me away, showing me the guest bedroom with a bathroom conveniently attached.

"Do you have guests often?" I was curious as to what type of family came over to visit when pretty much all the Cullens resided within 10 miles of him.

His eyes widened before a frown settled on his beautiful face, "Mostly acquaintances who live outside the valley and stay over later than they planned." He said softly, "No one else." I was surprised to see him pout.

"Did I say something wrong, Edward?" He shook his head and made to walk towards the door opposite the guest room. I tugged on his shirt, keeping him in his place.

"Sug, please tell me." I pressed, hoping the nickname would loosen his restraint a bit. I was glad to see a flicker of affection in his eyes.

"I thought you were implying that I invited men over to..." His voice trailed off. He didn't need to finish.

I felt myself frown. I would have never been so bold as to make a statement like that, "Oh." I replied, feeling a bit put-off that he'd assume such a thing, "Edward, why would you think I'd say that?"

He raked a hand through his dark, red hair, biting his lip, "_Fuck_, Jazz, I'm sorry," He cursed again under his breath, "Being around Emmett really screws with my social skills. I read into the words inappropriately and I was-" He groaned.

"Tell me," I pleaded.

"It hurt thinking you would assume that." He finished, avoiding eye contact.

My heart contracted tightly in my chest, "I didn't mean it that way at all." I said softly, "But Edward, there's nothing wrong if you ever decide to-" And I found myself unable to finish.

"Jasper, it's not going to happen." He said with such convinction, I felt my legs buckle. His eyes were leveled with my own. The tips of his fingers played with my curling hair at the tips of my chin before he took a deep breath, "Would you like to continue the tour?"

Still trying to digest his words, all I could let out was a breathless, "Yes."

On the opposite wall, a door was slightly ajar. Edward pressed his palms against it, allowing me to see the wall of books.

"It's my study and library." He said from over my shoulder, "My dad always used to make fun of me, claiming that I couldn't bring a library book back because I got so attached to it. He had to cave and grant me shelf room in his study back at the house." He finished fondly. We didn't have to walk in - not yet at least. I was curious to see what interested Edward. It would have been very much like jumping into his mind, but I needed to save the moment for when he was busy.

Finally, he escorted me to the double doors, stepping in front of me, pressing his back to the light wood, "This room is where I spend most of my time. It's my second workspace." He began, twisting the doorknob behind him. I was nearly bouncing with anticipation.

Edward was going to let me into the world of his work.

He pressed his back against the door, allowing me space to walk in the room. I stepped in and was floored by the space and equipment. There were instruments, a three screened computer, gadgets and odd keyboards. I couldn't make out much of what I was seeing, but by the tossed about papers, worn leather office chair and empty water bottles, I knew that this was indeed a space he spent a lot time in.

In the corner of the room was an older studio piano. The slightly scarred body and darker keys gave it an air of having a rich history. I walked over to it, letting my fingers caress the keys, without pressing down to produce any type of noise. I felt Edward close behind me.

"I use it to test out any type of melodies that come to mind." He spoke softly, "This piano was the reason I moved in the house. I had no desire to live in El Segundo, but Alice was adament about me moving back to L.A. She hated the drive to Palmdale.

"This was the third house I looked at. It belonged to a pretty big family. Two parents and about four kids and a grandmother." He walked in line of my view, his eyes on the piano, "The grandmother was an music teacher. When she died, her son was heartbroken and packed the family up and left the house - this piano as well." He caressed the wood, smiling warmly at the instrument, "This piano made me stay." He murmered. For a moment, I was sure he forgotten I was in the room.

"Something so special tossed and forgotten just because it hurt to bear looking at it..." I commented. Something about those words stung more than it should have and I wasn't certain why, "Good thing you came along."

Edward's smile was directed at me, "I think it was here waiting for me." He joked, standing at his full height. He showed me his acoustic and electric guitar and some other instruments he had in the room. Time was lost as he went over how he usually worked. His green eyes were wide in passion as he showed me how he put together a melody on the computer. All of it was so overwhelming and technical, but he enjoyed it so much, I couldn't help but show interest.

We finally exited the room, walking down the hallway, before turning out to the stairwell.

"What else is left?" I asked in a flirtatious tone, surprising myself. I was shocked at my comfort. Hadn't he assumed I was implying something inappropriate not an hour ago? And now I _actually_ was. I gasped, looking away from him.

He surprised me with a gentle chuckle, "If you're asking about my bedroom, it's upstairs, love." He said gently, tucking his fingers underneath my chin, "Afterall, you'll be sleeping there tonight." My skin burned with embarassment and desire. I couldn't contain how much I wanted that.

We walked up the flight of stairs that opened up to the loft where a bigger piano was.

"The first thing I bought with my first real job." He commmentated, "Emmett doesn't let me forget it. He thinks it's absurd I didn't buy a car." Straight from the stairwell was a shorter hallway with another spare room - that Edward said he kept much of his other work -and his bedroom. It was behind another set of double doors - these leading to a more extravagent space that held a massive California King sized canopy and a long, glass wall, showing the view of the patio and backyard. There was the normal nightstand and dresser, but to my surprise, Edward actually had a walk-in closet that was stocked well with clothes. When I gave him the eye, he grumbled, "You forget my sister has a career in shopping for people."

Just like the archway leading to the living room downstairs, another lead to his bathroom. I walked in and let out a moan envy. There was no simple bathtub, but a massive bowl that could easily fit two people and if that wasn't enough, on the other side of the room, a pretty, wide and deep shower stall. It was unlike any I had ever seen. The usual tile in the wall and ground was replaced by a brilliant green type of stone that mirrored the shade of Edward's eyes. Embedded in the stall walls were metal squares with round holes in them. Was that where the water came out of? I noted that they were on the ceiling as well as the sides of the enclosed space. And nestled away from the shower heads was a silver panel.

"Alice again," Edward complained, "The family who left this house had a simple shower and tub," He glanced longingly at the shower, "Alice thought it wasn't enough. As a birthday present, she had the bathroom remodeled and completed it with the Kohler shower. She stated that 'What better way to enjoy my music than in a shower?'"

"Music?" I querried.

"That device right there can control the pressure of the water. It plays music as well." Quite impressive.

"It's okay to admit you like it." I teased, noticing how his eyes glazed over when he stared at the shower heads.

His cheeks flushed and he shook his head, "It's great for relaxation is all."

I nodded, "I can see that."

"You're welcome to try it out tonight." He offered. I suddenly felt another implied meaning, but I was sure it was just me that caught it. Edward was already walking back into his bedroom, "Our tour ends in the backyard, love. Care to go for a swim?"

**xXx**

By 9, I was comfortably in my loose t-shirt and pajama bottoms, waiting patiently for Edward to finish washing up downstairs. The evening was spent trying to balance myself and my new abdominal weight in water. Edward had offered me his spare swim shorts and brought out two fluffy towels and the tour was completed with a relaxing summer night outside swimming. When the hours passed and I began feeling the drowsy dizziness, Edward knowingly suggested us preparing for bed. He offered me his bedroom shower.

It was difficult to work out at first, but after adjusting the shower heads and playing the music Edward had left off from, I was able to rinse the chlorine off successfully. The sensation of warm water from every direction and angle was much like standing in the middle of a mansoon without the noise or flashing lights accompanied, just the steady pattering of water on flat stone.

Edward had moved my bag onto to his bed before washing up himself, so I didn't have to go far to get dressed. When done freshening up, I waited on his bed, taking in the space around me. I had caught the eliptical machine facing out to the patio at the other end of the room, but taking a second glance, I could make out the big, red ball and rolled up palates mat. It was nice to see that Edward made up for eating out by staying in shape. Just off the side of the double doors was a lounging couch, very much like the one in Dr. Denali's office. Beside it were a stack of books. Hopping off the high mattress, I padded over to them, kneeling as low as I could in my physical limitations in order to catch the titles.

_The New God: A.I.S and their Toubled History_

_ All You Need To Know About Expecting the Expected: Know Hows on Pregnancy_

_ The Science of Artifical Pregnancy_

I blinked in amazement.

I wasn't sure what to think. Was he interested in the topic because of his history or because we had grown closer over the last few weeks?

I jumped, hearing the quick steps of his feet as he drew close to the room, pacing back to his bed, I made as if I was coming back from his bathroom as the door opened. Edward stood before me in just pajama bottoms, revealing milky skin toned and shaped by muscle. He looked so different, bare with flattened, wet hair. I couldn't help but enjoy the view. Something about the way he stood in his room, shutting the bedroom door before turning to me, it seemed so intimate. Almost as if we did this everynight.

"How was the shower?" He asked with a knowing smirk, walking over towards the bed.

"Uh, rainy." I stammered, feeling foolish for being unable to piece together a proper answer.

He snickered like a child, "Rainy?"

I shook my head, trying to focus on his question, rather than the thin fabric of his bottoms, "The water everywhere - and the music." I didn't sound any better.

"I understand." He bent over, pulling the comforter and sheet down. Watching his back muscles jump at his movements, had me feeling an odd sensation in my gut.

It wasn't the baby.

"You must be tired," He patted the bed, "Come. I want to tuck you in." It didn't sound like a bad idea. He moved aside, allowing me space to climb in. I did, lifting my legs slightly so he could pull the blankets from under my thighs. When I was comfortably nestled under the blankets, feeling his fingers tuck the ends under my side, Edward leaned in to peck my forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Jasper." He whispered, pecking the tip of my nose, "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes." I answered honestly, "Thank you." He smiled at my appreciation.

"It's my pleasure, love," He silently watched me, appearing to be deep in thought.

"You're holding back again, aren't you?" I asked, recognizing the look.

"Is it alright if I slept here tonight?" He asked tentatviely. It threw me off, considering that I was expecting him with me throughout the whole night.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I teased. He smiled, rolling his eyes.

"I want you comfortable." My skin tingled where he deftly massaged. He was at the edge of the mattress, leaning his upper body towards me. He pecked my lips chastely, before pulling back.

"You're the one that noticed I tossed and turned when you weren't sleeping next to me." I pointed out, "Shouldn't that be an answer enough?" The statement settled in and from what it looked like, appeared to work.

"Good point." He replied, already getting up to circle around the bed, "I need to make sure you're safely secured on this high bed. Can't allow you to fall off." He exaggerated, but I didn't mind, as long as he slept next to me.

Cutting off the room light, he got into the bed. I rolled onto my side, the only position I was comfortable in, facing away from him. The bed was so massive, all I felt was air behind me.

"Where are you?" I called out to the dark. The sheets tugged and the bed sunk behind me with his weight. I suddenly felt his bodyheat, before an arm snaked around my wasit, relaxing me completely. I wanted more contact, pushing against him, until my back met his chest. I hummed out, completely content with him holding me.

"You're alright with this, Jasper?" He whispered against my neck, causing me to shudder in delight.

I was surprised by how easily I fell into this, being in his home, in his bed. I felt a part of his life, no matter how small. If this was all I had from him, I'd be happy. I was just grateful, he could give me this, "I want it." I admitted, feeling my eyes grow heavy, "So much."

I was already slipping away into sleep. My body was totally laxed in his embrace, but I felt his lips against the knob of my spine. I could make out the rumble of his voice, yet I was unable to focus on the words.

"...you."

**xXx**

He was being ridiculous. I had spent many nights alone, I couldn't understand why this day was any different. I didn't mind a weekend at home, cleaning or perhaps inviting Bella over to watch a movie. If it was guilt he felt, then he could have easily apologized. We were supposed to spend the day together and later have dinner at Santa Monica, but he was needed at a last minute lunch meeting with another interested and potential employer. I had to push him to go. It was a job, way more important than dinner at the pier. And in return, I was to spend the entire afternoon with Jacob and Emmett - who actually wouldn't be over Rose's harassing anyone - before being dropped off at his house that evening.

It was an ungodly hour to be heading over to the apartment. At 8:30 Edward was parked outside the building, waiting for me. I got in the car, noticing that he looked a bit dishevled and agitated.

"Love, I'm so sorry that I'm doing this," He started again, "I have to go to my parants' and attempt to find some of my older and better work to show this guy before driving out to San-_fucking_-Diego just to hand it to him."

"Stop apologizing." I ordered, "I would have been fine at home."

Edward shook his head, "I'd feel much better if you were with Em and Jake today. It's really been nagging at me the entire morning. And sorry I was late. I told you to be outside by 8:20."

"Is that why you called and hung up?" I asked, "To tell me you'd be running late?"

Edward, driving out onto the main road, casted me a quick confused glance, "Baby, I didn't call back." He gave me a worried look, "Did you check the caller ID?"

I shook my head, "It wasn't on my cell. It was the house phone - no caller ID to check." Edward didn't look any better, in fact, I'd say he looked a bit upset, "It was probably Emmett, wondering where I was." The phone had rang right before I stepped out of the door. We were supposed to be over at exactly 8:30 and Emmett was known to get impatient when he wanted to get to the 'fun stuff', which could have been anything from a Disney movie or a walk on the boardwalk cruising men alongside his boyfriend.

"Hmm," Edward hummed in thought. He was worrying over something.

"You need to concentrate on getting to San Diego." I encouraged, "Remind them why they needed to see you so last minute." That seemed to do the trick for the moment. I got a pleased smile. I knew personally now, just how much talent he had. I was pretty sure I wasn't the only person moved by his work.

"You left the gift at my house." He pouted cutely.

I groaned, "I know. I forgot to put it in my bag when we were leaving."

"Not to worry." Edward gave me a cheeky grin, "That's why I was late, by the way. I had to search my bedroom up and down before I found it in the top drawer of my nightstand.

I felt like such a fool, "It looked so fragile, I didn't want to roll over it and break it."

Minutes later, we were parking in front of the apartments. Edward was sure to grab my gift, before following me upstairs as if he needed to make sure my 'babysitters' were prepared for me.

Not knocking, he got the spare key in its usual spot and walked us in. The house was alive with music coming from down the hall and morning cartoons on the living room T.V. I smelled pancakes and bacon and my stomach growled, remembering I didn't take anything down before leaving the house.

"_Damnit_." Edward grumbled, "Where are they?"

"Maybe they needed to step out for something." I shrugged, "It's okay that I'm alone for a few minutes, Edward."

He grumbled to himself, but didn't say anything, merely sitting on the couch in a huff. I rolled my eyes at his stubborness. It was foolish of him to waste time.

I jumped up, forgetting there was another stubborn boy I knew. The baby had become a little too active whenever I was in Edward's company. I was sure it had much to do with his voice, but I found it remarkable that he could distinguish it from everyone else.

"Love?" I was a bit taken back to see Edward already on his feet.

"I'm not due in another 4 months, Edward." I laughed, "I'm fine. He's just..._violent._" I snorted at my choice of word, but it was the closest to express the power behind his movements.

A look of relief crossed Edward's face before he stepped forward, pressing his hand against the bulge on my stomach. My body suddenly felt like it was on fire. It was such an intimate gesture, "I think he likes me now." Edward chuckled. For the first time that morning, he appeared relaxed and composed.

I nodded in agreement, "He loves gifts." We engaged in a kiss; longer than our usual. There was much more behind it this time around. I wanted to thank him for everthing; his affection, his patience and his constant need to make sure I was okay, no matter how much I found it uneccesary. Edward was becoming more than just someone I was close to; I desired him.

I pulled away, groaning at the sensation in my bladder. The pressure was painful enough, I bounced on my feet, in hopes to keep the feeling at bay.

Edward cocked his head, chuckling, "You can use the bathroom, you know." He offered. I bit my lip in embarassment and nodded, rushing down the hallway to the restroom where I happily relieved myself.

After the close call, I cleaned up and stepped out of the bathroom. I could still hear the pulsing music from Em and Jake's bedroom. I frowned, walking towards the closed door. I hesitated, hoping I didn't find anything I shouldn't have, took a deep breath and opened. I made out the unmade bed, the tossed clothes and the blue light indicating the stereo was on, but that was it. With a sigh of relief, I turned off the device and was greeted by a welcoming silence. I was out of the bedroom, shutting their door when then I heard the muffled thud from the guest room.

I wondered what Edward was doing in there. Had he left something? Did he hurt himself? A series of scenerios plagued my brain as I went for the door. I couldn't help the fear that rised and bubbled against my chest. It was illogical and perhaps a little dramatic for me to think such a thing would happen to him. He could have simply dropped a book or stubbed his toe, but nonetheless, I needed to know.

My palm flattened against the door, hearing the low creak before it was shadowed by another thumb, followed by another. What was going on? I was able to make out the headboard of the bed, knocking against the wall. I opened the door wider, catching the familiar short, soft curls. I gasped silently to myself when the view was fully presented. It was Emmett, face down on the bed, his hands gripping the sheets as if his life depended on it. His backside was lifted, being met with...Jacob's hips.

I stood frozen in the doorway. It took awhile to realize that they were naked from the hips down. Jacob stood at the foot of the bed, leaning over to press his chest against Emmett's back, giving his skin feverish kisses.

"Fuck this tight ass!" Emmett growled, clearly into the moment. My legs trembled at the sight. It was arousing, yet I felt guilty for my voyeristic participation. It took a lot of motivation, but I was able to step back, pulling the door with me, but not before Emmett caught me.

"Hey Blondie," He tossed casually, winking my way. I was very certain my face was tomato red before I closed the door and stepped back, right into a warm wall. I jumped, turning to meet Edward's green eyes.

"Love, what's the matter?"

I was still trembling from the sight. My sexual repression of the last few months was thrown in for a whirl. It was easy to get used to Emmett's dirty vocabulary, but in no way was I prepared for that. I couldn't speak, but I didn't need to, because at that moment, Edward had his answer.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuck!" Emmett wailed on the other side of the door. Edward gave a long sigh.

"Are you alright?" He asked, sympethetically.

I was able to compose myself, "It's hard to see...that." I finished the last word in a small voice.

"I can understand." His fingers toyed with the ends of my hair, "Do you want to leave? I can cancel-"

"You're not canceling anything. I can handle what I just saw." I cut him off quickly.

We walked back to the living room, waiting for them to finish. Moments later, Jacob appeared, a guilty look on his face.

"Jazz," He started, but I shook my head.

"Your house," I reassured, "You have the right to do whatever wherever."

"But we knew you were coming." He disagreed.

"And now he knows we did." Emmett's voice boomed from behind him. He was now fully dressed and wearing a wide grin. He threw an arm around Jacob's waist, burrowing his nose into his neck.

"Fuck, Emmett!" Jacob growled, attempting to move away, "We promised." He hissed quietly. I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear it.

"Hey, it's not my fault Blondie over there enjoys a good show, don't you Jazzy?" He asked with a smirk.

Edward, sitting right by my side wore a dark look, "Don't let it happen again." He commanded with so much authority, I shivered. I wasn't sure I agreed with his demand. We were, afterall , in their apartment.

"Edward, it's fine. Really." I tried, but it didn't seem to do any good.

"Yes, daddy." Emmett mocked, "I'll be sure to get off at a more reasonable time."

Jacob spoke directly to Edward, "It's been hard with work and Hope-"

"Indeed, it's been hard." Emmett commented, already walking around the couch to plop down. He didn't seem to have a care in the world. In fact, it seemed that he was playing indifferent to make Edward angry. I wasn't sure why.

Jacob ignored his interruption, "We lost track of time and you know how Em is..." Jacob tried to reason.

Edward gave Emmett a scathing look, "I do." He finally said.

"Let's not get worked up over this," I really didn't like the silent exchange between both men. It was unerving, primarily because they seemed to always keep from pushing the other beyond their limits. Now, it appeared, that they were instigating each other. I didn't want any type of conflict of my mistake, "Let's forget it, okay?"

Emmett beamed at Edward, "Blondie's right. Let's forget about how my baby laid it down and focus on taking care of your man and his little man." I had a feeling there was much more being said there, but I couldn't read into it now.

"Edward," I tried to shake him from his mood, "You have a day ahead of you." He finally gave in, standing to his feet. I walked him to the door, trying to maintain the distance between him and Emmett. His glare had died to a sulky glance at the doorway. I didn't want him to leave on his note.

"Sug," I tried to get his attention. His eyes were instantly on me, "Forget about what happened, okay? Just get through this day so I can see you again." He gave me a smile of awe.

"I'll be counting down," He said softly. He cupped a hand around the nape of my neck, but didn't pull me forward, instead waited for my initial movement. We shared a kiss similar to the one moments before I caught his two friends in the guest room.

He pulled away, only to peck my nose, "Let's eat out tonight," He whispered, "I'm having problems turning down a very insistent man who's been offering to buy the house."

"Really?" I asked, "Does that happen often?"

"Not really." He shrugged, already forgetting Emmett, "I'll be home at 8. See you then, love?"

"Counting down, right?" I repeated back to him. He merely smiled, pecking my lips again before slipping away and out the door.

Remembering where I was, I turned towards the living room, only to be met with two very shocked and speechless men.

"Umm," I stammered, "Sorry about that."

It didn't take long for a smile to break out on Emmett's face, "Sug?" He questioned like a little boy, "As in sugar?"

**xXx**

I wasn't sure if Edward would be okay with me being alone with Emmett. Jacob had work and was planning to be back before 5, so that left 8 hours of just me and his boyfriend in the confined space of the apartment. I wasn't surprised to be hounded by questions.

"Did you guys fuck?"

"Did you see his cock?"

"Has he eaten your ass out, yet?"

"Tell me, is his spunk tangy or sweet?"

After it was drilled into his mind that we had only ever kissed and shared a bed, he gave me a pout, his dimples eradicated and his brown eyes round and droopy like a puppy's. It was as if I announced there would be no more Christmas.

"You're killing me here, Blondie!" He complained, even kicking out his legs in a mini-tantrum. He was comfortable asking me questions about Edward, but yet I wasn't sure if I could bring up their small exchange from earlier. The way they had behaved, was much like two siblings, pushing the right buttons for the other. I wasn't sure if it was really the situation that sparked it or perhaps a hidden problem I couldn't catch. Edward was never demanding or enraged with me, and in Emmett's defense, he was always sweet, even in his perversion. It was a new side of both of them that I was seeing. I wasn't sure if it was my place to ask, so I refrained from it, rather allowing Emmett to do as he pleased, turning on his game console before starting some sort of war game. He asked me if I was interested, but I declined, pulling out the gift Edward had given me the morning after his house tour. I hadn't expected it. My stomach tingled at the memory of that moment. He was making it hard for me to resist him.

**xXx**

_"I must say, that was the best Cream of Wheat I ever had." Edward scoffed at my compliment in jest, but leaned over the kitchen counter, pecking my lips with a quiet thanks. _

_ "I have a secret ingredient." He whispered against my lips. He tasted so much like vanilla and sugar._

_ "What is it?"_

_ "Now it wouldn't be a secret if I toldl you." He wagged a finger at me, "Now, I must get to washing these dishes." He got up off his stool, grabbing my bowl before piling it onto his before walking over to the sink._

_ "Sug, I can help." I offered, trailing behind him._

_ His hair, wild from sleep faced me as he shook his head, "I want you to meet me upstairs in my bedroom, I have a surprise for you." I couldn't see his face from where he stood, so I wasn't sure if he was joking or not. I stood awkwardly in the kitchen, out of my element. It had been years since I ever recieved a gift from anyone. I really didn't know what to expect._

_ "What is it?" I finally spoke._

_ "Now, it wouldn't be a gift if I told you what it was, now would it?" He looked over his shoulder at me. There was a small smile on his lips and a look in his eyes I was unfamiliar with. But in that moment, I noted just how beautiful he was, "I'll be up in a minute." He gestured his head towards the wall, in the direction of the stairwell. _

_ I listened, a bit anxious to see what he meant by a gift. I was upstairs with more haste than I needed. My heart thumped ridiculously in my chest as I tried to calm myself down. Whatever this gift was, it had me more anxious than sleeping in his bed with him. I knew we crossed a friend line with kissing and sleeping in the same room, but whatever he planned on giving me, could maybe advance our relationship._

_ As if joining in on the anticipation, I felt a jerky chaos within me. Pressing my palm to the swell of my belly, I felt him move about, extending my skin a bit. It was a lot of pressure to just stand and take it with my racing mind. I took measured breaths, sitting on the soft mattress, kicking up my legs for elevation. Just then, I heard Edward's approaching footsteps. I held my breath, expecting him to enter any moment. He did, his cheeks flushed, one hand tucked behind his back._

_ "I know the idea of a gift may be too much too soon," He started softly, but watching how his eyes tightened partially, I could tell he was expecting me to agree, "But, I'd like to think of this as a gift to both of us. Jasper, I want you to know how much you mean to me. Is that alright?"_

_ I stared back at his waiting eyes and was nearly rendered speechless, "Are you asking if you could give me this gift?" I asked._

_ "I can only give it to you, if you want it." I tried my best to let the double meaning slip, but his exposed flesh his expanding and shrinking chest, his loose pajama bottoms, exposing his hip bones. _

_ "I want it." I whimpered, feeling guilty and just a bit relieved that I could admit that much to myself. _

_ He stood there, as if stunned for a moment, before shaking his head to rid of a thought. He pulled out his hidden arm, showing a box nearly the length and width of hand. He walked to the side of the bed, handing it to me, "Jasper," He said my name softly, but it might as well should have been a clap of thunder. My body tremored in an automated response, before I felt his fingers thread through my hair, "Open it for me."_

_ I did, without a question, tugging up the thin, lid, exposing what appeared to be a sleak, black screen, well fitted in the space. At a closer glance, I realized it was an itouch. I didn't quite understand what this meant. I had never been much of a fan to new technology. I appreciated it like most, but never had the time or money for anything other than what I needed. _

_ I looked up at him, expecting some sort of clarification in his eyes, "Edward, it's a great gift, but you don't have to give this to me if I-"_

_ He shook his head, "No, love." He smiled as if I was missing something _vital._ He leaned over, pinching the itouch from the box, before pressing the white square button at the bottom of the device. It immediately lit up, revealing a picture of what appeared to be the same studio piano in Edward's work room. He slid the pad of his thumb under the screen before opening up to a panel of icons. I watched in amazement as he worked his way through some files, before turning the screen to me._

_ "I want to be with you even I'm not," He said softly, "Everything I've ever recorded is on this. I've put other music on here, but-" His eyes searched mine, "Is that too presumptuous of me?" He suddenly looked fearful of a mistake he didn't make._

_ I couldn't word how touched I was that he would do such a thing - express his passion with me, "Edward, no." I fought to comfort him. My thumb was already stroking the rose of his cheek, "Show me, please."_

_ He nodded, taking the itouch, before getting up to dock it in the small stereo by his nightstand. He looked over at me, smiling shyly, "I want you to hear this first, because it came to me easier than anything before it." _

_ I was eager to know everything about the song, "What's it called?"_

_ There was a smile on his lips, one that suggested he was thinking of the moment he put it together, "It's called _Him._" I didn't have a moment to think on the title. He pressed a button and instantly the music was filling our silence. Crawling into bed with me, he waited in as I listened._

_ I knew this. I remembered it clearly - the waves of emotions, the enticing tune that had be drifting down the hallway - more than once - to his room. I heard this the night I met him, "Edward," I asked him with my eyes, because I couldn't get the words out. He was so close to me, his arm against mine as we sat against the headboard listening to the composed perfection._

_ "Jasper, the moment I saw you, I was inspired," He whispered so softly as if it was a secret for only us, "The music emmited off you like steam. I can't describe perfectly what happened that day, but it felt very much as if the storm in me was finally put at ease."_

_ I was touched. I was moved. I was all these other new things I couldn't describe right. My body screamed to touch him and my mind was in agony to accept his words at face value, allow myself to fall. He made it too easy. I felt my body mold into his, my head falling to his chest, right as his arm wrapped around my shoulder. _

_ "Thank you." I whispered, trying my best to throw in everything that I felt into those two words. He pressed his cheek against my hair and we both listened as the music narrated just about every feeling circulating through me. When the piece was done, I sighed, leaning away from Edward, only to show him how much I appreciated him. _

_ The kiss, chilled and burned me so deliciously, I didn't want to stop. Whimpering, I secured a hand behind his neck, keeping him to me. I was so hungry to show him how much I needed him._

_ "Mmm," Edward moaned against my lips in surprise, "Jazz." He sucked in a breath, easing me out of the kiss, with his palm to my cheek, "Baby, there is one more thing." I allowed him to pull away. His movements were swift. Before I knew it, he was in his walk-in closet, rummaging through things. He came out with a much bigger box. _

_ "It's for him." He spoke softly, handing the box to me. I gave him a final look, hoping that with this gift, I wouldn't lose all self control and fall completely. I lifted the box and smiled. _

_ The rest of the afternoon was spent in his bed, relishing the silence between us as a wide, cushioned headphone was wrapped around my swollen torso, Edward's music, my child's first lullaby. _

**xXx**

"So, you're sleeping over tonight?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at me through the rearview mirror.

"No, Em, just dinner." I answered honestly. I didn't want to invade his space too much. I was starting to believe that my quota was being met up with the time I was spending with Edward and his friends.

Jacob let out an audible sigh from the driver's seat, but didn't say anything else. He had been silent for the whole ride. I knew he was upset about something, but I wasn't sure what. It couldn't have been about the incident earlier, seeing how he came home from work with a small, round cake with elegent handwriting in red, blocked letters saying "Sorry, Jasper". I had to explain that he didn't need to do that. I was very much aware of Emmett's libido and their affections. I should have expected what I saw.

Emmett, on the other hand, wasn't sorry. That was no surprise at all. He had stated before Jacob came home, that it was healthy to see "two men going at it" and that it was "a sign from the devine" for me to "make friendly with Cullen Jr." He also made sure to state that he allowed Jacob to top only when they are at a disagreement about something. He wouldn't say what and that lead to why I was so curious about Jacob's demeanor.

We pulled up to Edward's house, driving up the slight hill of his drive-way. Emmett hoped out first, before opening my door, taking my hand and helping me rise to my feet, even despite my protests. Jacob walked the pebbled path to the door, ringing the bell before turning to us. His eyes travelled to mine, before he smiled in encouragement. When his eyes locked with Emmett's, they tightened, before he turned away.

"Oh fuck." Emmett grumbled behind me, but I wasn't sure why.

"What's wrong?"

Emmett cocked his head, examining his boyfriend, "Apparently, treating my ass as a cum receptacle wasn't enough," He dug his hands into his pockets, "My kryptonite." was mumbled quietly to himself, only confusing me more.

The door opened, revealing Edward donning a crisp, navy button down and black slacks. He must have changed after dropping me off. He ushered Jacob in, before I followed after. Without saying a word, he leaned in to peck my lips soundly.

"How was the meeting?" I asked.

"Grueling, but I think I may have another employer." He whispered against my lips, before glancing over my shoulder at Emmett.

"Whatever you did, fix it." He had the same authorative voice, yet this time it was softer and less angry than before. I felt guilty. Were they really afraid of what Emmett would say to me?

Before I could speak in his defence, Emmett spoke up, "That would require someone thrown over that mini grand you have in your loft, there, Eddie." Emmett chuckled, moving past us to the belly of the house. When he was out of sight, I focused my attention to Edward.

"Please, you don't need to scold him like that. Emmett is a bit shameless, but he's no harm."

Edward frowned, "I wish I could agree, baby." His lips were drawn down into a pained frown, "Sometimes when Emmett is shameless, it hurts." He wasn't talking about me. I frowned. He did something to Jacob?

Edward distracted me with a peck against my forehead, "I missed you." He whispered against my heated skin.

A pressure in my stomach had me jump slightly, "Someone else feels the same way." I joked, already done with me being a kicking bag for the day.

His hand planted itself on my stomach. He leaned over, pressing his lips to the fabric of my shirt, "I missed you too, Beckham." He joked, before kissing my stomach affectionately. My heart raced wildly in my chest. He stood at his full height, only to find himself against my body again as I gave him an unexpected wild kiss.

"Love," He sighed, "My neighbors are very nosy." He pulled back, "And I don't want to give them a show." He snickered, letting me know that that statement wasn't true.

"Sorry." I felt my lips pout out. I have really been losing my control around him. I couldn't help it. This was moving too swiftly and too quickly, in a maddening, familiar pace, but I wanted him so much.

"Don't be," His smile was so warm, I felt my heart baking, "I love kissing you." As if to prove it to me, he gave me a short, affectionate kiss and took my hand in his to guide me to the entry way of his house. Inside, we could here the animated voices of Jacob and Emmett. My chest clenched, feeling a surge of anger and resentment. I turned to Edward in a panic. What if they were arguing?

As if reading my thoughts, he spoke up, "I'll check on them, okay, love?" He looked me over, to see if I was alright. When I nodded, he parted, but not before pecking the crown of my head. I saw him disappear down the hallway that led to his studio and the guest room.

I stood awkwardly by the stairwell, trying to think of what I could do to occupy myself. I looked over my shoulder, out the grand window. The sun was almost gone, giving the day a orange glow. I wondered if I could change my mind tonight. Nothing sounded more welcoming than sleeping in Edward's arms.

My thoughts were disrupted when I heard three sharp knocks on Edward's front door. Had he ordered pizza expecting us? Had he decided to cancel eating out? It really didn't matter at this point, not with how the day turned out. I'd much rather see Jacob and Emmett happy and made up, then have a stolen night with Edward over dinner. We had other days for that. I waddled over to the door, feeling very much like a walking blimp.

Opening the door, I offered a smile, expecting a young, perhaps male deliverer, but what I saw was alarmingly unexpected. My heart died in my chest, my legs were numb, ice cold. I couldn't feel my blood rush. As if in an attempt to rev myself to life, My breath came out in harsh, pants. I stumbled back, a hand protective over my belly. I was unsuccessful. Light brown eyes drifted to my stomach.

And that's when I screamed.

**AN: I'm afraid to say this is just the start of a pummeling from readers. The next chapter is going to be VERY hard on Edward and Jasper. And this is only the beginning. But not to worry, good things comes to those who wait!**


	17. Twenty Three Weeks

**Author's Notes: **Thanks to all that reviewed the last chapter. I was so happy with what everyone thought. The reponses definitely made me want to delve a bit deeper into this aspect of the story. I was going to write out much of what I had planned in one chapter, but I figured, I'd add some length to it. Not to worry, many of your questions from Chapter Sixteen are answered here, but will be farther explained in the next chapter or the one after. This is another Jacob/Emmett centered chapter and the last for a lttle while. Gotta make room for everyone else! Hope you guys enjoy this one and aren't too annoyed with how it turns out. I promise I will make up for it.

**I do not own the characters.**

**Chapter Seventeen: 23 Weeks**

He stepped forward. His mouth moved, but I couldn't hear him.

My world shattered. It was all a dream. Edward's comfort, his kisses, his affection for me. It would never be, because he was back. Waiting on him hand and foot, loving him, comforting him. It was never enough. And he was back to take more from me.

I could finally make out what I was screaming. I was yelling his name. Edward.

"JASPER!" I heard his wail from the next room, but that was all. I had fallen deaf again. He took a step forward, towards me and my knees buckled. I would have fell over, if it wasn't for the soft wall I fell against.

"Baby, what is it?" My body was on autodrive. I was staring at him, words still spilling from my mouth, "Love, I'm right here. Please," His voice cracked and that was enough to let me have control over my body once more.

"Edward," I whimpered. My throat felt raw.

"What happened?" I heard Emmett's voice boom beside me. He was towering over us, me on my knees, held against Edward's chest. No one's eyes were on _him._ But he let himself be known.

"Jasper." I convulsed, my stomach swimming with contents. Emmett noticed my response, pulling himself at full height.

It was like he became someone else. His face darkened, his dimples nowhere to be found. He looked hostile - violent.

"Leave now." He barked the orders at the intruder. I watched in horror, not knowing what to expect. Jacob stepped into my sight, eyes trained on the back of Emmett's head. His expression was blank, but the twitch in his arm was enough to signal that he was ready for something.

"Jasper, baby, listen," Edward whispered in my ear, "I'm going to take you the to the guestroom, but you need to stand for me, love."

I shook my head, eyes still trained in the direction of the door. I couldn't move.

"Edward Cullen?" My body went stiff at the name. He knew Edward? He said Edward's name, "I'm afraid we're victims of a cruel circumstance." His eyes were on mine, holding me in place.

A noise, a mixture of a sob and pained struggle, escaped my throat. It was some sort of start-up for Emmett. Who growled in a tamed fury.

"Time's up."

It was so quick. Emmett's fist pulled back one second and the next, the man, I hadn't seen for nearly six months, was flying out of Edward's door. There was a blur of movment before I heard Jacob's voice.

"Emmett, this won't help!"

Edward's arms were vices around me, tugging me up on my feet. My eyes were still trained on the doorway. I couldn't see him now, but I could tell by Emmett's intimidating growl that he was still there.

"Jazz, please." His voice was shaking as if something frightened him. I wasn' sure what. It was I that feared for everything that was built around the last few months. It was me that was losing everything. Why was he so scared?

"Em, just let him go!" Jacob ordered. He stood, blocking my view.

"I'm not letting him anywhere near Jasper." Emmett snapped. There was a hallow thud and a groan, "I don't want to have to say the words again. Leave."

I heard his voice. I wasn't sure what he said, but my name was on his lips. Flashes of another world entered my mind; a fist clencing the collar of my shirt, a hot, day in sticky tears and the most alluring brown eyes I had ever seen.

I panicked, scrambling away from the arms that held me. It was _him._ He was taking me back, away from Edward. There were the drowned out voices, the thudding of my pulse in my ear and I was slipping, colliding with cold tile under me.

**xXx**

"He's gone."

"Are you sure?"

"Edward wouldn't have left unless he was."

"Em...promise me you won't lose yourself like that again?"

"...Just be happy it wasn't Paul or an ex of _yours._"

There was a sad, knowing sigh and silence. I groaned, unsure of what awaited me when I opened my eyes.

"Okay, Blondie." It was Emmett. I flinched at the feeling of big hands, touching my shoulder, "Don't move." I didn't listen, my mind lost to what happened before I lost consciousness.

"Edward?" I whimpered, cracking my eyes open to see both Jacob and Emmett giving me worried stares. I read the expressions wrongly, "Is he okay?" I cried.

"He's fine." Jacob soothed, leaning forward to press my damp hair away from my forehead, "He went to get his father."

Was he hurt? Did something happen? I looked from Emmett to Jacob to make sure they both were okay, "Why?"

Jacob bit his lip, but didn't answer. Emmett spoke up. For the first time ever in my life, I heard a somber voice rather than his usual bold rumbling tone or even the monstrous bellows from earlier, "Blondie, I know you don't remember, but you kind of lost it back there."

"Em-" Jacob chastised.

"You fell on your side trying to get away from Edward." He added with a wince.

"Edward?" I stared between them again, trying to piece everything together. It was James that grabbed me, wasn't it? He got pass Emmett and Jacob. He had me...

I shuddered. Where was he? Was he waiting for me at the house? What if he followed Edward? What if he did something...?

"Okay, okay." Emmett's hand was on my chest, easing me back against what felt like a bed. I hadn't realized I sat up. A stab in my gut had me gasping out. My hand reached over to grab my stomach.

_Oh God!_

"You're fine, Jasper." Jacob spoke gently, "Just breathe. Carlisle will be here in a minute. Edward had to pick him up at the hospital, because his car is in my shop." I couldn't have been fine if Edward felt he needed to get his father to check up on the baby.

Emmett smiled and shook his head, "You know Edward, Blondie. When it comes to his Main Squeeze, he's a bit of a coddler." His light joke didn't lift the mood at all, as much as I wanted it to. What if something happened and I lost the baby? It was my fault if something happened. A weird noise echoed from my throat. My hands shook so violently, there was nothing I could do to stop it. That flash from earlier - where everything changed. I remembered it well. The determination in his eyes as he spoke to Edward.

Edward...

He knew his name.

I shot up again, piecing the puzzle together.

The last minute job interview. The calls. James knew about Edward because he _knew_ him. Edward, the only person I trusted entirely with all I had, the man I thought I was in -

All of this was never real. He was waiting for my trust, so he could...

"Please, I need to leave!" My voice came out high pitched and shaky, just as his was. It must have scared him that I would find out. That I would know and their plan would fail. An agonized sob erupted from my chest and Emmett was already tucking his hand under my knee immediately.

"Jasper, honey, he isn't coming back." Jacob assured, "We're going to be with you, alright?"

"No..." I shook my head as Emmett pulled me to his chest. He was already on his feet, "Ed...ward." My body shuddered at the thought of him.

"He's fine." Jacob urged, "Emmett, what are you doing?"

"Babe, we need to get him out of here." Emmett's voice boomed. I felt movement. He had to be walking me out of the room, "He's not going to calm down until we leave."

"Alright." Jacob sighed, "Let me call Edward and tell him he's going home with us." I wanted to protest, but I had no energy to. Whatever happened, I was with them for now and that was enough.

**xXx**

"There is a pulse." Carlisle's voice was low and stoic, "A healthy one. Your son will be fine. Right now I'm more concerned about you." His brows were furrowed as he settled his hands in his lap. I was back at Emmett and Jacob's on newly washed blankets in the guest room. I was happy that Emmett intercepted Edward on his journey to the house. I couldn't quite understand how he knew I didn't want to see him. I wasn't exactly coherant about why Edward suddenly became the last person I wanted to see other than James.

Carlisle sighed, not satisfied with my silence, "Jasper, I, unfortunately am unable to relate or understand what is going through your head right now. You might feel alone, angry or perhaps paralyzed with fear. I wouldn't know." He pinched the bridge of his nose. He suddenly looked stressed and tired, "But please, I don't want you to entertain the thought of those who genuinely care and want to help are the ones that could betray your trust." I must have been more obvious than I believed.

"I don't know who to trust." I croaked, still tired and worn from the night.

"I understand," He nodded, "But why not trust those you already trusted before tonight, because I can assure you that their devotion didn't change." I couldn't help but wonder if he was just speaking of one person in particular.

Carlisle left me with the advice to stay in bed for the next few days with the exception to relieve myself or shower. He was to come back the following Monday to do his routine check-up, but other than that he assured me that the baby was fine. But as the days passed and I entered my 23rd week, I hadn't felt a single kick from him. I became a bit anxious and somewhat paranoid, thoughts playing through my head. I pictured the small fetus, crushed in my artificial womb, body marred and deformed. The fears warped into nightmares, James, brown eyes shining at me as he held a bundle of blood, laughing manically before his eyes shimmered to a green and his dark blonde hair was a rusty red. I woke up a few mornings with Emmett or Jacob laying next to me, attempting to ease me back into sanity.

On Sunday evening, Jacob popped his head into my room, smiling weakly. He looked nearly as tired as I was, but kept his spirits higher at least in my company. I hadn't heard much of an exchange between him and Emmett since the second night I was over. He had just came back from a brief trip to see Hope. I could hear Emmett sliding my dinner plate that he had taken from me moments before into the sink.

"How's your baby girl?" He asked. It seemed like a pretty normal question, but I could tell by the heavy silence that Jacob took it for something else.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jacob added an angry bass to his voice that had me scared for Emmett. Whatever was going on between them wouldn't die down even after the last few days.

I could hear Emmett sigh through the open door to the guestroom. I couldn't get up and move to close the door to give them privacy. I was still in intense pain, a wide bruise on the side of my swollen belly, "Babe, I just want to know how the baby is doing."

"_The _baby?" Jacob picked at his sentence, "So that's it?" I imagined him slapping his thighs in exasperation.

"Babe-"

"I never thought I'd be punished for being honest with you," I winced, hearing pain in Jacob's statement. My curiosity got the best of me. I listened in anticipation, eager to know what could be disrupting a relationship I thought was so loving and perfect.

"You're not being punished." From the sound of his dropping voice, I assumed he must have closed the distance between them, "I just don't want to disappoint you."

"I don't understand." There was a brief silence, "I must be keeping you from something."

"Stop thinking like that."

"I can't help it." There were footsteps drawing close to the guestroom.

"Babe, come on." There were heavier steps following.

"Emmett, if this isn't what you wanted, you should have told me. You don't owe me anything by sticking around." The bedroom door closed and I heard Emmett let out a painful sigh. I felt like an intruder for listening in and even worse, for having a small ounce of hope that there was a possibilty of no happy ending even for perfect partners like them. If their chances were rocky, then what happiness I had with Edward was figment of my imagination.

I was snapped back into the present when Jacob spoke, "Hey Jazz, how are you?"

I sighed, placing my book down. Emmett was kind enough to stop by my house and grab some clothes and a few things to keep me busy, "I actually spent the morning on the patio reading." I answered, my voice a bit stronger than the last few days. My physical aches and pains were gone, but I still felt the strain of pang from the days without contact with Edward. My cellphone, which I so rarely used went off a few times a day, but I just couldn't bring myself to look at the Caller ID.

Jacob smiled warmly. I was happy to see the smile reach his eyes, "I'll be leaving in a bit. I'm closing shop today. Em is on his way home from a client." He hesitated for a moment, biting his lip as he leaned in the room more, "Have you spoken to Edward?"

I winced. The nightmares had gotten worse each night. I woke up that morning, shaking with Jacob's overheated hand against the nape of my neck as he soothed me down. I noticed that Emmett and him took turns sleeping in the room with me to keep an eye on me, but I was sure it was also in the benefit of not having to sleep with each other.

I had considered what Carlisle said, but I couldn't piece the story together any other way. How did James know Edward and why did he seem so frightened?

"I...can't." Jacob frowned at the answer. He let go of the door and walked in until he was close enough to sit on my bed, but he stood where he was.

"It's been four days." Jacob said softly, shifting his weight on his left leg. The look he gave me was of intense determination. I hadn't thought of the days seperately. They had been bunched into one long moment of sunrises and sunsets, much like the days I was out of it with the medication.

My eyes darted everywhere but at his as I fumbled with the worned edges of the book on the bed, "Jasper, I'm not forcing you to speak to him. You deserve time to think things over, but It would be nice if you hurry the fuck up," My eyes snapped to his and he gave me an apologetic smile, "Everytime I see the girls, Alice pretty much hounds me. It's fucking scary. I do not envy you if she decides to march her pixie ass here." I smiled despite his frankness. It was what I could count on from him and Emmett, if not a good laugh and it was also nice to see a bit of normalcy even if it was in relation to speaking to Edward again.

"I wouldn't want that." I really didn't. Remembering the days with Alice and Esme, as fun as they were, Alice could be too forceful for comfort.

"Please," He added with wide eyes and a short laugh, before his features sombered a bit, "Edward is a mess. I don't enjoy telling you this, but Alice says he won't answer her calls and has been disappearing for the last few days." A clenching in my chest and gut had me clutching the borrowed shirt I was wearing. Jacob noticed and quickly spoke, "She's sure he's just going to the studio. He used to be this exact same way after Em and I started dating." He added with a hint of sadness. I didn't feel any better.

My mind was once again muddled with what to believe. Was I delirious when I felt his touch and _knew_ there was something there or was it something real? I pictured every moment I vocally responded to the kicks in my stomach, how'd he jump up, eyes wide asking if I was okay. how silly I thought it was that he was on his feet even if I wobbled a bit from my own weight. That couldn't be fabricated, could it?

"Umm, yeah," Jacob uttered awkwardly, "No pressure." I knew there was an urgency to get things to normal with everyone. I felt the same need when I heard the dead air each night in their house. I always imagined nights there would be filled with vocal pleas and moans of desire, not just the small mews of Lion from the living room. It was depressing and I couldn't deny myself that I preferred their intimacy to their babysitting as I slept.

There was the familiar jingle of keys and the rattling of the door as it opened. Emmett was home. I sat up straighter in bed, hearing his heavy footsteps as he walked towards my room. It was routine for him to check on me after work.

"Blondie!" His voice boomed, "Pizza. Ewen McGregor's cock. Me and you, buddy!" He snickered enthusiastically, before his footsteps halted outside the door. His eyes widened a bit at the sight of Jacob right next to my bed, "Hey babe. I thought you'd be at work..." He stared at Jacob with a look I had never seen on his face before.

"I was leaving now." Jacob said flatly, moving past him. I watched in awe as Emmett's arm shot out to stop him.

"Have a good day at work, okay, babe?" He whispered gently, before leaning in to whisper something in Jacob's ear. When he was pulling away, a hesitant smile made it's way to his boyfriend's lips, "I love you." I was able to catch the whispered phrase. I sighed inwardly feeling a tickle of hope.

Jacob palmed Emmett's face gingerly before leaving the room. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. They were two very masculine men, not an ounce of feminity in them, but it looked so beautiful seeing them affectionate with each other, no matter _how_ I caught them. I sighed, feeling envious that they had something so pure and normal, even if there were on the rocks.

Emmett turned to me, a cocky grin on his face before he dived on the bed backwards, bouncing a few times at my feet before throwing his hands behind his head. He looked like a troublemaker who was let off being grounded. I narrowed my eyes at him, hoping he wasn't up to something, "What?" He pouted up at me.

"Emmett, you two haven't talked in days. I hope you're not..." I didn't know really what he could be doing. I didn't want him to make it worse.

"Jasper, you've known me long enough to see that I'm never fake or half assed about anything." He cocked his head, "Just an ass."

"Is everything okay with your guys?" I asked, my hope showing in my voice.

He licked his lips, staring at the ceiling fan in the room, "We'll talk." He shrugged.

I fidgeted next to him, "Were you...scared?" It felt like a foolish question to ask, but I was almost sure that Jacob was writing off their relationship a few days ago. Emmett's face went blank, before he inclined his head so our eyes could meet.

"Just between us Blondie," He said softly, "I was petrified." I pouted, not liking the idea that it was that bad. Offering my comfort, I allowed my fingers to pet the end of his soft locks.

"Do you mind me asking...?" I finished the question with my eyes, hoping he'd catch the rest of it.

"The night before Edward dropped you off, Jake and I came back from Rose's. Jacob was going on about turning the guestroom into a nursery - her room. It freaked me out. We never spoke about having kids and I guess being a dad meant, you know, _being_ a dad. It wasn't just a him thing, it was an us thing."

"But you knew that, right?"

"Everything looks better on paper," Emmett snorted, "Or out of that sexy boy's mouth. It was his idea to say he was Hope's father. No one would think anything of it. He _is _related to..." His teeth clamped shut as if saying Paul's name was poison, "I never knew how much he wanted kids."

My fingers grazed the crown of his head, "And you don't?"

"Look at me, Blondie," Emmett moved his hands from behind his head, balancing himself on his elbows to I could see him better, "I'm not father material. I'm 'too impulsive'" he quoted with a sneer.

"Who said that?" I asked with a frown.

He fell back against the bed with a huff, "Your boy." He said bitterly.

"Edward?" His name sounded like heaven on my tongue. I forgot how much I loved saying it.

There was a moment's pause, "He never said I wasn't father material, but when I first started dating Jacob, he saw how serious it was. It was one of the reasons he stayed away. And when he got close to Jacob, something...happened."

"What?"

"Edward became a confidante. Apparently he knew before me that Jacob was a family man. It was all in passing conversation though, but you know how Edward is - a _fucking_ mind reader. And every once in a while when there's trouble in paradise, he starts that impulsive behavior lecture."

"Do you believe him?" I asked, "That you're impulsive?"

"Well I certaintly think with my dick a lot." He chuckled, "But it's different with Jacob."

"Maybe you're thinking too quickly with something else." I suggested.

He lifted his head, kinking an eyebrow at me, "Well, look at this. Blondie is insightful and delicious." He teased, licking his lips. I felt my skin flush before I turned away. I sometimes forgot how much he was a flirt, no matter how good of a friend he was becoming.

"I'm impulsive too." I admitted.

"Oh?" He cocked his head.

"I think with fear." There was a knowing hum next to me, "Everyone is going to leave, trust no one. Run or be left." I shrugged, hoping he wouldn't make a big deal out of the confession.

"Well then we're some sexy, impulsive fucks." He snickered, "Hmm, maybe if we fuck, they'd cancel out?" He suggested with a cackle.

I rolled my eyes, but laughed anyway. He relaxed back on the bed. There was a moment of silence. I knew there was more to what had him and his boyfriend at odds, just like he knew there was more to why I felt so adament about avoiding Edward without me saying a word. Oddly enough, Emmett came through when I expected to be alone.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"I haven't fucked you yet, babe." He joked.

"I mean it." I let a finger twirl one of his tendrils, "You didn't ask questions about anything. It's like you knew."

He was quiet, "I saw that face before. I don't think I'd ever be able to forget it." His voice was leaking with a tamed fury, "I guess being impulsive worked for me there, right?"

"Right."

**xXx**

"Have you been logging in your journal?" Carlisle tugged on the edge of his stethoscope as he inched closer to me to check my pulse, eyeing his watch.

"No." I mumbled. My mind had been a cloud of nightmares and fears the last few days. I couldn't even formulate a word on paper if I tried.

"No matter what's going on, it's important that you write in it, Jasper." Carlisle lightly scolded, "And it's fine to put your thoughts and what affects your progress in the pregnancy."

My throat was clogged with unshed tears. The way he stared at me, reminded me so much of Edward. His eyes shouted with annoyance and exhaustion, "I'm sorry," my palms veiled my eyes as I cowered away. Going on five days and I hadn't spoken to Edward. It hurt as each hour wore on. It didn't matter that I did just about the same thing I always did with Jacob and Emmett that made me feel so comfortable and happy - it was without him. And the man that sat with me at that moment, so similar to his son, gave me a look I never wanted to see directed at me by his offspring.

"Son," Strong hands gripped my shoulder, "I'm sorry if I come off a bit short. Understand it has been a very heavy two weeks for the both of us. You did nothing wrong. I should be the one apologising."

How easier would their lives be without me, "But if I wasn't here-"

"Nonense." He cut me off, sounding very much like a father, "Because you're here, a lot of things changed, but none you seem to realize." He sounded vague. I wasn't sure whether it was bad or good, but his voice was so gentle, I found myself calming down.

"Is everything okay with me?" I asked, watching as he scribbled notes down in my journal.

"You tell me, son." He said with a kind smile.

I didn't know how to answer the question, "I miss him." And yet it came out so easily.

His smile only broadened, "I noticed." I frowned at his comment, "In fact, anyone in either of your company notices. Are you ready to see him?"

"I'm scared."

"Of what?" Carlisle unwrapped the stethoscope from his neck, placing it in his small, black bag.

"Of being right." My impulsive assumptions.

"Only one way to find out." He answered. His wise teal eyes I had once connected to my father were warm and compassionate, something I hadn't seen in the eyes of my father in a long time. Not since...

"What if he doesn't - what if I messed up?" What if he doesn't take me back?

"If he missed you, he wouldn't harness such anger long." He shut my journal, handing it back to me, "When we're scared, we forget the most obvious things. You may have forgotten just how stubborn and patient that boy is." He added with a fond smile.

It was a painfully bright morning. Even the curtains couldn't hide the summer sun. After breakfast, Jacob and Emmett conveniantly disappeared when Carlisle arrived. I hoped that they were talking out their problems rather than doing the normal routine. As my Doctor visit ended, I heard the front door open again. I was glad they were back. Being left alone still didn't sit well with me. I wasn't sure if James had followed, knowing that he did so with Edward.

I paused in thought.

If I believed him to follow Edward, then deep down I knew Edward was innocent. The guilt compounded in me, but not before the sense of relief washed over. Carlisle rose to his feet, just as we heard the small tinkle of a voice say in agitation, "Where is he?" Carlisle and I exchanged a curious glance. To my surprise, Alice stood in the doorway, a flattering sundress on with a bag latched over her shoulder.

"You!" She pointed at me. She looked a bit dishevled, but other than that, glowing, "I could have sworn we already had this conversation." She shook her pointer finger at me, before acknowledging Carlisle, "Hi dad." She threw last minute.

"Good morning to you too, Alice," He replied with a small smile, "How's Hope?"

"Pretty high." She joked, but was still able to keep her serious expression.

"Well, I'd hope you'd spare some grief," He added with a pointed look. I was shocked to see her finger retract before she pouted.

"Fine." She growled. Carlisle turned to me, a glint in his eyes.

"I hope to see you soon and hopefully in better shape." He clasped his bag shut, "Have a good day you two." He added, before stepping through the threshold of the door, only to stop and point a finger at Alice, "Be nice." He disappeared down the hall. I heard the echo of Rosalie's voice and Hope's two fathers.

Alice stared at me in silence. She still looked angry, "Is he okay?" I asked.

"So kind of you to ask." She huffed, "No, he isn't. The last I've seen of him was the night you trapsed off-"

I let out a shaky breath, "I got scared."

"No kidding." She snapped, before taking a few deep breaths, "Just _please_ call him. There is but so much I can do right now." She pointed to her bag that was filled with diapers and bottles.

"Did you find time to finish the book?" I asked, trying to change the subject. I wasn't quite ready to make contact.

She frowned, "What book?"

"The one you borrowed a few weeks ago." I noticed how her facial expression change from confusion to...a dark look.

"Yeah, umm," Her demeanor changed dramatically, "I'll return it as soon as possible."

"Take your time, Alice."

"Hopefully you won't take yours contacting him."

"Alice-"

"I don't want to hear it. Either you call him today or you'll suffer the consequences." She didn't give me time to finish. She was already out the door, small feet pattering down the hallway. I heard a whimper and cry and sat up in bed, my hand already on the bulge on my abdomen. Carlisle made it clear that we were both healthy, but I hadn't felt him move in four days. Kicking my feet off the bed, I eased out and waddled my way to the door.

I heard the low voices of Jacob and Emmett and continued towards the noise in the living room. Rosalie, now much smaller and happy sat on the loveseat right next to the baby carrier that Jacob and Emmett were hovered over.

"Jasper." She stood to her feet, surprising me with an embrasive hug that we wouldn't have been able to accomplish two weeks ago, "How are you?"

"Not as good as he should be." Alice mutter, taking the bag off her shoulders.

Rosalie ignored the comment, "Do you want to hold the baby?"

I never thought a question like that would make me so nervous.

**xXx**

After a few hours of cradling the small, baby girl, it was time for Rosalie to leave, "She really needs her sleep." She said with a yawn. She looked a bit weathered herself. Alice had dropped her off before leaving for work, so one of the guys had to take her home. The question was who?

"Babe, you know I haven't seen much of Hope. I was hoping I could stick around and play with her awhile." Emmett whined, getting a roll of the eye from his boyfriend. It looked like they were back to their old selves.

"Yeah, but you'll be off all day tomorrow."Jacob argued, "You'll have 24 hours to look at the newborn sleep." They continued to bicker like normal as I and Rosalie waited it out, smirks of relief on our faces. It was better this than them not speaking to each other at all.

"Alright," Rose cut in, "I'm leaving. And if that means taking the cab..." She walked towards the door, bag over shoulder and baby carrier in hand. Both boys scrambled for the door.

"Come on, Rose, let me get the bag!" Emmett whined.

"The baby. The carrier is too heavy." He pawed at her hands.

I sighed, knowing that this would go on for awhile until someone stepped in, "Look, why don't you both go?" I suggested. Three pairs of eyes were on me, "It's where you want to be.."

Sensing what I was doing, Emmett spoke up, "Wait, Blondie," He frowned, "I'll stay-"

"It's okay." I shrugged, trying to be brave, "I'll be fine."

All three exchanged glances, "I don't know..." Jacob said slowly.

"Rose needs to relax and the baby needs her sleep. I'll be fine."

"You said that already." Rose observed with narrow eyes.

I groaned inwardly, knowing that there were three people disecting every word that left my mouth, "I'm just going to take a nap. By the time I wake up..." I nodded, knowing they could finish the rest.

There was no way I was napping. Not with the nightmares I had, but hopefully they would slip the boys' minds.

"Blondie-" Emmett's gaze didn't waver, "Are you sure?"

"One-hundred percent." I managed a smile and that seemed to do the trick.

"_Call_ us." Jacob urged, "I don't care if you're scared of your own shadow. We'll run back."

"Bye, Jasper." Rosalie smiled sweetly and they disappeared behind the door. I was able to hold the whimper long enough so they wouldn't hear me.

And I panicked. What if James came? What if he knew they left? I paced the apartment living room, wringing my hands, trying to focus on breathing, walking and things other than being alone and James popping up again.

I thought about Edward. I thought about the way he held me until I fell asleep, how he had the habit of pushing my blonde curls from my face. It calmed me down considerably. In slower pants, I walked over to the living room, taking a seat. In my attempts to relax, I allowed my body to fall against the fluffy cusion, my head lolling to the arm of the chair. I didn't know I fell asleep until I heard the earth-shattering pound. I jumped up off the couch, my heart in my throat as I stood there in the living room. I couldn't hold my weight up much, with the fear coursing through me. All I could think about was how he found me, how he was taking me away.

I caught wild eyes, searching the apartment before landing on me. They were green and shimmery by a lens of wetness, "Jasper!" I heard the agonized wail and jumped again. Was I dreaming? Edward stood there in the doorway, a look of fear written over his now scruffy face. He looked so tired and sick, I whimpered at the sight. I did that to him. "Baby!" He ran across the room, reaching me in a pant. It looked like he came on foot from his house. Still a bit shaken from my sleep, I watched him speechless.

"Are you okay?" His cool hands pressed against my cheek, my chest, as if checking for something, "Baby, please speak to me."

"I-I'm okay." I stammered.

He let out a sigh of relief, "I'm so sorry I scared you. Alice called saying that the boys left you alone. She sounded so scared- "

"Alice?" I repeated, getting a nod. I shook my head. She was a clever girl, "It was her way of getting you here." I informed.

What I said dawned on his fac and he pulled his hands back as if I was fire. It stung so much, I could feel my eyes water. He was only here because he thought I was in danger - that's it. Alice's plan wasn't a success.

"I'm sorry." I belted out, "She wanted me to call you and I just couldn't and she took it into her own hands..."

"I understand, Jasper." He nodded, running a hand through his hair as he turned away. The way he said my name - like I was a stranger.

What did I do?

I grasped at the shirt I was wearing, feeling the air leave the room. God, I couldn't breath! It was never real. There was no way I could be that happy forever. I felt myself crumbling.

"Sug," I cried out, holding my hands to my face to block whatever else form tumbling out. It was all over just like that. I'd wake up tomorrow in my own bed, my domestic partner and father of my child with me. It would be as if Edward never happened.

I wasn't sure I could do this.

"Love, please," Long arms hugged my frame, pulling me against a warm chest, "Don't cry." I burrowed my face into his neck, tasting his home, his body. It felt so good having him touch me again.

"I was stupid." I hadn't realized the trail of wetness on my cheek, the way he soothed me with his hands, "I don't know why I thought-"

"It doesn't matter, okay?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"It does," I argued, pulling away from him so we could be face to face, "Edward, I shouldn't have assumed he knew you-" A wrinkle creased between his brows.

"Baby, he knew who I was, but not in the way you assumed," He said gently, stroking the tears from my cheek with his thumb, "He had been tracking me for the last year or so, off and on to get the house."

The comment threw me back for a second. A house...I vaguely remembered James mentioning the house he wanted...the young boy...meant for a family. I stared at Edward in bewilderment, "You were the owner." I said more to myself than him.

"But there's more than that, love," His features were marred by anger, "I think he has been watching me and you."

"H-how?"

His shoulders lifted slightly in a weak shrug, "I don't know, but he wasn't surprised to see you at the house."

"I-is he coming back to - Is he going to find me?" Edward held me tighter to him as my body gave in to a violent shudder.

"He had left a contact number months ago. I called him back and I told him I don't want to see him on my property again and if I did, a lawyer would be involved next time," Edward then traced his hands up my face so he could lift them in his direction, "You can't go back home, love. You don't have to stay with me, but I don't want you going back until you're ready to speak to him, okay?" I nodded my head in understanding.

"I want to stay with you." I pleaded, leaning in to catch his soft lips with mine. The world was momentarily forgotten when I felt his arms wrapping around my lower waist, resting just above my backside. I begged for forgiveness, told him how much I missed him, how sorry I was for leaving him and not trusting in him. My lips spoke everything I couldn't say coherantly, and he read everything clearly. A warming sensation expanded in me, like a fireball, growing in size. I pressed my chest to his, whimpering his name, wanting him closer, needing him by me. I made a mistake, I wanted this, I trusted this. I wanted to be _his._

Our tongues met in a frenzied attempt to meld our bodies together. I moaned into his mouth, feeling his hands snake down my backside, pressing me closer to him, though it was hard with my bulging belly. He pulled away, only to nip my chin and neck lightly with his teeth.

"I missed you." He whispered into my skin between a trail of butterfly kisses, "I can't spend another day without you, Jasper. Please, don't leave me again." His pink lips traced the line of my jaw before dipping down to my adam's apple, kissing and tonguing it with his wet muscle. I literaly lost all balance in my legs. His hands dug into my round flesh, keeping me on my feet.

I whined at the words, feeling his vulnerability and honest desire for me. It spoke in the way he kissed and pressed my body to his, never letting me pull away. I didn't mind at all, "I'll never leave again," I was able to get out between shaky breaths, "I'm sorry I doubted you." His lips moved to my cheeks, his tongue darting out to lick the salty trail on my flushing skin, before pecking the sensitive flesh just under my eyes. I felt the rough texture of his cheek, noting he hadn't shaved in a day or two. I wanted to kiss away the mistake I made.

Snaking my hands through his wild hair, I grabbed from the base of his locks, pushing him against my lips more. I was willing to give him anything. I tugged at the collar of his shirt, staring at his glazed eyes before I let out in a low pant, "I want you so much." Edward responded with walking me backwards into the couch, until I hit the back. With little effort, he helped me up, lips still lost on my flesh, hands still holding me. He tasted so sweet, his essence invading my senses. I wanted nothing more than to...

"Ungh!" I shouted, feeling the pressure in me. Edward jumped back, eyes wide, staring at my stomach. My hand ghosted over the spot where my son kicked and I smiled the biggest smile I could muster in my lust haze. He was _okay,_ my baby was healthy, he just missed Edward as much as I did.

"That was quite a kick!" Edward laughed, getting over his shock. The pressure between our bodies, he must have felt it against his stomach as well, "A little too young for the World Cup." Edward joked, rubbing my stomach affectionately, "I missed you too. The both of you." His eyes met mine and in that moment, I was sure he would make a perfect father. I sighed at the thought.

"You're beautiful," He pecked my nose, "What are you thinking?"

"How perfect you are." He snorted, "Thank you for tolerating me." He shook his head as if in disagreement.

"_You're_ perfect and you don't have to thank me for something so silly. I don't _tolerate_, I care about you so damn much. And you should be thanking Alice for her scheme." Edward said with a roll of his eyes, but I knew he was serious. We shared a brief kiss, nothing as intense as our last now that we had an audience. I hadn't realized just how far I was willing to go, until I felt him against me again. The noises I made when he touched the right spots. I couldn't help the roaring desire and it was only building and gaining momentum for him.

I was thankful this moment happened under this circumstance. Being alone - with him.

Alice was sly indeed. It wasn't just her calling Edward that was part of her scheme. One thing I knew about Alice was that she went lengths to get her way, from forcing Edward to come out to his parents by paling around with him in college, to making sure I stayed healthy by doing nonstop sleepovers at my apartment. Dropping off Rosalie for a few hours at the apartment, knowing she'd need a ride back and that the guys would fuss. She was smart enough to know I'd suggest being by myself, just to keep one from pouting at home. I'd be alone and all she had to do was call Edward and use her skills to play an emergency and have him running over here, knowing we'd make up. I was sure I wasn't giving her too much credit. It had her name written all over it.

"I'd say we thank her, and the other mommy and daddies with a night off and we babysit." He smiled at the idea, "They are wonderful friends." I pecked his lips, loving the way he smirked against my mouth.

James was momentarily forgotten as we basked in being reunited, "You have no idea, love."

**xXx**

**AN: I hope Jasper's explanation for his assumption made up for the assumption in the first place. It appears him and Emmett are the trouble-makers in this chapter and I wanted to write out their connection. Sorry for taking the angst to the NEXT level, but you know...angst will be angst. And yes, I haven't covered much on James yet, because there is A LOT to cover and his story isn't over. I hope at least that everyone is happy that Edward and Jasper are A-Okay...for now. ;)**

**Tell me what you thought of the chapter. Opinions are welcome!**


	18. Twenty Four Weeks

**Author's Notes:** It took awhile to put this up. I was still recovering from writing the last chapter, which I wasn't completely satisfied with and dove into some one-shots. This chapter is full of flashbacks, well more riddled with them than the last ones. And another thing that makes it different is there is more **SEX**. Yeah, that's right, you heard me. But don't go running into this boners first. My main focus was lifting a few blind-spots to understand Jasper better first and second, add a bit of fluff. Hope this chapter is pleasurable.

Thanks to those who let me know what they thought of the last chapter. It really fast forwarded getting this done. Yeah, I know, you could have waited longer than this! Shudder to think.

**Do Not Own the Characters.**

**xXx**

**Chapter Eighteen: 24 Weeks**

_It was his first time over. I couldn't understand why I was so nervous. Laurent had been a school friend for the last two years or so. Fresh from New Orleans, he was a shy boy who couldn't quite get used to a small town in Alabama. I empathized with him - perhaps that's why we got along so well. _

_ But not well enough to be close friends. I was still a bit confused about what was going on with me. Boys were becoming harder to be like and easier to admire. I noticed things I was sure they didn't notice about each other. It was hard to have male friends. I was too afraid of what might happen._

_ But Laurent was different. He wasn't an Alabama boy, just like I felt I wasn't. There was just too much Texan blood from mama._

_ We had skidded in on our heels as we made it on the property. Mama was on the patio, A long glass of Iced Tea in hand and a pointed look on her face that said 'Act like you have some sense, child!' Something she would never say in company, but like me, Laurent knew the look as well and politely walked down the pathway, up the creaking steps on the patio. With a bashful smile, he greeted my mother, his accent rich on his tongue. It always seemed thicker when he was nervous. _

_ Mama's eyes bulged only to soften as a smile graced her face, "Oh Sug, where are you from?"_

_ "New Orleans, madame." He mumbled nervously. I gave a snicker at his side. Under his golden brown skin, I could see the faint blush of red creep up, even under the neat, black wounded locks of his hair. Mama, as if, reading my mind, chuckled and complimented him on his hair. _

_ "It looks absolutely gorgeous." As she was, she carried on talking to Laurent, offering him tea and her baked cookies before leaving him alone when I pleaded some time with him. _

_ "Sorry about that." I apologized, but somewhere inside myself, I knew I wasn't sorry. The blush on his chocolate skin had stirred an intense interest. I always noticed how good looking he was, how deep his voice was, even for a Sophomore in High School. Along with his eclectic style and personality, it only made him more attractive._

_ Attractive. Yes, that was the word._

_ He shrugged, throwing his bag down next to mine. We were out of earshot and sight from mama, who was still comfortably on the patio chair, soaking up the last of Spring, "I don't mind. Maman is the exact same way."_

_ "That's your mom, right?" I asked, not understanding the word he used._

_ His lips widened and I was rewarded with a gracious smile, "Yes."_

_ To say the rest of the afternoon was spent on homework and studying would have made us productive students, but Laurent was too distracting for me to do anything productive. We talked about the plantation home his family had owned for the last few generations due to a rather generous and sympathetic widow 200 years ago. He sighed, telling me how massive the place was, how he missed his family there. There was enough room for 15 people from the family to live comfortably. But his parents wanted someplace new. Why they chose Alabama, it was unknown to him. I was glad they did._

_ Our conversation progressed from school, to extra curricular activities, to the school dance. Laurent asked me who I was taking and I had to bite back the explanation of why it would be _no one_. I just shook my head, stating how I couldn't dance. _

_ He said he'd teach me._

_ I replied honestly - I was going with no one._

_ "Go with me?" The question was urgent, pleading to my ears. Did he want me to?_

_ I frowned, unsure why I enjoyed the idea so much. Would we dance together? The fleeting thought made me smile, "I-" I started, unable to answer._

_ "Jasper, would you..." And he let the words hang in the air, "Be my date?" His brown eyes searched my own as if he was expecting a strong reaction - outrage maybe? But even so, he was so brave to ask. I wouldn't have even been brave enough to touch his arm, lean in too close in fear of what would take over me or how he'd react._

_ "Yes." It came out a panted whisper, but he heard it all the same and it made him smile wider. _

_ He looked so beautiful._

_ Yes, that was the word._

_ Without thinking, I leaned in, pressing my lips against the corner of his. His smile faltered as he pulled back in shock, blinking. _

_ I leaned away in fear. What did I do? My lips parted to formulate an apology, but it wasn't neccesary. Laurent fell into me, silencing my fears with a light kiss._

_ A kiss that deepened._

_ We breathed the other in on the carpeted floor of my room, our school bags at our sides, my room door slightly ajar. None of it, I noticed. He tasted like the mints he occasionally popped in his mouth when he thought I wasn't looking. His hands were narrow, but strong, wrapping around my back, pressing me closer to him. When his tongue touched mine, it sent jolts of pleasure down my sides, where it lingered and ebbed away before another zap brought it back to life. Nerves responded to the new feelings. My body was suddenly hyperaware._

_ When he finally pulled away, we were gasping, watching each other with glazed eyes. My hands, which were lamely at my sides, raised, catching a wound lock that fell over his eyes. I tugged it back behind his ear and gave him a smile._

_ "There," I said with a sense of relief, as if it had been bothering me the whole time. Somehow it broke the spell of the moment and we erupted in laughter, leaning into each other. The relief was bigger than a simple dreadlock in the way - it was the mounting fear I had been riding the last year. Kissing _him _lifted the weight of the world off my shoulders._

_ I knew what I was now. And I had someone to share it with._

**xXx**

"Love?" I felt the pressure on my shoulders. I was moving, but it wasn't me moving _myself_, "Baby, are you alright?"

"Hmm?" How long had I been sitting here like this? I blinked, looking around, catching the emerald eyes that held my own. Another program was already on. I hadn't even noticed the show was over.

Edward gave a soft sigh, "You scared me for a second." He said the words so softly, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear, "Are you alright?" He repeated.

"Fine." I mumbled, leaning against the sofa. I felt his arms resting along the back and couldn't help laying my head against it. No matter how uneventful the last week had been, it still felt emotionally draining.

"You can talk to me." He started, clearly not believing me. It must have been hard to take my word for it. I wasn't exactly _okay_, but I was with him and that was enough for me. Being back in his house had both of us on alert, even though I'm sure he didn't want to admit to it. Neither did I.

But it had its repercussions.

One of them being that a floodgate of memories were drifting back to me. All random, unrelated. They came as dreams, they came as target responses. When I saw Bella drink Iced Tea the day we came to visit her at home, I had a memory of Mama in the kitchen, making a fuss about the women in Alabama having no idea how to make proper Raspberry Iced Tea. When Carlisle handed me my check that Monday, I had a brief flash to the night I left home - everyone asleep, a check bunched in my back pocket.

And whenever Edward touched me, I thought of the only other men that ever touched me the same way. One being my brief, first boyfriend, the other, James. The first year with James was a comfort. He was so much like Laurent, I thought at the time. But looking back, it registered that James perhaps was the odd man out. Laurent and Edward had a bit more in common.

I sighed.

"Jasper," I had forgotten where I was again, "Please talk to me."

What was there to talk about? Was it worth it to say his name again? To admit that he was still the common thread in every thought that went through my mind, even if he wasn't here? Edward didn't deserve that, "What did I miss?" I ignored his question, but I couldn't ignore the hurt look on his face at the change of subject. I stroked his lap lightly, apologizing as best I could without speaking a word of it.

"You mean, during your zoning?" He teased, but judging by the tightness in his eyes, I knew that he was still bothered by it, "An inside look on how ice cream is created and distributed, plus some interesting history." He answered, "You tired?" He tried again.

It was a safe question. I could answer it, "I am." I nodded, happy that a yawn came from my throat that exact moment.

"I think we both should call it in," Edward stretched next to me, "Alice is stopping by tomorrow with mom."

"What's the occasion?"

Edward managed to give me a wan smile, "There's never an occasion with Alice," He joked, but there was a tinge of bitterness, "She won't say, but they want to check up on you. Now that you're no longer required to go to Expecting Care along with the A.I.S. appointments, I think mom is becoming concerned."

I frowned at the thought, "Why would she?"

"Well," given the events that have occurred..." He didn't finish.

He didn't have to.

"With Alice, we'll need a lot of energy." I avoided the topic again. Edward didn't reply, but I could feel the agitation at my avoidance. He turned off the T.V and out of habit, helped me from the couch before slipping his hand in mine, guiding me to his bedroom. Sharing a bed with him was the only thing that put me at ease lately, until I felt asleep. His chest pressed against my back, and his hand defly massaging my stomach, he mumbled Good Night to me and I replied in same, sighing when his lips pressed against the nape of my neck.

I felt safe now.

But I knew when morning came, it would be another nightmare, another moment lost to my past. Another reminder that James was still out there.

But I was safe for _now._

**xXx**

_It was the eve of the Spring Dance. Laurent and I had been planning the last two weeks since he asked. In between talks of our night together, there were afternoons at his parents' house, enjoying the company of a very animated mother, whose foods rivaled my mama's There was not much to remember of his room, because most of our time was on his bed, spooning, kissing, touching. All this with his bedroom door open. Did his parents know? If so, it didn't seem like they minded at all._

_ We were so comfortable with each other. Although we hadn't shared the same touches in public, I didn't feel like I was hiding. There was something so special about sharing this with him. And once again, we found ourselves getting acquainted in my own room, laughing and talking between caresses and kisses. I had learned that his ear was a spot where given attention, he became puddy in my hands._

_ "Say it," I teased, pressing my lips to his ear and enjoying the shudder I recieved, "My mama's apple pie is better than any other you've tasted."_

_ "I-" He tried to argue. It was an on-going competition for us to see whose mother cooked the best of what dishes, "Jasper!" He gasped, when I didn't allow him to answer, nipping his ear._

_ I chuckled, loving to hear him submit. Laurent was usually dominate and initiated most things with me. This was the only time I had any control, yet he never seemed to mind. _

_ He groaned, hiding his head in my neck. There was a moment of shared silence between us, before he pulled away, "Fine." He grumbled, "But she has nothing on Maman's chocolate cake." he added with narrowed eyes. It was a challenge!_

_ I gasped in mock horror, sitting up, enjoying the view of him straddling my lap, "Take it back." I demanded. _

_ "Oh?" He shrugged, playing indifference, "Okay, then. If you say so. Your mother's apple pie is mediocre at best."_

_ "Wrong answer!" My arms darted up, tickling his skin through his thin shirt. We tumbled on the bed, rolling until I was on top, attacking each other, unable to control our laughter. _

_ We both heard the thundering of feet, coming up the stairs, but it didn't sink in on who it could be. Or why._

_ My door was thrown open. Our laughter died in our throats when we caught sight of my father, enraged, teal eyes moving between Laurent and I. Immediately I rolled off of my boyfriend, fear suddenly rising in me._

_ "You, boy," My father snarled at Laurent, "Out. Now!" He barked._

_ Laurent didn't appear scared, but he got up all the same, grabbing his school bag before turning to me._

_ He looked sorry._

_ His eyes then trained on my father's never leaving his gaze, until he was out of the room._

_ It was only us now. I panicked, but I couldn't understand why. What have I done? What made him so mad? Was there something the matter with Laurent. What did he do? This would be the first time they had ever met, but I was sure my mother had mentioned him before in passing even if I hadn't. _

_ My father stalked towards my bed and I felt myself cower as he neared. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulling me out of bed, tearing the fabric in the process. I had never seen him so angry and I had never been scared of him._

_ "What did I see?" He asked. There was a threat in there somewhere, telling me I had better answer right or else. _

_ I shook, my eyes stinging as I tried to answer, "N-nothing," I sounded so weak._

_ "Good." And like that, he let go of my shirt, turning away to leave my room._

_ I had no idea what just happened, but I knew one thing for sure - I couldn't speak to Laurent again._

**xXx**

I didn't sleep well, but I couldn't think on it at that moment. Like Edward warned, his sister entered the house, a smile on her face, followed by their mother who held me in a tight hug the moment she saw me before hugging Edward as well.

"Hey, mom," Edward pulled away from the hug, greeting his mother warmly. His eyes landed on his sister before he let out a rather warm greeting despite his obvious annoyance, "How are you doing, Alice?"

"Ah, I believe I should be asking that question." Alice spoke. She suddenly looked devious. She looked between me and her brother with a wide smile, "Glad to see all is well."

Esme sighed and with a roll of her eyes, she spoke, "Oh, honey, give the boys a break. The last few weeks have _not_ been easy." I suddenly noticed the grocery bag in her hand.

"You're telling _me_." Alice spoke up, dramatically sighing, "Hope has for some reason, took joy in excercising her vocal chords these last few days. The girl is never quiet."

"She's a baby, Alice." Edward responded, "They cry."

Alice waved her hands dismissively, "Yeah, well, it'd be nice if she did that when everyone was _awake_," She then sighed, "But she is nowhere as bad as Emmett. But damn, if she's close."

The three of us wore confused expressions, before she decided to elaborate, "The boys decided to invite themselves over-" Edward snorted, getting a glare from his sister, "They _claimed_ it was to give us a breather, but I think they just ran out of things to fuck on."

"Alice!" Esme chastised. Edward and I chuckled.

Alice didn't seem to notice her mother's scolding, "If I hear 'Deeper, Jacob, Deeper!' one more time, I'm throwing myself off a building." Edward only laughed harder.

"Oh, honestly!" Esme said, clearly not enjoying the visual. I'm sure it was just as bad as picturing her son and daughter in the same situation, "Alice Cullen, you help me with these in the kitchen. Now!" She ordered, but her tone was as gentle as ever. Alice obliged, still scowling over what she just recently revealed.

It took me awhile to register exactly what she had just said.

"Are Jacob and Emmett still fighting?" I asked.

Edward, who had been following his sister and Esme's departure into the kitchen with his eyes, turned to me, a frown now forming on his face, "No. They still have a bit to work out, but it's nothing like last week." He answered, "Why you ask?"

"I-" I didn't really know how to word it, "Emmett told me that he only let Jacob, um, top when they fought...?" Even repeating it, it didn't sound right. To my surprise, Edward laughed out. Did it sound that bad?

I gave him a moment to compose himself.

It took a minute or two.

"That's what he told me." I finally said.

"Emmett," Edward chuckled to himself. Clearly, there was something I didn't know, "Jasper, Em doesn't top as often as he would like you to think. Especially when he's in the dog house."

I was confused, "What do you mean?"

Edward sobered up a bit, as if something was sinking in, "When we were-" He watched me carefully as if weighing a choice, before continuing, "When we were dating, he preferred that I top. He said, and I quote, 'I liked being filled up by rods.'" He added with a wince.

I had nearly forgotten that they were together. That Emmett knew Edward intimately, moreso than I did. Something about that stung me.

And worse.

I hadn't even considered topping or bottoming. It was hard enough keeping thoughts of that magnitude out of my head. Edward was becoming more and more desirable as the days wore on.

"Did you like it?" I couldn't help but ask. It was better than asking if he missed their intimate relationship. God knows how bad I wanted the answer to that.

He seemed taken back, "Topping?" He stepped forward, instintively placing his hand on the small of my back. It was soothing, but I was aware that he did it for that exact reason. He must of read the look on my face, "Love, I don't mind either way. It's never about what I prefer, but about what makes my partner feel good. That alone satisfies me enough." How could he read me so easily? His lips pecked my cheek, before grazing my lips.

"Oh." I felt the onslaught of questions filling my mind. How do I compare to Emmett? Does he still want him? Are there still emotions shared between them? Was I as attractive as him? He pulled away from me, working circles on my back.

"You can ask me whatever you want," He offered. When I didn't say anything, he spoke, "In case you didn't know, you do things to me that no one has ever done before. I've never felt such a connection to someone," He started, "And although I've known Emmett in another aspect, our relationship, no matter what it was before, is nothing like what I have with you. Much more intense." He pecked my lips again.

"But how can you be so sure?" I asked, unable to stomach the idea of ever touching him that way and being a disappointment, "We've never..."

"Kissing you sets my body on fire, Jasper," Edward confirmed, "Imagine what it would be like when I finally have all of you."

My body shook in a violent shudder. God, he shouldn't have said that. I pressed into his kiss, deepening it, adding tongue, adding need, adding a want for him that I rarely ever allowed.

"Mmmph!" His muffled voice hummed into the kiss, but he responded positively, by pulling me closer, hands sliding down the curve of my back before resting on my backside. His tongue, ever coy and tempting, pushed its way into me, cautious in the route, but I was having none of it. I suckled hungerily and got the most desirable moan from Edward. A victorious joy surged in me.

Now if only I could feel his bare skin against mine...

"Darlings, would you mind help- oh!" I heard the exclaim of surprise from Esme. That seemed to snap me out of it. I pulled away immediately, panting as if I ran a mile, "Boys!" She seemed enthused.

"Sorry, Esme," I apologized, "I had no right to do that when Edward has company-"

"Oh, please!" She scoffed lightly, a bright smile on her face. She walked the rest of the way over to us, pulling me and Edward in a hug, "I'm so happy that you two realized just how good you are for each other."

"Mom," Edward whined like a little child.

"See?" Alice jeered from over Esme's shoulder, "I was right, mom. The moment Edward laid his eyes on Jasper, I couldn't get the picture of them two out of my head."

"That doesn't make you a prophet, Alice," Edward retorted, "It makes you a pervert."

Alice cackled, sticking out a small pink tongue, "Well, whatever," She said, pride evident in her tone, "Either way. I'm right."

Esme pulled away, giving us both a careful eye, "Now, before I so rudely interrupted - I was going to ask if you two wanted to help me set up in the kitchen. I want to get a headstart on dinner tonight."

There was a fuzzy warmth in my gut, a comfort I couldn't quite place. There were days like this, that I remembered. Days spent in the kitchen for 12 hours, preparing for meals. "I'd be glad to help." I volunteered.

"We can start with dessert first. Help me slice some apples?" She held out her hand, offering for me to take it. I did, without hesitation.

"And what am I doing, mother?" Edward teased, looking left out.

"Alice wanted to take her time at the Asian market, but I was having none of it. _You_, son, can go back out with her to get the actual ingredients for dinner."

"Wonderful." Edward grumbled, but was already making his way to the kitchen to update his younger sister.

Esme's eyes held a motherly warmth as she looked after her son, then turned to me, "What are we making?" I asked, feeling like a little boy again.

It shouldn't have surprised me when she cocked her head, catching a curl of my hair, before sweeping it back and spoke, "Apple pie."

**xXx**

_I found the check on my bed the afternoon I came home from work. I hadn't expected it and I wasn't sure what it meant, until I found out that my grandmother had a will. _

_ It was only a handful of a few thousand. Enough for what I had been planning the last year - to leave. It was why I got the job at the daycare. It was easy for my parents to believe I enjoyed the laughter of children. I was always a sensitive soul, my father once admitted, with no malice, just observation. There was never any malice about him, with the exception of two years before. _

_ My grandmother died the day after my seventeenth birthday, the day I was supposed to leave home. I made plans to stay behind for two weeks only to mourn, but the check on my bed only a week after her passing, the day after her funeral. _

_ Attached was a letter._

_ I didn't read it, because I knew who it was from and why._

_ Mama was different after dad kicked Laurent out of our house. Our conversations were never as heartfelt. She just wasn't the same woman. With my innocence and ignorance gone, so went the only person I was ever truly close to - my only friend. My father had returned as he was - distant, yet there. And two years passed, two years of me placing a name on what I was, realizing that I couldn't be it in a small town in Alabama. _

_ I tucked the check in my jeans pocket and crossed my room in a few strides, opening the closet to the already packed bag, that I had stuffed with clothes only 7 days before. By midnight, I was already sneaking back out, without a glance over my shoulder at the life I was leaving._

_ The check, a heavy weight in my pocket. I knew it was from mama, because deep down I knew she was aware of what I was. And I knew she wanted me as far away as possible. _

**xXx**

"Let me help with that," the arms were around my waist, grabbing at the dishes in the sink. I felt the warm puckering lips against the nape of my neck and leaned in to the touch. I couldn't remember much of dinner, but I knew it went well. Even through my daze, I could hear Alice's giggles and Esme's gentle voice drifting in. I had attempted to keep up in the conversation, but it was a feat I couldn't manage well. I hadn't taken any time to notice if they caught on or not. I had finally snapped to life after I realized I was the only one left at the table, other than Edward, finishing the last of the apple pie. I decided to put myself to use and clear the table and wash the dishes.

"Where did everyone go?" I asked over my shoulder.

"You didn't hear them say they were going outside?" He asked, "They're having coffee by the pool. Mom loves the summer weather out here."

"Oh." I felt his fingers, wet and suddy, move along mine.

"Where did you go back there?" He asked over the dull clatter of plates under water.

"I was thinking." I replied, vague as usual.

"You've been thinking a lot these last few days, sweetie." He pointed out, but didn't push past that. He hadn't said James name since that day. In fact, everyone had been keen on avoiding the subject and for that, I was extremely thankful.

"Thank you." I whispered after we had placed half the dishes in the drainer.

"For what, baby?" He replied, kissing the ticklish flesh along my neck.

"For not pressing," I responded, feeling a bit guilty that I could be this distant from him after everything that had happened, "And I'm sorry that I haven't been _here_."

"I wish you'd let me help." He pleaded silently.

"I'm starting to believe all I'm good to be around for is help." I felt him pull away completely from me. The idea that I may have hit the mark struck me as a bit frightening. I know he cared, but maybe he was starting to wonder...

Turn around for me, love?" He asked. I almost couldn't do it, face the truth, but I owed him a moment to be honest with me. I watched him shake off wetness from his hands before attempting to tame his hair as he thought to himself.

"You know, Rose didn't speak much the first few months after her pregnancy. She was actually a bit hostile and guarded and as you know _refused_ to speak to either Emmett and Jacob," He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the island counter, "And then she started speaking to you. Other than Alice, you're the only one to have made her smile in the last few months." He stared at his feet before speaking again, "I don't quite get how you got through to Emmett. You know how he is, unapologetic and not mindful of the damage he can do by just his words, no matter how big his heart is. Last week when I spoke to him, he brought up talking over everything to Jacob. Emmett doesn't _talk._ I've known this since I've met him and it was partially why I was so _pissed_ at him.

"Whatever you two talked about had him treating the situation differently." He added.

"He had already apologized to Jacob before we talked. I don't think I had anything to do with it." I frowned.

"You did," Edward chuckled, "trust me." He unfolded his arms, placing his flat palms on the counter, "Emmett had suggested Jacob moving in with Rose."

"What?"

"It's what started the fights," Edward explained, "Em just couldn't come out and say that he feared being a dad, that didn't agree that he was fit to be one, so instead he offered paying for a house for the two, so Hope could have a family as normal as it could be."

"But what about Emmett?" I asked. The suggestion was a foolish one. Did he not want to live with Jacob anymore?

"Yeah, like I said. Emmett isn't mindful," He sighed, "Jacob read it as something else. He thought Emmett was using the baby as an excuse to leave."

"Oh God." It was worse than Emmett made it out to be.

"Emmett, being the fool he was, convinced him that it was fear motivating him to make such foolish suggestions and they made up, until you caught them. And that sparked another problem."

"Was it me?" I asked, fearful that I did something wrong, "Honestly, I walked in on them. Even if it bothered me, it would have been my own fault for not being respectful."

"Emmett expresses that he is worried that there are things about him that wouldn't work well with a child, yet he has made no efforts to change. As you noticed, he didn't seem bothered that they were caught, even after knowing how you were when we first met you."

"But I'm fine now." I assured.

"I didn't want anyone pushing your limits."

"I understand, but neither you nor Jacob should place the blame on Emmett. That's who he is."

It was the closest thing to an argument we had. I was sure he'd be angry I was disagreeing with him, but he surprised me with a wide grin, "And this is why Emmett listens to you. No matter how well I know him, there's always a lack of understanding when it comes to our views. I guess that's one of the reasons why Jacob and I hit it off so well after I finally came around. It's hard for him as well."

"They fight a lot." It wasn't a question. Judging by how they were with each other, I knew that there was a lot of passion and intimacy between the two. And if it worked in their favor, I was sure it worked against them.

"They fight often, like normal couples, but their disputes are explosions rather than speed bumps." He smirked, "I'm happy you spoke to him."

"I didn't do anything."

"Love, just because you _see_ us helping you, doesn't mean your help isn't any less important. You being here changed a lot of things. Your help, if anything, is more of an impact because there isn't much you do to change the entire picture." His eyes swam with an intense determination, spoke to me, attempting to voice something he couldn't say.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, Jasper, what are you doing washing the dishes?" Alice's tinkle of a voice exclaimed, interrupting our conversation, "We go out for 5 minutes and Edward leaves you to play wife!" She scolded.

Edward gave her a bewildered look, before shaking his head. I laughed, turning back to the sink, "It's the least I can do being a guest in this house for so long and enjoying a meal you and Esme cooked."

"Pfft!" Alice snorted, stepping in next to me, "I order you to sit that butt in the living room." She left no room for argument, "Edward will get you something to drink." She gave a commanding glare to her brother who finally stirred behind me to head over to his fridge.

There was nothing else left to do, but walk to living room.

**xXx**

_I sat planted on his kitchen counter, him fitted between my legs._

_ "Now where were we?" He asked, pecking the skin over my jaw bone._

_ "We were making breakfast." I laughed when his lips grazed my ticklish flesh and gasped when his hands tightened around my waist. I could feel his desire pressing against my thigh and I squirmed, trying to break free. If he didn't stop, I'd lose all control._

_ "What about breakfast again?" He said with a smug note in his tone. _

_ "We can't." I tried to plead, moaning out when he nipped just under my ear, "If he walks in-"_

_ "He's entertained."_

_ "And if she wakes up-"_

_ "She had a long day. Daddy took her to Disneyland, remember?"_

_ "Edward!" I make the effort of containing any other cries, feeling him lift my shirt from over my head and press his hardness against me, "I need to - " I stammered. It's a futile effort. He ignored the cry, lifting my hips before sliding my boxers off, letting it drift on the tiled floor. _

_ "I haven't tasted you all week." He whispered against my ear, before kissing me in a heated need. Still prepped from his earlier play, he slipped right in, fully sheathed in me. Throwing my head back, I allowed the sounds to come out._

_ "Edward," I panted, "So g-good." I could feel the morning light dancing in, hear the birds from the open patio door and the pattering of feet on the stairs._

_ "Daddy, Daddy!" Edward doesn't move out of me. _

_ "Edward, he'll see us." I felt the urgent thrust and cried out, "Edward!"_

I shivered, jerking away, fearful to be caught. I blinked away the morning light and sat up in a flash, registering that it was the bright TV glare. Where was I? I could make out the empty glass on the coffee table, the low hum of whatever was on and the arms around my waist, gripping me tightly. I looked up, catching Edward's eyes, darker than I remembered.

My eyes widened in fear. It was a dream and was that really me screaming? "I was talking again, wasn't I?"

He let out a shaky breath, "You were." He sounded turned on. I whined, hiding my face in my hand and gasp when I felt the pressure of my hardness on my stomach.

"Ungh!" I cried out, leaning back, ceasing the pressure.

"Jasper?" The hold on my shoulder loosened.

"It's just, the dream..." I stammer, "It..." I'm not exactly sure how to finish that last part.

"Your body reacted to the dream?" He asked, getting a embarassed nod from me. He looked relieved, "That's normal, love."

"It was about..."

"Me?" I avoided eye contact when he said that that simple word, "It's okay, Jasper. I heard you say my name...amongst other things." He said, a hint of a smile in his tone. I looked up and sure enough, he was grinning.

"What did I say?"

"You were nervous someone would see us?" He seemed unsure about it, "And something about daddy taking someone to Disneyland." It shocked me to see his eyes swimming with glee.

I tried to hide my face, but he was quicker, holding my chin and keeping me in place, "I know it is absurd to say this, but I don't think you know how happy that makes me." He kissed me, nearly as passionately as he had in the dream and I moaned.

"Alice and Esme?" I asked when he finally pulled away.

"They went home an hour ago," He still had that smile on his face, "Don't worry, they didn't hear anything." He teased. His hand fell on my lap, stroking up as he planted kisses on my cheek and neck.

"Edward," I panted out, knowing where his fingers were going. It was hard to make out the impression I had on my stretch jeans, due to the swelling of my belly, but he could easily access it if he pleased. The affect on this body was painful, the roundness of my stomach pressing against my sensitive, engorged organ. Our lips met again, fervently adjusting to the intensitiy of the moment. I whined out against his mouth as he simultaneously moving his hand higher on my thigh and tonguing entrance into my mouth. His thumb, just under the tent in my pants, stroked teasingly getting a hiss of impatience from me. The world was a haze. All I could think of was him touching me, no matter the consequences.

"Touch me." I begged, a fire burning in my gut and erupting whenever he came a centimeter closer to the desired target.

"Jasper." He whispered against my lips and pulled away, falling on to his knees in front of the couch. I watched in awe as he leaned in between my legs, kissing along the swell in my belly, moving lower in a desperate haste. I threw my head back, trying not to focus on the nagging unease at the edge of mind. All I wanted was him.

The shrill ring of his cell phone broke through our haze. I felt him pull away, "No, Edward." I clawed blindly at empty air as he moved away to answer it.

"Hold on, love. It's Bella. She's due in a few days. Her water might have broke." There was a moment's silence before I heard him speaking into the phone, "Hey, Bella...Mike?"

He was on his feet instantly, listening with intent interest, "Is she-?" He didn't finish, hearing what Mike said on the other line, "And the baby?" His hands raked through his hair in distress. At that gesture, I felt panic rise in me.

"What is it?" My voice shook.

Edward sat next to me, resting a reassuring hand on my lap, "Did she lose a lot of blood?"

"What?" the fear heightened in me and I sat up straighter on the sofa.

"Okay." Edward answered into the phone, "I'll be there in the next half hour." He ended the call, pocketing his phone. I stared at him expectantly, waiting, "Baby, Bella is having some difficulties with the pregnancy. The baby...or her may not make it." He added in a weak voice.

**xXx**

**AN: Happy? Sad? Shocked? Bored? Let me know how you guys are digesting this. This chapter was pretty heavy with A Lot of factors to consider for our characters. Emmett bottoms, Jasper had a boyfriend in Alabama, Jasper and Edward are hot when they're horny...Take a deep breath ;)**

**There's more to reveal and come.**


	19. Twenty Six Weeks

**Author's Notes: **It's been a busy week. I expected to have this up days ago, but one bday party, a few new puppy problems and a 100 Monkeys show later and I was faced with the trouble of finishing a simple chapter. And it didn't help that this was a bit difficult to write out. I will try to respond to any inquiring reviews today, since I didn't have time or the physical energy to do it these last few days. I was trying to get this out as quick as possible.

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and it doesn't disappoint.

**Do Not Own Characters**

**xXx**

**Chapter Nineteen: 26 Weeks**

It was a wearing week and it showed the next Monday morning. Over the top of my journal, Carlisle had given me the oddest of looks, followed by an almost muted sigh. I was in more of a lost daze than I had ever been and I knew exactly when it started.

Edward had done his best to keep the bounding terror out of his voice, but clearly this was his best friend that could possibly lose her life. The drive to the hospital was silent as death and it terrified me, but what had me paralyzed in fear was the sight of a distraught older woman with bobbed golden locks sobbing against Mike.

For a breath of a second I thought she was my mother.

The waiting room was a different sound stadium altogether. There were hushed whispers of assurance, choked sobs, quivering sighs and the occassional sound of heavy footsteps, departing and returning. It was 6 hours later that we got the news of what had happened.

"Jasper, I'm going to need you to make an appointment with your A.I.S Doctor." Carlisle interrupted my train of thought. I felt my eyes bug at the idea. Carlisle had been more relieved than Edward and I about the appointments being put to an end. What made him change his mind?

"Why?" It came out like an aggressive belt, and I winced at the tone, though Carlisle seemed to expect it.

"There isn't much else I can do to see how your child is." He sighed, wrapping the cord of the stethoscope around his neck, before sitting back against the dining room chair. I could faintly make out the clinking of dishes in the sink as Edward washed away the remains of our breakfast. He hadn't spoke much since the hospital visit. Over 7 days of silence and missed touches.

"As much as I am against you going there for tests, they are still the profressionals when it comes to your body's operations. As a favor to me, son, can you make sure everything is okay?" He gave me a pleading look.

"Ever since Bella - " I gulped at her name. I made sure not to say it around Edward, yet I still felt guilty of letting the word pass my lips in Carlisle's company, "Everyone's been different." I let out a harsh whisper, "Are you sending me there because of what happened?" Carlisle took his time thinking on the answer.

"I can't deny that it's not one of the weighing reasons for my concerns," He sat up, a frown now marring his face, "I want to make sure you and your son are physically well before I can even argue a theory." I felt my face contort in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"It's been brought to my attention that you have been reflecting on your past these recent weeks." Carlisle brought up casually.

How did he know? "How could you-?" But I forgot. I talked in my sleep.

As if knowing what I was thinking, Carlisle spoke up quickly, "Please don't assume he tells me everything, but Edward had noticed your change in behavior two weeks ago. And he made some observations and weighed options before sharing."

"What about talking with me?" There was no anger, just pure confusion.

"He has asked you before. Do you not remember?" Carlisle asked, leaning in to catch my gaze, "You are very experienced in being evasive and my son would only push you so far."

I cursed myself for adding another problem on Edward's plate. It wasn't his fault that my mind was riddled with a dirty, incomplete past. And when he needed me the most, I completely checked out. It was hard staying in the moment when the sight of a mother in turmoil kept bringing me back home.

I agreed to make an appointment and by Wednesday, I was back in Dr. Denali's office. Edward accompanied me once again, our conversation to the office like those before it the entire week; shallow, small talk. My mind was already molding fears of his regret for kissing me, being snapped back to his senses after the emergency call about Bella.

As of right now, it appeared he was just going to the motions; no passion, no will. He hadn't touched his piano in days.

Edward waited in the building's front lobby and I couldn't find enough courage to question his offer to stay behind.

Dr. Denali stepped in, glasses perched on her small nose as she looked me over with furrowed brows, "Okay," She started, crossing her arms while leaning against her desk, "What brings you back in my office 2 and a half months early?"

I combed a hand nervously through my tight wound hair, "Doctor's concerns." That seemed to change her light teasing.

She stood at her full height, walking over to where I sat, "Jasper, what happened?"

Despite my better judgement, I told her everything, starting from James leaving me 5 months ago to his arrival and the last few days that followed. She kept silent throughout the discussion, but to my shock and concern, the look on her face only darkened. It was a worse sign than her speaking her disapproval. Out of everyone I was still in consistant contact with, Dr. Denali had been the one I knew the most and - somewhere in me - felt an unknown comfort with her. It was nothing close to the friendship I made with the Cullen family, but I knew that if there was anyone who could deal with giving me good advice without getting too involved with my life, it was her.

These thoughts of my mom, of James, of my past. Why hadn't it haunted me this much after the events were cut off? It was so easy to shut them out before, but now some form of a pandora box had been opened and here I was grasping at straws and potentially making it worse.

She gave me a moment to build on my fears before speaking up, "Jasper," She cleared her bangs from her eyes, "It has always been part of my knowledge that I knew so little about you. But, I personally believed that you just kept to yourself." She bit her lip nervously, something I've never seen her do, except in company to Carlisle, "And I always knew James better - at least I _thought_ I did." She grumbled under her breath.

She stepped back, giving herself room to pace. It was such a comfort to see her so _human_. The A.I.S Doctors and Scientists were what appeared to be an entity more than a group of individuals. I had seen them in the halls, blank faces, hard eyes. My first time visiting with James, it felt like being a child at an adult event. I had felt inadaquate, weak and James had functioned amongst them so well. He knew how to get his way without doing much on his part and when he showed me to my personal Doctor, I assumed she was like the rest. I had let them converse, him schedule everything, be informed on procedures. I couldn't even say I listened much. Looking back, I guess I was in a haze even then.

In fact, the last few months had been a series of unveiling events, my eyes seeing the world in a clearer and sharper image and I knew Edward was a big part of that.

"Lord, I'm afraid I'm a part of your dilemma here." finally spoke, turning to me with bewildered eyes. I couldn't see how she was, "You see Jasper, I was already aware that James left you. In fact, I knew the _night_ he did."

I frowned, "What?" My voice came out like a croak.

"Okay, I need to sit down." My doctor suddenly looked dizzy. She took a seat next to me on the couch, hands in lap, "He called me that night." She stared at me, waiting for a reaction. There wasn't much I could muster besides another dose of paralyzed fear, "He wouldn't tell me where he was going or why. He just gave me a contact e-mail and told me to contact him every week with your health and visits." She said slowly.

"Oh God," I finally let out. Was this how he knew to come to Edward's, "Did you tell him about-?"

Dr. Denali suddenly looked guilty, "In all honesty Jasper, I thought Dr. Cullen was a friend and his son - well, I couldn't piece that together _exactly_ at first, but I did inform James. I never implied that there was anything between you two, though clearly there is." And there she frowned. She didn't have to tell me what she was thinking. Edward clearly wasn't with us at the moment.

"W-will you tell him what I told you?" I stammered, unsure now if trusting her was wise.

"Lord no!" She seemed suddenly angry, "If I would've known I was a pawn to spy on you, Jasper, I wouldn't have agreed to his request. I confused concern with a possessive hand and for that I am sorry," Then with an aggressive shake of her head, "Why he would leave you like this in the first place, is beyond me. I should have been the wiser."

"As should I." I added darkly.

"Well, there's no use blaming ourselves for someone else's shortcomings," She stood on her feet again, "It's my right to look out for my patients. Jasper, I like you. You're a good guy doing the best you can with what you have. I won't tell James about this appointment, or anything else for that matter and you have my personal information if you desire it. But as for now, let me be a Doctor and see if you and your son are healthy."

"Thank you."

**xXx**

"Good God Almighty!" I felt myself jerk in the passenger side of the car, "That _fucker! _-Oh, sorry, Babe." Emmett apologized, pulling me upright in the seat.

"It's alright."

"I really could kill him," Emmett growled, "And you sure you can trust this broad?" Emmett gave me a skeptical look, "I mean, she's the Russian on American soil in this situation."

I shot him a perplexed look, "What?"

"She's the spy!" He added with a roll of his eyes.

"I think I can trust her."

"You _think_?" He asked, but didn't press more when I expressed that I clearly wouldn't waver trust with her just yet, "Well, damn, how did Edward take it?"

I suppose this was the Million Dollar Question for Emmett. I hated to disappoint him, "I didn't tell him."

"_What?_" The car jerked again and I fell onto his broad shoulders, "Sorry, Blondie - What the fuck is wrong with you? He's the first person you tell."

"He has too much on his plate right now."

"Like what?" When I pointed to my stomach, he got the picture, "I understand what happened with Bella is fucked up, but he needs to get over it."

"Emmett-"

"Babe, it's reality. It's not like she's dead," I took in a sharp breath at the word, "Everything's fine."

"Bella and him are close."

Emmett grimaced, shaking his head, "They are, but I can tell you that isn't what he's only upset about."

"What do you mean?"

"Clearly, Edward has had his fill on pregnant people dying." Emmett was right. Why didn't I see this? I groaned, feeling like a fool for being so selfish that he had temporarily checked out, especially when I was in the same boat. It appeared that I wasn't the only person living in my past.

"You need to fix that shit." Emmett suggested.

"I want to talk it out with him, but I just don't know how to bring up that subject without him getting upset."

He snorted, "Don't talk it out with him, fuck it out."

"I don't think that'll be productive."

"It is. Trust me," He smirked, "My first year with Jacob, I was fresh out of college, looking for a job. I don't function right if I'm not making money. I was a bit of an ass and I wasn't giving it either. But one day, I came home and found Jacob in an interesting predicament. Fuck, the things that boy can do with Strawberry Whopper malt balls." He turned into a quiet neighborhood, "Don't take this the wrong way, but Edward is used to being wrapped up in himself while being reclusive and he can forget there are others waiting for him to snap out of it. And the best way to give him the wake up call is to suck his dick." He braked in front of a small cottage house.

"I don't think it'll work in this case." I admitted, "The night we got the call about Bella, I think something was going to happen with us."

A very wide grin spread on Emmett's lips, causing his dimples to deepen into little bowls of flesh, "Are you telling me he was going to fill your ass?"

My skin felt warm and hot, "H-he was touching me, that's all."

"Where?" Emmett suddenly looked like a giddy child.

"It doesn't matter." I stammered, "Maybe thinking about Alec gave him second thoughts-" At that, Emmett's eyebrows shot up, "What?"

"You're kidding me, right?" He didn't wait for an answer, "That boy is head over heels with you. I've never seen him this way ever before."

"I don't know, Emmett."

"I know you don't. If you did, you'd give it up so quick, his head would spin." He cackled.

"Sex won't solve this."

Emmett leaned across the seat, merely a few inches from me. His brown eyes sparkled as he held that breathtaking smile, "Sex can do wonders, Blondie. Trust me."

**xXx**

With Edward taking a last minute trip to his studio in Burbank, Emmett volunteered to drop me off at Bella's. That humid Thursday afternoon without Edward was welcoming and yet disconcerting. Like I explained to Emmett, I hadn't spoken a word of what happened to Edward. He had taken me to his home that night and disappeared in the library only to come out when I was already in bed. Our sleeping arrangements had been the same, with the exception of no talking. I tried my best to give him room, curling myself at the end of the bed as the baby relentlessly kicked my insides. The nights were difficult and the mornings worse, considering the new problem sprouting up, pressing against my stomach and causing me unfathomed pain. I usually waited until Edward slipped out of bed first before I ran to the bottom floor to take a cold shower in the guest bathroom. And when I stepped out, he was locked in his home studio, but no sounds ever came out. Looking back on the passing days after the conversation with Emmett had me thinking about just _how_ _much_ was on Edward's mind.

But unfortunately none of it mattered then.

I was greeted by a rather chipper older woman, one I recognized from the hospital the previous week in a more somber mood. I was happy to see that with a smile on her face, she looked much like her son, who stood a few feet behind.

"Hey Jasper," He greeted, "You just missed Alice and Rosie." He gestured for me to step inside, but his mom blocked me from entering.

"Well, look at this, Mikey." She said in a high pitched voice, "What is going on there?" She pointed to the swell in my stomach. My palm rested just above my belly button at the sudden attention. I could just make out Mike rolling his eyes in annoyance before groaning.

"Mom, let Jasper in, please," He pushed the door open wider as if that would allow me to bypass his mother without contact.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Newton," I greeted politely, "Um, I suppose this-" I pointed to my belly, "would be my son." her smile fell as a look of confusion took over her face.

"You're...pregnant?" She asked, clearly needing confirmation again.

"I am."

She cocked her head, "I didn't know this was a popular thing in LA," She turned to speak to her son, "I assumed only those gays on TV would do such a thing." She said with a tinkle of a laugh. I had been prepared for the reaction I would get from outiders since before being fertilized. There were still a mass of people against gay marriage and gay couples having children even after science and a more progressive society had pushed rights forward in bounds. I occasionally gotten weird stares and once in a while a look of disgust from older men and women, but it wasn't until that moment that I was subjected to someone talking to me about it and in a rather demeaning way.

She backed away from me, suddenly taking interest in her son, "Is is legal back home, Mike? Good dear, imagine your father's reaction to this sight." Her laugh carried and hung in the house. Mike gave me an apologetic look.

"Come in, Jasper," He stepped forward, resting his arm around my shoulder, "I'm sorry about my, mother. My family is from a small town and not to mention filled with self-obsessed fools who can't handle a little difference." He spoke quietly as his mother trailed into the kitchen, "I'm afraid my mother falls into that category."

"I've prepared myself to negative reactions about my pregnancy."

"You shouldn't have to." He said sadly, "Having a child is a beautiful thing, no matter if its a man or woman carrying." I stared up into what were usual smiling eyes, now tired and sad, "Bella has been waiting for you."

**xXx**

Her hair fell over one shoulder in a loose ponytail. Perched on her lap was a book, but it didn't appear that she was reading it. There was a tray balanced on wooden legs a few inches down over her knees, with unfinished tomato soup and tea that seemed to have gone cold laid out on it. I stepped into the bedroom, noticing the vanity mirror, the tall wooden dresser across from the bed and the mounted television on the wall, muted on some cooking show. Her brown eyes lifted up to catch whatever the host of the show was doing before drifting back to her book. The door creaked when I took another step inside.

She let out an exasperated sigh, "Really, I'm fine. In fact, I'd _prefer_ to be left alone."

"It's me." I spoke quietly and she looked up from her book, her thin face brightening just a bit.

"Oh, Jasper!" She motioned me over, "Sorry for that. Mike's mother has been driving me _insane_ these last few days."

"I can imagine." I replied, taking a seat at the corner of her bed, "How are you?"

Bella rolled her eyes and gave me a warm smile, "People really need to stop asking that. I've already had Carlisle, Esme, Tanya, Alice _and_ Rose in here this morning." She counted on her fingers, "Mike's dad came for a day earlier this week, unfortunately he didn't take his wife." She added darkly.

"Em said he and Jake came yesterday afternoon before they picked me up." I watched as she snickered and nodded.

"Yeah, they really had Mike's mom going nuts. Em can like _sense_ people like her miles away, so of course, he found ways of getting intimate with Jacob," She gave a tiny laugh, a hand over her stomach as if willing herself not to get too out of hand due to pain, "You should have seen Em when she came in with crackers. 'Mm, crackers. My favorite salty delight, second to cum.'" She snorted, "That woman high tailed it out of here."

It was expected of Emmett to act up in the wrong company, "Well, she doesn't seem to have gotten the hint."

Bella scowled, "Yeah, she was already back on her toes when Edward came in hours after the boys. She made some comment about Edward being too close to me for comfort when he gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. Edward just replied with 'She's not my type.' and the woman had the audacity to say 'Well, I hope it isn't boys. There's too much of them in LA.' and you know Edward, all polite. 'I'm sorry to disappoint you.'" She shook her head, staring at the TV for a moment.

I had no idea Edward had visited her the night before, seeing how Emmett and Jacob invited me over for a movie night that afternoon after visiting Bella. I knew by the looks Jacob gave me, that he was concerned about how things were going between us. Edward hadn't even kissed me goodbye when I left. Both boys exchanged looks but hadn't said anything. It was as if he was slipping away from me and people were beginning to notice. So I fought the urge to let my emotions register on my face.

"So how long until you're back on your feet?" I asked, hoping to keep an air of lightness to my tone.

"The Doctor said that with my recovery, it should be in about two weeks. Hopefully under my husband's care, not anyone else's. I really don't like being useless like this."

"You're not useless." I argued, "If you need anything, you know everyone would be more than happy to help." A small frown marred her features, "Hey, how's Eric?" I hoped the name would cheer her up and it did just exactly that.

"He's an angel." She whispered, "Like a tiny miracle." She sighed, "Did you see him yet?" That was the best news of the night at the hospital. Their son was alive - _Eric_ was alive.

"No," I shook my head, "I assumed he was sleeping."

"Mike put him in the nursery an hour ago." She noted, "It's a pain not to get up and check on him."

"How is he?" I couldn't help my curiosity. After hearing that both her and her baby survived that night, all that I could feel was relief. There wasn't much else I could take in that night and from then on, I didn't want to be reminded of what was almost lost.

"He's fine; healthy." she confirmed, "I can say I've never been fit for being pregnant. I miscarried twice with my first husband and for the longest time Mike and I tried and nothing happened, but we were so stubborn..." She shook her head, "Mike made it clear that if we felt so strongly for another child, he'd carry it." She said with a small chuckle.

I imagined Bella losing two children before Eric and my heart clenched painfully in my chest, "You never told me you miscarried."

She nodded sadly, "Yeah, it was why Tyler left me. He said being barren made me worthless." She shook her head, "And I was young and stupid enough to believe him. I mean it was part of why I tried so hard with Mike, even when he said that he'd love me without one."

"He _does_ loves you." I commented with a small smile. It showed in everything he did for her. I never wanted to remember the look in his eyes that night. His face pale, a look of loss already there. He barely spoken and when doing so, only to comfort his mom who seemed unreasonably beside herself. But Bella wasn't everything to _her_.

She snorted, "He loves my cooking."

**xXx**

I was dropped off by Mike, who seemed just a little too happy to leave his mother behind for 10 minutes. He apologized for her behavior once again before pulling up to the house.

Having Bella tell me what happened gave me a higher respect for him. He seemed to be holding himself together so well, despite her condition and the stress he was enduring. I stepped inside to a silent house, deciding what to do. My mind ran with the sight of Mike's mom, her face so much like my own mother's, back to Bella and her telling of that night of strong pains before being taken to the hospital, only to be told her baby was in distress.

The images of a son and mother swirled in broken images behind my lids as I blindly walked to the living room sofa. Bella looked so proud speaking about Eric and despite her reaction to my company, Mike's mother had the same look in her eyes as well whenever she looked at her son. It was a universal love - one I've seen only in the eyes of two other people, one being my own mother.

I wanted to speak to her.

Dr. Denali wasn't enough. Esme wasn't enough. I missed summers on our porch, laughing about insignificant things, that mattered so little, but we enjoyed those moments together so much that it became significant to us.

That love wasn't there anymore.

But why didn't I believe this _now?_

There was a shuffling noise behind me as I tried my best to stand at full height, "Love?" I forgot how much that name made me feel, "Speak to me, Jasper."

"Yes," I panted, suddenly realizing I was out of breath, "Did you call me?"

"Baby, sit for me, okay?" I felt his cool hand in my own before I was guided to the couch. I sat next to him, our thighs touching, but it wasn't enough. I let my upper body weight fall into him, my shoulder to his chest as his arms wrapped around me, "You alright?"

"I've been thinking too much." I sighed, tucking my face against his shirt. I could feel the heat from his skin. It calmed me down at least for the moment.

"You should hate me." He interrupted my thoughts. I pulled back to meet his eyes.

"Why would I?" I asked and that only appeared to make him upset. His green eyes dimmed in light, his lips pulling in a frown.

"The way I've been acting. I got scared and the first thing I do is pull away from you. I promised myself I would never do this."

"Edward," I started, ceasing contact with him, "I understand that with what happened to Bella, it would bring up what happened to Alec-"

"Jasper," He cut me off, guilt in his eyes, but I couldn't let him deny it. If this was why he wouldn't kiss me or touch me or talk to me, I understood. As someone who was currently living and finding it hard to leave his own past, I understood.

How could I be jealous of someone whose life ended such a way?

"It's okay, Edward," I could prove it was okay to myself eventually, "I know you still love him."

"No," The guilt in his eyes were suddenly that of disappointment, "Jasper, I love-" He bit back his words, "I thought about us."

"You changed you mind." I clarified and he shook his head.

"No, baby, I _fucking_ freaked out!" He was suddenly on his feet, pacing back and forth, almost making me dizzy, "I sat there in that fucking hospital and I stupidly thought about whether or not I could do this again. What if something happened to you and I was helpless just like-" And at this, he stopped to look at me, his emerald eyes shimmering with unshed tears, "And I thought the only way I could do to keep this from happening is pulling away entirely, pulling out of this fucking happy vaccuum I'm in whenever I'm around you. You really should hate me Jasper."

I sat there, trying to digest what he said, but I completely understood what he did ddespite hoe much it hurt, "I'm not," I shook my head, "In fact, I'd understand if you were upset with me. I haven't been honest with you, I haven't told you what's been bothering me. I owe you that." I muttered, clutching my pants with tight fists.

I felt the couch fall under a weight, before his hand was turning my face in his direction, "We're haunted by our pasts. These _ghosts_ of situations -" He shook his head, "Love, when you left yesterday, I missed you, in fact, I realized I missed you the entire week. If you came back today and said you couldn't do this, I'd understand. I'm a mess. I know you have a haunted past as well, but you've handled yourself. You haven't ran, _I _did. I _need_ you to understand that I care about you so much and I'm trying to exercise what's possessed me this last decade."

I couldn't help responding to the pain in his eyes. My hand lifted, cupping his cheek. He leaned in, his eyes fluttering close, "This keeps happening," I whispered, "One of us runs when our pasts sprout up."

"Well," He smirked, "We've always had this in common," His expression hardened, "But I can't run away from this. I can't stomach a night without you. I tortured myself when I didn't touch you." As he said that, his hands trailed against the curve of my neck, his fingers wrapping delicately around my skin.

"I thought that maybe you regretted - " I stammered and he shook his head at that.

"I don't regret a moment touching you," He sealed his words, leaning in to peck just where his fingers tickled my skin. A silent gasp squeaked out of me in surprise. A surge of fire and crackling energy erupted between us right at this contact, "You're irresistable in everyway, love. I don't know why this fact escaped me even for a moment." His warm lips met the curve of my jaw, before trailing to my lips.

"E-Edward-" I whimpered.

"Do you forgive me?" He pecked my lips gently.

"I was never upset with you." He simply sighed against my mouth, pulling away to meet my gaze.

His eyes searched my own as if trying to piece something together, when he opened his mouth, I expected him to question my answer, or perhaps doubt it. He surprised me.

"I love you."

**xXx**

It was a whirlwind of emotion.

I didn't say it first.

I didn't have to put myself out there for him to say it.

And in no way did I expect it. God knows I didn't expect it.

His touch said so much more. That night he ran me a bath, laying out a big towel, pajama bottoms and robe. And like a gentleman, he stepped out of the bedroom to give me privacy. I took a long, quiet bath, Edward's compositions as my company. I didn't know how much time had passed, but the water cooled, and the suds that Edward so humorously added to the water died away. I carefully stood on my feet, grabbing the towel he had placed at the lip of the big tub. I didn't hear him come in.

"I brought up dinner." He said softly from the wide arch leading to his bedroom.

I felt flattered knowing that he was making up for the recent days, but it really wasn't necessary. I had messed up as well, "Sug, you didn't have to make dinner." I lazily wrapped the towel around my waist, surprised by my simple unabashed response to him standing before me as I was nude.

"Baby," He warned, making an effort to cross the bathroom before I stepped out of the tub, "Be careful." He held my elbow in his open palm, helping me out, before walking to his bathroom cabinet to get a few items.

"What are you doing?" I asked, noticing how he fumbled with a few objects.

"Taking care of you like I'm supposed to," He mumbled, "Take a seat on the bed, sweetie. The food is waiting." I did as he said, completely amused by his antics.

He came in the room, carrying my pajama bottoms and robe and what looked to be certain types of lotion. I kinked an eyebrow but didn't say anything as he plopped everything on the bed next to the tray, evenly balanced on the bed - it was a pleasant reminder of earlier that afternoon, Bella and our hour long conversation and... Emmett.

It had completely slipped my mind that I confessed to him about my conversation with Dr. Denali. Just for a second, my moment with Edward was marred, until he looked up at me with admiring eyes.

"You're not hungry?" He asked.

"Oh," I looked over to the tray, catching sight of a bowl of what appeared to be assorted, sliced fruits and a toasted bagel, "Sug," I couldn't help but laugh, "That looks more like breakfast."

He grumbled under his breath, "Don't make fun," I could make out his lips forming into a small smirk, "I told you I wasn't much of a cook." He handed me the blue terry cloth robe. I slipped my arms into it, allowing my towel to slip off me as I attempted to close it around my body.

I looked up to to say something, but I caught his eyes on the sliver of exposed skin from the open robe, "E-edward?" His eyes, clouded with lust came up to meet mine.

"Eat some of your dinner, baby," He offered, "And I'll make up this week to you." I did just that as he excused himself to take a quick shower. I heard the familiar melodic rush of water from the godly shower and minced on grapes and sliced watermelon as I coated the blueberry bagel with the offered block of cream cheese. As I ate, my mind drifted to Edward's words earlier. I wasn't sure how to digest it. I couldn't say it came out of nowhere. He was attentive, he took care of me when he had no reason to and the affection he had for my son - I couldn't understand where this was coming from, yet I couldn't deny that I've never seen love in his eyes. I just been that intent on believing there was nothing he could feel for me. And even then as I sat there eating the dinner he prepared, I was foolish yet again to doubt the legitamacy of his feelings. Could he love me today and hate me tomorrow? Especially after knowing everything I kept from him? My past, my thoughts, Dr. Denali's news.

The comfort of the pattering water stopped and I was snapped out of my thoughts, glancing up to see the grapes and watermelon slices were gone. All that was left were pears and apples. I grimaced and decided to take a bite out of my bagel. After finishing the half of it, I glanced over the assortment of bottles Edward had on the bed and nearly choked on the last of the toasted bagel.

They were massaging oils. I frowned and glanced up to catch Edward once again standing in the doorway of the bathroom, glancing at me in the same colored robe. His wet hair was a darkened maroon shade in the dim light. He raked a hand through it and gave me a sheepish smile, "Hey, baby. Guess you saw the massaging oils," He bit his lip, "It was a gag present from Emmett last Christmas. I thought I'd never have a chance to use it." He lowered his eyes before glancing at me through his lashes. My breath automatically hitched in my throat. The night caught up with me.

There he was standing there in just a robe, as was I, there was a meal in bed, a bubble bath and a massage...

"Sug," He felt a grateful smile spread over my lips, "Are you wooing me?" He gave me an alluring crooked smile. I couldn't keep my place on the bed. I stood on my feet, aware that my robe was partially open and made my way over to him, "I told you that I wasn't upset. If there was anything you wanted from me," I added with as much courage as I could muster, sliding my hand under the flap of his robe, feeling the hard muscle on his chest, "I'd give it to you." I heard him take in a sharp breath and my body _burned_ at the response. I wanted him to finish what he couldn't a week before.

"I want us to start over," He pecked my lips chastely, "I want you to relax tonight," The following kiss was deeper, words behind his touch, "And tomorrow we can say whatever we need to."

"I want that too." I closed in for another kiss, appreciating his reaction. His hands were instantly on my hips, pinching gingerly before kneading my flesh under the robe. Our lips were parted, wet muscles working and reconnecting with the other, "Mmm, Sug." I panted and Edward moaned, pressing himself against my belly. He guided me backwards towards the bed until my thighs hit the mattress and we stood for moments more, our touches getting more desperate and needy.

"Lay on the bed for me, love." He ordered softly. I obliged with a shaky moan sitting on the bed, before sliding back against the head board, my legs out before me. Edward moved the tray onto the floor before climbing on the bed next to me. He clapped his hands together enthusiatically before picking up one of the bottles, popping the cap and squirting it on his hand. Just as soon as he leaned over my legs, I smelt a soothing aroma of sea and coconuts.

"Smells good, " I drawled, feeling his fingers tickling along my calf.

"It's called "Hawaii Night"," I heard the smile in his voice, even though I couldn't see it with his bowed head, intently looking at what he was doing, "It's supposed to make you feel like you're on your honeymoon in a villa or something."

"I much prefer this." I replied honestly, loving how his long, fingers expertly played my muscles like the keys on his piano. My right leg was first, then my thigh. He was careful to keep from moving too high despite my disappointment. The mood had shifted between us in passing hour. It started out as a comfortable silence, me allowing him to do as he pleased if it made him happy.

He rolled up the robe's sleeves next, working my arm muscles, before sliding the robe passed my shoulders, so he could massage my neck and upper back. Half my body was exposed, my back to him as he continued his ministrations. I looked over my shoulder at him, catching the darkened shade of green as he stared back at me.

"You're so beautiful, Jasper." He whispered, pecking my lips. I got a whiff of one of the new scents, "Vanilla Musk."

"I'm not used to hearing things like that." I answered, feeling my cheeks warm. My mother had occasionally said I was handsome and there were a few times James said I was sexy, but that was all. No one ever stared at me the way he did or said the word like _that_ to me. His fingers hooked under the cloth, tugging it gingerly before it sagged down to my elbows. His mouth followed, tracing a line down my spine.

"I'll make sure you will," He said in between butterfly kissed, "If you want me to."

"I do." I panted, all to willing to agree to anything he needed me to. I _craved_ the affection from him, "I want you, Edward." I admitted just as his fingers held my waist, so he could press me against his lips.

"I want you so much." He pulled away, just enough to push the bottles aside, "Can you face me, love?" I turned on my knees, meeting his eyes. My body reacted quickly, "_Fuck!"_ He gasped and what followed had me by surprise. I felt his palm on the curve of my stomach and he made his way own my chest, giving me lusty kisses before coating the curve of my stomach with his tongue.

"Ungh!" I gasped, unable to digest just what he was doing. Was I supposed to be this turned on by the gesture? I leaned back against the headboard, giving him access to me as he opened my robe more, revealing all of me. I bit back a protest, knowing my uncertainty was an automated fear. His drying locks, tickled my stomach as he dipped lower, kissing my hip bone. I couldn't see anything in my position. My hips bucked off the bed, desiring his touch, but wanting to see him even more, so my hand fisted his hair, pulling him up and away from my body. I was finally able to see his face, his expression wounded.

"I can't see you." I clarified, unable to help the pout that appeared on my face.

His face instantly brightened, "I want to make you feel good." He whined like a small child.

"You are." I pulled him up the length of my body before we met in another frenzied kiss. He sat back, reaching over me to grab one of the massaging oil bottles. He popped the cap open with expert ease and allowed a nickel sized puddle in his palm, "I don't need another massage, Sug. I'm fine."

He smirked, kissing my collarbone, before gently nipping the sensitive flesh there, "I think I missed a spot." Before I could ask where, he kissed me as a distraction before his hands tickled my arousal that was uncomfortably pressed against my stomach.

My body hummed with delight and I threw my head back as I relished the sensation. How could I forget this? The shock shooting to my toes, the g-force feeling in my gut? Or had I felt this at all? He was simply touching me with his hands yet it felt so...

"G-good!" I cried out, just as he worked his hands in a rhythm, my hard on already slick with the oil. He kept up his teasing kisses along my cheeks, eyelids and nose, tugging me with little friction in efforts to hold me from an orgasm. I felt it everywhere, my skin burning and crackling to life as he gave me a delightful torture.

"I love you." He chanted into my flesh, as if inscribing it in as much places as possible, "I need you." And his thumb teased and circled the head of my arousal, his fist tightened in a pulsing response to the throb in me, before he increased pace, before his lips were suddenly on my nipples and his tongue flickered against it.

"Edward!" I cried in miserable defeat as my orgasm hit me in a force I wasn't familiar with. Edward didn't let up until I was completely slack in his grip. He showered my damp brow in kisses before relaxing next to me.

"You okay, honey?" He asked after a moment of silence. I hadn't noticed I was shaking until he held me against him.

"I-I never felt that - Edward, I-" I stammered, unsure how to verbalize anything I felt, "I wanted that so much, I hadn't realized..." And I did. His touch was really what I missed and now that I had it, it was like the last few days never happened. In fact, I wasn't sure I could remember them. All I could see was him, so relaxed and happy next to me.

"Me too, my love." He helped me out of my robe as well as unclothing himself, before guiding us under the blanket of the bed. I gasped, feeling him spoon up behind me, the warmth of his arousal against my back.

"Edward," I reached back blindly, attempting to fin his erection and return the favor.

"Shh," He hushed, reading my mind, "This night isn't about me."

My back molded against his body as he held me, never ceasing to stop his gentle along my stomach where the baby shfited. We were silent for what felt like hours, enjoying each other's company. The pressure of darkness was like a blanket and for the first time in Edward's arms, I felt his genuine love and accepted it without second guessing his words. My eyes drifted close, my body heavy with exhaustion from the day.

"I love you." The caress of his voice lulled me deeper into sleep.

I hummed in response, too tired to say anything, or perhaps not ready to.

**xXx**

**AN: Alright readers, I'm ready for what you have to say. Didn't expect that last bit? Or did you? I know many readers are sick of the tug and war with the boys and as many of you know, Jasper has trust issues, but we never covered the _issues_ our dear boy Edward may have. Afraid to say that this isn't the last of it. In fact, this chapter was intentionally written out so you could know just what our dear boy is capable of – the bad and the deliciously good. ;)** **And of course, those that were curious about Bella. I won't lie, there was an internal debate going on – do I kill the baby or nay? But since many of you showed concern, I did not. Please don't think I'm ruthless, but I needed a trigger for Edward as well as Jasper (which will be discussed in the future chapter). Okay, long Authore's Note done. Tell me what you think so far!**


	20. Twenty Nine Weeks

**Author's Notes: **I know there are a few of you that want to sacrifice me like a goat and I truly understand. What I can say came from this absurd wait is an Outtake for "Expecting" called "Awaiting" with lots of rich history (and sex) of Edward, Jasper, Jacob and Jasper's history, future and present. I posted up the first snippet of story a few days ago. It actually REALLY helps when I'm trying to write out a chapter for Expecting. Gets my mind going.

Another thing that came out of my writer's block...I started a follow-up shot for **Juicy** and **Afterlife**. Expect to see those sometime later.

This chapter took a lot of effort to work out and I really have no idea why. It's been a terrible writer's block to overcome, but I hope it was worth the wait.

and without farther ado...

**Do Not Own Characters**

**xXx**

**Chapter Twenty: 29 Weeks**

"Fuck, right there!"

I grunted, turning on my side.

"I'm gonna come!"

My face, wrinkled in annoyance, only relaxing when I felt the familiar warmth of fingers threading through my hair. There was an agitated sigh, before I felt nails scratch my skull in a deft massage. My eyes blinked open and I sat up slightly on my elbow, looking up at the dishevled hair and tired, emerald eyes.

"Hey, love." I sheepishly smiled, allowing my head to hit the pillow again. I groaned, feeling the pressure in my stomach. His hands were on my belly immediately, "How is he?"

"It's been hard sleeping." My sigh was cut short by a yawn, "And with Jacob and Emmett," I chuckled, hearing the grunts in the next room, "I can barely close my eyes." Edward grumbled, looking more bothered than I felt about my situation.

"They can't _fucking_ give it a break, can they?" I got up, noticing him rise off the bed.

"Sug, don't," I pleaded, "It's there house."

"But they promised..."

"I spoken with Emmett about this, I don't mind," I took his hand, weaving our fingers and tugging him back towards me, so he could sit down again, "Really, I don't. I'm actually happy someone around here is getting what they want." I added slyly, noticing how he looked away. I had been trying the last three weeks to take our touches a bit farther. My body had been on fire ever since my orgasm from his 'massage', but as if I was something fragile, Edward kept his skillful hands to himself. He began working again, this time on the movie that Alice had nearly been going crazy about. It was taking much of his time and appeared to be tiring him out, but he was happy and well too distracted from touching me to release anytime soon.

But to say he didn't show his affections would be a selfish remark.

My days were spent with Jacob and Emmett and my nights and a little of my mornings with Edward. He didn't waste a moment, laying with me, giving me the nightly massages - although none as exstensive as before - and tending to any aches and pains I was getting in my ankles or back.

With a distracted frown, Edward pulled his hand away, tugging the roots of his hair, "Sorry I'm late. I've been prepping for the movie," He bit his lip as if clearly upset about something, "Have you eaten?"

I slid along the bed until I was right next to him. Placing a hand against the small of his back, "I'm not hungry," I said in a small whisper. The noises in the master bedroom had died down, so there was only the silence between us, "Have _you_ been sleeping or eating?"

He gave me a wan smile, ignoring my question, "I'll tell the boys that I'm taking you home." He gave me a chaste kiss, before getting up and leaving the room.

I watched his back with a frown, not understanding what just happened.

**xXx**

"You don't have to drop me off tomorrow." I suggested, already in my pajama bottoms and in bed. I felt as tired as Edward looked, "Em said he'll pick me up so you can sleep in."

"That's nice of him." Edward sighed, looking bothered.

I knew he was tired and for the last few days, all we've done is go back to the house and sleep, but something about this night was different. "Sug, what is it?"

He shook his head, "Nothing, baby."

Feeling a bit winded from sitting on the bed too fast, I attempted to stand on my feet. Edward was instant, holding me up until my shoulder met his chest. I leaned my head against his body, feeling the heat of his chest through his shirt. A hum took over me and I had the sudden urge to grab him and kiss the look of distant hurt from his face.

"Please tell me." I begged. He froze, most likely feeling my breath on him.

"It's nothing." I recognized the tone - he was putting a wall up.

"It is something if it bothers you," I looked up at him, only to be met with troubled eyes, "Please." I tried again.

With a muttered "_Fuck_" he ran his hand through his hair once again, before settling in the bed next to me. He was still in his day clothes, seeing how he took the time to watch me with reservation as I changed into my sleep clothes.

"Love," He started slowly, meeting my eyes, "we've never established what this is between us." He gestured his hands towards him and myself, "You're all I see and all I want and I care about you more than I should say-" He hesitated, pressing his pink lips together in a thin line.

"What is it?"

"Last week, I didn't mean to upset you." I felt a frown settle on my face at his words. I didn't want to think about how foolish I was. It had been occuring often - waking up with the pulsing and ache between my legs, feeling the need for release, but fearful of what he'd think if I touched myself.

I had gone as far as trying to tempt Edward one night after coming from the boys' house. I had cooked a light dinner and we ate in front of the television, enjoying a quiet movie. A small conversation carried after the meal and soon after we were sharing a heated kiss, his touches like caresses and mine like a desperate attempt to will him farther. I pleaded, begged and nearly cried asking him to take it all the way- to take me. I was drunk in lust, completely loopy and hazy in just needing his touch. Edward didn't think it was safe to, considering how close I was to my due date. I was completely swollen, tired and constantly achy. I took his concern for disgust, and in my rejected, warped mood, acted out, telling him that he didn't want me and foolishly claimed he had no love for me as well.

Like a child, I stomped away from him and into the part of the house where the guest bedroom was, locking myself in it.

I was ridiculous. And I knew it the next morning. I wouldn't show my face, afraid of just what I damaged. There was a knock on my door then and when I opened, I was greeted with an apologetic Edward and toast and tea. It took all I had not to break down right there.

Since then, we didn't go pass kissing and even refrained from using much tongue when we did.

"It's my fault." I shook my head, waving his comment off, "Don't worry about it."

He sighed, "I can't help it." His palms were planted on his knees, his head bowed, "I want you too, but I don't want to hurt you. And doing this everynight - preparing for bed - it kills me that I can't show you how I feel." I was relieved by his words, but it still hurt that he couldn't see past my condition.

His body relaxed for a second, before he was fully sitting up and meeting my eyes, "I love you," He whispered softly, "And I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want our relationship to be unrequited or based on our sexual attractions to each other. I want to make sure you're 100%."

I felt it then, the unsure words and touches of that night. How his eyes dimmed in fear. He didn't want sex because of my condition, but rather for _our_ condition.

I gasped beside him, catching on. How foolish was I? Taking those three words so lightly, thinking nothing of the meaning.

I had said those three words so often and was met with nothing, that it became nothing, just that - three words.

He _loved _me - unconditional, unequivocal love. And he really didn't have to say it, it was in the way he looked at me, how sensitive he was around me. It amused Emmett, brought tears to Esme's eyes, but what did it do to me?

"Oh God," It hit me so hard, my hands fell in my hands, "Edward, I'm sorry."

His touch was embrasive and comforting, even in my self realization, "Sorry about what, sweetheart?"

"You have been taking care of me for two months, running yourself tired and I expect sex from you and I don't even have the decency to let you know what I think about this?" I was suddenly struck with another thought, "How long have I been like this, Edward? How long have I been blind?"

He responded with gently tucking his knuckle under my chin, pulling me up to meet his eyes, "You haven't, baby." He gave me a small smile, "This is all my problem."

"It's not," I shook my head, "James never told me-" My voice caught in my throat, "He never loved me - didn't say it once. I don't _think_ I can say it again - I - I just can't say it right now, Edward." I stammered, "Please, I need you, I do, but I know you'll run." I continued on.

His arms only closed in more around me, "Shh," He soothed, "I would never force you to say it. We can't push ourselves past what we can't handle," He sweeped a curl from my eyes, "I'm in no way old fashioned, but I can see what you need and sex without complete certainty for how we feel will ruin what we already have. It just kills me that I can't give you what you want, especially seeing how Emmett and Jacob go at it all the time." He finished with a pout.

I was taken back. How the hell did he do that? "You're always thinking about me."

He confirmed my comment with a wider smile, "I am."

"Then I should be allowed to think about you," I replied, "Sleep in tomorrow, at least an hour, okay? And talk to me if I'm doing something foolish. I hate that I have been a nutcase these last few months."

"I don't think-" He stopped, catching my serious look, "Okay, love, I'll be sure to tell you." And with that, we sealed the deal with a kiss more tender than any we had before.

**xXx**

"So, are you going to tell him?" Bella asked, brushing a strand of hair from her cheek. She sat cross-legged on her bed, a cup of tea in her lap.

I gave her a pained look, before looking down at my own cup of green tea, "Tell him what?" I knew what she was asking.

She snorted, "That you love him, Jasper." Before I could answer, she shook her head, "Jasper, I know Edward pretty well, and I can tell you I've never seen him so..._dedicated_ to anything before and that's saying a lot. He is the most invested workaholic I've ever met and he cut back his work for _you_. I know that James sucker treated you wrongly and he used you when you were vulnerable, but this time around, honey, it's Edward that's vulnerable. You have the power, Jasper."

"What do you mean?" I felt my eyebrow furrow at the thought.

Bella responded with a comical look, "What do you mean, what do I mean?" She lifted a hand up in the air in exasperation, "Do you not _see_ it?" She exclaimed.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're recovering well." Emmett snickered over my shoulder. It had been his idea to see Bella after picking me up from Edward's house, but he spent nearly an hour having a conversation with Mike as he soothed Eric back to sleep. I was beginning to think Emmett was feeling the bug of fatherhood and was liking it.

"I am." Bella said with a huff, crossing her arms. Emmett chuckled, taking a seat at the edge of her bed.

"Have you walked around a bit yet?"

"Yeah," Bella rolled her eyes, "But Mike only lets me walk to the bathroom across the hall, seeing how the shower stall in ours is just too tough to stand in. He still feels he needs to bring Eric to me." At this, she looked visibly upset, "It feels like I haven't touched him at all."

Emmett shook his head, "Mike was just complaining that it seems like all you've been doing was keeping him up." At that, Bella blushed.

"Well, damnit, he's my son!" She pouted.

"How do you feel about testing out those legs?" Emmett asked slyly, getting a look of surprise from both me and Bella. There was a moment's pause before Bella broke out into a wide grin.

I could tell that it was a breath of fresh air to see someone ask that question. After the visits from Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Alice and Rose, she felt like an invalid. But, no one could forget that night. After a few hours, Mike and his mother got news from the doctors that Bella suffered hemorrhaging before and after the birth and when he was sure Bella and Eric were alright, the doctor's wishes were for Bella to be bed-ridden for a week or two, but with Mike, it ultimately ended up being nearly a month. I could already see her impatience growing thin, but Mike - like Edward, I realized - had a thing for being too sensitive to Bella's weakened condition.

"Em, I will love you forever!" She exclaimed, before her eyes went wide and she casted a glance over his shoulder. She sat up higher in bed and almost on instinct, both Emmett and I took tentative steps forward to catch her if she was to fall out of bed. She shot us each a glare and we froze where we were.

With more grace than I expected, Bella kicked her legs off the bed and planted her feet on the wooden floor under her before standing on steady legs and literally _walked_ in our direction. Emmett and I exchanged glances of shock as Bella pushed past us, before peeking into the hallway. When the coast was clear, she tip-toed across the into the nursery room. Emmett and I followed silently. Bella was bent over the glossy, white crib when we caught up to her.

"Bella," I whispered, "how long have you been doing this?" Her brown hair, cascaded over her face like a curtain, hiding her face momentarily, before she gingerly sweeped it over her shoulder, giving me and Emmett a sheepish smile.

"The last two weeks or so." She giggled quietly, "I first tried when Mike and his insane mother were occupied with cooking dinner one night. I was just so _pissed _with that woman. All I wanted was to hold Eric and have him all to myself for 5 minutes."

Emmett gave her a proud smirk, "I heard she was a real cunt."

Bella's smile brightened before she narrowed her eyes, "Shh," She tsked, "Not in front of the baby." And with that, she gave the infant her full attention. I followed her eyes, catching the buddled lump in the bed. I was just able to make out the small, round face with the same colored tuff of hair like his mother. There was a wrinkle between his brows like it took great concentration to sleep and his mouth moved deftly as if sucking on a bottle. I was in awe. All that waiting, all that commotion for such a small creature. My hand instinctively went to my belly. I understood just how worth it all this trouble was.

"He's beautiful." I whispered. Bella nodded, sniffling just a bit, before gently stroking the small, clutched fists.

"Don't let Edward catch you saying that." Emmett mumbled, causing both Bella and I to chuckle under our breaths.

"I think it's time you told him, Jasper." She said in a small voice, eyes still on her son, "There's nothing like bringing someone into the world with a partner."

The statement made my heart warm, even despite my fears of what saying such words would bring.

"I will." I stated, "If you walk into that room and say hello to your husband."

**xXx**

It wasn't the normal time to be back at the house, but Emmett could already see the effects the day had on me. After leaving Bella's, we met up with Jacob for an early dinner and after, checked out a nursery store on our way back to El Segundo. It had been an idea of Emmett's that thoroughly confused me.

"Rose was strapped to the gills with everything because she had Alice," Emmett shrugged, "And you saw what Bella had. Blondie, you need to do some shopping."

It was as if I hadn't taken my pregnancy seriously enough and to have Emmett bring it up made me feel a bit inadaquate of taking care of a small child. I was nowhere near ready.

"Hey," Emmett whispered softly, getting my attention, "Have you thought about this?"

I was standing in front of a crib then, staring at the thin, wooden bars, "Once or twice, but, it was something James always said he'd take care of."

"Blondie, hey," I hadn't realized the wet trails on my cheek, until Emmett was wiping them away, "_Fuck_ James. You have Daddy Edward with Uncle Em and Jake to take care of the little man."

"I c-can't, Em." I shook my head, "Everyone has already done enough-"

Emmett's expression hardened then, "Okay, cut it out." He said sternly, "None of what we're doing has been forced on us. You're my friend and I care about you. and it also helps that you have lips that would look good around my dick."

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the smile that was on my face, "I can't believe you are saying this to a pregnant man in a nursery department store."

Emmett shrugged, "Let us take care of you. You have been pretty good with the 'keeping an eye on you' bit, but it's time we prepare for Jasper Jr." He watched me for a second, "Did you tell Edward?"

"About James?" He nodded, "No." Emmett gave me a bewildered expression.

"Fuck, Blondie, if he finds out any other way..."

I bit my lip nervously. Thinking about it made it harder to tell Edward. He was already stressed with my problems as it was, "I just need to give him a break..."

"You haven't been listening to a word I was saying, have you?" The bigger man in front of me heaved a sigh before staring up at the ceiling as if he was asking for outer-worldly help, "Tell him, Blondie. He'll be happy you did."

"But it shouldn't matter if I tell him or not. All it's going to do is make him watch me _more_. He's not getting enough sleep as it is."

"Yeah," He nodded, "Edward has a thing for the dramatics, but humor me here, Blondie, imagine if something _did_ happen. Understand how he would feel if he found out what you didn't tell him. Just be honest with him. His theatrics will eventually cool down once he realizes just who this James character is fucking with."

Pulling up to Edward's house an hour later, I noticed the yellow Porsche just at the end of the drive-way.

"Em, why is Alice here?"

"Hell," Emmett blew out a breath of hair, "because she is up to something."

We got out of the car and Emmett escorted me to the door before we both let ourselves in. Once inside, I waddled my way to the couch, taking a moment to pull weight off my back.

"Need anything, Jazz?" Emmett asked, following me.

"I'm okay, Em." I answered. There was a thump from upstairs and I craned my head towards the stairwell just hidden from view, "Wonder what she's doing up there. Does she even have Edward's key to the house?"

"She has the key to _everyone's_ house." He grumbled, "I'll get you some juice, Blondie. How about that?"

I couldn't help the adoring smile that made it on my face. Emmett was becoming quite the ally and friend, "Sure." Emmett took his leave, already on a mission, but I used that as an escape to follow my piqued interest. Still in pain, I took my time to climb the stairs, following the source of the noise. When I was on the second landing, I walked over to the vacant room Edward barely ever used. There was a rustling of plastic and the occasional thump. I cocked my head, staring at the door, still unsure of whether or not I should open it.

But before I had the chance to even consider, the door opened and I was greeted with a petite sized woman donning a bright, floral scarf wrapped around her skull, all accept the black locks peeking out the nap of her neck and forehead. Fitted on her fram was a set of overalls. Alice didn't look much like the Alice I'd seen only days before.

"What are you doing here, Alice?" I asked, causing her to jump, one hand over her heart.

"Damnit, Jasper Whitlock!" She screeched, "When did you get here?"

"Just now." I cocked my head, "You haven't answered my question."

"Well, I'm here to visit my brother." She stammered, eyes wide. I didn't believe her.

"Edward is not coming back from Burbank until later tonight." I was sure she already knew this.

"Well, I was here to do a few favors for him." She said in a defensive tone, her arms settled over her chest.

"Emmett's here," I informed. Whatever she was doing, it appeared to be taking a bit out of her. There were what looked like dirt marks on her knees, and what appeared to be...green paint on her cheek. She was heaving great breaths and was glistening with a light sheen of sweat "He can help."

Her eyes got more round, "Oh!" She clapped her hands together, "He is? Oh thank God!" She let out.

"I can help too if-"

"No!" She exclaimed, causing me to jump, "I mean, it's some pretty heavy duty stuff..."

"Says the 4'10" woman that's about 100 pounds." I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Well, I offered to help, but there is _no_ way that you're lifting." She tsked, "Now go to bed. You look tired and in need of a nap. You must have terrible back pains. That soldier seems to be taking up a lot of space in you." She commented, casting a look at my swollen belly, "Now off you go!" She pointed to Edward's bedroom.

I felt a pout form on my face. Still curious, I followed her orders, only casting a look at her when I was in the doorway. She was already marching towards the loft, looking over the banister, before yelling out to Emmett, "Em, honey! I need you up here!"

"Oh hell, Alice. What shit of trouble, are you going to get us into now?"

**xXx**

"You hungry, baby?" I heard the husky voice ask me just as I felt the pressure of his lips to my temple, "I brought home some Chinese."

"No." My throat was dry from sleep, "I had orange juice." I yawned, blinking my eyes in the dark room. It appeared I had slept right until Edward came home.

"That's hardly a meal, my love." Edward snickered. I turned my head, catching sight of his face, eyes shining in the dark. He was still wearing the clothes I left him in that morning. I followed his change in gaze. I was surprised to see the big, puffy headphones wrapped around my bubbled torso. Edward saw the confusion in my eyes.

"He looked like he was putting up a fight while you were sleeping. I figured he just needed a lullaby." Edward stared at my stomach with such affection it had me in awe.

"Thank you."

"No problem." We shared a lingering kiss before he pulled back, resting his head on his elbows.

"What time is it?"

"Around 2AM." Edward spoke with a shrug.

"Please don't tell me you just got here, Sug."

He shook his head, "No, I've been here since 9."

I frowned, "When did you come up here?"

He thought for a second, "Around midnight."

"Edward, you need to sleep."

He smiled, as if he found something amusing, "I'm sleeping in until noon, don't worry. I just got caught up with Em and Alli."

"How caught up did you get?" I pressed, hoping he'd reveal what his sneaky sister was up to.

He gave me a sexy, smirk, "As caught up as I could get," His warm lips pressed just under my ear as he spoke again, "You should have something to eat."

"I'll eat when you tell me what your sister is concocting in that room." I got a small growl from Edward.

"Clever little Jazz." He whispered into my skin, "How about this - you'll find out sooner than you think."

"Edward-" I warned, already feeling the tingle in my stomach, "Just lay with me."

He knew he wasn't going to win this.

"Alright, sweetie," He gave in, "Make sure to call my father tomorrow morning. Emmett told me about the backpains you've been having. Maybe there is something that can be done about it."

I shook my head, understanding the frustration and love Bella must of had for her husband.

**xXx**

The next morning was the start of my 29th week. It was so absurdly odd just how much had changed over the span of 6 months. I had gained new friends and in some way, a family and at the same time, it felt like my heart was once again someone else's, but instead of the hallow, dull day-to-day I was use to accompanying it with, there was a thriving desire to spend every moment and thought on that one person.

It was like I was living another life.

In another home.

With another man.

As another person.

Edward indeed slept in until noon, waking up just as I was finishing up in the shower. I had contacted Carlisle that morning to ask him about any procedures to follow to ease swelling and backpains and he suggested I spend the afternoon with his wife. It had been a good 4 months or so since I spent alone time with Esme. It was a shame that she was busy with new Expecting Care women and working on couseling with pregnant teens on the weekends. She had become quite the motherly influence on me in my first trimester and some parts of my second as well. The time we spent together was mostly in peaceful company, discussing her family or childcare. I forgotten just how much help she could be, especially with so much slipping my mind, like shopping for my newborn.

Esme arrived just an hour after Edward made me breakfast (a bowl of cornflakes) and was preparing to leave for work himself. She greeted her son with a peck on the cheek and saved and embracing hug for myself.

"Oh, sweetie, you look under the weather." She noted in distress, combing her warm fingers under my eyes, "And are these bags?" She turned to her son, "Edward Anthony, _have_ you _not_ been taking care of your partner?" She scolded. I was surprised to see a flush of color on Edward's face.

"Mom," He whined, "I'm doing the best I can, but the stress of everything is weighing on the both of us."

"Don't blame him, Esme," I attempted to take some of the heat for him, "I haven't been exactly easy to take care of. I'm told I'm stubborn."

"Most expecting parents are." She clicked her tongue, before looking over her shoulders at Edward, who was sheepishly raking his hair, "Off, you. I see that a woman's work is never done." She added with exasperation that reminded me very much of Alice.

Edward eventually took off to work, leaving with a rather doting mother to look after me.

"Okay, first, we must handle this physical problem you're having." She escorted me to the couch in the living room, "Alright honey, have a seat." She had me sit on the couch, my legs elevated on the cusion, before she went upstairs to grab a few pillows from Edward's bedroom. She was back down within a minute, placing the pillow at the small of my back, once again leaving me to go into the kitchen.

"Honey, what you need is something warm in you." She called from the kitchen. I smiled, leaning into the pillow. Esme was a maternal figure that reminded me too much of my own mother...

**xXx**

_"That is _not_ what that is for, child!" My mother scolded, taking the thin sticks from me, "You could take your eye out." _

_ "Why would you have those, anyway?" I huffed in frustration, "If they ain't for liftin' chicken, what are they for?"_

_ My mother gave me a pointed look, "Who taught you grammar? We don't use 'ain't' in this household, boy. Now sit up and remove your arms from the table. I swear, you're becoming more like those hoodlums down the street." She shook her head._

_ "They're nice to me, mama."_

_ She shook her head, picking up one of the sticks before poking a vegetable with it, "I'd figure you'd say something like that."_

_ "Dad said they're good kids." I added, taking a bite out of my sandwich she had prepared for lunch. I had been watching my mother stab vegetables and slices of raw meet with the sticks until they were stacks, piled on one another._

_ "Yes, and your father is always right." Something about the way she spoke, had me believing she wasn't serious. When she was done, she placed all the stacked meat and vegetables on one large platter._

_ "Now how about helping your mother start the grill and cook some kabobs."_

_ I frowned, looking towards the backyard door, "But dad says that women shouldn't use the grill." I looked back at her only to see an odd expression settle over her face._

_ "Sure, Sug," She said gently, getting up from the table, taking the platter with her. She was already halfway to the backyard door when she spoke again, "Your father is always right."_

_ "Mama, wait!" I jumped up from my chair, forgetting my lunch. I wanted to see her start the grill._

**xXx**

"Oh, love, you're dreaming." I came to when I heard the voice. It was gentle and comforting just as I remembered...

"Mama?" I asked, blinking, trying to sit up, before I felt petite hands press me back down on the couch.

"It's me, Esme." She spoke gently, "Were you having a dream about your mother, honey?"

Tears stung my eyes as I realized just where I was and how fast I had passed out, "Yeah." I croaked out an answer.

"Oh, sweetie." Esme cupped my cheek affectionately, "Do you miss her?" I felt like the small little boy from my memory, nodding my head, too choked up to answer.

"Have you tried contacting her?"

"No."

"Why not?" I blinked up at her, catching site of the tray on the coffee table, loaded with tea and oatmeal.

"She wanted me to leave." I answered.

"Did you come out to her? Talk to her?" At her question, I shook my head violently, "Then how can you be so sure?"

"I just know."

She frowned, "Do you?" I nodded. With that, she sat back at the edge of the couch, lips thinned, "I'm sure Edward told you it took four years for him to come out to me and Carlisle."

I didn't understand the change in subject, but I nodded nonetheless, "Part of it was because of the traumatic events he had to endure, but the other half was because he was scared of just what that would mean to me and his father. He assumed the worse and quite frankly ran from us. We had to force contact with him. And sometimes that resulted in some rough confrontations.

"When he finally came out, he seemed so ready for us to pull our support from him. He said he would willingly pay his way through school if we didn't and even went as far to say that he would happily change his last name if we were scared anyone would make any associations between him and his parents. We've already made a name of ourselves here and he was sure we'd suffer some societal consequence for his orientation. It was foolish to say the least." She concluded with the shake of her head.

"Emmett says he has a thing for theatrics." At that, she laughed.

"Thank God for that blessing of a boy." She smiled, "It was him that shook some sense into our son and got him to come out, even if it was in such a manner. He fought tooth and nail to keep Edward in contact with us and when Alice was accepted into USC, he finally gave in under the pressure of both of them. They are a persistent bunch."

"You're different Esme." I finally spoke, "You, Emmett, Alice and Carlisle. All of you are different."

"How can you be so sure, hon, if you haven't spoken to either of your parents?"

"I'm sure mama knows. When my father..." My voice caught in my throat, "I just know."

Esme gave my thigh a sympathetic pat, "My darling, for the longest time, Edward was _sure_ we put two and two together and figured he was gay."

"With all due respect, Esme, you and your husband are two different people in different circumstances."

"Well, pardon me, my child, but it appears you miss your mother enough. Something tells me she was wonderful. And someone like her deserves a chance to speak to her son at least to know how he is doing. That's all I shall say for now. Eat your breakfast."

**xXx**

The next morning was spent at the Cullen house, getting my weekly check-up from Carlisle before being picked up by Jacob, who for the first time in a few weeks, didn't have to work most of the day.

"Emmett working?" I asked, when he stepped inside the house, greeted by Carlisle.

"Yeah, he started training some new pro athlete yesterday. He won't join us until later this afternoon." Jacob informed.

"Are we going back to Edward's?"

Jacob scratched the back of his head nervously, "Actually, I have some errands to run. I was hoping you wouldn't mind..."

"Not at all." It gave us both something to do.

We weren't able to leave without a full meal in us from Esme and so after, we began our errands. We drove back to Jacob's job. He stated vaguely that he had a few things to help his employees with. I waited in his office for a good 30 minutes. The room was fairly tiny with a small, cluttered desk with papers, a few metal, foreign items and a handful of framed pictures, most of Emmett and Jacob. It was odd witnessing this personal space of his. Out of the two, Jacob was the less expressive, only because his boyfriend was completely over the top. It was obvious the two loved each other, but rarely had I ever seen it in the basic of affections. They never exchanged 'I love you's in public and rarely did they simply gaze into the other's eyes. Their relationship, I knew to be very passionate and pretty intense, but seeing simple pictures of them cuddling on the couch, enjoying a camping trip somewhere up north or both working on a car, had me realzing there was much tenderness to the relationship than they liked to express to outsiders.

Jacob was back, apologizing immensely, before taking me back to the car. He stated that our next trip was to Ralph's, where he needed to get a few things for the house since Emmett would be working later than him.

It was odd. Pretty much half the grocery trip was spent browsing items, rather than buying. Jacob finally came around to buying bananas, tomato sauce, and gum at the cashier counter. Hardly a shopping trip. When I gave him a questioning look, he merely responded with, "Should of had a shopping list. Emmett usually does this." with a shrug.

We dropped the grocery's at their apartment and Jacob stated that before dropping me off at home, he needed to change. Once again, I found myself waiting longer than expected. I took the moment to relax on the couch, kicking my legs up like Esme instructed and relaxing my eyes. Jacob appeared out of his bedroom almost an hour or so later, only donning a different shirt.

"Sorry," He said, "Had to shower."

"It's alright." It really was. I needed the rest, "It was nice relaxing for awhile."

"Well," Jacob stared at the clock on the wall, "We should get going. We have to be there by 4 - I mean, we should get there around that time."

Jacob was acting strange.

The drive home was filled with an awkward silence I had never known to experience with Jacob. I wondered if maybe he was lying about Emmett. They might have fought again, and he was doing his best to keep me from realizing this? Whatever it was, I had no intention of pushing what he didn't want to speak of. Glancing at the digital clock on the dashboard, Jacob let out a heavy breath, just as we exited the freeway, turning into El Segundo. We passed the local elementary school, which was fairly crowded with cars - most likely a school function - before pulling up to the drive-way of Edward's house. As expected, Edward wasn't home yet.

"Okay," Jacob finally spoke, "Here we are." He sent me a soft smile, before throwing open his truck door. I unbuckled myself and opened the door. I wasn't surpised to see Jacob waiting for me on the other side, offering me his hand. I knew not to complain. I took his hand and stepped down and we both walked towards the entry. Jacob jiggled the keys in his hand, stepping in front to unlock the door. Edward only had two spares, one for the boys and another set for Alice. It was safe to assume that Emmett gave the keys to Jacob. But something about that confused me. I hadn't found out Jacob was coming for me until later that day, when Emmett was already at work. It had been a last minute change in plans.

I shook off the thought, figuring that maybe I hadn't listened correctly when I was told. It made just as much sense if Jacob had his own spare as well.

With an easy push, the door opened and Jacob stepped back, allowing me to enter first. I gave him a smile of gratitude, already feeling the exhaustion in my body. It was getting rather annoying feeling the day as a heavy weight on my shoulders the last few weeks. I was sure being tired was a symptom I left in the first trimester.

I yawned, stepping into the open space in the front of the house. I blinked my eyes, seeing a shimmering of gold from the banister of the loft a few feet away. My vision cleared and I was able to focus on the banner wrapped around the white painted wood.

**Welcome to your Baby Shower!**

Before I could process anything, a few heads from the corner of the house with the spare bedrooms and another set from the arch leading to the dining room and kitchen all popped out and a chorous of "Surprise!" rang through the house.

I couldn't help the step I took back, "What...?" I knew my eyes were wide. My heart was beating fast in my chest and the baby kicked and tumbled around in response. I started recognizing faces. Esme, Carlisle, Tayna, Victoria, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Bella... but no Edward. I didn't know what to think. Should I be upset or understanding? Should I not think about it?

I jumped, feeling the pressure of warm lips to my neck, arms around my waist, "Hope you're not angry with me." I felt the puff of air on my cheek and couldn't refrain from smiling.

There was a rush of movement as everyone made themselves more visible. Esme was first to get to me, pulling me in a side embrace, making sure not to get in the way of Edward, "Hope we didn't spook you, hon." She beamed.

"Yeah," Jacob had a light blush on his russett skin, "I'm sorry if I was awkward back there. I really have a problem with lying to people."

I still felt the rush of the surprise in me, but I was still able to comprehend just what Jacob had to go through. He was merely stalling to make sure everything was presentable when I arrived, "It's fine, Jacob. I'm surprised it was you that had to keep me busy instead of Emmett." At that, I heard the familiar booming laughter of Jacob's boyfriend.

"You know how bad Emmett is. He would have told you as soon as he picked you up." Edward said in my ear.

Alice was next to step in and offer me a hug, "It was almost _exactly_ what he did," She scowled, "Taking you to the Baby Department Store like that." She rolled her eyes.

Emmett snorted, "I was merely looking for a gift. I never said anything to him, did I?"

"No," Alice rolled her eyes, "But you almost gave away the _surprise_." She narrowed her eyes. Emmett smirked, but didn't say anything.

Bella was next to step up to us, although in a slow pace. Emmett quickly backtracked and slipped an arm around her waist, guiding her towards us, "Hey." She spoke with a weak smile.

"Bella-" I started, ready to chastise her for getting out of bed to visit us, but she held up a hand.

"I'm getting fed up with being treated like glass. I hadn't left the house in a month. Anyway, I wasn't going to be held home _after_ being told that everyone was attending your baby shower." She shrugged.

"Funny," I turned, giving Edward a look, "_I_ didn't know everyone was invited." Edward merely smiled innocently.

"It wasn't my idea." He confessed.

"Actually," And I turned to face the beaming small woman with the wild, short hair, "It was mine. I've been planning it for a few weeks now, but only a few days ago did I tell anyone." She gave Edward the same look I had only sported earlier, "and _some_ people gave me a difficult time."

"I just didn't want us throwing random surprises. I know how much you hate the limelight. And with these types of events come-"

"PRESENTS!" Alice squealed, "And Jasper, we have _loads_ of them. You _will_ like them." It was more of a threat than a promise.

"I didn't know Baby Showers could be surprise parties." I muttered to Edward.

"Neither did I." Edward said back low enough for only me to hear.

I was suddenly pulled away from the warmth of his arms and guided to the living room where I was seated and entertained with conversations and compliments on just what fatherhood would be like for me. The new mothers gushed about their newborns, although Alice clearly expressed that sleep would be something I'd virtue far more than I did now. Victoria, now showing an exceptable bulge, seemed to have settled in her time as an expecting parent. Her hair, once untamed and long down her back, was now pressed straight and heavy over one shoulder in a loose ponytail. I had heard a little from Edward and Esme herself, that they had grown closer over time and she was making progress already. She greeted me with a polite hello before we eventually shared a few bits of stories amongst each other.

All this continued while the men kept their distance, relaxing in the kitchen with beer, sharing their own topics with each other. I suddenly felt more like a housewife, than a pregnant gay male.

"Okay!" Alice clapped her hands in efforts to calm the woman's voices down so she could be heard, "It's game time." She had appeared out of the kitchen with a stack of magazines.

As if knowing what her clever daughter had planned, Esme smiled, "Need help, honey." She started, already standing.

"Sure mom." Alice smiled, before laying out the magazines. They appeared to be centered around babies. Both woman flattened out the stack and began explaining the objective of the game.

"We make Jasper's baby!" She giggled. Next was the scissors, construction paper and glue. The women got into pairs, each happily selecting their magazines before acting away. Alice was paired with Rosalie, Bella with Tanya and Victoria with Esme. They all worked eagerly as I watched from my perch on the couch in astonishment.

"Hey, don't you look!" Alice pointed a finger at me and I shrank back in my seat. Edward came moments later with a glass of Iced tea for me, promising that dinner would come shortly.

When the time was up, all women sat back, smiling and looking at me expectedly.

"Okay, Jasper," Alice said sweetly, "Now you can look. Whichever you think is most fitting of your child - You choose." I nodded, letting her know I got the rules, "Okay, us first." She lifted up their creation and I nearly choked on my drink. Right before me was a baby, not much like me, considering the reddish brown hair on top his head and bright green eyes. I'd say the only exception was the similar shape in the face as mine. But clearly both women were striving for a point rather a first prize.

"Alice," I heard Edward speak behind me. I had forgotten he was still standing there, now with a look of embarrassment. Esme and Bella giggled and Alice sported a proud smirk.

"Next!" Alice chirped. Victoria and Esme lifted their creation; a dark haired blonde baby with wisps of hair, a small button nose, greyish eyes and chubby cheeks. He was quite adorable, seeing how he was made from appoximiately 4 babies. Bella and Tanya were next, sporting their own baby made.

"We couldn't find a one with your eye color." Bella pouted, pointing to the golden haired baby with pink blushing cheeks and big, round brown eyes. I gasped, staring at what could have been the most _accurate_ of the three. There, staring back at me, were James eyes. As if sensing my discomfort, Edward spoke up.

"We're cutting it pretty close to dinner, shouldn't it be presents time?" He gave her a long, hard look before she seemed to perk up.

"We're all winners!" Alice exclaimed, "And winners get to give Jasper gifts without him turning them away."

And so went on the hour. Gift cards for a truck load of diapers, baby onesies, bibs, bottles, baby formula and a very expensive stroller was thrusted into my arms nearly all at once. I bit my tongue - quite hard - accepting all that I recieved.

Dinner came just as Edward promised - catered food from an expensive restaurant from downtown LA. He didn't meet my eye when I realized just how much was spent on the meal, instead kept himself busy playing host to everyone. We ate our hearty meal in the dining room, a congregation of mothers, lovers and friends enjoying the evening. After the clanking of dishes died down and there was a decline in animated conversation, Alice stood on her feet, giving me a rather suggestive look, "Edward, Emmett and I have one more gift for Jasper," She cocked her head as she walked around the table, "Follow me, Blondie." She said, utilizing Emmett's nickname for me. I gave her a questioning frown, but got up with the help of Edward's hand, before being escorted upstairs...straight to the room that Alice so adamently wanted me away from.

"What's going on?" I asked in a small voice. Edward gave my hand a gentle squeeze before giving me an encouraging smile.

"Love, I know I haven't been around as much because of work, but I'm afraid to say that was a partial lie. Alice had been coming over for the last two weeks when you were over at Emmett and Jake's. We were putting this together, and when I or her were unable to, Emmett helped." His eyes pleaded in apology, "I wanted this for you...and the baby."

"Wanted what?" I looked between him and a estatic looking Alice, who was literally hopping on the tips of her toes. Emmett kept his distance from us, a smug look on his face, his large arms crossed over his chest.

"Quit fucking with his head, Eddy and open the damn door." Emmett suggested.

Alice needed no more said. She opened the door, arms open before turning to me, "Welcome Jasper." Both her and her brother stepped back, ushering me in with their eyes.

So I entered.

And was thrilled and terrified at what I witnessed.

**xXx**

"Mad?"

"No."

"Happy?"

I turned to face him, unable to keep the smile from my face.

"Baby, you haven't said anything." He sounded worried. I didn't want him to be.

"I know," I answered in a whisper, "I'm trying to digest it all."

It had been only a few hours since everyone left, Alice, Emmett, Bella and Jake being the last of them. They helped clean up, but I had been too overhwelmed then to see them off. I knew they could read the joy and fear in my eyes, so they weren't as worried as Edward who had appeared to be stumbling over his words all night, tugging his hair in a mess. I really wanted to save my feelings after everyone left. When he had finally climbed the stairs to settle in bed with me, he started expressing what appeared to be an insecure probbing of whether or not I enjoyed the night.

"That's not a good sign, is it?" He sounded so desperate to know what I was thinking.

"Edward, I'm not sure what you plan to happen after he's born," I bit my lip, contemplating just how to continue, but when I noticed how he held his breath, I knew there was no way to keep what was on my mind away from him, "I want this. I want you so much, but are you sure you could do this?"

"Is that what you were thinking about?" He asked, watching me with such intensity, I had to hold back a whimper of want. It was exactly what I had been thinking about the rest of the night. That gift...said more than just what it was entitled as. It was an unspoken promise.

"Yes."

"Love, I want you and him happy. I don't care what I have to offer - my time, my money , my life. Whatever I can."

I let out a noise of blissful joy, wrapping my arms around him just as our lips met in a kiss. God, he was eveything I ever wanted, "A nursery would be enough, Sugar." I whispered against his pink lips.

"Well, the offers are always there." He whispered back, not pulling away. The kiss that followed was deeper, our tongues meeting in an effortless dance.

"I know," I cupped his cheeks in both hands, caressing his smooth skin with the pad of my thumb, "And I love you so much for it." That seemed to still him and I in mid kiss.

"Love?" He asked. I knew he wanted to make sure, I knew just how much he wanted to hear me say it again.

"I love you, Edward." I confessed, "And I was a fool to not say it the moment I felt it. I want you with us," I took his hand in mine, guiding it to my round abdomen, "If _this_ is what you want-"

"It is." He didn't let me finish, coating my lips with his, taking me in for a kiss of gratitude, love and future promises.

**xXx**

___"A _cell_ phone?" I stared at the device and snorted, "Mama, are you sure you know how to use this?"_

_ My mother shook her head, "I do. I'm not useless, Jasper Whitlock." She took the small phone from my hand and gazed at it like it was something foreign anyhow._

_ "What do you need it for?" I asked, getting a shrug in reponse, "Mama." I added flatly, knowing she was hiding something._

_ She rolled her eyes, surprising me with the childish action, "You're getting older..." I frowned at the way she explained._

_ "And what does getting a new phone have to do with me getting older?" I pressed, noticing how she polished the phone on her shirt._

_ "Well, Sug, you'll be moving on in three years, going to college and I may not always be there to talk to."_

_ "Mama," I shook my head, "And how will you contact me if _I _don't have a cell phone?"_

_ My mother cocked her head, eyeing me with her dark brown eyes as if confused, "Oh, well I guess you didn't dig deep enough in the bag." She hummed lightly to herself._

_ I frowned, glancing at the bag she had arrived with from the Cellular store. Reaching in, I felt another small box, much like hers. I pulled it out and stared. It was another phone._

_ "Sug, like I said, you're growing up. And I may not always be there, but I know there may be moments when you'll need a second opinion, someone to talk to, hell, a ride home," She shook her head, "My number is already in the phone and it will _never_ change. I know what it's like when your contact is contantly changing their information and what's the point of that?"_

_ "Mama-" I started in thanks, but she gently shook her wheat blonde hair from her face, giving me a gentle smile._

_ "Just promise me, whenever you need me, you'll call." She urged, "I'm always going to be here, Sug."_

**xXx**

I awoke with a jerk kick to the stomach. With a growl, I muttered, "Sawyer." I didn't know where it came from, but it definitely felt like I was speaking to my son. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was only 6:15. I looked over at Edward and sighed. He really needed his rest. His arms were extended towards me, his eyes fluttering about in his sleep. He grunted, mumbling something before reaching for where I was. I leaned over, kissing his rose colored lips before getting up from the bed. I needed to see the room again. I stood on my feet, making my way quietly out of Edward's space before slipping into the freshly painted room. I let out a sigh and felt my eyes tear.

The room was rather big and open, walls painted in a creamy green, furniture, an earth brown. And there, in the middle of the room, on a small round rug, a rocking chair. I waddled over to the massively sized crib drapping my arm over the banister and sighing. In just two months would I see my son in this - big, brown eyes staring up at me?

Big, brown eyes I remember seeing months ago, but even so, years ago in the eyes of my mother. With a shaky whimper, I stepped away from the crib, chancing a glance at the changing station, the toy box that wouldn't be used for still a year or two and the baby monitor, inactive, on the nightstand by the baby's enclosed bed. 23 years ago, I'm sure my own mother stood in a room much like this, pondering the joys of motherhood, but unaware of what would leave her too soon. My heart clenched and I gasped. What if _he_ left me, like James? I held my breath, lifting a shaky hand to my face. What if I met the same end my mother did?

And then it hit me...

What have I done?

It didn't matter that she opened the door for me to leave, that she didn't speak to me my last years there...She created me.

Was this why my mind was riddled with her rather than my father? Did I feel a new connection to her, or had I always been connected and my eyes were only open now?

I panicked, backtracking into Edward's room, reaching for the small device from the nightstand before making it back into the nursery room. I clutched the black cellular phone in my hand, nothing like the large grey contraption 8 years before. Taking a breath, I sat in the rocking chair, my body already relaxing against the cushion of the seat and long back. I glanced at the screen, taking in the low lighting, the background of Emmett, Jacob, Edward and I. It was a picture Emmett took on one of our luncheons at Santa Monica and it was him that ultimately changed my background to the picture. I hadn't thought to switch it since.

I entered the numbers in my phone, as if it had always been inscripted in the walls of my brain. I held my breath for only a second before clicking the call button. I put the speaker to my ear and waited.

The phone rang once.

Twice.

And there was a click.

My heart thundered in my ear, my throat tightened in anticipation as I waited for the breath on the other line, the familiar twang of the woman I grew up watching cook in the kitchen, laugh in conversation and garden in our backyard.

"Hello?" The voice was laced with sleep, but patient as ever.

My voice stuttered in my throat. I was unable to make a sound.

"Is anyone there?" She suddenly sounded awake - alert.

I cleared my throat, breathing out little huffs of air, "Mama?" I croaked.

There was silence.

I waited, tears stinging my eyes. _Please don't push me away. I need this..._

"Sug?"

**xXx**

**AN: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. It's a start of a NEW era for Jasper and Edward. (EXCITED!)**

**And for any of you wondering where James is...Oh, he's there...he's there...(Did I creep you out?)**

**Got some side news...**

**Opened a Livejournal account just for the sake of having another form of communication with readers. I dont' have any forums up or anything, so this is the next best thing. I plan on utilizing it for such things as teasers, story ideas and anything slash related really ;)**

**And some more important stuff..I'm quite a Twi -Slash reader and I really enjoy what is out there (love my Jake, Eddy, Emmy and Jazzy lovin') and I'm sure most of you do too. So PLEASE do me a favor and nominate some AWESOME hotness you guys have been favoriting and alerting for The Slash Awards. The link to that and my Livejournal are in my profile. **


	21. AN

**Author's Notes: **

I won't say that I'm leaving the story imcomplete and unwritten, not after all I've written so far... but I am going to take a hiatus. Sometimes I lose touch with what I'm writing and regard it as elementary and unreadable. And to top it off, my mind is terribly troubled. Writing this story is hitting too close to home right now and I'm going to back off for a minute.

As for any other one-shots and chapter stories, I'm doing my best at this moment working on them.

I apologize for the false alarm and I'm aware just how much I've been slacking the last few weeks, but there has been a whirlwind of writer's doubt and personal problems keeping me from getting this out as quick as I wanted. And now with some new concerns sprouting up, I'm going to need to take a breather from this story. It may be a few days or even 2 weeks. I'm not sure.


	22. Thirty Weeks

**Author's Notes: **It has been a month of a hiatus and I'm back.

There's much to update you guys on. For one, I discontinued "Awaiting" and removed it from my FF account. It didn't seem like many readers were interested in the backstory of the boys, so I didn't want to waste time telling a tale that readers didn't want to hear. It was more of a fanservice than anything else, so it doesn't affect the main storyline.

Second, I wanted to let readers know that I have started my new semester, so writing is becoming more difficult to do. It'll slow me down a bit (hence the BIG gap in time for not posting any one-shots) but I actually got a lot of writing done. And I'm about 1/4 through my last installment of Juicy. And speaking of Juicy...

Third, **Juicy** got nominated for a Slash Award, which is...pretty awesome. **The Fix-Up** was also a mention in the TwiSlash Awards which had me all smiles. It's good to know people are enjoying some of the stuff I put out there.

Fourth, We are just about nearing the end of **Expecting**. My estimation is that this will hit the thirty chapter mark by the Epilogue. And from there, I'll start working on **DarkWoods**, which I'm ecstatic for. It's a BIG change from anything else I've written and I'm eager to get to it. I will be also finishing the last bit to the** Sleep** series as well.

Thanks to those that have been waiting patiently and have given their support. I really appreciate it guys and it helped me (and REALLY inspired me to write more).

And without farther ado, the long awaited 21st chapter.

**xXx**

**Chapter Twenty One: 30 Weeks**

His lips were everywhere.

My throat was tight and unused from sleep as I attempted to vocalize just what it meant to finally feel his full lips against my belly. My knees were gently pushed aside by the palms of his hands. I couldn't make out the sight, I could only feel it. For the moment, I forgot the day, where I was and just what was going on.

I had to be dreaming right?

"Edward!" It was a whisper. I couldn't reach for him. He was too far away, beyond my swell, past my legs.

He was beyond my reach, but he was caressing me so nice with his tongue. I forgot what this felt like. I lifted myself onto one elbow. In this position I could reach those wild strands of his hair. In a tight fist, I held him to me and attempted movement in my lower hip.

"Mmm," The vibration of his satisfied response had my muscles locking and my head lolling back. The noises, slight suckle of my flesh, the pants from my mouth - had me unraveling in a hazy orgasm. My head was back on the pillow. The world was coming back into focus. There were the dancing colors of sunlight through the blinds, almost like a orange glow of light. I knew the days well in Los Angeles. It had to mean it was past 4 in the evening. I was asleep for 7 hours.

My body, suddenly relaxed and drained, began to move again as I adjusted myself on the bed. Edward hadn't moved from his spot and I wasn't so sure why.

"Sug?" I asked, sitting myself up slightly on my pillow, "Lay with me?" I watched as Edward stood to his feet, licking his full lips as if searching for the traces of a treat. He climbed into bed with me, but not before blessing me with a crooked grin, "I never woken up that way."

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He watched me carefully, petting my cheek as he allowed my leg to rest on his.

"You didn't," I shook my head, "Did I in anyway provoke you?" I teased, getting a chuckle in reply.

"You talk in your sleep." He reminded me, "And the things you say..."

"What did I say?" I raised my eyes to meet his and there was a clouded look of lust.

"It was enough to crack any control I had left in me." He shook his head, "Do you remember what you were dreaming?"

I frowned, thinking hard, then shook my head, "All I remember is coming back to bed and..." _talking to my mother._

There was a thick silence between us as I recalled the conversation.

**xXx**

_ "Sug!" She spoke again, this time in a panic, "Don't hang up. I've been hoping you'd call. I'm so happy I kept this number. Oh thank you, _thank you, _how I prayed, Lord..." She ranted. There was a shift in movement on the other line as I figured she sat herself up in bed and moved her blankets off her lap._

_ "I'm not..." I said softly, waiting for her to right herself before the conversation became too heavy._

_ "You don't have to tell me where you are Sugar, but please answer honestly when I ask that you are alright." She pressed, her maternal demands already taking over._

_ "I am..." I answered honestly, thinking over my last months with Edward, how safe and happy he made me feel. What if I had called the night James left? "now." _

_ "What happened?" She could easily read between the pause. There was no taking back my statement, "Are you safe somewhere? Are you alone? Is anyone taking care of you?"_

_ "There is now, mama." I replied. What more could I say? I didn't want to explain that it was a man that I slept with at night._

_ "Are you secure? Do you have money? Just tell me where to wire it-"_

_ "Mama, that's not why I called." I bit my lip, glancing out the window of the house. The sun was just peeking over the residents across the street._

_ "Did something happen?"_

_ "I-" Do I talk about the baby? Do I mention James? What do I say? "I-I missed you."_

_ There was a sob of relief and a sniffle, "Oh sugar, I missed you with everything I have. I need to see you." She whispered. She was crying now, big, choked sobs rung in my ears and I could feel my eyes water as well._

_ "Oh, mama, please don't cry!" I begged._

_ "My baby boy..." Was all I could make out through the sobs. It took a handful of minutes before she finally spoke with better coherancy, "Have you been eating well?"_

_ "I have." I nodded, although I knew she couldn't see me, "How have you been?"_

_ "Oh honey, I've been survivin'." Her accent rang through the tears, "It's been a tough handful of years," I didn't want to to confirm if it was because I up and ran, "But I've been blessed. How is your health? Have you been...safe?" I hesitated at the question. Was she asking if I was sick? _

_ I chewed on my lip in thought, knowing that being fully honest about my health would put her at ease, "I've been achy these last weeks, mostly in my back, hard to sleep sometimes and I've been going to the bathroom like crazy and my swollen ankles... but I feel really good. I'm not sick or anything..." I trailed off, realizing just why it would have been better to be vague no matter how much she pushed. My mother was never blind, always observant..._

_ "Well, sug, it sounds as if you're pregnant," My mother said with a tearful chuckle. I was silent, unable to respond. God, what would she think if she found out? My anxiety came back in bounds, my breath in short pants, "Jasper? Honey, are you okay? Is it the baby?"_

_ "Mama..." I managed to get out in a huff, "How did you-?" I panted, one hand gripping the arm of the rocking chair._

_ "Oh, Mary and Joseph, breathe for me Sug. Calm down," She waited until my breathing was no longer audible on the line before she spoke again, "You've given me the tell tale signs and your silence was confirmation enough. Honey, I'm not going to ask so soon because I've been waiting for you for 6 years, but I'm assuming you've been medically associated with the doctors of Artificial Pregnancy." It was a statement, rather than a question.. If she knew I was pregnant, she knew this much._

_ "Mama, please, I didn't want to..." I stammered._

_ "Honey, it's fine." She shushed, "I always knew you were different baby and you wouldn't run away for nothing. I just wished you trusted me enough to tell me."_

**xXx**

We didn't talk about James, but I did mention my child had a present father - my _son._ At those words, it was as if I was right back home, on the front porch with mama, discussing everything from the first kicks to the annoying aches and occasional tough sleeps. I didn't mention Edward either, but I made speak of his mother and father. As much as my mother accepted that I was carrying, I still was unsure if she accepted just _how_ it came to be and who her son really was. Mama missed me today, but her opinion could change the next. We hung up, her promising to call later that night after I got some rest and had a meal, but only for that. She was eager to speak to me until the sun went down.

2 hours and my world changed.

There was a chance I had mama back.

But what about my dad? Would she tell him? Would he be angry, resentful? Or was there a chance that even he would be thrilled at the possibility of a reunion? My mother expressed enough vigor to fly out wherever I was, but I wasn't sure I was ready for that just yet. If she knew, dad possibly knew.

Thoughts of Laurent in my childhood room flashed before my eyes that moment. Once it had cleared, it was Edward I saw, staring at me with wide, scared eyes. His hand was cupping my cheek, his other flat against my stomach.

"God," He whispered, "I don't feel him moving baby. Are you in pain?"

I placed my hand on his, smiling at his attentiveness. He was always on his toes. "Edward, please stop worrying about that." I sighed, feeling my memory weigh in on me, "I got lost in my thoughts is all."

"What happened my love. Where did you go?" At his question, I felt the distance between us closing. His free hand ghosted down my exposed thigh, before planting it right at my knee, "You scared me."

"I'm so sorry, I-I'm-" I licked my lips, "I'm trying to digest what I did this morning." At that, he frowned.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

I shook my head, "I-I..."

**xXx**

"That's it?" Emmett roared out, causing me and Jacob to jump.

"I didn't know what to say." I shrugged.

"Oh, just that you stayed up late in the nursery." Emmett added with a scowl, "Holy fuck, blondie. What's going on?"

"Em," Jacob pleaded from the couch. He was still fresh in his work clothes, grease stains on the curves of his big hands, "He has a choice to tell Edward what he needs to tell him. He'll understand." At that, Emmett snorted.

"Yeah, understand with a temper tantrum that would put a toddler to shame."

Emmett was right, but I couldn't help thinking that something would happen if I admitted to Edward just what I did. Contact with my mother meant facing a past I wasn't sure I was ready for - wasn't sure I was ready to show Edward.

Laurent.

My father.

James.

Bits and pieces of me he hadn't seen entirely yet.

"I'm sorry."

At that, Emmett softened, pacing back to the couch where Jacob and I sat, "Alright, alright. Let's not make a scene of this." He sat on my other side, fisting his curls in what looked to be frustration before relaxing. I watched in awe at his complete and utter lack of usual stoic calm, "This smells like Rose." He said as if answering the question that was running through my mind.

"That was different." Jacob spoke softly.

"Yes," Emmett answered, "and no."

I searched Emmett's face, noting just how serious he was. It was still remarkable to see the absence of dimples and the frown crease on his brow. I hoped that this wouldn't be a common look for him, "You think I'm hiding from Edward?"

Air filled his chest and soon he was letting out a big sigh, running his palms on his lap, "It's starting to look like you don't fully trust he'll stay as peaceful and loving as he is now. You're being selfish."

"Baby." Jacob tsked in disapproval.

Emmett gave his boyfriend his brief attention, "He needs to hear this, just as Rose did and his eyes were back on mine, "I know you're scared and I know this is hard. I'm not knocking you for being human, Jasper. But you _have_ to let him in. Telling us is not going to make up for it. You're hurting him each time you keep something from him. Wouldn't you think he'd want to hear this? Wouldn't you want him to tell you if he was having problems with his parents or if he was upset about something?" My breath caught in my throat, but it was nothing like the day before. It wasn't from fear or from lust, it was from disappointment.

"I'm selfish." It rang in my ears still. Have I been hiding these bits of me from Edward because I didn't want to worry him, or because I knew that he'd see me differently and possibly retract those words he spoke? I _needed_ him and I was unknowingly keeping him close, crippling him in the darkness, so he was unable to run. I didn't want him to have the freedom and choice to change his mind, so I orchestrated my situation by keeping him blind. It was my turn to hide my hand in my palms as I rested my elbows on my knees. Even then, it was hard to do, with the major lump in the way.

I chose this moment to speak to the boys because once again Edward was needed back to work out bits for the movie's score. He would be gone the whole day, coming after dinner to pick me up. I found this as the perfect oppurtunity to tell someone, anyone other than him to get perspective on my conversations with my mother. The night before, it had been a brief conversation as Edward left momentarily to get groceries, but not after asking me the fifth time if I was sure I didn't want to go and if I was alright. My conversation with her was shorter than I wanted, so we merely spoke of surface things, what I was having for dinner, if I slept well. Telling Jacob and Emmett this now, explaining how I hid in the nursery, constantly checking to see if his car pulled up into the driveway had me feeling unhonest and disloyal.

Was I ever really going to change into something Edward deserved?

I lifted my head, feeling the earth sway before me.

Jacob spoke over my shoulder to Emmett, but I was unable to make out the words. My focus was strictly on the way the living room bulged and warped before me. My stomach tightened and groaned in agitation and I felt my throat convulse.

I was on my feet instantly, unable to run, so rushing as fast as I could to their spare bathroom. My body shook and my straining stomach tightened and cramped as I emptied it completely. The familiar kickings in my gut brought to my attention just how much my son wasn't enjoying what was going on.

"Em, call the A.I.S. The number's still on the fridge, where Edward left it." I hadn't noticed the body next to me, the big, warm hand on my back. I attempted to make a sound, but all that was coming up were dry heaves over the white bowl.

"N-no!" I choked, gripping the edge of the toilet. My knees had buckled under me some time after the third heave, "E-mm, don't!"

"Jasper, we're going to need to report this to your doctor-" Jacob started softly.

"It's me!" I argued, "The baby is fine. It's just me!"

"Should we call the hospital then?" Jacob asked.

I felt an unfamiliar fury build in my chest, "No," I shook my head, "Please, stop treating me like I'm glass."

"Well darting to the bathroom at random to empty your stomach of your lifetime contents doesn't help, blondie." I was surprised to notice him still standing in the doorway. He hadn't moved.

My body trembled where I sat. I felt so weak and foolish, but I didn't need to see a doctor, I needed to see Edward. I needed him and everyone else for that manner to understand that who I appeared to be wasn't who I was. I wasn't strong, suppportive or caring. I _was_ selfish, all I did was run because I was weak. Maybe not physically so, but when things became too much, when I knew there was nothing I could do to fix what I made...

I may have not run out on Edward yet, but if I saw the disappointment in his eyes, whose to say I'd give him a chance to leave _me._ Mama never left, because somewhere deep down I'm sure she loved me, but maybe she couldn't accept me. And maybe Edward wouldn't either...and maybe I just couldn't take it again.

Talking to mama made me happy in ways I couldn't explain, but it agitated a wound I fought so hard to ignore existed and never healed.

I loved him with everything I had and he deserved to know what was going on, but maybe this was all it could be.

"You're right, Em." I finally spoke, elbows now resting on the toilet seat, "I'm selfish."

Emmett stood statue still where he was, Jacob between the both of us, a disturbed look on his face. He moved, only to dampen a cloth in the sink before wiping gingerly at my lips.

"Is that what made you sick?" Emmett asked in a quiet voice. I didn't have to respond. He was tugging his curls again, a habit I'm sure he picked up from Edward, "_Fuck_, blondie. I didn't mean-"

"I know." I shook my head, "It's my fault. You were only trying to make me see just how empty my head really is.

"I don't want him to regret this. Not after-" Flashes of the nursery, his lips on me, his lips pressed against mine came in a wave of comfort and anxiety. If I lost that, "If he knows what James is capable of, what _I_ am capable of...I can't do that to him, but even more to the point, I can't do it to myself, even though I have to."

"Edward knows what he's getting into." Emmett said with enough conviction for me to believe him if I wasn't so unsure.

**xXx**

I silently cursed my situation. Edward came back too soon from work to find me pale and sick and of course Jacob and Emmett had no trouble letting him know just what happened. And here I was not 12 hours later I was situated on Edward's bed, Carlisle sitting at the edge of the mattress, both hands on my swelling belly. It was almost humiliating. How was I supposed to tell Edward what was going on when he acted so liberally as to contact his father with every out of norm reaction my body went through?

I winced at the thought just as Carlisle's fingers pressed under my belly button, "Is there pain here?" He finally asked, watching my face carefully.

"No." I shook my head.

"Are you sure?" I nodded. Carlisle's hands moved until they were in his lap, "Are you alright, son?" He leaned back to give me a good look, "You appear healthy and your vitals are as they should be. If there is anything that you need to tell me?"

"I guess I made myself sick." I sat up straighter on the bed, attempting a more comfortable position.

"You were worrying yourself." Carlisle nodded knowingly, "Is it something I can perhaps help you with?"

I considered the question for a moment as he waited patiently, "Have you ever kept a part of you hidden from someone you love, like Esme?"

He watched me, brows wrinkling in thought, "I've considered it when we first met." He started slowly, "I never liked hurting my wife with the truth. Sometimes it resulted in arguments and disagreements, but in the end, it made our relationship more palpable. The truth can hurt and secrets do nothing but resurface when you least expect them to."

"It keeps things simple, doesn't it?"

"Lying?" He pressed the tips of his fingers together as he thought for a second, "Jasper, from what I learned as a father and husband, the easiest choice is rarely ever the right one."

"And what if I suffer from the truth?"

A hand patted my back in comfort, "Son, you'd suffer more from a lie." He pointed a scolding finger at me, but kept his tone gentle, "Like making yourself sick with worry."

An hour later and I was chastised for neglecting my health and journal. Carlisle left, giving me his last words of advice before Edward entered the bedroom, tray in hand.

"How are you, baby?"

I attempted a weak smile, swallowing my fear. I needed to tell him now before I lost the little courage I was able to gain from the talk with his father. If the truth changed everything between us, I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle doing this alone. But either way, it was something that needed to be done.

"Sweetie," Edward pressed, placing the tray over my knees, "Talk to me." I let out a shaky breath, feeling his hand cup my cheek.

"Edward," I whimpered, "I need you, I-"

The concern only deepended, "I need you too, love. But please, tell me what's wrong."

My hands clenched around the fabric on my lap and I bowed my head, willing that small courage to urge me on. He needed to know, I told myself. I lifted my gaze, my head still lowered, only able to watch him from between the locks of hair that fell over my eyes. Something in his eyes softened, but the pressure of his hand increased against my back. He waited patiently, "James...is monitering me through my doctor." I cringed at the loss of his touch. To my surprise, he was on his feet, staring at me in bewilderment.

"What?" His green eyes were wild with fear. This was what I was avoiding, but what good was it to hide?

"My doctor told me when she realized...that...it wasn't benifitting me...or us."

"And you didn't tell me?" His voice was just a whisper. He turned away, a hand frantically ran through his hair causing it to stick up wildly. I watched as he paced before me, muttering under his breath, digesting what I had just said, "Jasper," He finally spoke, "Why didn't you...?"

"I was scared." It was a poor excuse, "I _am_ scared." I corrected, wrenching my pajama bottoms.

Like a flash, Edward was squating at my side, "I won't let anything happen to you."

I shook my head, knowing that he would assume such a thing. James scared me, yes. He was a potential danger, he had the law behind him if he chose to step in as a father or worse, take my child away. He was a threat, but losing all that I built with Edward and his friends and family, losing my mother again, would destroy me. If I didn't have them, there was no way I could fend off James and any potential harm he could cause me and my child. If Edward knew anything else about James or my mother, a pandora's box of sorts was to open. It would be the start of the snowball, rolling down the hill, accumulating enough to completely annihilate what I had here. It was selfish and I knew it.

"I'm scared you'll run." His eyes dimmed and his mouth parted as if he wanted to speak, "James is...I know what he's capable of. Somehow over time, I became comfortable with you. I honestly assumed he was gone, but I was foolish. He wouldn't have gone through all this trouble for nothing...  
"Edward, James is my past, but he's also my present. He's a part of my life. There's so much of me that you don't know and...I'm afraid..." I couldn't finish. In all honesty, I didn't know how.

"You're afraid that I'll realize what a mistake this has been." My eyes shut and a rumbling tremble took over my body, but I allowed myself to nod in agreement, "That's not going to happen, Jasper." He sighed.

"You can't be so sure." At that, he rose, settling himself next to me on the bed. A bit of me wanted to pull away at the feel of his hand cupping my cheek, but I leaned in to his touch, content with the moment, no matter how it could end.

He leaned in, whispering in my ear, "I'll tell you this forever if I have to," A series of goosebumps rose along my arms and on the back of my neck, feeling the warm puffs of his breath, "I'm sure of you."

"Edward-" He didn't let me protest, pressing his lips gently against mine.

"What do you need me to do?" He asked, throwing me off guard.

"What?" If there was anything I wasn't expecting, it was this.

His lips pecked against my temple and I gave into his comfort again, "I know you're smothered enough by us constantly watching you. If you need things to change or to remain the same, all you have to do is tell me." This was easier than I expected, "I won't lie, every fiber in me wants to keep you in my line of sight at all times, but such a thing would be impossible and frankly I'd annoy the hell out of you." He joked with a weak smile.

"I want you to do what you're doing. I'm interfering in your life enough as it is," I ignored his snort at the statement and continued, "I feel safe with you. I always have, even as I knew he had kept tabs on me."

"Okay, so I'll be sure to tell the boys." Edward sighed. I could hear the restraint in his voice. He didn't want them to know for whatever reason, but they did.

"Edward, Jacob and Emmett know." There was a brief silence before Edward once again seperated from me.

"You don't trust me."

I felt my heart jump in my throat. God, Emmett was right.

"I do." I said meakly.

"Not enough." He shook his head before allowing it to fall in his hands. He looked exhausted, a man in defeat. I bit my lip helplessly watching.

"Do you see what I mean now, Edward?" I adjusted my clothes, attempting to get up off the bed, "It was only a matter of time." This was not the way it should be. I know I made a mistake. It was clear when Emmett completely lost his cool about my choice in telling them first. Somehow he knew...

"Jasper, what are you doing?" I was already walking towards the walk-in closet opposite his bed. Edward had kept my clothes there next to his as if we were...domestic. I wasn't sure what I was doing, planning to pack, just getting dressed. All I knew was that I needed to keep myself preoccupied. If he wanted me gone, I didn't want to think about it.

"I do trust you, Edward," I whispered, my back still to him, "I just know that I'm not _whole_ enough for you. It's not a matter of _if _I'll lose you, only when."

"Jasper, baby, what would make you think that?"

"Everyone runs."

"I can't run from you." He spoke silently, "The idea makes me sick, just as sick as hearing you say with such conviction you know I would."

I turned to face him, "Or maybe _I_ would." I corrected. He stared at me, eyes wide.

My eyes welled, seeing the realization in his face, "Edward, I know we promised each other... but I won't subject you to this," I motioned toward his tired eyes and defeated posture, "even if you decide to stay."

"We don't have to run, love."

"But it's what always happens. I run, or someone else does. I don't want to give you the oppurtunity. If you know where I came from, what I am..." I shook off the thought, "I left my home when I was 17. It was the second time in my life when I ran. I haven't spoken to my mother for 5 years," I lowered my eyes briefly to summon the words, "until I called her two nights ago." I felt guilty telling him all this now, watching the way his mouth fell and his eyes searched mine, attempting to understand why I was doing this.

He was on his feet, taking steps towards me in graceful strides before his hand was cupping my cheek again, lifting my face to meet at his level, "Love, please tell me."

My mind whired with conversations between Emmett and Edward. Words and expressions jumbled together bombarded my brain. He was still standing here after everything I said. Those sad, emerald eyes still focused on me, pleading to be let in. I couldn't deny him this anymore. No matter if he ran tomorrow, no matter if this hurt me later, I couldn't deny Edward the truth. I was selfish, but if knowing the truth made him happy, I'd do it no matter what the consequence did to me.

**xXx**

"Jasper, this is good." He smiled brightly. It didn't escape me that his hand so comfortably rested on the swell of my belly, "Do you think she could fly out here this coming weekend, or maybe for your due date?" He went on enthusiastically. I never spoke about my parents. It was something I'm sure Bella relayed to Edward, because he never asked. No one knew anything about them, no one but Edward. It felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders when I expressed my past with Laurent and my father's discovery of us or about the treasured moments with my mother lost when I suspected she knew my secret. It was particularly painful recalling the night I left home. I was still mourning my grandmother, still lost about who I was, but in a desperate need to run. Nothing could anchor me home, not even my love and need for my mother.

I missed her so much, too much. I could tell he read it in my eyes when I spoke of finally giving in to call her. The tips of his fingers caressed my shoulders as I spoke of our conversation and he gave me bright smiles, when I brought up her maternal concerns. And when I explained how she somehow _knew _I was pregnant, he glowed, pressing his lips against my forehead quickly before allowing me to continue. I understood his excitement, I even shared it, but no matter how much I missed my mother, I was still afraid of what she represented.

"Edward," I tried calmly, "I'm not sure I can...not now." His smile lessened, but he nodded, his thumbs rubbing deftly against my cheek.

"What's important is that you're speaking to her now," He offered gently, "Hopefully over time, you'll consider seeing her, when you're sure?"

"Okay." We sealed the deal with a kiss, before I pulled away, eager to let him know the guilt was eating at me, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"I wish you would have." He merely stated, "but I'm glad you did now."

"I'll never do it again." I promised.

"I understand it takes time to let me in and I know it's frustrating not knowing how I'll react, but always know this; I'm here to catch you when you fall. If something troubles you, love, I'm here. Even if you don't want to share it yet. Emmett and Jacob are great for support, but it is me that wants to take care of you. Leaving me hanging like that..." His voice trailed off, but I knew what he was trying to say - being needed was as important as having who you need.

"I'm sorry." was all I was able to muster, before my fingers clutched around his neck, holding him to me. The need for him was too great, "Please." As if sensing my panic, Edward used his hands to close the small gap between us, his kiss feverish and needy. With no steady rhythm or patience, we were completely devouring each other's breath, body and essence. His tongue, so warm and strong, entered my warmth, tickling and massaging my muscle getting a desirable moan from me. Our feet moved in unison, guiding us to the direction of his bed where he gingerly settled me down, leaning into our kiss.

"Edward," I panted, feeling the heat of his touch. His fingers, nimble and feathery against my fiery skin, made trails along my neck before they fisted my hair, causing me to hiss in our kiss. My lower abdoman tightened and tingled. I whined, feeling his thigh press against my sensive indicator to my carnal need for him.

"Mmm," He melted into the kiss, his other hand fitting between our bodies. He pulled back briefly to stare at me with darkened jade eyes, "Can I touch you, love?"

I nodded eagerly, "Please." It had barely been two days but I missed his touch, especially considering I was sure I'd never have it again.

As if reading my mind, he whispered into our next kiss, "You'll always have me, Jasper. As long as you want me." My head fell back against the fluffy pillow on the bed as the words sunk in. No matter how afraid I was of the future, it was becoming more difficult to deny the idea that maybe Edward needed me as much as I needed him.

**xXx**

**AN: As always, your input is welcome. Thanks for reading.**


	23. Thirty One Weeks

**Author's Notes: **I'm back, and yes, with a short chapter. It hasn't been easy trying to focus on this story. I have pent up sexual energy that's been directed at another story (**A Notch On My Bedpost)** and I'm trying to give myself a break since school just won't. My feelings on this chapter is mixed. For awhile now, I have not been comfortable with the quality I've been dishing out, but I've had you guys waiting long enough and whatever my mind is giving me, I'm just going to have to settle for right now.

**xXx**

**Chapter Twenty Two: 31 Weeks**

_I was trying to find a home._

_ And somehow I ended up in the small town in Texas, miles away from my bed in Alabama. I wasn't exactly certain why I wanted to be here. I knew gradma passed, I knew her home was vacant, empty of the tinkling laughs and lingering scent of peach pie. My childhood was spent in Alabama, but those stolen moments in that house with my mother was the last place I had left._

_ But I had no idea where I was. With the money I had, I still had time to figure it out. I found a motel, located on the edge of the small town, hoping I could piece together just what I was going to do. I took to taking the cab into the nearest urban area. Recalling where it was, rarely ever stuck with my memory, but it was where I went to look for something lost to me. And I did find something._

_ It was in a small restaurant next to a massive hotel._

_ And in there I saw him._

_ In a tailored suit, enjoying a coffee and completely into whatever he was working on. My eyes took him in for but a moment before I was escorted to my seat by the waitress. What I ordered, slipped my mind even then because I felt his eyes on me. _

**xXx**

"Did he talk to you?"

"No."

"But you came back and he saw you there?"

I buried my nose into his chest, inhaling his aftershave and personal scent. His smell and touch was all the comfort I needed.

"He did." A protective hand rested on my stomach as I spoke, "It was on the third night. The waitress sat me in the booth next to him and I - " I knew it was silly, but I felt the guilt, "Are you sure you want to hear this, Edward-"

"Very." His lips felt so warm against my temple, "Please, go on."

Seeking the sureness in his eyes, I finally felt it was alright for me to continue, "Okay."

**xXx**

_I couldn't make out just what he did, but I knew he was in business. And just like me, I knew his time here was temporary. He sipped on his coffee, occasionally rustling through some papers. Sometimes his phone would ring and he'd answer, an air of proffesionalism about him. I wouldn't pay attention to the words, just hear the rumblings of his deep voice, allow myself to take in his deep laughter to something his caller spoke into his ear. _

_ The night I sat next to him, I could smell the coffee from his mug, see the scattered remains of corn kernals and steak from his plate. I was finishing the last of my baked potato when again I felt his eyes on me. I cautiously raised my gaze to meet his. There was a curious look about him and I wasn't sure exactly what it could mean. Did he notice how I paid attention to what he ate, how he talked, the ringtone of his cellphone when it rang?_

_ "I've seen you here before, right?"_

_ It had been nearly a week since anyone addresed me in any type of personal conversation, "Uh, yes." I averted my gaze, but I knew the conversation wasn't over. _

_ "Are you a student at the University?" It never occured to me that someone would assume such a thing. The clothes on my back were clean, only because I hadn't gone through all that I packed, but I always considered my look to be that of a high schooler. I was only 17, and more clueless to the world around me than I originally assumed. To look like a college student, I would have to look like I had more of a sense of myself. I was sure he was smart enough to see I had no idea what I was doing._

_ "No." I answered honestly._

_ Something about the way he stared at me. It was no way like how Laurent watched me, curious dark eyes observing me with admiration as we spoke. Even two years later, I yearned for that attention, that desire._

_ He didn't make me feel admired, but this man made me feel..._visible.

_ "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you..." His eyes said differently. He appeared comfortable with our conversation._

_ "It's fine."_

_ There was a beat before he spoke again, leaning over to offer his hand, "I'm James."_

**xXx**

"He was forward." Edward commented, dipping his apple in the dollup of caramel before surprising me with the gesture of bringing it to my lips. We had taken a 10 minute break between my story of how I met James and what our relationship was like. Edward noticed that I hadn't eaten all morning and decided something sweet, tangy and light before we headed over to Rose and Alice's for dinner.

I hadn't taken a bite the whole while the food was between us. It was his way of showing me he noticed. I parted my lips, letting the sticky substance coat it right as the green slice bypassed my teeth. I bite into the fruit and my senses automatically tingled to life at the tangy taste. My skin flushed, before I licked my lips. That stare, that had once been reserved to Laurent was a roaring light in his eyes, much more matured and longlasting.

"He was." I responded after letting the tang run pass my buds and down my throat.

There was a sudden look of restraing on Edward's flawless face, "He took advantage of you, didn't he?"

I licked my lips, dropping my gaze in shame, "Edward, this week is about telling you everything. You don't deserve what I put you through and I don't deserve someone as patient and caring as you-"

"Jasper-"

"Please, Sug, let me finish." The taste was duller on my tongue, the color in the room fading to greys, "When I met James, he was on a business trip. We talked for two days and...I didn't tell him much, but somehow he knew. He said there was more in California where he lived, assuming I still wanted to go to school. And from there, he offered me a deal."

"A deal?"

**xXx**

_"You don't have to carry the child, honey." He watched me with calculated eyes, "All you have to do is offer me your genes. What science can do now-a-days is amazing." We sat in the diner, four weeks later after I had met him. The money, although not at its end, might be gone within the year and I knew a job without a GED wouldn't hold me. He was offering me security, food and most important, a chance at being free, able to be who I was. All in exchange for this; a child for him._

**xXx**

3 years later when James told me he wanted a family with me, I was floored. We had to make a union between us in order to have a child, but the plan wasn't for me to carry him. The A.I.S was supposed to be a a group of scientists I met once, taking tests and giving blood and gene samples. I wasn't supposed to know my son.

I told Edward I was tired and I'd stay home. I couldn't bear the hurt look on his face. He was angry. He finally understood how bad this really was, how bad _I _really was. I didn't allow him to speak and he didn't try. The palm of his hand was gentle and soothing on my back, but the stormy jade of his eyes were distant and contemplative.

"I'll call Rose and tell her we're not coming to dinner."

I sat up in the bed, moving the bowl of apples and kicking my legs off the end of the mattress. Our romantic atmosphere was long forgotten, "Really, Edward. All I'm going to do is sleep."

I couldn't keep my hands from shaking and suddenly it felt like I was back to square one.

He followed my lead, meeting me before I could stand up, "Love," He started, but his voice caught in his throat. I suddenly felt ashamed for what I had done to him, how I mislead him.

"Dont," I pleaded. And he didn't finish, yet I was still surprised to feel his lips press against my own. He cradled my cheek and I could feel his hands shaking too.

"I love you." He whispered against my lips.

He didn't have to prove this to himself or to me. I knew how much this changed us. And as much as I expected him to, he didn't leave me.

Like he promised.

**xXx**

_I didn't understand why she sprung to my mind. It had been a year since I last seen her, but on the plane with James, my mind couldn't spring free from her. _

_ Maria._

_ How different my world would have been if I would have listened to my grandmother. Those summers in the hot Texas sun, eating pies alongside my mother and Maria, the young girl next door.. We had become close friends over my visits in the last 5 years. She was beautiful, radiant and funny. Her body grew in her favor, curvy in the right places I guessed, but it meant nothing for me._

_ How I wished it did at that moment._

_ Life would have been easier for mama, for me and for my father. It was supposed to be Maria. _

_ Stolen moments in my grandmother's backward, losing ourselves in conversation. We were close for summer friends. And sometimes I felt how heavy her stares were. But she wasn't Laurent._

**xXx**

We hadn't spoken all night. I knew he wanted to, but his eyes betrayed what he wanted to speak of.

Would James take him away? And was I going to let him?

Had all this been for nothing?

Why had I kept this from him for so long?

He wanted to ask.

I spent the afternoon in the nursery room and he in the studio downstairs. It was the first day I was going without calling my mother. At this moment, I just couldn't. I sent a message to her cell, letting her know I was alright but too tired to talk. I knew she would push later.

I settled in the rocking chair, my chest tight and aching. My hands clasped over my lap before untangling. I tried to distract myself, using the nursery as a comfort, but it was only a reminder of the past and the inevitable.

I wasn't supposed to believe I was in love with James. I wasn't supposed to agree to what he proposed. It wasn't part of our plan, but I had wanted a family so much. I had wanted _him_ so much.

My cellphone rang bringing me out of my reverie. I glanced at the caller ID and frowned. I didn't recognize the number. I answered the call in a hesitant greeting.

"Jasper, it's Dr. Denali," She sounded off, "You're within the six week mark of your due date and before we confirm when you should come in for the delivery, we needto make one last appointment within the week. I want to make sure everything is set for the baby to arrive. What days are looking good for you?"

Six weeks. That's all I had to make things right.

I stared at the nursery walls, my hands unable to keep the phone steady at my ear, "Is today alright?"

The was a deathly silence.

"Today?" She asked to make sure.

She was the last person I had. If I spoke to her about this, perhaps told her everything, she'd help, "I really wanted to talk about some stuff regarding the baby and to make sure he is healthy."

It took her longer to respond than I expected, "Sure, Jasper. My office closes at five, but I'll stay an hour longer for you."

**xXx**

The cab was waiting outside.

I knew it was wrong to leave without letting Edward know where I was going, but it would have been worse if he knew. I needed my doctor's opinion on my situation.

I could make out the haunting melodies drifitng through the house. They were slow and ominous and unlike anything I ever heard him play before. I didn't have to guess. I knew his mind was still mulling over what I had told him. With a silent apology to Edward, I slipped out of the house unnoticed.

15 minutes later, I was greeted in the lobby by Dr. Denali. Her smile was weak and her eyes troubled, but she spoke as she usually did, asking me how I was and who was waiting for me. It was when I told her I was alone, did her smile completely wipe free from her face.

"Jasper, you can't just leave the house by yourself. If anything-"

"I didn't want to bother anyone. This was last minute and I really needed to speak with you."

"I understand that, Jasper, but you have to be careful." Her tone was hushed and urgent. With a fearful glance over her shoulder, she ushered me into her office. Her mood was contagious. My throat caught in my throat and my stomach twisted. Something wasn't right.

She checked my vitals and had the ultrasound machine ready for me to check on the baby. Even in our hasty appointment, I took the time to admire what was growing in me. He was healthy with a strong heartbeat and a thumb secured in his mouth. I couldn't wait to meet him. And I swore on the grave of my grandmother I'd fight to keep him. No matter what my promise was to James, it crumbled the moment he left me a single father. My son was mine and mine alone. The swelling determination was all I needed. Dr. Denali was fine in the knowledge she had and suffered enough dramatics between me and my..._husband._ It was time I was in control now. I had to fight. There was no time to hide anymore and I was done lying to everyone. My palm centered on my belly as I watched him move in me.

"He looks ready, Jasper." She whispered, a genuine smile on her face. It was sad and knowing, "I'm going to be on-call for you for the next six weeks. These situations differ with each parent. The developing pace for the infants aren't always the same. We're still unsure how much the first prescribed medication assists in that procedure, but your child may be pushing to evacuate within the next month or so."

I had shorter time than I believed.

"We do check-ins. If you're scared that the oppurtunity will strike at the wrong moment, we can have you here in the next two weeks for a 14 day maximum stay. Considering your situation, we do have to surgically take your son out of you and the pain of male labor is no picnic. It can be more painful than for a woman." She was rolling the machine away, going through files and papers with her back to me. The muscles in her shoulders were tense again and her mood changed dramatically within the minute of hiding my son from me on the little screen.

"Please, for the next week or so, try to keep calm. I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but promise me to stick by Edward and Dr. Cullen. Your health depends on it. Any type of extra stress can be detrimental to your last weeks carrying. It can result in complications." I nodded numbly, understanding that the intention of her advice was far greater than she was letting on.

"Is anyone coming for you?" She asked.

I grimaced in guilt before answering, "A taxi." She wore her disappointment.

"Jasper, please refrain from doing this again. It's important that you have someone with you. As your Doctor, I need to make sure you're safe." She sighed, looking defeated and tired, "Come on, I'll wait with you." There was no use arguing with her. She escorted me out of her office. The building was silent and deserted. Everyone on the floor had left. Officially the office was closed. Somehow in the bright lighting, the atmosphere was omnious. The sooner I left the building, the better I'd feel about my safety. I was sure part of this paranoia was in correlation to my doctor's insistant requests of me constantly being watched, but nonetheless I wanted to be out of there.

We both stopped walking when we heard the shrill ring from her office. It echoed down the hall to the lobby. Dr. Denali's heels clicked against marble before she sighed, "That could be someone important," She backtracked before turning, "Come on, it'll only be a moment."

"It's okay." I assured her, "I don't mind waiting." She appeared troubled, considering arguing, but the phone impatiently rang behind her.

She held up a finger, "One minute, okay, hun?" The clicks of her heels were all I heard as she departed around the corner. I let out a breath of air between my teeth, but it didn't take away the anxiety. The building echoed with the vibrations of the air conditioning and the voice of Dr. Denali on the other side of the floor. I paced the lobby, taking deep breaths, hoping to return to Edward before he noticed I had even been gone.

I knew my luck probably wouldn't last. He'd check on me soon enough. As if he could read my mind a few miles away, my cell rang, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. As expected, it was from him.

"I'm alright." I answered, "I'm just at the A.I.S office."

"Jasper," His voice was a strangled whimper, "Don't _ever_ do that again. Ever! Baby, my heart went in my throat when I couldn't find you. Do you know what that does to me?"

"I know," I tried to calm him, but it was a moot point. It was the only choice I had. I needed to come to this conclusion on my own. I couldn't have him or anyone else for that matter babying me anymore. It was time I faced my own demons, "I just needed a moment with the doctor."

That derailed his attention for the moment, "Is the baby okay?"

"He's healthy." My voice shook with pride and elation, "his due within a month."

"That's wonderful," And he was silent for a moment, "Love, are you keeping him?"

"Of course I am." I defended. I expected the question, but it still stung to see him question my connection to my own child. I wasn't giving my son away for anything.

"I'm sorry I had to ask, it's just if this is happening, love, we have to prepare for what's to come."

I paced the lobby, entering the opposite hall from where my doctor's office was, "I love you Edward and I know you'll do all you can, but please, you don't have to be a part of this."

"But I am." There was movement on the other line. I heard the familiar jingle of his keys, the door opening. He was leaving the house, "God _damn_ it, Jasper. Stop being so damn selfish and think of me for once. You can't just get up and leave, making these decisions on your own. Let me take care of you." It was unbelievable. I couldn't grasp just what he did to me, how he made me feel. He was still here after everything he heard, after everything I done.

Despite it all, I was smiling in the empty hallway, "I love you so much." I said with conviction.

I heard his breath catch on the other line. I hadn't expected for the words to come out like that, but I didn't regret it, "I love you too and I know you're trying." He whispered softly in my ear, "I'm coming to get you, love. Please let me."

"Okay."

"I'll call my father tomorrow morning and we can find a lawyer-"

"I guess this really is necessary," I sighed, A lawyer meant money. I was sure I'd be able to handle this one-on-one with James, "I was thinking maybe speaking to him..."

"I'd have to be there."

"Edward," I had to make an effort here. I needed to stop being selfish, "Okay, your way then."

"Thank you." He seemed relieved that I gave up arguing sooner, "Where are you now?"

I heard the distant sound of footsteps behind me. I turned, expecting Dr. Denali. There was no one there, "I'm still in the office now. The doctor is taking a call. She was adament about walking me outside."

"Good," He agreed, "I knew there was a reason to trust her. Wait with her outside. I mean it when I say this, Jasper. The next time you pull something like that, I'm keeping you prisoner." He was serious, but the forgiving side of him made the comment light.

I felt the pulsing heat in my cheek as I considered certain possibilities of being his prisoner, "Promise to be the Warden?"

"Handcuffs and everything, love." And to take things farther he added with a laugh, "I'll even see if I can borrow Emmett and Jacob's kinkier stuff.

I rolled my eyes at the joke, "Alright, Ed-!" The scent of leather was brushed up against my nose. Startled, I dropped my phone and stumbled back, just as an arm was thrown around my shoulders, a gloved hand over my mouth.

"It's okay, honey. I'm here."

**xXx**

**AN: Next chapter marks the date of Jasper Jr. coming into play. After that, its new chapter titles and more James drama. We're pretty close to the end, my friends and the fic is saving its punches for the last chapters. Let me know what's on your mind.**


	24. Thirty Six Weeks Part 1

**Author's Notes: **It's been a VERY eventful and craptacular semester. In light of the three papers and three exams I have, PLUS the 20,000 word one-shot I am in the midst of finishing for the Twilight Big Bang challenge, I will be unable to update anything else until after the 15th of this month. So that meant cutting this long chapter in half.

We're almost at the one month mark (again) for an update, and I figured it was better to do this than have you wait an extra two weeks for a 16,000 chapter.

Thanks for waiting and as always I appreciate the reviews from last chapter! I'm happy your guys are still here after all the mess Jasper has been getting himself into. Thank you!

**Characters aren't my own**

**xXx**

**Chapter Twenty Three: 36 Weeks I**

My shirt was still wrinkled and I could still feel the heavy pressure on my lips.

"I found him in the west wing of the floor. He hasn't spoken yet..."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Warm hands were cupping my cheeks, directing them up so eyes could, "Look at me, baby." I listened, "Are you okay?"

I didn't know if I was.

**xXx**

_ "Promise not to scream, honey?" He had backed us into a big office where a wide desk, stacks of papers and two high backed leather chairs reside. I could make out plaque awards on the wall and photos of an aging, regal looking man was holding a fish with a proud smile, vacationing somewhere in_ _the Tropics. My eyes focused everywhere but at him. I didn't answer, but he removed his hand from my lips, fingers sliding down to my throat. For a second, I thought he was going to clench around my neck, ridding my of my breath and eventually my life, but the thought was fleeting. James may have been cold and neglectful, but he never raised his voice or physically harmed me in any way. _

_ "Good, boy." He soothed, caressing my neck. I shuddered and pulled away instantly._

_ "Don't touch me." I was shaking in rage and fear, unable to control my voice, that of which came out as a tremble. _

_ "I need you home with me." He ignored my order, "It's time we prepared for our son." Son. Son. I closed my eyes, fighting off the urge to scream. It was probably one of the last things my doctor must have shared with him before she knew what he was up to._

_ "He's not your son." I hissed.. There was a brief moment of silence before he was hovering over me. I bit back a whimper, unsure of what he had planned. Strong fingers secured my chin and forced it up. _

_ "Did you forget, Jasper?" He sounded so threatening. That cool, professional voice I remembered as if from yesterday. He never hurt me before, but that didn't mean I feared he would someday. I had seen his rage, that abyss of fury in his dark eyes. He was a ruthless man and a loveless lover. That had always been his danger, "You promised me..." and his other hand was fastened on my belly. _

_ "No..." I choked out._

_ "No?" He challenged. I shut my eyes, willing him away. Edward, I needed name left me in a whispered wish and the tension in the room thickened._

_ "Yes, I know who he is." James said flatly, "and I'll forgive what you have done, because when the time comes, when _he_ comes, Edward won't matter. They're using you, honey. They care more about your condition than who you are. They'll leave you with our child and who'll be there to pick up the pieces?"_

**xXx**

"Jasper, love, please answer me." Edward pleaded, but I couldn't find the words. I felt my whole being was quaking. My vision blurred momentarily before my cheeks tickled with the trail of tears.

"It was James." My doctor spoke softly, "I know it was him. There has been reports of a man loittering in the building and for the last few weeks, I've felt like I was being watched. I know he was waiting for Jasper, but I expected you to be with him the next time he..." She trailed off as Edward pulled away from me, walking in the direction Dr. Denali found me. My heart jumped in my throat. What was he going to do?

"Edward, leaving Jasper's side isn't the wisest thing to do at this moment." Dr. Denali in a clipped tone. Edward reacted instantly, turning on his heels, eyes diverted to me.

"Jasper," There was such determination in his eyes, "Did he hurt you?" I willed myself to shake my head. Edward looked as if he was having an internal battle. I wasn't sure he believed me.

"We..." I gulped, trying to clear my throat, "We...just talked."

My doctor watched me with a pensive frown, "Did he talk to you about the baby? Was he trying to convince you to come back after the delivery?" Judging by my expression, she appeared to see her answer, "It was never my intention to tell you this now. I'm not even sure my theory is right, but-"

Edward looked between me and the doctor, lost. It was easy to make out the fury in his eyes. I had seen it maybe once before, but this time around, it was palpable, "If it's about that creep, I _need_ to know." There was no room to argue. Edward seemed set in getting an answer.

Biting her lip, my doctor hesitantly nodded, "He's a smart man, so I'm sure he's off the premises for now. Let's talk about this in my office." She waited until Edward's hand were in my own, before she walked ahead. The look in Edward's forest eyes were violent like a Hawaiian tsunami, but he held me like glass, leaning forward until his lips grazed my temple.

"Please tell me if you're not alright." He begged.

I clenched my eyes shut again, imagining how'd I be without him. Far worse.

"You're here." Was my reply.

**xXx**

_ "Have a seat." He motioned towards the chair and I didn't move, "If you're more comfortable on your feet then by all means.." He waved his hand, "But I only assumed you'd need comfort carrying the extra weight around. And I'm sure he moves a lot in there..." James smiled to himself with a sicken look of pride in his eyes. It made my stomach clench. Feeling for any movement, I wasn't shocked to find my son as still as I was. Perhaps he knew what his father was as I knew right then?_

_ "I was able to find us a home. A three bedroom with a spacious yard and two car garage in the neighborhood. It's right across from the elementary school as we wanted." When I didn't answer, he sighed, "I didn't leave you."_

_ "You did."_

_ "I had business to handle and I couldn't ruin our chances, so I had to take care of it, but I never left."_

_ "The last time I checked, James, not saying a word, packing your things at night and disappearing for a handful of months is _leaving._" There was fury there that I had been harnessing the last few weeks.. I had learned to be angry with James, but my fear had always overshadowed any anger I was capable of holding to me. But now, watching the face I had thought I loved so dearly, seeing how at ease he was with leaving a pregnant, clueless _husband _ behind, I felt more than abandoned, I felt in need of justice. He would _never_ have my son, if I stood alive between them._

_ My anger had not only taken me by surprise, but him as well. He watched me carefully as if to decipher whether the emotion was truly genuine or not. It was and his eyes narrowed at that realization, "Don't make this difficult for yourself, Jasper."_

_ "I'm not. It was you that made this difficult. And ultimately, it is you that'll lose something." My heart was hammering in my throat, but as I stood there, I remembered a relationship I was beginning to re-grow with my mother, a love for a man I never thought I'd have again and a comfort with friends I thought I lost years ago. He wasn't going to take this away from me or Sawyer._

_ Sawyer._

_ "I could have him taken from you by what you've done. The law requires for a stable household for the child, one with an _employed_ parent and a monogamous relationship. If the A.I.S knew of what you have been doing while I was out of town..."_

_ "...Or that you left me to fend for myself." I said back. His words scared me, but we both weren't innocent in this. _

_ "Let's be honest, here, sweetheart. I paid a lot of money for that child and the A.I.S. greedily accepted with no questions to required time and procedures. It would be easy to bypass such a small blemish."_

_ "I was _alone._" I cried, "And that's small?" My heart was beating too fast and my chest was clenching too tight. Anxiety. I hadn't felt it this bad since he left._

_ "Jasper," He began, but there were the click of heels and a ringing voice. He straightened, his facial expression becoming ominously dark as he realized our time alone was up, "Do what you will with whom you want now, but once our son is here, things will be as they were. Please don't make me take extreme measures to make it so." If there was anything that could frighten me more than seeing him alone, it was the idea him taking what I had away from me. He walked the short distance across the office to me and I froze. There was a calm in his eyes. I felt my heart clench violently as I stood there ready for what he would do. He surprised me with a possessively rough kiss, while pressing my chin in position between his thumb and index finger._

_ "Don't..." I managed a frantic whisper when our lips parted, "I will fight you until my last breath if you tried." There was a pensive look in his eye, but he said nothing more about it._

_ "I'll see you shortly, honey."_

**xXx**

"Did James ever tell you about his father?" Dr. Denali adjusted the frames on her face. There was an air of anxiety about her as she stood before me and a rather intimidating Edward. His shoulders were tight and tense, his usual loving eyes hard and distant as he stared up at my doctor. His hand remained loyally weaved in my own, but that was pretty much all the attention I was afforded at the moment. I couldn't blame his mood. My history was murky water that even I couldn't see through and it appeared as time went on with Edward, it was clearing up to reveal an overwhelming amount of skeletons. This relationship I had with him, whatever it was, there was love. It was blinding and confusing and I couldn't revel in it because I was too scared to originally. Even now, with eyes wide open, I was finding it difficult and quite a frightening situation considering my situation.

I prayed that what we had was more genuine than what I had with James. I had been fooled before, but now much more was at stake. And I was almost certain that fighting for my son would require a certain impulse I was known for using to make matters worse.

I inhaled deeply, putting my faith in Edward's promise to stick by me no matter what, "No, he's never mentioned his father other than what he told me about working under him." I answered. Dr. Denali nodded as if she suspected as much, but Edward's eyes met mine.

"Have you even met his family, Jasper?"

I shook my head, "Or any of those he worked with or friends for that matter." I shrugged, but it still bothered me. It had been a lonely few years with him.

"So you must not know that James father is dying." That definitely had our attention.

"What?" Edward and I said in unison.

My doctor sighed, fingering the dark locks that fell over her eyes, "I know you're well aware of James' work in resorts and housing communities. It's all his father's business," She directed at me. I nodded. I knew that James career took him to many places like Japan, London and Hong Kong because that's where their resorts and hotels were, "About 8 months ago, it was released to the press that James Edison Palmer Sr. was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They gave him 5 months to live to which he had time to pass on the business to one of his 2 sons, James or Caius.

"The problem here is that both men are close in age, although James is evidently the oldest. Caius, though, has a wife and already 2 sons himself, which weighs him more likely to run everything. Do you know where I'm going with his?"

"This is why James left me? To..." I couldn't form the right words, "Plead to his father on his deathbed."

Dr. Denali's brows furrowed in thought, "More so that James was securing his spot. By this point, he had a husband and a child on the way, did he not?" She suggested. And like that, my mind went ablaze.

"That's why he wanted a child." I felt my gut twist and knot at the idea of such a plot. It was bad enough I was a fool to agree to such a deal. I was alone and in need our security, yes, but perhaps if I knew his intentions...but this was years ago. His father had _just_ been diagnosed... "But what about before? We came to the A.I.S. before his father was diagnosed."

She nodded at that and planted herself in her office chair, "This company does research on potential parents and donators. We have to in order to secure that they'll be no types of malfunction practices or ethical issues with the children after. That being said, this company for the last decade, had been starving for funds and support and if you're willing to supply thrice of what we need for these procedures, a lot of things go overlooked. Of course, this lead to cases of underage pregnancies and two deaths that have been easily swept under the rug." I felt Edward's finger nails dig into my skin. _Alec_, I thought in panic. Could I really have turned out like him? Was Edward thinking this as well?

Dr. Denali seemed to read our expressions and spoke up rather hastily, "I wasn't going to let that happen to you, Jasper. I didn't overlook James. I did some deep research on him and his family and was sure to keep close to him, get as personal and comfortable as I could with him. I agree, that there are a lot of things this company does to ensure it remains here after every bill is passed through congress regarding the ethics of such practices. It's blurring lines, but there are those of us here that really do want to help." Her expression was genuine, but I didn't need that conformation. I had always felt comfortable around her.

"What did you find?" I asked.

Seeing that I trusted her, she partially relaxed, "James handles himself quite well with the press. There has been no leaks of his orientation. It hasn't hit mainstream media, but it also helps that he remains under the radar when it comes to public exposure."

"You mean he's closeted?" Edward finally spoke. His voice sounded rough and unbalanced. He looked to me for an answer, but Dr. Denali answered before I could formulate a response.

"Not exactly," She shook her head, "He just knows how to keep his life under wraps, not bring attention to himself. This company works on confidentiality as well. We don't disclose whom we're treating." It was better than I could do. Looking back, James kept me on a leash and made sure all our outings worked on a tight schedule. In fact, he preferred my time outside to be on my own rather than with him.

"In my digging, I had found that about 6 years ago, James' father was also diagnosed with diabetes. At this point, he was already reaching his 65th birthday and was already explaining that he was thinking about the _future_ of the company." A small feminine hand massaged her temple as she spoke, "And this is where my theory comes to play. I believe that James' identity had been working in his favor because it keeps him in the race. I doubt his father knew of his orientation, so that's why I assumed you never met him, Jasper." She jutted her chin in my direction, "I think your union and child has been a means to get what he wants, hence James, leaving proving to be no stain on his conscience, although I will say that when he left he informed me _honestly_ that his father was sick. What I didn't know though, was that you were completely unaware of this. I saw that no one accompanied you to our appointments and you were beginning to look sick. James wanted me to keep an eye on you and let him know of any updates, but it was honestly things you could've told him yourself, other than your weakened condition."

I sat there, silently absorbing all she revealed. Like a puzzle, pieces began to sort and fall into place. There was still gaps to the picture, but I was beginning to grasp what lead me to this moment in time. We had agreed on my giving him a son, but I never understood the extent of it and what it truly entailed. I never thought he'd leave, I never thought I'd fall in love with him and I never even considered what would happen when the bond between me and my son grew to be the beginnings of an unconditional love and desire to hold and keep him in my arms.

I was clearly clueless. And this was the result of it.

"You're not as surprised as I thought you'd be, Jasper." She said with a look of frantic worry as if she was expecting me to fall over from shock.

"This was a superficial marriage - partially." I corrected, "When I met James, we had come to an agreement that I'd offer my genes to give him a child as long as I was taken care of. The plan was for me to get my GED and go to college and start my life independently." I kept my eyes lowered, afraid of the same look I received from Edward - disbelief, hurt and confusion, "Then, right as I prepared for donating my genes to the A.I.S, he suggested I get pregnant instead. I didn't understand why. Then he mentioned a house and a family and I was completely thrown off. He began treating the relationship as a true marriage and..."

"You thought he loved you." She finished and with a heavy sigh leaned back in her chair, "Jasper, with one of the parents carrying the child there's an increase in a healthy infant and more of a chance for the desired sex."

I frowned, "Desired sex?" I squeaked.

She watched me with sad eyes and nodded, "I was almost sure you knew of this in the beginning." and then she let out a uncharacteristic groan, "But I wasn't as careful as I should have been."

"What do you mean?" I raised my voice, still not understanding what she had just told me.

"Sweetheart, science now is quite advanced and although it's not common for us to do this, we do offer the options of sex determination to the parents at a elevated fee. It's a 80% chance that the desired sex is successful compared to the 56% if the child was created in a lab."

My disbelief had reached new heights. It was too much to take in. The murky waters suddenly were a crystal blue and the skeletons were enough for a dead army. I let him take control and trusted in my naiveté that everything would be fine and he violated every part of me he could, as well as my child.

"I will say I'm surprised that he allowed himself to be this honest with you, but that must have meant that you had no intentions of seeing your family again?"

I thought of mama and her pies, my grandmother before she died, her silver hair flowing over her shoulders and she lightly scolded me about stepping in her azaleas, "No, I had no intentions." I whispered numbly.

Edward, in all his silence and intense thinking, gave my hand a generous squeeze, moving only to brush his lips against my temple.

Dr. Denali watched with a trace of a smile, "You don't know how relieved I feel knowing that you can say differently now."

**xXx**

It was an hour we were meant to relive for the next few days. First, and foremost, Edward had driven us to his parents' home, crashing a peaceful dinner between the two. It took one look to Edward and I, before Esme ushered us to the family room to sit down and discuss what occurred. Edward, having been pretty much mute up until then, spoke in fluid grace and clarity, catching his father up on just about everything I confessed to him about James and what we learned from Dr. Denali. Esme listened, a hand permanently over mouth throughout the entire conversation. I was surprised to see determination building in Carlisle's eyes with each revelation Edward made. Just as Edward finished, he was on his feet.

"This is happening sooner than I expected. Surely, he would have waited until the baby was born..." He trailed off, pacing. All three of us watched him in confusion.

"Carlisle?" Esme pressed. He snapped his head up, teal eyes meeting my own.

"Jasper, I take it you still have the journal I had given you."

I nodded, "Yes, I have it."

"It's up to date?"

I hadn't written in it in a few days, but that was only because there was no big changes in my body, other than the constant peeing and aches, "Just about." I answered.

He looked to Edward and back to me and hummed in thought, "Jasper, son, have you considered contacting a lawyer?"

"L-lawyer?" I stammered. Things were getting too chaotic in such a short period of time.

"By what Edward has just explained to us, it seems that James is intent on having your child."

I felt my blood pulse ice, hearing his voice echo in my head.

"_Please don't make me take extreme measures to make it so"_

My body wracked in shivers.

"He'll win that way." I disagreed, "And it'll make things worse."

Carlisle sighed, "Perhaps if we sorted this out personally with him-"

"No!" Edward belted out, "He's not going anywhere near him again." As if I was at risk of being taken then, Edward wrapped his long fingers around my upper arm, though not as tight as I expected by his reaction.

"There needs to be some form of confrontation for anything to get solved." Carlisle spoke, "And the conversation could be with just me only."

"I can't allow that." I disagreed in a small voice, "This is my problem-"

"Not when I care about the well-being of the both of you." Carlisle spoke directly at me with such paternal authority, I submitted to his words. At that, he relaxed.

"We still have a few weeks. We'll have to work out a solution."

Telling it to Emmett, Jacob, Alice and Rosalie wasn't as daunting. It had been nearly 11 by the time we stopped by. Hope was safely secured in a crib in the guestroom. All four of our friends sat on the sectional couch, watching us with varying expressions. The most representative for me was the look on Rosalie's face. She understood my dilemma a little more than everyone else in the room.

"Nothing is going to happen to that child, blondie." Emmett promised, "And if that means strapping you to a bed so you can't leave - well, you won't see me complaining." He winked, making light of the heavy topic. Jacob did his best to hide the quivering smirk on his lips.

"We'll have him on neglect at least," Alice spoke up, bold and sure, "There's no way the court can give him a child if he could abandon Jasper when he was at his weakest. And if they knew his motive..." She shook her head, a thinning set to her lips. She looked furious in her small size. Her short locks weren't disturbed by her sudden movements. She was on her feet, escorting me back to the couch. It had been an awkward 5 minutes, standing before them like a jury, yet not a trace of judgment in either of their eyes.

But when I looked at Edward...

I was trying to tell myself that the distrust was over, that I could believe he would stay, but it was nearly impossible that he could after all of this. And once the baby came, I knew with stress and exhaustion, he'd finally crack down and admit defeat. Standing there in front of his family and friends, I understood the comfort of having their support. I trusted them enough. But with Edward, he could see me bone deep, he could read my mind. He was the one who would ultimately see me day in and day out.

But was it trust that I was dealing with? Was it Edward I feared, or myself? Wasn't it just that I personally knew he deserved better, someone he had missed in the last decade?

Edward's eyes met mine and I could tell he was reading me. The furrow between his brows deepened when I broke eye contact, focusing on Alice as she spoke.

"Your boy has a family now, Jasper. There's nothing he can say against that. We can be his aunties and uncles." She was suddenly shining with excitement.

"And daddy." Emmett offered slyly, getting an elbow in the side from Jacob.

It didn't escape me that Edward's lips lifted slightly, "We should get back." He spoke softly, "It's been an exhausting day."

With some warm hugs from the girls and Jacob, and a rather embarrassing smack on the lips from Emmett, we were on our way. The walk to the car was silent, but his hand remained forever on the small of my back. He helped me into the passenger's seat and once he was sure I was secured inside, he got in, starting the engine.

I didn't have much time to think of the next few weeks and what it would bring me. Edward spoke, cutting off any trace of thoughts I could formulate, "What did he say?" He didn't need to elaborate. I hadn't spoken about what was discussed between James and I. I was still mulling it over, and sadly, thinking back to that moment amongst the quartet of friends, I was beginning to realize that his words were already imbedding themselves in my fears, planting seeds of more doubt.

"He wants the baby," I spoke, keeping my eyes on the passing people and cars out of the window, "and he wants me."

I didn't have to see Edward, to know that his jaw was clenched and his body was tense, "Do you want that?" The question took me by surprise. I faced him, making sure it was what he asked. The distant look in his eyes confirmed that he indeed said those words.

"You think I do." It wasn't a question. He was silent during most of the conversation with Dr. Denali. I knew he was sorting out the situation, but it never occurred to me that he actually believed I wanted a second life with James...not when I had a brief one with him already.

"Jasper, I know you'll want to make things easier on everyone, even if it means risking your own life. If you went back to him, you'd have your son and a stable life and you wouldn't have to worry about the impact you've had on us." He was right to believe I wanted no burden on them, but I didn't trust James. The possibility of a compromise was out of the question.

"You think I'd put myself in danger like that?" I didn't know whether to be offended or surprised.

"You've proven time and time again that your _decisions_ can have dangerous consequences." I was stunned into silence, "You left today without saying _anything_ to me. And it wouldn't have taken much time and effort to get over it, but Jasper, you were damn near kidnapped. What if he went crazy? What if you were-" He braked at a light, catching his breath, "In being selfless, you're being selfish."

That word again...

I didn't speak. I wasn't sure I was supposed to, "Love, I just want to know if you'll put yourself through that again." and like that, the words worked effortlessly from my brain to my lips.

"You honestly believe after what I've found out today, I'd trust him enough with my child? That I'd be stupid enough to risk that? _Again?_" I felt it, the swarming heat in my gut, the bubbling mess of confusion, anger and regret from my very brief conversation with James. It was like he planted this fury in me and it needed out, "I've been living with you for weeks and we have this _relationship_ and you're seriously sitting there believing I'd find something better with him?" My voice was rising with each word, until it was frantic and accusing. It was maddening that he could sit there and accept that as a fact.

"Weren't you just thinking the same thing today?" He shot back, making me speechless for the second time, "Like I didn't see it on your face, Jasper? You're second guessing this. You don't think I'll stick around after the baby, because clearly I have a thing for gay, pregnant men." He added with a bit of sarcastic malice.

"It's different for you." I spoke in a hushed tone, looking away as the light changed. Those eyes of his traveled through too many emotional currents, it was giving me motion sickness.

He argued, "how is it different?"

"I don't wish I see James when I look at you." It came from my lips almost as instantly as it came to my mind. My heart hammered in my ears as I realized what I just admitted to myself and him.

I wasn't Alec. I wasn't his first. I wasn't what he wanted. I wasn't the tormented angel he glorified. I was a young kid taking advantage to get what I wanted to live, even at the expense of another life.

_I wasn't Alec._

"Why would you say something like that?" the question shook me. I physically felt my body quiver. Yet, it wasn't the words, it was the anguished pleading, the tremor of his voice wrapping around that question.

We didn't share anymore words. I sat frozen and scared in the passenger's seat as I heard the shaky breaths he took to stabilize and keep whatever bottled emotions at bay. He parked the car in the drive-way not 10 minutes later, and continued to shut off the engine and unbuckle almost in a mechanical manner. I felt the trembling in my hands as I reached for my seatbelt, but he beat me to it, unlocking the latch before wordlessly getting out, without a second glance. I assumed he would continue down the drive-way to the front door, but he surprised me, by opening my side and offering his hand to me. I took it, rising to my feet, feeling the quake of my fingers in his steady hand. Our eyes met and I gasped, taking in how red-rimmed his were. Glassy green eyes, surrounded by the tint of red made my heart tighten in a guilty pang. I wanted - needed - to apologize, but he gave me no time for that, dropping my hand and walking us to the front door where he promptly unlocked it and ushered me in first before following. I stood in the front room, hands absently resting on my stomach as I watched him lock up the house.

"Hungry?" He asked in a weak attempt at sounding casual as he conveniently made himself busy as to not make eye-contact with me.

"No." I sounded just as drained as he did. It indeed had been a long day, and I, of course, made it a painful one by not only starting the string of odd events, but ending it with an ominous, black bow.

Without another word, he walked upstairs. Silence followed for a minute or two, before I heard the running of water from his shower and the soft melodies of classical music. I didn't follow, not sure I could bear the normalcy of sharing a shower or bed with him after what I brought to light. With one last glance towards the stairs, I walked pass, down the hall to the guest bedroom.

**xXx**

I didn't know what jarred me awake. Perhaps it was the absence of a warmth behind me or just the guilt eating away at what was left of my moral-driven conscience, but I awoke as if fighting off eager demons. I stared at the ajar door, sensing something I wasn't sure of.

It was closed when I went to bed.

I sighed, throwing the blankets off, knowing I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. The wooden floor was cold under my warm feet, but the chill that ran through me had little to do with the shock of the differing temperature.

It was the music. Somber and familiar. I followed the trace of notes, feeling my heart pick up pace, along with my feet. He was in there. I could make out the shadow playing in the dark. The door was wide open, letting the music waft around the house, heavy and alerting like the scent of coffee in the morning. Perhaps, it was that that awoke me. I couldn't be sure.

The music was haunting, slow and passionate like a mourning sonata. I didn't have to know what was clamoring through his brain to see that he was still thinking about what I said. I took several steps back, feeling the impact of what I may have unleashed. I needed to apologize, but I wasn't sure I'd make matters better or worse.

As I watched the his form move in the dark room, I felt the weight of the conflicting emotions in his eyes and in his music. I did this to him and like hell I wanted to make up for. Telling him I loved him this time wasn't enough. I turned on my heels, careful not to walk so heavily on the wooden floors. I walked back into the guestroom, grabbing my cell before taking the route to the nursery. Shutting the door behind me, I planted myself on the rocking chair facing out towards the open window. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon. It couldn't have been later than 6, but I knew who would be up at this time. Without glancing at the phone, I pressed the number 2 before hitting the dial button. The phone only rang twice before there was the _click_.

"Sug, I was beginning to get worried." My mother sighed serenely into the mouthpiece. When I didn't answer immediately, she spoke in a panic, "Sug? Jasper? Sugar, what's wrong?"

"Mama, I need your help."

**xXx**

The room glowed from the orange rays of the sun when I had finally stopped talking. It had all came out; running away, finding James, the deal...everything. I had concluded the conversation with Edward and our unexpected relationship and the countless impulsive acts I took to exacerbate the harm of my situation. I shared every fear that had crossed my mind while she remained silent on the other line. I knew there was a risk of her hanging up, of her being disappointed, but at this moment, I just couldn't find any reason to let that prevent me from telling the truth. It mattered more that someone knew what was going on in my head now than it needing approval. And now with Edward feeling the harsh sting of my words, there was no other person I felt that was right for it other than her.

I expected a long moment of silence when I finally let the last words out, but she surprised me, "Sug, I wish I had known earlier, but I'm so proud of you telling me this now," She cleared her throat, "I was always aware that you were different from other boys and I guess I was right when you left, but as much as your actions led you hear, you must understand that a lot of what happened to you wasn't entirely your fault. You were impulsive, yes, but you were merely reacting to a world you knew before Edward. Judging by how tolerant he has been through all this, I'm sure he understands."

"I upset him, mama." I felt the unsteady tremor in my voice, "All I have ever been doing is upsetting him."

"Have you talked about it with him at length?" She asked.

"No, I've been scared."

"But it shouldn't keep you from talking." She informed, using her maternal voice, "It didn't stop you from telling me."

"I owed it to you."

"As well as you owe him." She replied, "Work on this first, Sug, it's better if you've figured out the importance of this relationship with him."

"Thank you, mama."

"Don't thank me now, Jasper." She said sternly, "We still have quite a bit to discuss. I'm not quite settled on how the affairs of your life taken such drastic turns. This James _boy_ and the deal with your son..." I could hear her keeping her anger in check, but it was always like my mother to wear her emotions on her sleeve, "I should come down there myself."

My heart stuttered in my chest at the thought of seeing my mother, speaking to her in person. I didn't deserve such a gift, but I desired it so much after being without her for so long, "I would like that," I answered, before catching what I said, "I mean, if you came to visit." Then it struck me, "Mama, James doesn't know where I lived. Maybe if I came home-"

"Don't you think about it." My mother said darkly.

"But maybe if I left..."

"And what about Edward?" She asked. She didn't sound happy with this particular thinking process.

"If things don't work between us, then maybe I could-"

"That's not trying, Jasper!" She scolded, "You're already up calling it quits and leave again?"

"No, mama, that's not-"

"Jasper, you listen here, ears open," She sounded fierce and stern. I had no choice but to do as she said, "If he is as important and saint-like as you made him out to be then you're a fool, a blind fool to believe he'd just give you up for the state of Texas. The things this boy has been through..." She finished off as if she was conjuring images of every foul act I did to him. The guilt weighted heavy on my chest.

"Mama, I-" Then re-tracking her words, I found something odd, "_Texas_? Mama, why are you in Texas?"

There was a heavy, long sigh, "We can save that story for a later conversation. You'll know in due time, Sug." It was a cryptic answer and somehow I felt a cloud over the topic. Did she leave dad? "None of that now. You're not coming home. You can't run away from this."

"I'll fight him for my child, but I'm not sure I could win him legally, mama."

"You'll keep your child, damnit, if that means _me_ flying out there to make it so." I felt the striking fear in my chest, that small boy scolded for making a mess of the kitchen or for breaking her favorite ceramic ballerina. It was the fury of a mother and even though it wasn't directed at myself, there was still an ingrained conditional response. Not to mention, she was already upset with how I had been treating Edward, "Speaking of, I would love to see my grandson. When is he due and is it possible for me to be there at the delivery?"

Thankful for the change in topic, I answered, "He's due October 15th, mama and it would be great to have you here."

**xXx**

I closed the phone and placed it in my lap, giving myself a moment to relish what I had just done. It was a day of truths, some more liberating than others, but with my mom in the know, somehow the predicament I was in felt less bleak, no matter what the damages were and how much I contributed to them.

Edward...

It was time I figured out just what we could be together. It was time I was honest in my fears and my desires and it was most definitely time for me to apologize. It was a bit of a struggle, but I was on my feet, one hand gripping the arm of the rocking chair, the other protectively over my stomach. Sawyer gave a enthusiastic kick, causing me to smile at the way my hand lifted and fell at his movements. I could feel the intensity of my love for him already, burrowed in a nest, waiting to crack and open the day I could hold him in my arms. It would be then that we would no longer have the physical connection, that I'd have to do more for his safety. I imagined tiny fingers latched around my index, the gurgling of a whimper and smell of baby powder. He was so close now. My vision transformed into that of that tiny hand clasped into a fist around hair, a forehead meeting the tender brushings of a nose. Edward holding a bundle of blankets, a breathtaking image. I wanted that so much, but it was impossible, wasn't it? Before I realized, I was holding the handles of the crib, staring into the empty bed. The nursery was more than just a gift, it was a statement. Which could only mean that he pictured it - those small hands on his cheek, tugging at the wild strands of his hair, eyes staring up at him with adoration- before I even could fathom the image. This was our reality, our present and sadly I was the only one lost in the past. He had done and said enough with his grand, loving gestures. From the massages to giving me a place to stay to ensure my safety. Everything he said and did was an expression of love, a love for me that I'd never quite get, but _yearned_ and ached for all the same. My future in my minds-eye was littered with those tiny hands, but with those emerald eyes as well. They were a pair, packaged together. It was all I ever wanted.

I jumped, feeling the warmth of arms around me waist. For a second, I thought my imagination had ran wild, but the weight of the chin on my shoulder told me this was very real. I felt the even breaths on my neck and I gave in, my body molding into the chest against my back. I allowed my head to fall sideways, meeting his, locks tickling my cheek. It was a moment of pure peace, but I still felt the weight on my chest. I wanted him to know, I _needed_ him to know.

"He said that you needed me for one purpose only, that when I have the baby, that it will all change," I stared ahead at the bright outside, speaking in a hushed whisper, "He didn't know that that was what I feared already, but hearing it aloud seemed to amplify everything. It scares me, because I have no other picture for my future. As insane as it is, I want you there, not just because I can't do this alone, but somehow, through all this, I found my happy ending - you." The tears stung my eyes, but I didn't grant them access to fall, "I want to be yours too, but I fear that that time has passed for you. Your happy ending came and went and I'm this failed imitation at what you could've had. All I have ever done this far is make things worse than what they already were. I dug this hole into a grave, when it wasn't even a foot deep originally. I do want you happy, I do, but I know part of that could be a life without me, even if I want so much to be in it. I don't want to be this burden _or_ a reminder of a past. I don't want you fooling yourself with an illusion."

"You're not an illusion." He said in the same hushed whisper, "When I look at you Jasper, I don't see my past, I see my future."

"But what I've done-"

"Is make things harder. I won't deny that, but I understand it was never your intention to do so and I know where your heart is. I just don't want you to fool yourself into thinking you're not worth it. You _are_ worth this and so much more." His lips peppered my skin before he spoke again, "I'll be anything for you, whatever you need, even if it means being a father."

I lost all bearings then, feeling the string of tears slide down my cheek. He saw this future with me. I was granted a miracle. Fingers came up, wiping my tears, turning my face towards his, "Don't cry, love." He begged, "Shh, please, don't cry."

"I deserve to, after what I said. I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't think I could upset you like that. I really believed..." Hell, I wasn't sure what I believed, I was just so certain he was kidding himself when it came to me.

"You believed you weren't enough." He finished, " You couldn't be more wrong. Sometimes it's like I'm overwhelmed by you. I have to catch my breath when you turn away, or calm myself down when you fall asleep. You're a living, breathing treasure chest and I selfishly want all that you entail to myself, no harm coming from those with ill intentions. I'm happy I've had time to master self-control these last few years, because I honestly don't know what I would've done to you." A sparkle of lust ignited in his eyes before our lips gently met, "You were already witness to what your sleep-talking could do." He teased.

I was surprised, "You think about sex...with me?"

"And you don't?" He appeared surprised.

"I didn't think you'd ever find me sexually attractive, so I try not to," I stated, biting my lips when I realized what hiding from sexual fantasies did to my dreams, "Though, I do.."

"Dream about it." He finished, pecking my lips again, "Like I said; sleep-talking." when he caught the look of pure terror in my eyes, he laughed, "It's pretty damn sexy, Jasper."

"But embarrassing." I groaned, "I can't believe..." I shook my head, wondering what the _hell_ I must have said to make him react the way he did that morning.

He chuckled, "It's just one of the many things I love about you." He burrowed his nose in my neck, "I can't wait until he comes, so I can hold him and finally touch you the way I have imagined for the last few months." I felt my cheeks warm at the idea.

"We have about a month and a half." That image floated to the front of my mind, little hands and the tender smile of Edward. Then brief flashes of his hands on a flatter stomach, his lips around tender areas of my body. I shuddered, imagining him caressing me from within. We could have this future together. I had to bite my lip to refrain from moaning.

"I know, love." He empathized, "just a few more weeks until..." There was so much to wait for.

Until we could face James.

Until I could see my son.

Until I could see my mother.

Until I could hold Edward chest-to-chest.

Until a possible chance at a family I so desperately desired.

**xXx**

**AN: The next chapter will actually go through the next weeks pretty swiftly and then...BABY! Don't get all relaxed now. The worst of it isn't over. ;)**

**Oops, did I just make you readers anxious? **

**Tell me what's on your mind.**


	25. Thirty Six Weeks Part 2

**Author's Notes: **I'm back and with a new chapter! Thanks for all the reviews and support for Jasper and Edward. James is becoming quite the nuisance. I drilled this chapter out with a lot of gusto to make up for the long breaks and plus my deadline for one of my one-shots has been extended (YES!) so I had time to work on this after the finals.

This is the **LAST** of the "Week" chapters. After this, it's all normal chapter titles. It'll be weird, I'm sure...

Hope you guys enjoy!

**Characters not owned by me.**

**xXx**

**Chapter Twenty Four: 36 Weeks II**

_Her round eyes widened, brown orbs staring back at me. _

_ "Jasper!" She exclaimed in a tickling laugh, "That's not what I meant." Her accent wasn't as thick as when she was smaller, but it accentuated her excitement. I laughed along with her, cupping my hands around the soil, not minding the dirt caking under my nails. _

_ "He was really sweet." She continued, "But he's not my type." Her cheeks flushed, but she didn't elaborate. I nudged her with my elbow, "What?" She giggled._

_ "What's your type?" I watched as she looked away, threads of her black locks falling over her shoulder. She was beautiful, inside and out and definitely one of the reasons summer at grandma's was so enjoyable. _

_ She rolled her eyes, "I don't know, Jasper..." She sighed, "Quiet, but intense guys, you know?"_

_ "Really?" I elbowed her again in jest, "How about looks?" There was some joy I took in this. Over the school year we had both grown. Where I grew taller, lankier and my voice deepened, her body curved and swelled. We were the same, but something between us changed and I couldn't put a finger on just what it was. I found myself enjoying conversations about the boys she liked and the things she did with her friends; going to the mall, friend drama and sleepovers. In time, she became more social and I became more of a hermit. _

_ "Looks don't matter much to me." She shrugged._

_ "Well, he has to be cute, right?" I asked. _

_ "I guess so."_

_ "So...does he need to have green eyes, brown eyes? Is his skin a golden brown or an ivory white?" _

_ She laughed, "Jasper, are you asking me if he has to be Mexican or White?" _

_ I frowned, thinking over the physical traits I used before laughing at how she must have read my question, "No, I was just...you know...I wanted to make sure I covered as much as possible."_

_ "Well," there was a cunning smile on her pretty face, "I think you skipped sun-kissed skin and bluish green eyes." She waited until I caught on to just what she may have been implying._

_ I felt my lips form in a comical O and she giggled shyly._

_ "It's okay, Jasper." She patted my hands, before tending to the plants next to me, "I don't expect anything."_

_ "I-I didn't know..."_

_ "Of course you don't." She shrugged, "I don't think you know just how cute and fun you are." It was her turn to poke me in jest. _

_ I was flattered, truly flattered. In all the years I had known her, I wouldn't have ever suspected...especially considering our age. With an affectionate swell in my chest, I blurted out, "Maria, I think you're my best friend."_

_ Her head turned sharply, cocked to the side as she read my expression. I was sure I was beet red, "I think you're mine too." She said with a beaming smile. The Texas sun was overwhelmingly heavy and hot, but there in the garden, in the shade of the house, we worked silently together until grandma called us in for lunch. She had a stern look about her, but that didn't stop her from cupping both of our cheeks, giving us maternal kisses, talking away about how she couldn't wait for our wedding._

_ I caught Maria's gaze as she rolled her eyes and smiled. _

**xXx**

"What are you thinking about, baby?" His lips were next to my ear, warm breath fanning out on my neck. My hands moved around absently in the water, before I picked up the sponge, rubbing it along his lower thigh.

He moved behind me and I had to refrain from touching what was pressing against my back in eager need.

"A girl I used to know..."

"Girl?" I didn't have to turn around to see that his eyebrows were raised in question.

"Yes. A girl, Edward."

"Did you like her?"

"Well, yes." I rolled my eyes, picturing him actually jealous, "She was the closest thing I had to a best friend."

"Were you ever...together?" If he was trying to sound nonchalant, he was failing.

"No. I never saw her that way. It was like having a sister 3 months out of the year."

"What do you mean '3 months out of the year'?"

Without intending to, I explained to Edward about my mother's childhood town she was raised in. Though she left, to live with my father in Alabama, my grandmother stayed in the house even after my grandfather's passing. Over time, a new family moved in next to my grandmother's. They were a polite family, kept mostly to themselves but didn't mind the occasional company of my very neighborhood friendly grandmother. Through them, I met their daughter Maria her first summer there. Where I was shy, she was quite adventurous and outgoing. With her, I was capable of coming out of my shell a bit every year. With her, I gained a bit of courage.

Edward took the opportunity to use the sponge, "Have you asked your mother about her?" I hadn't thought to ask, but it was definitely something to do the next time we spoke. I internally smiled, thinking of our recent conversations. She repeatedly was asking about Edward. I know she wanted to speak to him. He did as well. He just didn't press as much.

"I think I should." I tried to get more comfortable, but couldn't lift my legs much, even in the expansive tub.

"You okay?" His arms were already secure around my torso, fingers massaging along my sides. He gingerly pulled me against his slick chest, causing the water in the tub to move in waves, "Try it now."

"I don't think I can move them much." I snorted, "You know, with this massive stomach and all."

"Mmm," He cooed behind me, moving his hands up the sides of my belly, "You're beautiful with this stomach."

"Right," It was sarcastic agreement. It was confusing that Edward would find me attractive in my condition.

"You are." He argued, a coy smile on his face, "I get to take care of you and dote on you and see you get your mother claws out..." His voice was husky and low. I shifted, feeling movement behind me.

"Edward..." I panted, "Don't..."

"Don't what?" He teased, pressing his pink lips on my shoulder, before nipping it lightly.

"Don't..." It was hard functioning on just what to say, so instead I focused on his complimentary words, "_Mother claws_?" I repeated. He snickered like a naughty child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"You get a bit protective." He shrugged.

"About?" I pressed, hoping he'd elaborate. I couldn't recall being overly assertive about anything.

"That conversation we had at my parents'." I groaned at the recollection. After things settled down a bit after James visit, Carlisle and Esme invited us to dinner, which was a polite cover for what they wanted to talk about; delivering the baby. Esme was more pushy than I had ever seen before, requesting that I be under her care. Considering this was an artificial pregnancy, more fatal things could happen. It was a gracious offer, but I had to decline - a few times. She wouldn't let up. And if that wasn't enough, Carlisle expected at least that he visit for daily check-ups to make sure I wasn't enduring any pain or discomfort. I reluctantly agreed to that. It seemed the worst was over, until Esme mentioned care after the baby was to be born. I had gotten lost in her lengthy speech about childcare, doctor appointments and babysitting. Again, she offered her assistance, but this time in company, staying a few weeks with me and Edward, taking care of the newborn. A brief flash of Mike's mother entered my mind and I couldn't contain the irritation I felt. I was impolite and harsh, claiming that I wasn't an invalid and was perfectly capable of taking care of my own child. I quickly regretted it, seeing the hurt look on Esme's face. She was a kind soul and was the first of the Cullen family I knew and was last to judge and always first to forgive and here I was tossing her help aside ungratefully. I apologized and excused myself from the table. I couldn't face his parents after that night.

Like always, he knew what I was thinking, "They're not mad, Jazz." He assured me, when I hadn't spoken, "My mother understood. She overstepped boundaries. She knows you need some form of independence, but she wanted to let you know that help was there."

"I shouldn't have reacted like that." I mumbled, watching my hands move in the soapy water.

I felt him smile against my shoulder, "It was difficult not throwing you down then."

I was thrown by his comment, "Huh?"

"I love my mother dearly, but sometimes she's too much. You have much more backbone than I do. If I don't want to give in to her, I avoid speaking to her at all costs. But you just...spoke up. It was one of the hottest things I've ever seen." I couldn't contain the laughter bubbling in my chest. The things he says...

"Ugh," He pouted, "I'm regretting inviting everyone over for dinner. We're going to have to get dressed." In our small world, I forgot we were expecting the boys and girls over. It was going to be the first time I'd see Bella in nearly 2 weeks. Edward got out first, grabbing an enormous towel, before helping me to my feet and wrapping me in it. He was nude, dripping wet, but not minding as he dried me off before wrapping me in my bath robe. With a peck on my lips, he asked for me to wait for him, so he could help me dress. I'm sure he didn't realize how much he reminded me of his mom right then. The both of them were so stubborn in taking care of people. It was just easier to let them have their way. I frowned, thinking that that wasn't only a Esme and Edward trait, but a _Cullen_ trait. What a family I walked into...

An hour later, we were dressed and escorting a usual rambunctious Emmett, who was carrying groceries, followed by Jacob, Rosalie and Alice. Bella was to arrive in a few minutes, seeing how she traveled separately with Mike.

"Fuck!" Emmett bellowed, "We hadn't had a night of debauchery in weeks!" He winked my way.

"It's not going to happen tonight." Rosalie said with a roll of her eyes at Emmett's over-enthusiastic energy, "Bella and Mike are bringing Eric."

"A newborn baby's never stopped some romping good fun," Emmett grabbed Jacob roughly around the waist pulling him in for a kiss, "Ain't that right, babe?"

Jacob responded with a sly smile, "Well, you were calling me 'daddy'." He kissed Emmett back and right there in front of us they enjoyed a rather intimate moment .

Rosalie watched them amused as Edward rolled his eyes and Alice gasped, "Don't tell me you boys did..._things_ while we were out and you were supposed to be watching the baby!" She exclaimed.

"Did you expect anything else?" Edward commented, before taking the forgotten groceries from Emmett and Jacob's side. We left the boys in the front hall as we unloaded the steak, beer, potatoes and chips. The plan was to have a BBQ in honor of everyone being free for the weekend. With the newborns and previous traumatic incidents, the boys thought it would be relaxing to have a night of food and games. I couldn't agree more. I was beginning to miss the bi-weekly nights at their house watching action and horror movies while hearing Emmett's explicit commentary on just what he'd do to Clive Owen given 5 minutes alone with him in a room.

The girls started on peeling the potatoes and Edward left for the backyard, starting the grill. I was left to cut the onions and cucumbers for the salad. There was no use asking for Jacob and Emmett. We were sure they disappeared somewhere in the house.

"So I heard about the incident at mom and dad's," Alice chuckled, giving me a knowing stare, "I can say for myself, mom has _never_ been turned away from help, even from the most stubborn." She flickered a quick glance at the backyard where Edward was. I knew it was coming. This wasn't the type of topic one kept to themselves and I didn't blame whomever it was that ended up telling. How I behaved was atrocious, "I'm proud of you." Alice winked.

I gawked at her, ceasing movements with the knife as to not cut myself, "Proud?"

"Yeah," She shrugged, "It was _torture_ having to keep her _and_ the boys from knocking down the door everyday. It's good that you put your foot down."

I could see Rosalie's profile. She didn't have to say much to let me know she agreed as well. It was astonishing. I behaved badly and I was getting the oddest compliments of approval.

Edward walked in, a smile steady on his face, "Alright, the steaks are seasoned and ready to fire up. Now where the fuck are the..." He began looking through various drawers for his grilling tools. I took that moment to bring to attention something I had been meaning to ask her for a few weeks, "Alice, how was the book?"

"Hmm?" Alice hummed, seeming distracted with the potatoes, "What book...Jasper? She finished, as if something struck her mind at that moment.

"That book you borrowed a few months ago. I wanted to finish reading it by the end of my pregnancy. It was really helpful."

There was no noise except Edward's shuffling around and the knife on the chopping board, "Ah, found it!" Edward exclaimed finally, having spotted whatever he was looking for.

"Alice?" I asked, stopping again, this time to see if she was okay. She had halted her peeling and was standing in front of the sink, shoulder to arm with Rosalie. Suddenly she turned, giving a panicked glance at Edward before finally looking at me, "Are you alright?" I asked. Did she forget something that the baby needed back at the house? I stared at Edward briefly, concerned. What was her reason for staring at him that way? Was it something I said? I stood there trying my best to understand what had changed the mood in the kitchen. And I wasn't the only one. Rosalie stopped as well, and was glancing at us a bit thrown off. Edward had finally looked between me and Alice.

"Umm," she stalled, "I-" The doorbell rang, cutting her off.

With a suspicious look to his sister, Edward started for the kitchen doorway, "I'll get it. That'll be Bella and Mike," He turned his attention to me, "Baby, I hate to do this, but can you get Jake and Em? I need them manning the grill as I get the door."

"No need to, Eddy boy." Emmett's voice boomed from the front of the house, "I got it." He stepped into the kitchen, his short curls a mess on his head, and his shirt buttoned awkwardly.

"Please tell me you washed your hands." Edward groaned. Emmett smirked, lifting his index and middle finger under his nose before sniffing deeply and humming in delight, "Ugh, just do it, Em." Edward pleaded before marching to the door. As Edward disappeared behind the doorway, Jacob entered looking more put together than his boyfriend.

"Don't worry, I didn't let him leave without cleaning himself up." Jacob commented, "Sorry we had to..." He trailed off. He didn't seem embarrassed at all, but that wasn't a surprise. Emmett and Jacob were infamous for their disappearing acts, "I'll start on the steaks." He grabbed the plate of meat piled on before disappearing out the sliding doors. I heard the loud greetings from up front and a whimpering cry. Not noticing I was rubbing my stomach, until Emmett was smirking at me, I turned away, continuing with the vegetables.

"Please tell me you two fucked this time," Emmett leaned against the counter next to me, "Lately, he has been getting wound up. He needs a good pumping to relax."

"Emmett," I started, knowing he was genuinely concerned about our relationship, though he wouldn't say. It was unspoken between us, but I knew that he was aware of just how hard it was for me to let Edward in - in all manners possible. Sex, or touching, would mean I was opening up and offering vulnerability. "We can't get there yet."

"Well did you at least-" He made a loose fist in front of his mouth before pumping it to and from his lips, making an odd sucking noise, "The boy seriously needs a happy ending."

I looked over to the girls. They seemed intent on cutting up the peeled potatoes. In a low voice, I answered, "He's very...attentive and has only taken care of me. I don't know how'd he feel if I just-"

"Took control?" There was a smile on Emmett's face that I could read like a book. He knew just what I could do to make Edward _loosen up_, "It's best to do it when he least expects it. While you're talking about something light or just when he wakes up in the morning. He's a stubborn giver and if he had it his way, he'd jerk and lick you until he couldn't move anymore. He's never been a fair taker." It was odd taking advice from a man that knew him intimately, but I knew I wasn't as experienced or skilled as Emmett.

"What if...I'm not as good as you."

"You know how to work those lips. I've seen you." I felt my cheeks burn red, "But it wouldn't matter to him. Have you seen the way he looks at you? You're the fucking sun and moon to him, I swear. It was never that way with me and Edward." Looking over his shoulder as if suspecting eavesdroppers, he turned back to me, leaning in, his voice barely high enough for a whisper, "but trust me. I've never known a sweeter blowjob than what Jacob gives, because it's _him_, you know? Seeing my man go down on me like that..." He watched me in amusement before using his usual loud voice, "Are you blushing, Jasper?"

"Hey guys!" Mike strolled in, looking a little winded but glowing, "Sorry, we're late. We had to stop by the store and get diapers. The kid is a beast." He exchanged hugs with Rosalie and Alice, before shaking Emmett's hand and pulling me into a side hug, "Good to see you doing well, Jasper." He said for my ears only, before walking over towards where Bella and Edward were entering. They were in a deep conversation, but quieted down so Bella could say her hi to everyone.

"Oh, would you look at that!" Alice cooed, already dancing over towards the bundle in Bella's arms.

"He got fussy, so I had to take him out the chair for a moment." Bella explained as everyone got a look at him. He seemed to have grown a bit over the weeks, his face less wrinkled, his eyes remarkably big and brown like his mother's. There was a tuft of black hair poking out, hanging like silk on his head as he watched everyone in the room with wonder. I hadn't noticed Edward was beside me, until I felt his hand at the small of my back and his lips at my temple, "Do you need to sit down for a moment, love?" He asked quietly as everyone talked in hushed voices over the baby.

I shook my head, "I'm fine. Just cutting for the salad."

"Need help?" He held me tighter to him. I had to look his way to know he wasn't staring at me, but at Bella's baby. I wondered if he was thinking about holding a different bundle of joy.

"I haven't shredded the cheddar yet." I offered.

"I'm on it." Finally settling his eyes on me, he leaned in, pressing his lips tenderly to mine before walking towards the fridge to father the block of cheddar he had purchased that morning.

The food was done in under an hour. Eric was settled into his chair, bundled in covers and comfortably sleeping in the front room. I had finally had a moment with Bella as she helped me prepare the salad and set the table. Mike played supervisor for Eric, being sure to check up on him every 10 minutes. They both looked exhausted, but there was this air of lightness to them I couldn't quite comprehend.

When the steak was cooked and on the table and the mashed potatoes were ready, everyone sat at the barely used dining room table. I skipped the beef altogether, tucking into the salad and potatoes and enjoying some homemade Iced Tea that Rosalie had made for the night. The parents chatted about sleepless nights, diaper changing and formula nutrition as Edward and I listened partially, occasionally stealing glances from each other or brushing our fingers together as we reached for our cups or a second helping to salad. The conversation had blurred and carried on and I eventually became lost from it as my attention was focused on him. The way his lips quirked up when he found something amusing, the manner in which he held his fork, how he glanced over at me every so often to check up on how I was as Mike did with Eric. Every small nuance about him was like a thread to a magnificent tapestry. He was an elegantly woven miracle and I just couldn't comprehend just how lucky I was and _why_ I had him. My heart hammered in my chest and suddenly I was unable to keep the fork steady in my hand. I gingerly set it down, taking deep breaths, trying to reign in on the waves of emotions taking over me. Being next to him was such an intense feeling now that the layers were being peeled away from my eyes - now that I was seeing what we were clearer and clearer each day. He tilted his head in concern, quietly asking if I was alright.

"It's...overwhelming." I whispered, so that no one could hear me.

"What is, love?" He lowered his fork, leaning into me, the hand that was resting on my chair, now cupping my cheek.

"Being lucky to have you." His eyes softened and there was an air of relief settling over his face, "I love you, Edward." I expressed, knowing I hadn't said it as much as he had. He sighed contently, coming closer.

"I love you too." his lips were a feather touch on mines, but it felt heavy and powerful as if he applied enough pressure to rob me of air. I was breathless, "You're so beautiful watching me eat, you know that?" His mouth lifted in a half smile.

"Did it make you uncomfortable?"

"It was making me hard." He admitted. I couldn't help the kiddish giggle that escaped me.

"Well, I apologize for that." I teased, causing him to snort in laughter.

"We'll just have to take care of it later." The suggestion made my heart jump in my throat.

"Or...now?" I coined and his eyes widened in surprise before he beamed. Emmett _did_ say take initiative when he least expected it, though I'm sure he didn't mean it that way.

Our exchange ended there just as we noticed the dead silence at the table. We pulled away, finally bringing our attention to everyone. I knew we hadn't been heard, considering our low voices, but clearly there was something everyone found interesting.

Mike spoke first, "You boys are quite the couple." He watched us with an odd look of recognition.

Alice smiled just as widely as her brother did not moments before, "See? What did I tell, you? Saw it coming!"

"It doesn't take a prophet." Bella snorted and everyone laughed, finally continuing their separate conversations.

"You boys are cute together." Jacob whispered, elbowing me gently.

"Yeah, that's no news here. But you two," He nodded his head in Alice and Rosalie who were chatting quietly amongst themselves, "So, are you two fucking or what?" There was a clatter of utensils hitting plates at the table.

"Baby." Jacob scolded. I felt my eyes widened in surprise. It hadn't occurred to me that they may have been a couple. Was there something Emmett knew that I didn't?

Alice, looking unperturbed merely lifted her head in defiance, "It's none of your business." She said in a challenging tone. Rosalie on the other hand didn't seem so defensive. There was a comical gasp from the whole table when Rosalie lifted her hand, placing it gingerly on Alice's.

"It's okay, Al. We should tell them." I felt Edward go rigid next to me.

Alice scowled before blowing out a puff of air, "Fine. Rosalie and I are an item. Anyone have a problem with that?" I found it odd that she was speaking to two gay couples, one of which were waiting for a baby to be born.

But I guess I was alone in comfort with their relationship. Edward choked on his steak. "Alright, breathe, buddy!" Mike exclaimed, patting Edward on the back rather roughly, until he was able to swallow the slab of meat.

"You okay, Sug?" I asked, rubbing the area Mike had patted, hoping to sooth the area. He nodded, but kept his watered eyes trained on his sister.

"I totally called that out." Emmett boasted proudly.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Bella asked gently, "You know we would have been fine with the news, honey." She gave Alice a soothing rub on the arm in assurance.

Rosalie answered instead, "We were waiting for the right time." She sighed, "We didn't really understand it at first either."

"Considering you both are such cocketeers." Emmett added in understanding.

Rosalie shot him a look, "Well if you put it _that_ way."

"How?" Edward spoke up, looking confused, "Why?…. How?"

Alice huffed again, "Thanks, Edward. Feeling the support."

"You know that's not what I mean, Alice." He mumbled, looking guilty.

"It was a few weeks after I ran from Em and Jake's. We had been talking nearly every night about what I should do about the baby and money and Alice had my back one hundred percent. I thought at first that I was just thankful for her support, but over time..." I was a bit surprised to see a complimenting blush on her cheeks.

"It didn't just happen. It was a slow build. Nothing happened until...well..._that's_ none of you business." Alice finished with a venomous tone, eyes narrowed at her brother.

"No one's asking, sweetie." Emmett confirmed, glancing over at me with a look of mortification. I had to refrain from smiling.

"I just don't understand why you didn't tell me earlier."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Well, you weren't exactly eager to tell me about _your_ news until I walked in on you and Emmett-"

"Who wants wine?" Jacob spoke suddenly, jumping up fetch the wine bottle in the kitchen.

"Wine sounds fantastic right now." Bella squeaked, looking a bit flustered.

"I'll get the pie we brought." Mike said with a little too much vigor. He was eager to leave the table as well.

I looked over to Edward, making sure he was alright. He looked pensive. I took his hand under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. He looked over my way with a beautiful smile, though it was weak. He was distracted.

"You should understand that there was a lot going on. With Paul and Emmett and Jake. They were overwhelmed."

"I just don't..." Edward shook his head.

If there was anyone who understood the girls' situation, it was me. James was a bad part of my history and with Edward taking me in, there was conflicting emotions. I was fearful that he was taking care of me, showing affections because of a robbed past. I wasn't positive how I felt about him, due to insecurities. I knew Rosalie was wondering if Alice would use her as Paul did, even if she was a close friend before. I knew she was scared the boys would find out and I knew Alice wondered what Edward and her parents would think. Not to mention, they were labeled straight women. It was easier to assume this could just be a fling, an experiment. They were smart enough to worry about their chances and talk about it. Just as I did with Edward.

"Do you trust your sister's judgment?" I asked.

"Of course I do." He sighed.

"Then let her make her choices. She allows you to make yours, right?"

He snorted, "Barely." But there was a hint of a genuine smile on his face, "You're right, baby." He replied, giving me a cartoonish smack of the lips on my cheek, "I know you understand this better than I do."

Jacob and Mike were back with the wine and pie and from there our dinner continued smoothly, though one thing had changed - Rosalie and Alice were openly affectionate with each other, with lingering looks and affectionate touches. It blew me away that they had to refrain from doing any of these things before. I silently thanked Emmett for opening his mouth. Unlike the majority of everyone at the table, including Edward, I knew that he was aware of his actions. He was doing them a favor. Sure enough, I looked over at him, seeing a knowing smile on his face as he watched Rosalie brush a strand of hair from Alice's face. There was a brotherly love in his eyes. My heart panged at the loyal affections he kept so well hidden from everyone. Jacob's hand weaved into his, before bringing his knuckles to his lips. He watched Emmett without the knowledge of his boyfriend, a warmth in his eyes.

Well, it wasn't as well hidden as I thought.

After dinner, we moved ourselves to the living room. Bella took Eric to the guestroom where he'd be unable to hear us. Leaving the door partially open, carrying a walkie with her, she was back, seated on Mike's lap in the comfy recliner.

"Ready to get your asses handed to you?" Emmett asked, grinning over at everyone. He popped the DVD in, and soon enough the menu for _Scene It!_ came up. We were paired into our groups, the game board spread on the table as we situated ourselves and argued who was going to roll first. The game hadn't even begun and the boys were exchanging promises of victory and laying down bets. I watched in amusement, preparing for the long night.

**xXx**

"Fucking cheaters." Edward pouted, walking back into the bedroom. He had locked the doors and made sure all the leftovers were put away for the night.

"They do own a lot of movies." I hoped that would make him feel better, but he pouted anyway.

"They just got lucky." he was donning just his briefs for the night. I watched with too much focus as he strutted over towards me. I hadn't the energy to lay down just yet, so I was propped against the headboard, pillow securing my spine.

"If that makes you feel better." I shrugged, loving the pout that deepened on his face, "I wasn't exactly the perfect partner anyway." I was just now being exposed to movies and television programs. I wasn't much of a TV viewer before.

"What are you talking about?" He climbed on the bed, walking up to me on just his knees and hands, "Love, you're the _perfect_ partner." I rolled my eyes. He was just trying to make me feel better.

"Liar." I called him out on his fib, but he seemed eager to prove me wrong.

"Never." He sported a crooked smirk. A sigh of arousal fell from my lips as he gave me warm kisses along my neck and shoulder, "I couldn't ask for a better companion."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "We are talking about the game, right?"

He shrugged, "Sure."

With a mock gasp, I grabbed the pillow next to him, slapping wildly at where he was. He was quick, diving across his huge bed.

"Get back, here, Edward Cullen." I tried at sounding convincing with a low growl. It wasn't like I was capable of moving around with a massive stomach.

He kept his ground across the bed, "Not until you drop the weapon." He compromised. I watched as he sat there in his navy briefs, chest rising and falling in small pants. He was smiling brightly, his hair more wild than usual. He narrowed his eyes at me, watching the pillow in my grasp, "Not moving." He sang out. He looked so jovial and youthful. My body seemed to tingle to life.

This was the perfect time.

"Fine." I shrugged, dropping the pillow on the floor, where we both knew I couldn't reach it.

"Better." He mumbled, triumphantly crawling back towards me. With a quick peck on the cheek, he lowered the comforter on the bed, asking me to crawl in with him. I did and soon we were laying together, me on my side, a pillow between my thighs for comfort and him on his back, arm wrapped around my shoulder. He reached over, turning the light on the nightstand off, before settling back next to me.

"Had fun tonight, love?"

"Mmm hmm." I nodded, feeling my pulse quicken at what I had in store. My hand was conveniently resting on his bare stomach. If only he knew what I planned on doing...

"Good." He seemed pleased, "I'll have to stop by the studio for a few hours tomorrow, work on a few scenes. We're nearly done with everything." He sighed, "Emmett will be home. He wants to take you out to an early dinner."

"Okay." I answered, too distracted with my mission.

"We'll leave around noon, so that gives you time to call your mother. I notice you usually call early in the morning." He babbled on, oblivious to my twitching fingers.

"Sure." I bit my lip, guiding my fingers down his abdomen. I felt his stomach tighten under my digits.

"Love, what are you doing?"

"Shh," my lips connected with his pecs, "I'm making things up to you as your partner." I pressed down, digging between the elastic band and the warmth of his skin. I heard his breath catch.

"Love, you don't have to." He panted, but his hips jerked up despite his protests, "Let me touch you."

I shook my head, humming in delight when my fingers skimmed his sensitive flesh, causing him to moan, "No. This time, Sugar, let me take care of you."

**xXx**

"I'll be back as quickly as I can." His hand cradled my neck keeping our lips sealed together, "Mmm." He attempted to pull away, but something had him leaning in again for another kiss. And another.

"You'll be late, Sug." His hand felt heavy on the small of my back. Something in the last 3 weeks since that harsh argument in the car changed things. There was so much that we let go and admitted to ourselves and these recent weeks we were finally being comfortable together, even with James hovering over like a dark shadow. It was odd how I could be in a room with Edward, our eyes meet and suddenly _everything_ was forgotten.

He pulled way with swollen lips, moving both his hands to hold my cheeks, "I'll miss you. Call if even you think it's nothing." I knew what he was referring to.

"I will."

"Don't play brave, Jasper."

"I won't."

"Okay." He seemed relieved that I was keeping my promise not to act irrationally before saying anything to him. He pushed my hair off my forehead before kissing the skin there, then my lips again, "See you in a few hours. Love you."

"I love you too." My cheeks felt hot. The way he had been staring at me all day did nothing to help my mind. I had been recalling the daring move I made the night before.

Finally he was out of the door, leaving me standing there feeling alone and melancholy. Another thing about the 3 weeks that passed - we hadn't spent more than an hour out of each other's sight. This would be his first time back to work in about a month. Emmett was sitting on the couch, leaning against the cushions, his eyes on the TV. I wasn't surprised to see a satisfied grin on his face.

"You totally juggled his coin purse." He said with a knowing look in his eyes.

"What?" I gawked at him, "Em-?" What could I ask, How did he know? If there was anything I knew about Emmett, it was that sex was his bread and butter. He could easily sense the connection between Alice and Rosalie when they weren't even touching or looking at each other, so it was a walk in the park seeing that something physical obviously just happened between Edward and I.

"Please don't tell me you don't see how different he's acting. I swear, it looked as if Christmas came early…Did it _come_ early?" He snickered, wiggling his eyebrows in suggestion. I took a seat next to him and sighed. It was no use hiding. He'd find out sooner or later.

"He wasn't premature, if that is what you're asking." I said, rolling my eyes.

"He made noises, didn't he? I always pegged him for a vocal fuck, but I swear, boy rarely made a peep with me." He seemed thoughtful. Shrugging, he grinned, "But then again, he never gotten hard at the sight of me."

I shifted uncomfortably. It was odd hearing him talking about Edward so intimately, but treat it with such nonchalance. I knew that Jacob was where his heart was, but knowing that there was a part of Edward he had that I didn't yet... It never occurred to me until right then, that Emmett had that over me. As if reading my mind, he spoke again, "Sex with him is going to be really different with you, I'm sure. They'll be fireworks and all that shit and I'm sure you'll having trouble walking afterwards."

"Em-" I groaned, looking away. Maybe he was right. I was the first person after Emmett that he took interest in. And he was _happy_. I recalled the conversation I had with my mother not an hour before. We were setting the date for her flight. She made no mention that my father was coming - which I was thankful for - and was scheduling for booking a hotel, when I explained that it would be fine if she stayed in Edward's guest bedroom. Something about that statement drove our conversation back to our relationship.

"Do you love him, Sug?" She asked tenderly, as if questioning if he proposed to me.

"I do. So much."

"He sounds like a sweetheart. Are you happy with him?"

"We have things to work out, but there are moments when I feel..." I couldn't explain it. Through all the confusion and insecurity and pain, knowing he was there, knowing I could touch him, speak to him, made things better than they were before I had him. I was scared like hell that this could be the illusion, but the difference between now and before, was that I was willing to take the leap instead of running. I was finally fighting my fears, because in the end, if this wasn't to work out, I still had friends and I now had mama.

I _needed_ him and it would be hard if he ever left. He was becoming my world, but I knew I could survive. I did it before.

My mother was scheduled to come the day before Halloween, two days before the baby was due and a few days after I'd be sent to the A.I.S. maternity wing in the Kaiser hospital in Hollywood. From what Dr. Denali told us, there was no _actual_ time for my labor. It was up to her to make sure the baby was ready. There were occasions where the artificial organs ruptured - a sign that the baby was ready - but mostly the tissues stayed enacted and the doctors had to perform an incision during the c-section. I was due to be in the hospital for a week, but I really didn't want the first time my mother was to see me in five years, to be under that condition.

Thinking about it made me anxious. An odd diving feeling took over me. I suddenly felt light headed. I leaned my elbows on my knees, holding my forehead.

"Hey, hey." Emmett was alert, "Do you need me to get Edward. He's probably not out of the neighborhood yet."

I shook my head, feeling like a fool for even letting my nerves get to me, "No, Em. I'm fine. Really nervous about the delivery."

"What's to be nervous about? The baby's coming in about two weeks, you got everything, had some hands-on experiences with Hope and Eric. You'll be a perfect, sexy daddy."

I gave him a weak smile, "I'll be seeing my mom for the first time in years as well."

Emmett's expression was suddenly serious, "I heard about that. Edward says you don't talk about her much."

"I don't mean to. It's hard piecing together the people from my past with the people from my present. It took me awhile to even tell my mom I was gay even after I was pregnant. I don't know what it's going to be like with her here."

"Does she know about everything?"

"Yeah."

"And she's still coming to support you?"

"Yes."

"Then you have nothing to worry about. In fact, I'd say be fucking excited. You'll have someone to watch Lil' Jasper as you and Edward explore life without a third party… If you follow."

My body was trembling slightly at the idea of holding my son in just 14 days. Emmett, sensing my discomfort, pulled me into his wide frame, snuggling into me as we continued watching television. We didn't talk much and that was a first. For being someone who was tactless and filter free, Emmett did have a good compass for observation. There wasn't much to be said to make me feel more comfortable about the coming future. It was a big deal, even with everyone on my side. I was sure Emmett knew this as he allowed my head to roll on his shoulder. I felt is chest rumble under me as he laughed at something on the TV.

Before I knew it, I was slipping into a deep sleep.

**xXx**

The rough kick woke me up. It was powerful and painful, nothing I felt before. I groaned, assuming I must have rolled slightly on my stomach.

I wasn't.

I was on my side, a fairly big sized pillow under my head and shoulders, a knitted blanket over me. The TV was off and there was the faint sound of water running. I sat up, stretching out the kinks in my neck, blinking back the sleepiness. A sudden wave of nausea took over me. The feeling hadn't gone away.

"Hey, Blondie!" I heard Emmett call from the kitchen, "I know you're exhausted, so we're doing dinner in tonight. Spaghetti and some thick, Italian sausages for dinner. Unfortunately they were fresh out of _Irish_." He winked my way. He caught the look on my face and his smile faltered, "You still feel bad?"

I shook my head, "No, just nausea." I stood on my feet and the wave grew exponentially.

"Whoa!" Emmett raced over, just as I wobbled, losing my balance, "Alright, I'll call Edward, then your doctor."

"Cut it out, Em. I'm just a bit sick." I sighed, knowing Edward would need to be aware of this, "Call Edward only." Emmett nodded, "How long has he been at work?"

"You've been sleeping the last three hours, so he's probably only had 2 and a half hours top to work. I'll tell him to stay put and that you're alright, okay?"

I nodded, "I need to use the restroom." I felt a heavy pressure on my bladder now that I was on my feet.

"Okay, I'll walk you there." As he promised, Emmett escorted me to the bathroom door. I walked in, feeling the Earth tilt slightly, before standing in front of the toilet. I couldn't move. It took a few tries to pull my stretchy pants down and attempt to go. It was as if I was bone dry. What was going on?

Then like a flash of white, intense heat, I felt the searing pain above my groin. I couldn't control the agonized scream that ripped through my chest as I held my belly. Something was wrong. Something was _very_ wrong.

"Fuck, Jasper?" The bathroom door banged open, "Shit, Edward, get over here now!" There was a clatter as he dropped the phone on the tile, "Where does it hurt, Jazz? Show me."

"I was panting, unable to speak, unable to breathe, "I...my..."

"Shit! Shit! Okay, okay..." Emmett was attempting to calm himself down, "I'm going to take you to the couch in the living room, okay?" I felt his big hands around my waist, "Do you need me to carry you or can you walk?"

"I can..." And it happened again. The stabbing pain that had me momentarily blind in agony, "NO!" I screamed incoherently, knowing the baby was in danger. He was in pain. What if something was killing him?

Emmett didn't need to ask. I was in his arms instantly, and he was carrying me to the living room. Laying me right back on the pillow and cushions, Emmett checked me over to see if I was situated right, "I'll be right back. I'm going to call your doctor and Carlisle. Can you hang in there for me while I make the phone call?" I nodded, feeling the perspiration coat my heated body, "I'll be a second." He left me in the living room, trembling violently, awaiting the next stab of pain. I heard him call Dr. Denali first. There was a hurried, panicked trail of words before he walked back into the living room. He leaned over the couch, pressing his hand to my forehead, "Yes, he is." He spoke into the phone. I could hear the mumbling of the doctor's voice on the other line before he pressed his hand to my belly. I hissed in pain and he retracted his hand instantly, "Yes, it's tender." He walked around the couch in my line of sight, before squatting down next to me. I whimpered, feeling his cool fingers pet my hair back, "Yeah, I can do that." With some last words, he ended the call, giving me a look of determination.

"Okay, Blondie," He was calmer and more collected now, "We're taking you to the A.I.S. office since the drive to Hollywood is going to be too far. Luckily this is happening at the peak of their hours, so they'll be a staff waiting for you. Can you move?" I was too scared to. I shook my head violently, "Alright, sweetie, I'll carry you to the car. Let me grab my keys and wallet, okay?" He disappeared again and was back in under a minute, tucking his wallet in his back pocket. He lifted me from the couch with ease, walked me over to the front door which he had propped open and carried me to his jeep. I cried out at the movement. It was as if my insides were tearing.

"Okay, I got you." He whispered, laying me along the back seat. He rummaged around in the front, before pulling out a discarded sweater - that looked much like the one Jacob wore to dinner - before folding it and tucking it under my head. He closed the door gently and he was gone again. I tried shutting my eyes, but the frantic movement in my stomach had my anxiety heightened. Something was very wrong. Emmett was back, jumping in the front seat, starting the engine. He looked back at me briefly as if checking to see if I was breathing, before reversing out of the parking spot. He braked suddenly, frowning. There was a loud honk behind us. Emmett checked the rearview mirror and let out a heavy, relieved sigh.

"Thank fucking God." He exclaimed. He seemed to be waiting for something. What, I wasn't sure. I gasped, hearing the backseat door open. My head was exposed to cool Autumn air and the person standing there, blocking the rays of the afternoon sun.

"Shit, baby." Edward's melodic voice was weak and terrified. I felt his fingers dig in between my shoulders and the leather seat, lifting me slightly as he climbed in. My head met his lap and I turned on my side, hugging his thigh to my cheek, "Have you felt anything in the last few minutes?" I nodded. He directed his attention to Emmett, "We're meeting her in front of the office."

"Okay." The car began moving again, "How the fuck did you get here so fast?" Emmett didn't sound upset about it at all, just in awe.

"I...couldn't concentrate at the studio. I was already halfway back when you called. I pretty much hightailed it the rest of the way. Thank God I left when I did. Traffic was already starting."

"And you got here in 20 minutes at 3 in the afternoon?"

"I drove on the shoulder of the freeway." Edward shrugged.

"Shit, you were _very_ lucky." To my surprise, Emmett maneuvered the car in grace, not as fast and rough as the first time I met him. Edward seemed thankful for that. His fingers stroked my waves and every few seconds he checked up on me, asking me questions, examining the pain on my face.

It felt like hours in that car, but we finally arrived at the office. They were swift and quick, helping me out of the car. Edward walked ahead as Emmett carried me, both heading quickly towards the towering building where I could make out a figure standing behind a wheelchair at the entrance.

"Put him here for me." My doctor sounded more assertive than I remembered, "We're taking him to the third floor. It's where our maternity ward is."

"What? Are you telling me he's having the baby _now_?" Emmett cried.

Edward, with a look of anxiety, didn't appear at all surprised, "They'd have to. His organs..."

I could make out the doctor nodding in my periphery. I was being wheeled through the double doors that lead to the lobby, "There are occasions where the artificial organs and sac for the baby are stressed. From the information I was given, it appears that it is still intact, but it is essential that we get him in that room before it happens." I kept silent, my arm protectively over my stomach. Edward pushed my chair towards the wide elevator, where we waited for it to come down.

"Jasper," She finally spoke to me, "Have you felt the baby move?"

"Yes." I nodded, "In the car."

"And the pain?"

"Not for the whole car ride." There was a _ding_ and the elevator doors slid open. I was pushed in.

"They'll be some nurses waiting for us. We're going straight into surgery, so if you two want to accompany Jasper, you'll need to get into scrubs." I felt sick hearing those words. _Surgery_. Oh God, I was having my baby today.

But I'm not ready.

I didn't plan for it now.

What if something happened.

I stared up at Edward, watching his emerald eyes cloud in concern and fear. The tips of his fingers caressed my cheek, "I'll be here, love."

**xXx**

The constant beeping was driving me insane. People rushed about around me, spattering of blue and sterile white. A metal tray with foreign instruments, the murmurs of voices tense and ready. I lay on the table, staring up at the lines of light and I couldn't help fear that this may not turn out good. The room was big and round, a long window along 1/3 of the wall, leading out to the ward's hallways that were vacant. On each side of me, I felt hands, strong grips of warmth. Emmett was staring down at me, his enthusiasm back.

"Everyone's on their way." He promised. For what? For this? For an surgery that we weren't sure could mean something bad?

The voices were becoming echoes in a long tunnel. I gripped both hands, knowing the drugs were having an affect. One was meant to relax my nerves since my blood pressure was too high to surgically go in and the other was meant to numb my stomach. It felt much bigger than after the shot.

"Okay, we're ready." The voice was low and drawn out as if someone in the room had control of the pace in conversation. I grunted, feeling my senses dull. Emerald eyes caught my attention. I watched them flicker in the general direction of the nurses. Pursed lips and furrowed brows. He looked concerned.

"Edward." My voice sounded deeper and slow as well. He looked down at me, a weak smile on his lips.

"I'm here." I knew he was petting my hair back, but I couldn't feel it. I wasn't supposed to be numb everywhere. I panicked, but I couldn't feel my heart pick up. In fact, the more I felt myself worrying, the slower everything was becoming. My eyes flickered around the room, towards the window out to the ward. There was a blur of light golden brown, as if I was catching the back of someone's head as they walked away. A tall, lean shadow...

_No._

"Don't-!" I cried out in a weak whisper, "Don't let him take Sawyer away." My voice was meek and small. I tried to yell it out, but I couldn't, I didn't have to energy.

"What is it, Jasper?' Edward leaned in. I heard the faint rustle of the scrubs rubbing against my arm, but I couldn't feel it.

"Sawyer. Don't let him take...Sawyer." A look took over his face, a look of understanding.

"Love, _no one_ is going to take him away, okay? Sawyer is safe. You're safe." It was the first time he said his name.

My mind was muddled, confused, but his words sank in. Even in the distorted echo, they sank in. I felt my lips draw in a lazy smile, "Sawyer Eli Whitlock." I whispered.

"Eli..." He repeated the word and I knew what he was thinking for the first time.

The name he always wanted for a son.

My heart clenched at the shimmer of tears in his eyes, "Sawyer Eli Whitlock. Baby," He choked out the words as if on the verge of tears, "That's a beautiful name."

A sense of euphoria rushed through me. He loved the name. He was going to protect him, protect us. My vision blurred and I wasn't sure why. Was I crying, was I tired?

"Baby," His hands squeezed mine, "Love, come on, stay up. You have to stay up."

I heard the distant sounds of movement, beeping and the deep rumblings of Emmett's voice. "Love, stay up for me."

A comforting warmth embraced me. The sounds were long gone down the tunnel, but I felt his presence. I felt him and I knew we were safe.

**xXx**

**AN: I know half of you want to stab me in the neck right now. Review your fury.**


	26. Sawyer Eli Whitlock

**Author's Notes: **I present you with the first "week"less chapter. It's a new (though shorter) chapter of Jasper and Edward's journey and quite more bumpy. I'd say we have about 4 chapters to go, not including the epilogue. We're nearly there guys and I want to thank you ever so much for showing interest and support in this odd and unusual tale.

But before we get to Sawyer, I'd like to update you on a few things.

**Expecting** and my One-shot **All and Enough **have been listed in the The Top 100 Twilight Fanfiction listing on A Darker Twilight, which is pretty damn fantastic. If you'd like to know more, let me know and I'll send you the link, so you can see all the badass stories (many I'm currently reading) that have been listed.

I'm also giving "Juicy" a decent clean-up. It's the start of a sweeping of grammar errors and typos of older fan-fics and also polishing before the final installment of "Juicy". Yes. Final.

Another interesting news update is regarding my recent absence these last few weeks. I was working my buns off to finish a 25,000 word fan-fic to meet a deadline. There was quite a bit of re-editing and brainstorming. It nearly sizzled my brain. I took a breather for awhile before tackling some side stories then working on this chapter. When the one-shot is posted, I'll provide a link and/or put it up in my FF account.

Okay, enough news for now. **READ**.

**I do not own the characters of course.**

**xXx**

**Chapter Twenty Five: Sawyer Eli Whitlock**

_The beeping was driving me mad. I turned my head each way, haunted by the big, open operating room._

_ "We're going to start the implanting procedure," my doctor had spoken to me in soft words, giving me reassuring caresses on my trembling hand, "It has become a much more simple procedure over the years and considering that these developed organs are from your own DNA, your body will nurture them and your' fertilized AU can develop the baby." She smiled softly. _

_ He was supposed to be here for the surgery. He said he would, but as I stared through the glass window, I couldn't make out any shapes or figures other than doctors in scrubs. _

_ "We're going to put you under, honey." She whispered, "Can you count down for me?"_

_ "10," I started, eyes still searching, "9, 8-" My tongue felt like lead and my eyes were heavy. My hand twitched and jerked, yearning for warmth to hold on to - to know he was there and that he cared._

**xXx**

The beeping. That damned beeping. Where was I?

A coo and a whimper. Who was that? My eyes felt too heavy to open and my limbs were like dead weights at my side. In fact, I _felt _something on my left arm. It was warm and barely held weight.

"Shh, angel," I knew that voice from anywhere. Edward. He was here, "you'll wake up daddy."

_Daddy?_ Who was here? I struggled to understand, but it was difficult when I couldn't open my eyes and see who it was. There was a rhythm of clicking heels getting closer, before they stopped somewhere near me.

"He'll be coming to soon. He's going to feel light and might have some slight nausea." I heard my Doctor whisper.

"What happened in there?" Edward asked. He sounded worry and stressed. I couldn't think why.

"He was having what I like to call a 'freak out.'," The tone was light and amused, so out of place after Edward's question, "He's fine, Edward." She seemed to notice the contrast.

"I thought I-" I hadn't heard him so fearful before.

"You didn't." Her heels clicked closer, "Jasper and his son are healthy."

And like that, I was able to move, to speak to open my eyes. There was swift movement, the weight lifting from my arm as my eyes fluttered open.

"Ed-" my throat was dry and raw. I coughed.

"I'll get him some water." The clicking faded just as I opened my eyes. Lights blurred my vision as I blinked against them. I couldn't see much.

"Love?" There was another whimper, a separate voice in the room.

"Is that him?" I couldn't help the sobs rising in my chest. It couldn't be. Was he really here in the room with me? Could I touch him? It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, but when I was able to focus better, I gasped taking in the sight before me. Edward, out of scrubs, was standing intimately close to my bed holding a bundle of blue blankets that had small, little arms with tiny fingers grasping and waving about. He took a moment to look down at the blanket, a gentle smile on his face.

"It is, love." The tenderness in his voice had my heart stuttering in my chest. That picture I had in my mind weeks before, never would I have believed it would come to fruition, that he'd be one of the first to hold Sawyer close to him, "Do you want to meet your daddy?" He asked in a tiny voice. There was no noise, but the little hands waved about more animatedly. He looked up, meeting my eyes. I couldn't ignore the shimmering green that stared back at me.

"You look beautiful with him." I whispered.

Edward gave me a watery smile and snorted as if hearing a joke, but the look in his eyes were of gratitude, "They let me hold him first after his vitals were checked. The nurses don't know much about the patients, so they assumed I was the..." He licked his lips, before holding his bottom one with this teeth.

"They must've saw the look on your face." My voice was still weak and shaky, but I was sure he understood just what I was implying, judging by the sparkling love in his eyes.

"Here, baby," He leaned over, angling the blanket between my arm and side. The weight was back on me and I was able to put two-and-two together. Edward made sure Sawyer was laying with me as I was asleep, "You can't sit up just yet. They have you in stitches and moving your stomach too much wouldn't be wise."

"I want to touch him." I whined, hoping to at least get a proper look at my son's face.

"And you will." I hadn't noticed that Dr. Denali was back in the room, this time with a clear cup of water. She walked over bypassing Edward, leaning over to the side of the wide bed to press a button. To my surprise and joy, the top half of the bed inclined. I felt the itch and burn in my lower stomach, but nothing too intense to express pain. Edward adjusted the blankets, allowing me to hold the baby in a manner where I could appreciate the view. A gasp left my lips again and to my embarrassment my vision blurred in a watery warp. Little furrowed brows and small puckered lips, Sawyer stared back up at me in wonder. It was hard to pin-point just what color occupied his irises, but I was able to make out the small fuzz of dark, blonde hair on his head.

"Hi Sawyer." I whispered. The wrinkle between his brow deepened and he whimpered again before a soft cry erupted from him. I looked up, hoping Edward was still close enough to the bed to see the reaction I received. I was met with a soft smile.

"He waited all night for you to hold him." Edward leaned over, petting my cheek lovingly before speaking in a much more quiet voice, "You went under unexpectedly."

"Was he okay? Did anything-" He shook his head, just as my doctor placed the water on the stand next to me, "Did he cry?"

Edward looked to the doctor quickly before looking back at me. He didn't speak, "Your little boy is a fighter. He was a bit fussy with the nurses while we checked his vitals and cleaned him. It wasn't until Edward held him that he quieted down." She smiled briefly before a serious look took over her face, "There are papers to be signed before you leave us in a day or two. It is procedure that you sign it once your health is stable and everything is going accordingly for you and your child."

"Papers?" I asked, unable to keep my eyes on her when Sawyer was crying softly in my arms.

"It's an agreement that everything went according to plan and the A.I.S won't be held responsible for any natural sicknesses that you and the baby may get once you leave the hospital." Edward answered without hesitation, "It's also a check-point for the parents," He added in a tortured whisper, "To make sure you're still together."

A panic took over me and I desperately looked between the two, "And what if we're not."

Dr. Denali sighed deeply, "Both you and James are still legally together. His absence, though negligent, isn't reason for any actions to be taken."

"What actions?" The fear in my voice was hard to mask.

"Love," Edward spoke gently, "If there was any suspicions that you and James were separated, the A.I.S. has the right to report it to social services and open an investigation. And if successful in labeling parents unfit, Sawyer can get taken away." My heart hammered in my chest at the thought. I was always aware that it was dangerous if they knew that James left, but I never could think past just what _would _happen.

And I was foolish to let such a thing slip past my judgment. It was important that I was to be prepared just in case I needed to take action.

"There's nothing to be concerned about, Jasper." My doctor spoke up, "In cases like these - if they ever happen - it is your doctor who expresses concerns. I don't have any intentions to do so, but I can't prevent the 90 day check-up."

"I heard about that." I nodded, remembering a vague description of a visitor coming to examine the child's health and the parent's emotional stability.

"They are meant as well to see how the parents are keeping up." She finished, "And they can report."

"Three months." I spoke to myself. A scenario was already playing in my mind, as if I was automatically searching for the "In case of Emergency" route. My eyes met with Edward's. I didn't need to say much for him to understand what I was thinking. Hurt flickered in his eyes but he said nothing.

"There's ways we can go around this, Jasper. For now, I can get your signature and report that James is out of town but you are under care of a doctor as well as family and friends. And you aren't to worry about actions being taken. I have spoke with Edward and Mrs. and Dr. Cullen. They have signed forms to assure that if you by any chances lose the rights to your child, they would care for him as temporary parents before farther actions are taken." She looked to Edward briefly with an awed smile, "It's a secondary and option we have here, to assure that the child goes without the haggle of stress."

I looked to Edward again and it was as if my love for him grew more. My initial reaction to all this was automatic, but I knew deep down there was no way I could leave him and what I had here. I knew there might be a chance of me leaving town if the threatened to take Sawyer, but it was too soon to speak of this. My attention was brought back to the source of this scrambled attempt to maintain chaos. Sawyer was wailing, perhaps at the tension of the moment, little arms flailing about. There wasn't much movement I could provide for him. My stomach ached and I was already feeling the last 24 hours catch up with me.

"I have him, love." Edward spoke gently. It was like ripping a limb from my body. I gave up Sawyer, watching helplessly as Edward rocked him gently.

"I'll contact everyone outside. Let them know you're up." Dr. Denali spoke before walking out of the room, leaving us alone again.

"Everyone?"

"Yeah," Edward rolled his eyes. Sawyer was already silent in his arms, "_Everyone_." We shared a silence together, Edward walking the floor with Sawyer as I watched, unable to hide the rushing excitement that was building in me. He seemed so comfortable holding a newborn, as if it came naturally - a paternal instinct. I rolled my eyes at the thought. It was a leap of a thought. They were easily the most important boys of my life, but it was a stretch to believe that Edward and I would fall in a family role as much as I yearned for us to.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"For what, baby?"

"For loving me." His eyes met mine in confusion, "For loving me enough to love him as well."

"Jasper," Edward's voice was a whisper amongst the loudness of humming machinery and beeping, "I don't love you or your son out of a favor. I love Sawyer because I know what a great human being he's going to be being fathered by you. I know that if I could choose anyone to father, it be him. I knew it the moment he waved hello from inside you." The intensity of his eyes made me tremor where I was, "And there's a endless list of reasons why I love you so damn much, but now we can add the fact that you created a beautiful being."

Once again, tears stung my eyes, "I love you too."

"You should sleep, baby. I heard there will be some physical tests for you tomorrow. Sawyer and I will be here when you wake up."

"When can we go home?" I asked.

There was a beaming, proud smile on my lover's face as he whispered, "_We."_ It was as if the world was offered to him that moment, "We'll be home in a day or two. Alice is making sure we have enough formula, clothes and diapers for the baby. Don't be surprised if her and the boys want to follow us home."

"I wouldn't be surprised." I laughed, feeling my eyes droop in weight.

"Sleep." Edward ordered gently, "We'll be waiting for you."

**xXx**

"Finally!" Emmett bellowed at the sight of me, "I thought I was going to have to blow a nurse to get to you."

"Emmett!" Esme scolded, but there was no holding back her happy grin, "How are you, Jasper?" I stared up at the collection of friends looking back at down at me and Sawyer. I told her I was feeling better. The last 24 hours had been a series of physical tests for me and the baby. I barely had enough alone time with him and I was beyond ready to leave. Edward had been the only visitor other than Carlisle who was allowed to visit. The A.I.S, unlike a normal hospital, were quite tight on outside parties seeing just what went on inside their offices other than actual doctors and confidential patients. Carlisle used his title of doctor as a means of checking up on me after the exhausting check-ups. He did his own separate check-up as well before asking a series of questions about my comfort and health before taking a seat next to the bed. I was able to hold Sawyer more freely then, allowing time for Edward to leave, freshen up and grab a bite to eat. This allowed some private time with his father. It was yet another alarming conversation about Sawyer and me. This time, legal concerns.

Carlisle briefly explained the necessity of providing a lawyer for me for the 90 day meeting with whomever would report on me and my custody over Sawyer.

"I don't understand," My mind was a whirl of custody laws and illegal procedures, "Why would I need a lawyer."

"Because, Jasper, due to the A.I.S's rush to get you fertilized and impregnated, they bypassed some crucial steps in securing your health and well being. They were bribed to overlook certain red flags regarding James and were reckless in their prescription of medication."

"What does this have to do with me and Sawyer now?"

"There is no way they can fault you for James's negligence if they helped facilitate it."

Carlisle sat with me until Edward returned, giving me his last words of support and promises to speak more on the matter when I was healed and rested. I got little rest , but was happy the following day that I was able to pack for home. Seeing the bright faces that greeted me in the lobby was a warming welcome.

"Make room, man with baby coming through." Edward spoke from behind me. I felt the wheelchair gain motion again, before I was escorted out towards sliding doors. I could hear Alice ranting about everything being ready for us at the house and Jacob commenting on the stress of hooking up the car seat.

"I should be _fucking_seasoned in it after changing between Emmett's car and mine."

"Language, Jake." Bella scolded with a giggle. I snorted from below, knowing she probably picked up the habit of G rated language from weeks with Mike's mother.

I got a whiff of sweet vanilla before a small voice spoke in my ear, "Rose sends her best. She had to stay home with Hope. She was getting fussy."

"Tell her I said thanks." I smiled, feeling a burst of affection for both girls. I had received endless offers from both of them. They were to visit every few days just to stop by and give baby tips along with Esme. It was a compromise we had come to after denying in-house assistance.

I heard coos and aww's as everyone had a chance to look over my shoulder at a restful Sawyer. It appeared even the roar of Emmett's laughter couldn't shake him from his slumber. I had watched him fall under Edward's remarkable talent. From what I could gather, he must had recognized Edward. Personally, I knew the affects such a melodic voice could have on a person physically. I wasn't surprised to find out that it was a reaction easily transferred to my son. When Edward held him, his eyes were wide and his little pink lips were puckered. He was eerily silent and when rocked, fell asleep almost at the drop of a hat. When he was sure Sawyer was out, Edward helped me in the wheelchair before placing him in my arms. He hadn't stirred since.

Until we moved him into the car.

"Uh oh." Emmett said with a teasing smirk, "Trouble in paradise." Sawyer didn't seem pleased with the lack of body heat to sleep against.

"Jasper, why don't you sit in the back with him?" Edward suggested, already helping me out of the seat. Emmett snorted and pushed him aside, before easily lifting me and placing me in backseat next to a very frustrated Sawyer. I felt a rise of panic at the wail of cries such a small being could belt out.

I looked to Edward, pleadingly, "We both know he'll calm down a lot quicker if you were back here with him." There was no way I was going to make the car ride if he continued crying.

"How about you both sit in the back. I'll drive." Emmett shrugged. Edward wore a look of worry, "Don't worry. I'll drive like a human being." Edward gave a small nod before taking the backseat with me. Emmett called Jacob, letting him know he was our driver and to meet him at the house. He looked over his shoulder, smiling as if entertained by the sight of us, "Okay, let's get Sawyer and his daddies home in one piece."

"Em," Edward groaned in annoyance, but I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. At the sound of Edward's voice, Sawyer quieted a little, letting out small hiccups of whimpers, "It's okay, angel." Edward whispered gently, then turned to me, a look of concentration taking over, "It'll be time to feed him once we get to the house. Do you want me to make the formula and you can feed him in the nursery?"

I nodded, knowing it would be better if he made the first bottle. I was still having trouble understanding just how such a simple process was done, "I know you won't scold him with the milk." I joked lightly, but he didn't seem amused.

"You wouldn't if you tried, love." He reached over the car seat, stroking my cheek with his knuckle, "I know you. You're going to be obsessive about making sure he is comfortable at home. Just look at how you got me to sit in the back seat."

I rolled my eyes, "So I'm going to be obsessive?" I asked. He didn't answer, rather moved his other hand to tenderly brush against Sawyer's cheek. We both watched the infant for the entire car ride, sharing a comfortable silence. Sawyer was still wrapped in a thin blue blanket, the harness of the seat safely secured around him, but not enough to restrain his hands from moving about. His chair faced towards the seat, allowing for viewing us only. He didn't seem too troubled with the movement of the car or that some of the attention he seemed stubborn for from Edward was averted to me every few seconds, a kiss on the lips or a loving glance. It appeared, that Sawyer - like me - was willing to share.

**xXx**

"This is your fault, you know." He grumbled, before pulling his arm from around my waist. I whimpered at the cold created from the lack of body heat against me, but it was nothing like the cries feet away from us. I could hear the shuffling of his feet before he whispered, "Shh, shh, my love." to the baby. The click of the crib's banister being lowered alerted me that the baby would soon be quieted by his comfort.

I sat up in the bed, fingering the bandage over my stomach, "Sug, you held him at midnight. I'll take him." I offered, knowing full well he'd turn me down again. If I didn't know better, I'd say he really enjoyed those stolen moment with Sawyer.

"No, baby. You sleep. You're still healing."

I laughed, "And what would your excuse be when the stitches are gone?" I teased.

"Shut up." He mumbled, letting Sawyer's head fall on his shoulder before patting his back.

There was no room to complain. Edward seemed on top of things the moment we stepped into the house. He rushed about grabbing diapers and wipes when I changed Sawyer, he jumped up when there was even a whimper of discomfort from the crib. If I was obsessive, Edward was _manic_ about Sawyer. I suppose the only time I outdone him in intense paranoia is when it came to leaving him in the room at night. I needed the baby within eyesight. I just couldn't leave him alone, not with James out there. Edward assured me that we'd have the baby-talkie and made sure to have alarms installed before we arrived back in the house, but I just couldn't risk it. I spent the first two nights in the nursery, asleep in the rocking chair. Edward was too concerned for his own good. He worried about my back and healing relentlessly, but I was clearly too stubborn to leave. On the third night, he offered to wheel the crib into our room.

"It's my way of keeping you with me at night as well as Sawyer under our eye." He told me after he secured the crib next to his lounge chair, opposite the patio door which had been permanently sealed while the baby was in the room, "I miss sleeping next to you at night." He admitted before giving me a chaste kiss.

And it showed. Ever since that night, Edward spooned close, pressing himself against my back and tenderly wrapping an arm around my waist. He'd whisper his love and devotion for me before we'd slip into a needed sleep only to be awoken 2 or so hours later by Sawyer.

"Should I get the bottle, Sug?" I moved to take the comforter off my lap, but Edward shook his head.

"No. This cry is different. He isn't hungry. You think he needs to be changed?"

"I wouldn't be surprised." I shook my head, thinking back to the last week with Sawyer. It was amazing how much diapers he had went through. Edward chuckled, before asking Sawyer quietly where it all came from, "Get the diapers for me, Sug?" I asked.

"Okay, baby." Edward handed me Sawyer before walking out the room to the nursery. He came back with a handful of diapers, giving me one before placing the remaining diapers near the crib. I still wasn't able to successfully handle diaper changing like Rosalie and Alice. On the second day home with Sawyer, both girls were patient with me. I practiced on Hope and Sawyer, attempting to wipe right, put the diaper on the right way and making sure it was secure. It took about 5 tries. After quite a mess from Sawyer, they taught me how to roll the diaper, seal it and bag it before throwing it out.

"It keeps critters from getting to the poop." Alice informed before tossing the bagged dirty diaper at Rose who scowled in disgust. Remembering what I learned, I cleaned up Sawyer, placing the wipes in the mess on the diaper before rolling it up and bagging it. Edward discarded the waste as I cleaned up the baby, making sure he was warm. Edward joined us minutes later, climbing on the bed next to us.

"He appears to be wide awake." I yawned tiredly. Sawyer looked up at the both of us, his little legs jerking about.

"Mmm and just when we were getting sleep." Edward sighed, pressing his cheek to my shoulder, "He should be tired, shouldn't he?" I shrugged, "Should we sing him a lullaby?"

"I don't remember any." I mumbled, "And I can't really sing."

"Me either." Edward pouted, "Mom would always play Bob Dylan."

I laughed quietly, feeling my shoulders shake, "Why Dylan?"

He shrugged, "She said it calmed me down."

I sat with Sawyer between my legs and Edward holding me from behind, thinking just what would have the baby counting sheep before morning. Then it struck me, "Sug, do you have a dock for the ipod."

"Mmm hmm." He nodded, digging his chin into my shoulder, "There's one in the guest room."

"You think some of your songs would put him to sleep?" He was silent for a few seconds, hands caressing my sides, "Sug?"

"You really believe that would work?" He sounded taken back and I wasn't sure why.

I turned my head in an attempt to see him and he pulled his face away so our eyes could meet, "It worked for me, didn't it?" His emerald eyes twinkled before he kissed me soundly.

"God, sometimes the things you say..." He trailed off as he got out of bed. Sawyer and I were alone again. I lifted his small body, feeling a sense of completion when his soft skin met mine in an embrace. Holding him made me feel sure of my existence, why I was here, why things happened the way they did. Leaving home, meeting James, befriending the Cullens. It was all for him. It was the only way things could be as they were, that he'd be here, safe in my arms.

"I love you." I whispered, "All 6 pounds of you."

Edward was back again, "Love, where's your-" He lifted his eyes, met with the sight of me holding Sawyer close. Something stopped him from finishing his question.

"What is it?" I asked.

Edward shook his head slowly, "I never knew that seeing you like this would be so..._rewarding._"

I frowned in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"_I_ don't even know what I mean. I'm just so fucking happy." He placed the dock on the night stand, "Your ipod, baby?"

"Oh," I pointed to the massive bag by the crib, "In the baby bag." He found it in the front pocket, smashed behind diapers before loading it on the dock, starting the playlist of his work.

"Okay, let's get little man to bed." I handed him the baby and watched as he rocked him to the music. The sight of Edward holding Sawyer never got old.

I yawned again, feeling the night wear me down. I was sure I had at most 25 hours of sleep for the whole week, "Daddy's tired." Edward chuckled, looking my way, "Let's give him a break, huh? What do you say?" He lowered the baby in the crib.

"Make sure he's on his back." I mumbled for the thousandth time that week.

"I know." Edward laughed. I watched from the bed as he made sure the baby was protected, but not suffocated by his environment, "I think its working." He jerked his head towards the dock which was playing a slow melodic tune I knew well.

"This is-"

"Your song." He finished. Even in the dim lighting of the room, I could see the burn of emotion in his eyes.

"Come here." I opened my arms. He didn't hesitate, climbing into bed, taking me down with him as jumped under the comforter. We laid in silence, keeping our ears open for any cries. Edward held me to his chest as our bodies relaxed. Our lips connected occasionally in soft kisses before sleep finally welcomed us back.

**xXx**

"So she's not coming then?" Edward sipped on his coffee, before leaning across the counter on his elbows. His hair looked more messy than usual, the darkness around his eyes apparent in contrast to his pale skin.

"It was her idea." I stated, feeling my shoulders slump, "She said I needed to become comfortable in my environment with the baby. Then she told me about when she first had me and how my grandmother was this nuisance she couldn't get rid of fast enough." I really wanted to see my mother, but I knew there was no way she'd change her mind. After speaking to her after the baby's delivery, she came to the conclusion that it was best to see me and Edward on the Christmas holiday, since there was already plans for a family function with my great aunts on Thanksgiving. "You'll have me from Christmas Eve to early January. I could help keep you sane seeing how this'll be Sawyer's first Christmas and you'll surely need help, Sugar."

"Like my mother." Edward offered. I looked over my shoulder at him, feeling guilty, "Don't apologize, baby. You'd be clawing your eyes out if you had said yes to her 'helping hand'. I love her, but she isn't a person you want looking over your shoulder when you're doing something. She's too anal."

"Nice to know you think such kind things about your mother." I teased.

"I'm sure Sawyer would be saying the same thing about his da-da come 25 years from now." I gaped at Edward in shock.

"Take that back!" I whined, pouting for good measure. Edward just chuckled, winking in my general direction before turning to Sawyer.

"Dad can't take a joke, can he?" The infant gave a wave of his arms, looking up at Edward. There was a coo from him, followed by what could only be described as a laugh. We both stopped what we were doing.

"What was that?" I pointed to over to Sawyer. I was still in front of the stove, finishing the last omelet. He was a safe distance away, on the island counter in his carrier, next to Edward. I could have easily mistaken that noise from a gurgle. There was no way he actually laughed.

"I think he found something funny, baby." Edward stared down at Sawyer, amusement in his eyes.

"There's no way he could be doing that so soon." He was only two and a half weeks old. Bella claimed that Eric started smiling a month ago and he was nearly three months. There was just no way...

"Maybe we're just funny people."

**xXx**

"Thanks for being here, Emmett." The last week with Sawyer was torture. It was difficult in the beginning, but the last 7 days made the first 18 feel like heaven. With lack of sleep and compounding worry, I was becoming easily irritated and frustrated while Edward appeared to be too tired to even speak or work in the studio. After a rough night of Edward getting up out of bed every 30 minutes or so, I offered to take over. I was met with resistance. I was well healed, so there was no excuse about my condition, but logically Edward brought up the fact that it was him that could put Sawyer to sleep quicker and longer than I could.

I knew it was the stress of learning Sawyer, worrying about what was good and bad for him. I knew that I was overly concerned about James and the canceling visit with my mother had me on edge more than ever since Sawyer entered the house. We were happier when we had the free time to eat, sleep and relax, so much of it we did in shifts while the other kept an ear out for the baby. It meant that we spent little time together. It was only a few days, but I was beginning to miss Edward, yet at the same time, I was beginning to envy his ease at handling Sawyer. Other than being extremely tired and silent, he appeared happy and light hearted, while the weight of my thoughts were crushing me. It was that that let to me snapping at him, claiming that he wasn't Sawyer's father and he had no clue what was best for him. Something between us shattered then - our perfect two weeks crumbled at our feet and I was reminded of how much of an illusion it was. This house, this arrangement. Edward didn't _have_ to live as parent. He could easily dismiss the both of us when and if our relationship ended. He wasn't bound by law or blood, not that that kept many fathers to their children anyway.

The realization hurt me, but not as much the look in his eyes.

"You're right." He gently laid Sawyer back into the crib. He stared at my son, a look of loss in his eyes, before turning to me, "I'm sorry."

After getting Sawyer to sleep, I went looking for Edward. I found him in the studio, the door locked and an aggressive wave of music meeting my ears. He hadn't slept all night. He never came to bed and the guestroom's bed was perfectly made like the day before. I tried the studio door again, but like before, I couldn't get in. I knocked and pleaded for him to open it. He only did so when I put Sawyer down at noon. I awoke, curled on the lounge chair next to the crib. I could feel his shadow over me as he held Sawyer and rocked him silently.

"I love you." He whispered, "I'll always love you." I couldn't keep the sobs from shaking in me. When he noticed I was up, Edward apologized, "You were asleep and he was crying."

"Don't." I begged, "You don't have to say sorry, Edward."

He nodded, "Right." He laid Sawyer back in the crib, "I changed, fed and burped him. He should be out for the next few hours."

"Edward-"

"You should sleep."

"Please-"

"I'll bring the walkie just in case." He grabbed the walkie that we hadn't used at all since we arrived home. I stood up off the lounge chair, following him. My hand shot out, grabbing his wrist.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I know you love him. I know you care, but I'm still scared. There's nothing that holds you to him, to me. Nothing but your word."

"And that isn't enough?" He asked, hurt.

"It is. I believe and trust you. But I'm not just thinking of now, I'm thinking of the future. I'm thinking about when he's 7 and wondering why his friends have two parents and asking who his father is if he hadn't seen him already or has been taken or-" I stopped, unsure what I wanted to say to him, what I wanted to express. I was just so scared of this bond they shared. I envied it, yes, but I feared more than anything that Sawyer could be robbed of it when he was already robbed of enough.

I felt Edward's gaze on me as I tried to regain some composure. He didn't speak right away, but when he did, his voice was gentler, "I'm scared too, Jazz. That you'll never stop running. That you'll take away my happiness, because you have that power to." And with that, he left the room.

I couldn't take the emotions anymore. I needed someone to talk to and that someone was Emmett. All it took was my shaky, gaspy sobs and Emmett stated he was on his way. When I greeted him at the door, He immediately cupped my face, looking at what must have been swollen, red eyes, "Fuck, blondie, you look like shit." The dimple in his cheeks were nowhere to be seen as he looked me over, "Tell me what happened." I explained as we took a seat in the living room.

Emmett let out a sigh, letting his head rest on the back of the couch, "And he hasn't come out since?" I shook my head "You admit you were wrong, I see." I nodded. He sat up, thinking for a moment, "When you went under in the O.R, it was pretty intense. It wouldn't be a stretch to say it was like you died on the table."

"What?" My voice cracked in disbelief.

"Your blood pressure was high and somehow you just passed out. You were breathing and shit, but I know Edward. After almost losing you quite a few times, I could tell he thought that was it." Emmett gave me a wry smile, "Over reacting of course. Everything went off without a hitch and you were fine, but he was shaken up pretty badly. He told me later that losing you had been his biggest fear these last few months, and now his world just gotten scarier, because he could lose Sawyer too."

"To what?" I asked, wide eyed and worried.

"I don't think that matters, blondie. He just doesn't want to or thinks he can survive a life without either of you." Before I could looked away, feeling the guilt take over, Emmett held my chin to face him, "That's not changing."

"What if he doesn't want me anymore after...some time has passed."

"I highly doubt it would happen, but if it didn't work out, Edward still wouldn't want to do without you," Emmett seemed so sure, "Things were rough between me and him after and our relationship was nothing like yours. We're good now, perhaps even closer now."

A crackle over the walkie and soft cries alerted us that Sawyer was up. I sighed, getting up off the couch, before Emmett stopped me, sticking his foot out to block my path, "I'll talk to him to calm him down. He's really hurt and probably scared, but you need to talk to him after. It's you that can reassure him."

I stayed up in the bedroom with Sawyer all afternoon, fearful of catching any part of their conversation. By 6, I was light headed and hungry. Sawyer finally had quieted after a rough two hours without Edward holding him. I was ready to make a quick dinner, but was surprised to see both Emmett and Edward in the kitchen when I stepped in. Emmett was seated at the island, leaning comfortably in the stool chair and chuckling as Edward stood at the stove, stirring something in a pot. I froze where I stood, unsure if I should walk deeper into the room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"It's your house too, blondie." Emmett shrugged, "We figured you'd be hungry, so Edward decided to make some beef stew." Edward's gaze met mine. I searched his eyes fearfully for any signs of disgust, anger, hurt, but all I could make out was that burning love staring back at me.

"Hey love." He whispered gently.

"Hi." I was still unsure of what to do. Did he need space, was he done talking? It killed me that I couldn't curl myself under his arm and kiss him with everything I had right there.

As if reading my mind, he reached out his free hand to me, "Come here, baby." I didn't hesitate, nearly jumping under his arm, hugging his side, before pressing my nose against the curve of his smooth neck, "I love you." He whispered for my ears only.

"I love you too. So much. I need you." My chest ached at the words. They were so true to heart, I felt as if I was literally offering that to him. I heard the scrapping of the chair against the tile before Emmett heaved a satisfied sigh.

"Seems my work here is done."

"Thanks Em." I turned, giving him a small smile.

"I think this calls for a returned favor." Emmett crossed his massive arms over his chest, wiggling his eyebrows at me, "What do you say, blondie?"

"Leave Emmett." Edward ordered, slightly annoyed.

"Alright, I'm going. But I want details after." Emmett left the kitchen. It wasn't until we heard the front door close that I turned back to Edward.

"I'll never say anything like that again-"

"Shh." He cut me off, "We're going to get scared a lot. It happens, okay? Let's just promise to let each other know when we are. Does that sound good?"

"It does." I was relieved that he understood, "I didn't know how much-" how much he loved me? It sounded foolish even in my mind. Perhaps I was never meant to understand it as it seemed that I was taken by surprise by the notion too often.

"I really do." He confirmed. Our lips met in a long, needy kiss until he pulled away, only to check on the stew, "I know you're hungry, baby."

For so much more than he implied, "I am."

**xXx**

"Ridiculous." Edward scowled at the Cullen house. We were parked in the driveway, still seated in the car, too tired to get out. It was a nippy December evening, only a two weeks from Christmas and we were finally getting a handle on Sawyer and his schedule.

And finally getting a sliver of time back.

Each night after putting Sawyer in his crib - which was moved back to the nursery - we'd lay in bed, wrapped in each other's arms and legs. On rough nights, we'd fall right to sleep and on others we'd become entangled in each other, sharing kisses, caresses and our affection. We were only lucky a few times. Edward's mouth would take me deep and I'd return the favor after, but that was as far as it got before we fell asleep. We entertained the thought of going farther, even discussing if it was necessary to use protection seeing how I was clean and he got a check-up after his last sexual relationship. It was a step closer, but not quite there.

We had become more social as well, inviting a friend over every few days for dinner and catch-up. Carlisle and Esme came over every Monday for brunch as well as a weekly look at my emotional and physical health. It seemed that they were incapable of turning off their maternal and paternal nature as well as their professional eye.

We hadn't seen much of Alice and Rosalie in the last month or so and I wondered if it was that that had us at the Cullens house this night. Alice called us the night before, a bit more serious than usual, requesting (though we took it for the order that it really was ) our company for dinner - a family dinner.

In the shadow of the Cullen manor, it was odd seeing Edward's Volvo parked in the drive-way ahead, "I still don't understand why your father was so determined to trade cars."

"Mom put him up to it." Edward shook his head, "She said a two door car was a death trap for the baby. " I couldn't argue with that. It was quite difficult to get him buckled in even if for a two door, it was roomier than most others. We got out the Mercedes - which I knew months before as Carlisle's car - and took to unbuckling Sawyer from the car. We stepped up to the front door, both rolling our eyes at the festive wreath on the massive wooden door before it opened.

"Oh honey, get him out of the cold!" Esme moved aside, allowing me to step inside with the carrier, "He's gotten so big." Esme cooed, kissing my cheek first, then Edward's.

"Good to know, because he eats like a bear." Edward chuckled. He politely forgot to mention that food was faster coming out of him than going in.

"Put him in the family room, honey. Rosalie is in there feeding Hope." I nodded, walking through the house, familiar with the layout. There was the scent of ginger cookies and pine. I walked into the just as Rosalie was laying her daughter down to sleep.

"Hey, Jasper." Rosalie looked up at me with a tender smile, "You look well rested. Sawyer finally cutting you some slack?"

I slipped out of my coat, pulling off my cap as well, "He's let up a bit, but I think I mostly just got used to sleeping a few hours a night." At that, she gave a knowing chuckle, "What have you been up to? I haven't seen you and Alice in a few weeks. Everything alright?" I asked, noticing how her expression changed.

"Been busy with Hope. I think she's coming to understand that she can get her way between the two of us." It didn't really answer my question, but I wasn't going to press, "Leave Sawyer here. Hope's not quite out yet. I can watch the both of them. Carlisle and Alice have been meaning to see you."

"You sure?" I placed Sawyer's carrier at Rosalie's feet. She nodded, a smile already gracing her features as she leaned over to examine Sawyer's sleeping form. His hair was more distinct in color, a wheat blonde just like mine. And although she couldn't see it now, his eyes were a beautiful, bright brown, almost hazel. Coupled with his rosy cheeks and plump lips, he was beginning to look like a china doll. It was something Edward noticed first, chuckling as he commented that it was no surprise that my son looked angelic like his father.

I left the family room, stepping into the massive kitchen where Esme was busily pulling dinner rolls out of the oven. Carlisle stood behind the counter talking lowly, a mug in his hand. His eyes were tight, his skin wrinkled in worry. There was a weathered look about him, one I hadn't seen in awhile. His youthful face now a face of a middle aged man. He didn't seem to notice my presence until I cleared my throat.

"Jasper, how are you, son?" He walked over, patting me on the back, "Edward told me that you finally slept well last night." I felt my cheeks burn at the thought of Edward going into detail as to _why_ I slept so well the night before.

"I have."

"That's good to hear." He nodded, a smile on his face. It was disconcerting to see that it didn't reach his eyes.

"Is Edward with Alice?"s

"Yes." Carlisle nodded solemnly, "They are in the backyard." I found that odd, but I nodded, unsure if I was supposed to follow or not. I chose to give them a moment to themselves. I peeked on Sawyer, making sure he was alright. Rose still sat in the same spot, rubbing Hope's back in soothing circles as she slept on her side. I smiled, enjoying the sight of her finally at ease in her role as a parent. Rosalie over the last few months seemed to bud into something I never expected making it was difficult to accept she was the shut-in only months before.

Heaving I sigh, I figured now would be the perfect time to check Sawyer and make sure he wasn't hungry or needed a change. I cringed, realizing my mistake of leaving the baby's bag in the car.

I walked through the long hall to the front door. There was no point locking the doors when the property was gated, so I didn't need the car keys. Throwing the door open, I was surprised to be met face-to-face with a young women about my age. She was wearing a thick, red scarf, dark wool jacket and black boots. Her blonde hair was shoulder length and tied into a neat ponytail. She stared back at me with stunning eyes that reminded me of earth and trees and gave a startled gasp.

"I'm sorry. I'm Jane. Jane Carbro. I'm here to speak with the Cullen family." The name, I knew it. I stared at her, trying to put my finger on the ringing familiarity.

"They're just inside." I shook my head, sure that I was looking at her strangely, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Her eyes dimmed slightly and her cheeks flushed even in the dim porch light, "I'm Alec Carbro's sister."

**xXx**

**AN: Confused? Think this curveball was too sharp? Well, remember the foreshadowing I kept mentioning that not many readers could spot? This is what it was referring to. Didn't notice Alice was acting strange these last few chapters? **

** Hope you guys were willing to catch the very small and very subtle hints. I'll explain thoroughly in the next chapter, of course.**

**Let me know how this chapter was for you. Do you like the relationship the boys have with the baby? or No? I'm here for you to vent your feelings. Leave a review and if you forget something, let me know through PM or my twitter account. **

**As always, thanks for reading!**


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